Jamie's mother had come home at just the wrong time. They heard the click of the front door and her call up to his bedroom.

"Jamie, I'm home!" The familiar greeting rang. "Sophie's at her friend's house until dinner. I was thinking spaghetti, would that be alright?"

The teenager rose from kissing his Guardian, turning his head reluctantly in the direction of the door. He looked down at Jack and both of them shared a weak smile; of course they'd be interrupted now… The winter spirit shook his head, chuckling softly as he relaxed his hands behind his head.

"That would be awesome, mom." Jamie shouted, half-heartedly veiling his sarcasm and annoyance. He didn't move from his straddling position on Jack's waist. "But, y'know… I'm not really hungry."

"You sure?" Her tone rang concerned.

"Yeah, I, uh, had a big lunch…"

Jack gave him a look. "You haven't eaten all day."

"And whose fault is that?" Jamie muttered to him.

"Yours."

"Shut up."

Jamie's mother hesitated before calling back. "Well, alright…."

The sound of her stepping upstairs and into her room next door finally caused Jamie to slump over, resting his forehead on Jack's chest.

"Bonerkill…" He groaned, slinking his arms around Jack's torso to hold him.

"If we were at the Ice Palace right now this wouldn't be a problem." Jack mused aloud.

"Hey, dude, you're the one who wanted to stay here." Jamie pointed out, tugging at his frost-covered hoodie string.

"Yeah, yeah… I suppose now would be a bad time to say I regret that decision."

Jamie punched his chest lightly. "You're an asshole." He chuckled.

A few minutes of silence, the sound of Jamie's mother moving around in the next room could be heard through the thin walls. Jack listened to Jamie's breathing. It wasn't as slow as when he was sleeping, but Jack preferred hearing his conscious breath. Being by Jamie's side as he slept every night was hypnotic and calming, but sometimes Jack wished Sandy would knock him out once in a while. He'd forgotten what it was like to sleep.

It comforted Jack; seeing Jamie so peaceful. He was quiet, his mind probably wandering off and thinking about who-knows-what. He wasn't shouting or stressing over anything like he often did when he was awake. This was the side of Jamie Jack needed to see more of. Calm. Content.

He knew there were things about Jamie he disliked. His hot temper and manic depression, to name a few. It was unsettling seeing the boy he lov—cared about—so dissatisfied with life in general. If Jamie kept up his I-Hate-The-World attitude, the idea of becoming an Essence might start looking more and more appealing…

"Hey, Jamie…" Jack spoke up. His hands had found their way back to the teenager's hair out of habit.

"Hmm?" He hummed a reply, cheek resting against the Guardian's chest and listening to his heartbeat. It was…hollow, slow and faint… Jamie could barely tell it was there… Weird…

Jack was hesitant in his request. "Can I… listen to your music?"

Jamie sat up. He looked at the winter spirit for a moment, taking in his cautious expression with a contemplative one. After a few seconds, the brunet leaned across Jack, reaching for his bedside table. He unwound the earphones from his iPod, putting one in his ear and offering the other to Jack.

The Guardian broke out into a smile, taking it and snuggling up at the head of the bed next to Jamie, waiting for him to pick a song.

Jamie's hands shook as he scrolled through his endless supply of music. It was one thing deciding what to listen to on your own… but choosing the right song for other people was a bigger issue altogether.

He bit his lip, ignoring Jack looking over his shoulder at the song titles as they flew by. Jamie's finger hovered over one song for a second longer and then reconsidered, beginning the cycle of indecisive scrolling again. This went on for another minute, Jack patiently waiting while the teenager racked his brain for the perfect song.

Okay, definitely no Broadway musicals… Jamie thought, flicking past his various selections of Original Soundtracks. Talk about an embarrassing collection. Should he just… play whatever? Maybe just his favorite song? Oh god what was his favorite song? Why did he have so many bands to choose from?! Oh god oh god this is ridiculous it's just a fucking song. Okay. Calm down. Just… choose!

Jamie's finger pressed hard on the button, selecting a song from his "Shit That Doesn't Suck" playlist. He tensed up a bit when the first few beats of Stella pounded through his ear.

Good. Nothing too serious. Nothing too bubblegum. Nothing too gooey-romantic (He had a surprising surplus of the dumb love-y stuff. Not that he would admit that to anyone, though). Just light, upbeat, casual All Time Low.

Jack began bobbing his head almost instantly and Jamie resisted the urge to do the same. He cast occasional glances over at him, biting his lip and worried out of his mind that Jack wouldn't like it, but the winter spirit was grinning, taking in the beat and chords and lyrics appropriately. When the song ended, Jamie paused the device quickly so the next song wouldn't play. He supposed that was enough for one day… Jack was probably just acting like he was enjoying what he was listening to for Jamie's sake. He wouldn't want to hear any more—

The smile remained on Jack's face. "That wasactually really good."

