Chapter four – Max's thoughts
What if, in the escape of '09, Max hadn't escaped with the others? What if Jondy had tried to save her when she fell in the ice, but in the end they both got caught?
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'10 (Max's POV)
I think of him every night now. Zack. He was our CO, our leader, our brother. He was my favourite brother. He was strong, and fast and he cared so much about us. He'd do anything for us. I know he would.
Sometimes at night, Jondy and I wander around the grounds, talking about things. One of the things we always seem to talk about is how much we miss them. Eleven of them got away that night, leaving twelve of us behind. I don't blame them; in fact, I love them even more because they were able to get out there, into the real world. Maybe some day me and Jondy will get out of here, and find them again.
The one I miss the most, is Zack. But I guess that's pretty obvious. It's the thought of him that keeps me sane while they try to simplify us. You see, they feel that they made a mistake with us, that they made us too independent. They think that's why we escaped. So now they're trying to reprogram us, tell us that the eleven that escaped are traitors, that they abandoned the mission. But I know that's not true. All they did was get a new mission. It's called getting a life.
So, I sit here in class with the other Alpha X-5's watching slides. There are pictures of all those who escaped, with words mixed in. Words like traitor, snake, deserter, coward. And while I might look like I'm watching, I'm not. Instead I think of all the things we did, before the escape. I think of each of my brothers and sisters that escaped, or were killed trying. And it keeps me sane. It keeps me from forgetting who I am. I am not the only one who does this. I know Jondy sits here thinking too, in fact, I think most of us just tune out to what the slides are saying.
The Beta X-5's don't have to watch these slides. I don't know what they do instead, but they go off to another classroom. Maybe they get free time. Who knows?
But for now, I'll just keep on thinking about my family. These classes can't go on forever. At least, I hope they don't. But even if they do, I'll never watch or listen. I'll never become what they want us to be. If I did, I would be failing my family.
Family. Mine seems to have grown bigger. At first there were thirty of us. Then Cora got taken away, and then Jack got the shakes too bad, and they took him away too. Then there was the escape. It started when Eva was killed. Killed by the Colonel. If I get out of here, I'll never touch a gun again.
We lost 15 in the escape. Eleven of them got away and four more were killed. That left twelve of us. A very small family compared to what we used to have. There wasn't even half of us left. But we managed. Some how we grew even closer to each other than we had before. It was like we were afraid that we would wake up one morning and find everyone else gone. Well it seemed that way sometimes. I mean, they even moved us out of the large barracks, and put us into rooms in pairs. We were lucky that there were an even amount of boys and girls, because they decided that they didn't want the genders mixing at night. So us girls were shunted into three rooms in one corridor, while the boys were placed in three rooms in a corridor off ours.
And then there's the Beta X-5's. All twenty-two of them. That took us up to thirty-four, which is more than we had in the first place. It meant that there were more of them in classes, and it is easier for me to hide. If I want to hide that is.
But sometimes having a large family has its disadvantages. There are times when I want to just be by myself, with no one but Jondy for company. Because if I go somewhere, then Jondy will be by my side. Jondy likes to look after me, and protect me. So I do the same for her. We're inseparable.
I wonder what Zack's doing right now. Knowing him he'll be off saving someone's ass. I wonder who's though. I wish it were my ass out there that he was saving, because that would mean that I could see him and the others again. But if I were out there, then I'd want Jondy to be by my side. I don't know what I'd do with out her.
Oh look, this stupid class is finally finished. I hope we don't have another one for a while. Because then I won't have to dream about the life I could have had if only I hadn't fallen through the ice. The life that the others have. I wonder how they're doing. I wonder what they're doing. Like maybe Tinga's helping other kids, and Zack's watching out for all of them. But the truth is, they're probably living on the run, always looking over their shoulders. Hope is for losers. It's a con job people trip behind till they finally get a grip on the cold, hard truth. Still, I hope that they're out there somewhere and that they're okay.