A.N: READ PLEASE: Ok Guys I just wanted to post this to apologize for my lack of updating but I would like to say that I do not appreciate getting an email saying I'm a disappointment. If you want to tell me how you feel then feel free but I would like to say that there are reasons that I have not updated. My Grandfather who was my best friend died suddenly and ever since then I haven't been able to write much that and I do hold two jobs and I go to college and spend a lot of my time in a recording studio and my schools theatre. So I am very sorry I have not kept my promise and I would like to update but I am not going to post a chapter that I think is complete crap. I think you readers deserve more than that but I will be posting one more later tonight to hold you over since I am now in a writing mood. So here is the next installment of Just Once?... (And no it isn't for you mister/ misses unimpressed, it's for the people who truly want it and have waited patiently.)
It felt like months maybe years that the silence stretched on as Effie reached her hand into the small bowl and call Peeta's name. The silence seemed endless maybe it was who knew anymore. All I ever heard was silence even the train seemed quiet now. Looking back on the past it's hard to believe such sorrow could have a sound at all, let alone anything worth remembering. Watching the avoxes bring out the food for their dinner I contemplated if everyone was mute and we just made up whatever we wanted to hear, no that couldn't be because if that was true then I wouldn't be here, Peeta wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be going to our death once more.
Looking over at the blonde in question he smiled at me only to be met with a shake of my head. This is it I can't go on like this anymore. Rising from my chair without uttering a word I moved out of the room well aware of everyone's eyes following me. Moving toward the back of the train I contemplated jumping off the back. It wouldn't do anything of course but it was a thought. Feeling a pair of arms around me I turned into the embrace of the one who was fooling the world with me.
There was nowhere for us to go. Nowhere for us to run and yet we are fighting as hard as we can hoping for a way out.
The opening ceramonies pass in a blurr. Finnick tries to speak to me but I only hold tighter to Peeta and hearing nothing. The others in my group seemed to have accepted the fact that I would not respond. Only Peeta tried to make things better. I would feel him come into my room at night and hold me. I think he whispers reassuring words to me but I can't hear them, only feel his lips brush against my skin. I know he needs me but right now there is nothing I can do. He needs to learn to live without me.
Interview night was something as well. Peeta and I did ours together dressed in out wedding clothes. He answers everything Ceaser asks and I'm sure the crow goes crazy. Peeta tells them of the baby because I can see everyone's face drop from the news and assume that's why I am so distraught. Finnick takes particular care of me since I probably remind him of his Annie back home. A poor girl that the games have ruined. Just one more victim who isn't able to function.
Then the day comes, Launch day. I can't respond to anything Cinna says and he knows. With one final hug I step onto the launch pad and watch the glass close around me. The guards come and I see Cinna topple to the ground. Then something happens its as if the world explodes around me. Crumpling to my knees I hear everything. Peeta's words to me at night. The crowd at interviews. Gale's pleas, mothers idle talk and prim's voice. But what tops them all are Cinna's screams. Loud and terrified he screams. Painful screams and yet I manage to take in one word from all the sound coming in 'Mockingjay'. The one thing that I fear the most and yet it is the one thing that traps me in this tube.
The sun light is blinding but not like the sound. The waves, the countdown clock and its as if I can hear the people in the control room. Looking around I don't see Peeta but that doesn't matter now that I look up in anticipation for the gong.
Diving into the water I make my way to the sand, to my Peeta. Reaching the sand I'm not sure what happens after Finnick finds me all I want is my Peeta that all that matters. Finnick points him out struggling with another tribute in the water. Diving to him I swim other the other male and drag him under with me holding him down until I am sure he is done for. Coming up for air I grab Peeta kissing him with all the fear and love I can possess.
"Peeta. It's time. Let's make them pay." I utter with as much venom as I can muster. I am changed. I am not the same and I like it.