"Really?" Jamie blinked.

He nodded. "Yeah! I'm not too picky about music, Jamie. I'm probably going to love everything you've got on there."

So basically Jack just got a look at 1/10,000th of Jamie's heart and… he was handling it better than expected.

"Well, ah… that's not one of their best songs but yeah it is pretty awesome…" Jamie's nervousness was subsiding a bit.

"Well, what's their best song?" Jack seemed genuinely curious, which brought a smile to Jamie's lips.

"Oh, don't even get me started…"

•

Jamie had fallen asleep curled up next to Jack, one earphone in and listening to the more beautifully dark side of his musical collection. Jack was tempted to turn the music off once he noticed Jamie sleeping soundly next to him, but stopped when the next song started up and caught his attention. It was slow, and a mellow piano struck a few keys before the vocals came. The song became more beautiful as it progressed, its affect strengthening as Jack paid more attention to the lyrics… Lead Me Out Of The Dark.

He found himself lost in the flowing melody. So much so that it started lulling him into a meditation until he, too, drifted off to sleep.

•

Jamie was dreaming. At least, it seemed like a dream. He wasn't having a nightmare, but… damn, it was unsettling.

It started out like the dream he had a few nights ago. Jack and Tooth in her Palace. But this time the scene was more focused on Jack. His words were clear and stood out more than they did before.

"Hey, Tooth, can Guardians die?"

"…people would stop believing in me and I'd eventually die? Like, for real this time?"

"Why would I want to die?...My life is awesome!"

Then the scene shifted, and a new one took its place. Jack was still there, Toothiana was speaking to him. She was leaning close to him, a look of concern and caution on her face. They weren't at the Palace and everything looked incredibly dark. Jamie couldn't hear their conversation well until he began focusing.

"…and you've been alone for a really long time…" The Queen Tooth Fairy used that honey-sweet voice she was known for. "I just don't know if you're handling this well…"

The conversation jumped, like scratches on a video tape, and Jamie could only make out a few bits between the static.

Jack's words were bitter. "Things were fine until—" "Now we're leaving them and I—" "After all we did we're just—" "Jamie doesn't deserve this—"

Tooth's side of the discussion was foggy; her words were muffled and then normal again in an instant. "—you don't have to be on your own again."

Jamie could barely sort out what happened next. Whether his dream skipped a few moments or not, he wasn't sure. But the next thing he saw was Jack reaching for his fellow Guardian and pulling her close, kissing her as if his life depended on it.

Jamie's mind reeled, and in the haze of his dream the scene changed again without warning. This time it was him and Jack in his bedroom. The images and sounds were crisp, and Jamie was facing his Guardian, his words flowing out on their own automatically.

"I don't trust you. I've known for a long time that I don't. You're so reserved, Jack. You never tell people what's really hurting you. Or what could hurt other people."

Jack offered no response, and the scene flickered a few seconds.

"You've been hiding it from me." Jamie murmured.

"I don't see why it matters." Jack's fists were clenched and he avoided Jamie's eye contact.

"You're basically lying straight to my face about all of it!"

"It's not lying if you've never asked me directly."

"So you just thought it would be a good idea to leave out one very important detail about the night you became an Essence?"

"You got the general idea!"

"You died, Jack! You didn't just suddenly transform into this magical immortal being right before you suffocated. You actually, properly died!"

"That doesn't matter. I'm fine now, aren't I?"

"Is the same thing going to happen to me?"

Jack didn't answer.

Jamie took a step forward, desperation in his eyes as he grabbed the unresponsive Guardian's arm. "Am I going to die, Jack?"

"What do you care?!" He snapped, glaring at him. "You were so eager to die before. How is this any different from wanting to do it yourself?"

Jamie was in shock. "You… you don't have the fucking right to say that!"

"Don't I?" Jack was inches from his face. "Think you're the only one here who's wanted to fucking die?"

And Jamie woke up in a cold sweat.

He sat there for a while, shaking and rubbing his head, trying to clear his brain. Holy shit. His breathing was heavy. What the fuck was that, Sandman? But he received no answer. A dream that psychologically tormenting could definitely qualify as a nightmare, but Jamie didn't feel like his latest unconscious journey had been the work of Pitch Black.

It was only after flopping back down on the pillow and taking a few more deep breaths did Jamie notice that Jack wasn't awake.

"Wha—?" He wondered aloud, tilting his head. But… Jack doesn't…sleep… Maybe Jamie was hallucinating. He glanced at the clock. Six in the morning. Yeah, way too early. Whatever was going on could wait until he was well-rested. But as soon as his eyes closed he was reminded of his nightmarish dream.

