A/N: See first chapter for extensive notes

Twenty-four hours earlier...

Albus Dumbledore stood before the crowd, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously as he regarded the assembled students, all of whom were gazing up at him with rapt confusion.

"In the spirit of inner House cooperation –"

"Blimey," muttered James darkly, his hand stealing into the basket of rolls. He shoved two into his mouth, chewing reflectively. "He's not still on about that, is he? We've heard this speech since first year – all 'don't curse the Slytherins, they'll slime up the hall with their mucky blood ' and a fat lot of good it's done."

Ignoring the sharp stare from several nearby Ravenclaws, he rolled his eyes dramatically. "Gryffindors and Slytherins do not get on, ever. Ravenclaws almost always hate Hufflepuffs and the feeling is mutual. It's practically etched in history. In fact, it might literally be etched in history," he continued, glancing at Remus' ever-present copy of Hogwarts: A History. "Doesn't it say so in there?"

Remus narrowed his amber eyes and lovingly fingered the old volume, which was dog-eared and loosely held together by snapped binding. He drew himself to his full height, determined to look like the prefect he was. "Quiet. Some of us are actually trying to pay attention." His lecture was cut short when Sirius slammed the tome shut and hit him over the head with it, snickering obnoxiously at the resounding bonk. "Dammit, Sirius –"

"Shhh," Sirius hissed back, his own eyes wide and suddenly innocent. "Do you have to shout, Moony? I'm listening to the Headmaster."

"Sirius, if you don't – arrgh!" Remus cried, for Sirius had suddenly slid a hand under his jumper and had begun tickling his armpit with unnecessary ferocity. Twisting part-way out of his jumper, he made a move to distance himself, to no avail. Sirius tickled on, knowing, inexplicably, precisely the right place to run his fingers against Remus' sensitive skin. Thrashing about as he was, Remus' elbow nearly collided with Peter's jaw, his own homework and a pitcher of pumpkin juice before finally slamming into the silver teapot. Lukewarm tea gushed over his trousers, soaking Sirius' robes as well. "Get off!"

James controlled his outburst of laughter, barely. "Padfoot, Moony," he sighed, with dignity, though his lips twisted into a smirk. "I'm sure you're both bursting to rip off your robes and have at it right here in the midst of the Great Hall, but I'm afraid I need to remind you I've just eaten, and I shall be horribly sick if you insist on having a grope and snog in front of Peter and myself."

"Shut up, James," said Remus, with feeling. His cheeks burned brilliant pink, with horror, shame and barely disguised wanting.

"If you don't mind," piped up Peter, who had been watching the curious goings-ons with waning interest, "I think he said something about adventure."

"Ho ho," commented Sirius, appearing interested for the first time since Dumbledore had begun talking. He jumped up. "Adventure, d' y' say?" He continued on, in poor imitation of a pirate, complete with hand gestures presumably designed to simulate sword-fighting and parrot-catching. "M' boy, many a long year have I sailed the high seas in search of adventure. And 'nary a thought spared for the bleedin' saps lost to Davy Jones' locker have I entertained since the embarkation on my quest with my rabble and crew. If it's adventure ye be wantin', adventure ye shall have, me charming scalawag." He hit Peter hard on the shoulder and beamed triumphantly. "For treasure we seek, and bonnie lasses too." It was then that he noticed Professor McGonagall's penetrating dare, and he sat back down with dignity. "Argh."

A number of nearby Ravenclaws looked scandalised, though the closest Hufflepuffs convulsed with laughter. Headmaster Dumbledore, for his part, merely appeared tolerant. He peered at Sirius through his half-moon spectacles. "As I was saying, lessons will be on hold for the next few days so that activities can be presented in the name of inner-House unity." He waited for the muffled cheers and whispered conversations to die down before continuing. "We will begin with a scavenger hunt. Prizes will be awarded to those who complete their hunts in their entirety. All students will be paired off and given a list of items to be located with the time limit, which happens to be forty-eight hours. No," he added quickly, as a number of students began to grapple about for suitable partners. "There is a catch, I'm afraid."

"Here it comes," said Peter, glumly. He frittered away a piece of pork pie in the pocket of his billowing robes, mourning the long hours of tedious inner-House cooperation to follow. His Arithmancy homework – impossible, he thought, further subdued by the difficult task of ciphers and numerals and confusing little sums – was waiting on the unmade bed upstairs, but he doubted he would have any time to finish it as he was dragged along by a determined James, a bouncy Sirius and a cunning, well-read and entirely too eager Remus on the search for all manners of clues.