Jamie let out an aggravated sigh; no more sleep today, then. He sat up once more, casting another glance at the sleeping Guardian. Did Jamie look this cute when he was sleeping? Doubtful. He gave Jack's nose a light bop, chuckling when the spirit's face scrunched up and burrowed into the pillow.

"You adorable motherfucker." Jamie kept his voice low. He frowned when the image of Jack kissing Toothiana flashed back through his memory. Did that actually happen? No, it was just a dream… Was it? What was the Sandman trying to tell him? What was that fake argument about? The rush of information was giving Jamie a headache. He'd be surprised if he could make sense of any of it. …One thing did stick out to him, however, and it was his underlying thought through the whole dream; He really didn't trust Jack. Not completely…

•

Jack woke up about four hours later. Jamie had been spacing out and listening to his music by then, having spent the majority of that time poking various parts of Jack and watching him react unconsciously. Hours of entertainment.

The Guardian's eyes opened slowly. A hand went up to rub his eyes before realizing what was going on. "Woah," He blinked. "Did that really just happen?"

"What? You sleeping?" Jamie removed his headphones, grinning down at Jack's surprised face. "Yeah. It was cute as hell."

Jack smirked and then let out a yawn. "That was weird." He stretched. "What time is it?"

"Ten." Jamie answered shortly. He was sitting up, his back to Jack as he fumbled with his iPod. There was a "Wow," from Jack in response. Jamie continued to mess with the device until he let out a yelp when he felt Jack grab him from the waist and pull him down onto the bed.

"J-Jesus!" Jamie exclaimed, recovering quickly when Jack nuzzled into his neck and kissed there softly. "What was that for?" The teenager smiled despite himself.

"I had a dream about you."

"Was it dirty?"

Jack laughed. "No. It was cute, though."

Jamie took a deep breath, turning over on his side and closing his eyes. "Tell me about it."

"There wasn't really much to it…" Jack began. "Just us. Lying here like we normally do. But… we were a lot happier." Jamie opened his eyes. "We weren't worried about the future, near or distant… We just… lied there. Not a care in the world…"

There was a few seconds of silence before Jamie responded. "I'd like that." He mumbled.

"Me too…" Jack rested his forehead on Jamie's, closing his eyes as they lay there, every worry weighing down their peace.

It was past noon before they decided to do anything, Jack only getting an idea upon seeing the dusty game console plugged into Jamie's television. They messed around with his small selection of video games for a few hours, though Jamie spent half that time teaching Jack the controls. Once he got the hang of it, Jamie went easy on him. It wasn't hard seeing how he'd almost forgotten how to play, himself. Plus, Jack acted really adorable whenever he won, so Jamie had all the more reason to let him. They had fun, and it was a nice distraction from the terrible things they had to think over that morning.

They'd almost forgotten they weren't the only two people in the world when Jamie's mother knocked on his bedroom door.

"Yeah?" Jamie responded automatically, not pausing the game or looking away from it.

She ducked her head in. "Jamie, I'm going out for a bit. Can you watch Sophie while I'm gone?"

"Yeah." He repeated monotonously. She uttered a "Thanks," in response before leaving.

Jamie glanced over at Jack, a thought occurring to him. "How did she not notice the floating controller?"

Jack had his eyes glued to the screen. "I don't think she could see it."

"Really?"

"Yeah… I don't know why, but any inanimate object I hold or wear, or whatever, turns invisible too. That's why people can't see my staff or clothes."

"Your clothes, huh?" Jamie raised an eyebrow, idea forming. "So if you took them off, people'd be able to see them?"

Jack put down his controller. "I dunno…" He shifted to face Jamie, lifting up the edge of his hoodie with an exaggerated seductive expression. "Wanna test that theory?"

"You dumbass." Jamie chuckled, but kissed him anyway. Jack's hands wrapped around the teenager's neck as Jamie leaned over him.

They went at it for a while, their video game forgotten, biting lips and necks and occasionally forgetting to breathe. Jamie managed to get Jack's shirt halfway off before Jack took control, pulling Jamie to the floor and straddling him. He tore off the remainder of his hoodie and dove down for more kisses, taking Jamie's shirt in the process.

At this point neither of them wanted to stop when they felt pressure growing in their partner's jeans. In fact the sensation drove them to intensify their actions. The biting got messier, the kisses fuller. Jack's hands gripped Jamie's waist as the teenager ran his hands through his white hair. The light of the TV cast red glow across their bare skin.

They could actually do it this time. They weren't in a rusty shower stall; Jamie's carpeted floor was a nice alternative. No one to stop them, nowhere to be. Nothing in their way…

Except Jamie's god damn brain, of course.

Am I ready for this? Jamie worried internally as Jack kissed his neck. Of course I am, idiot! It's Jack! No one has ever made me feel this crazy in my life. He shuddered when Jack pressed their hips together again.

But no one's ever done this to me before…Am I over thinking this? Fuck, yeah I am. Shut up, brain! Just let him—oh god. His mind became a temporary blur when he felt the ecstatic sensation of Jack's growing erection grinding against his own between the fabrics of their pants.

"Jesus Christ…" Jamie mumbled into the nape of Jack's neck. He let out a moan as the winter spirit bit at the skin above his collarbone. His cold tongue licked at the reddening spot, his lips kissing the fresh hickey. Jack's actions were drawn out; savoring every taste he got of Jamie's hot skin.

The teenager felt complete sensory overload. His eyes were half-lidded at the feeling of cold hands tracing his arched back. His kisses with Jack were deep, sloppy, and urgent. When lips weren't tangled together, they were exploring various sensitive nooks of their partner's upper body.

Jamie had a hard time keeping track of all that was going on. He moaned as he felt Jack's freezing fingers curl to nails and leave long, red scratches down Jamie's bare back.

The sudden realization of how fast their actions were progressing hit Jamie hard.

Then Jack's right hand—smooth, cold, delicate—slid from Jamie's chest down to his pants. His stomach lurched as the Guardian's fingers slowly undid the button and zipper caging in the trying bulge. Jack continued to kiss him as now both his hands went to the task of removing his jeans.

Jamie's brain began panicking, and of course his thoughts consisted of scenes from his dream that morning. Why had it been so confusing? Should he not have taken it so seriously and just moved on? Maybe then he wouldn't be in this situation, shattering words pounding in his brain on repeat; I don't trust you. I don't trust you. I don't fucking trust you. Over and over again. Jamie shut his eyes tight, as if he could block out the nagging worry in the pit of his stomach. Enjoy this. Forget about that idiotic dream and how Jack may or may not have kissed the Tooth Fairy and could possibly be lying to you about what really might happen in three days. Yup. Nothing to be suspicious about…

Fuck.

Jamie pulled away from the Guardian's kiss, his whole body retracting instinctively.

"Jack, wait." His mouth moved before he could help it. He did a good job of not sounding as panicked as he felt, but Jack heard the significance in the command and withdrew his hands from the teenager's jeans. The atmosphere changed from lustful to awkward in a matter of milliseconds. The hot, heavy breathing that turned them on so much now sounded raspy and frantic. Jamie had tensed up but Jack didn't want to move until he was completely sure things were going south.

"What's wrong?" Jack tried not to appear crestfallen. He locked eyes with Jamie and saw the nervousness veiled there.

"I don't think we should do this." The brunet didn't rush his words, but they sounded too immediate for his liking.

Jack would be lying if he said he didn't expect that reaction, but he put on a concerned expression as he shifted his weight, getting off Jamie and sitting beside him. The teenager sat up, rubbing the nape of his neck uncomfortably.

"Alright." Jack wasn't annoyed, thank God. "Why?"

Why? Because the Sandman's been fucking with my brain and I hate myself for letting it get to me in the middle of fucking foreplay. Jamie's inner monologue screamed. He looked anywhere but Jack's piercing blue eyes. "I…just…I don't think we should…go all the way…right…now?" He cringed at how awful his thoughts sounded out loud. "I mean… sex is kind of…serious? And… I just…" Shoot me. Actually shoot me in the fucking temple right now; I sound like a complete idiot. Jamie felt physical pain from his words alone.

Luckily, Jack was incredibly patient. He gave Jamie the chance to finish, but when the teenager ran out of words he attempted to translate. "So… you're not ready?"

"N-no, I am… more than ready, really, ah, but…" There was no way he was going to tell him he didn't want to have sex because of a dream he had scared him. "I just think our first time should be something…special…" Oh, god, he sounded like a sappy teenage romance novel. "I-I mean… My mom could be back any minute and Sophie's still here so I dunno I just don't think now's the right… time…" He let his words fade off, glancing down at the floor again.

"Something special…" Jack repeated, a small grin on his face. He thought for a moment before nodding. "Alright. If that's what you want, Jamie." He leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Although," Jack looked into his eyes, mischievous glint present in his own. "I do have a compromise…"

He gave Jamie's lips another kiss before leaning closer and whispering in his ear. "Just tell me when you want me to stop." And with that, he began.

(im sorry its late and i half-assed it.)

EDIT: Fixed the NSFW scene and made it semi-SFW... sorry. i forgot about fanfiction's policy, thanks for (rudely) reminding me. (although Shatter's still on this site and that story has some scenes that aren't exactly family friendly...)