"All students will be paired with an individual from another House, which will hopefully open up the path of dialogue between the Houses and nullify the troublesome tendency towards self-segregation we have seen so blatantly displayed of late." Dumbledore's eyes lingered on the Gryffindors, James and Sirius in particular.

Peter frowned and scooped the last of his cold mashed potatoes into his mouth, masticating thoughtfully. "I'm not liking the sound of this."

"Me neither," confirmed James, who spied Remus' hopeful eyes and twitched. "Mind you, but it won't be half bad for Sirius; he's got girlfriends in all four Houses, and Remus, you get on well with most girls too, but I have no hope of pairing with Lily..."

"She wouldn't have you even if you could choose her, mate," Sirius reminded him, in good cheer. His cleverness was rewarded with a piece of steak and kidney pie smashed into his silky hair by a disgruntled looking James, which he flicked away mildly, not perturbed or chastened in the slightest.

"To ensure that this event proceeds as intended, Professor McGongall, Professor Slughorn, Professor Sprout and Professor Flitwick, along with myself, have assigned all pairings. When you are finished with your supper, please consult your Head of House to determine your partner. I shall like to remark in advance that no substitutions will be permitted." Dumbledore's cheery expression seemed even more delighted as he made this dire pronouncement. "We will reconvene in one hour, at which time the hunt will start."

"Bloody," decided James, giving Lily one last desperate glance as she rose elegantly from her seat, her unfinished meal abandoned, and strode over to Professor McGonagall in search of her partner. Look at her legs! cackled the reverent, lustful voice inside his head. Swishing under her skirt! He felt his shoulders sink as he watched her receive her assignment; her smile was rueful, but accepting, and she scooted over to the Ravenclaw table to join Caradoc Dearborn. "Bloody," he said again, for emphasis.

Sirius picked the last of the pie from his head and sucked his fingers reflectively, tasting crust. "May as well make the best of it," he decided. He watched Dorcas Meadows pick her way through the milling Hufflepuffs and hoped for the best. "Farewell, my one and only true love," he added as he jumped up from the table and cuffed Moony around the ear. "The time has come to pair myself with the lovely Miss Meadows."

"You're right, I suppose," James agreed reluctantly. "Remus, Peter, coming with? Strength through solidarity," he added, brooding.

They climbed from the table and approached McGonagall en masse. Sirius shoved aside a few first year Hufflepuffs who seemed to feel they were facing impending doom while Remus hissed under his breath and tried to hide the pleasure on his face when Sirius finally grabbed his wrist.

"Stop it – Padfoot – let go!"

"Moral support," came a thin voice through Sirius' gritted teeth.

Professor McGonagall raised her head wearily, taking in the lot of them and wondering what sort of unintentional mischief they would get into with their assigned partners. Deciding that it was likely to be less explosive then the intentional mischief the foursome often found themselves in, she nonetheless administered her stern, unyielding gaze. She heaved a tremendous sigh and unfolded the large roll of parchment before her. Smoothly, she ran one finger down the list in search of their names.

"Lupin, Remus," she began, straightening her green hat so that it sat pertly upon her head. "I have you paired off with Miss Marlene McKinnon of Slytherin." She gestured to the elegant girl perched at the Slytherin table, her long, bronzed legs revealed beneath a short green silk skirt and robes.

Glancing over to her, Remus made a small sound in his throat. Sirius clapped Remus hard upon the chest in a makeshift imitation of the Heimlich manoeuvre. "Hmmm... 'elllo, 'ello, 'ello," he said throatily, waggling his eyebrows. "Lucky devil, Moony, even if she is a Slytherin."

McGonagall gave them a significant stare, which quieted things a bit. "Mr Potter, you're with Miss Doris Purkiss of Hufflepuff." She studiously ignored his outraged guffaw and permitted him to deflate slowly while she searched onward. "Ah, Mr Pettigrew, who do we have for you? Oh yes, the enchanting Miss Emmeline Vance of Ravenclaw," McGonagall informed him pleasantly, though with a certain amount of frowning aimed in James' general direction, as he was still stammering and looking put upon.

"What yonder beauty shall presently beseech my sparkling company?" wondered Sirius with an excess of passion as he looked around the Great Hall. He tipped forward, regarding McGonagall for a moment. "Will it be the nubile Lorraine Madley of Ravenclaw? The busty Angelica Abbott of Hufflepuff? Maybe we will even flout tradition – nay, the very law of nature – and find me a sexy Slytherin. I mean, if Remus can have a beautiful Dark Arts obsessed fascist to serve as his cuddle bunny for the duration of this exercise, why can't I?" He managed to look very put-out at the thought of being denied. "What about Evangelina Rosier, eh, she's leggy, or Camille Parkinson with that lovely –"

"Mr Black," said Professor McGongall forcefully. She sat up a little straighter, rigid in her determination to subdue him. "It is my duty – no, my pleasure – to inform you that you have indeed been paired with a student from Slytherin." She shot an undecipherable glance across the room, smiling ever so slightly. "And I assure you, long legs do enter in to the equation, though I've never seen them out of trousers." She waited, holding the name on the tip of her tongue. Vindictive pleasure suffused her as she thought of the numerous times she had caught Sirius idly flying bewitched paper aeroplanes or writing candid notes to Remus in her class. "Your partner for this little exercise in tolerance is...Mr Severus Snape, of Slytherin House."

All of the air seemed to have been sucked out of the Great Hall. Sirius sighed at length, like a punctured balloon. Ignoring James' and Peter's hysterical cackling and glaring at Remus's barely concealed smirk he struggled to determine the best way to coax McGonagall into giving him a new partner. "Professor," Sirius began. He abruptly fell short. His mouth hung open, but no words emerged. He was speechless with horror.

"I'm sorry, Mr Black, but you heard Professor Dumbledore. All pairings are final." Professor McGonagall crossed and uncrossed her legs beneath her table, feeling rather impressed with herself. It was the first time in living memory that she had been able to silence Sirius Black for more than ten seconds. "I suggest you locate Mr Snape and prepare for the distribution of lists. The scavenger hunt begins at quarter past. There are some charming prizes for the winners, you know."

"But – but – but," Sirius stammered. "But," he added once more, as though for clarification.

"Snape, the greasy git," shouted Peter, triumphant. He danced around Sirius like a moon in orbit, altogether too cheerful. Flushed, his pink face seemed to glow. "Ha! And I thought Vance was something awful," he crowed, pointing out the chubby, frightened-looking young witch at the Ravenclaw table, who appeared rather ill at the prospect of their pairing. "But you've got Snape!"

Remus' hand floated down onto Sirius' shoulder and Sirius thought his legs might give out under that reassuring grip. "I'm sure it won't be so bad," said Remus gently, lying through his teeth. "Anyway, it's only two days."

James was having none of it. He pointed and howled in a rather accurate imitation of Peter, his dark hair mussed and his glasses off-centre. "Oh," he choked gleefully. "Never thought I'd live to see the day – you and Snivellus! Well, it serves you right, saying Lily wouldn't have me."

"She wouldn't," said Sirius. He felt wounded. The room seemed to sway around him and he found himself wishing the floor would open up and swallow him. Across the room he could see Severus, frozen like a deer in headlights at the Slytherin table, his great oversized robes billowing around him like gathering thunder heads. "Pinch me," he requested of Remus. "I'm having a nightmare."

"Sorry mate," James said easily. "You're awake."

"I'm in Hell, then," Sirius stated emotionlessly. He wondered for a moment if that might not be the case. A foul, unspeakable sort of Hell specifically for unrepentant Gryffindors, and I'm paired with the devil himself, he mused darkly, biting on his bottom lip. He wanted to do any number of things: hex Snape; run screaming from the room; hex Snape; deck James; call McGonagall and Dumbledore any number of choice words, and hex Snape.

Remus snorted. "Hell? That's a bit melodramatic, isn't it, Padfoot?"

"You know, it could be fun, this game," chimed in Peter. He glanced over at Emmeline Vance and felt his heart began to pound with anticipation, anxiety and excitement. "Let's make the best of it."

James uttered a laugh that betrayed no amusement. "Easy for you to say, you're not paired with a Hufflepuff nutter. Purkiss," he sighed. "My rotten luck. Still, at least she's no Snape." His laughter became more genuine as Peter joined him. Even Remus had to smile a bit.

Sirius glowered at the lot of them. "It's all fun and games until someone pairs you off with a Slytherin," he retorted miserably, glaring at his traitorous friends.