He pulled up and sat there, contemplating what he was about to do. "You don't have to do this, you can come and stay with us on the road. I will protect you, I will protect Judith. There's no reason for the two of you to go back. Let me help you, please. Beth please, let me help you. I don't even care that the baby is not yours, I just don't want you to go."
"Ethan, we went over this … they are my family. My life is there."
"What reason there?"
"One big reason … Rick." She licked her lips. "Thank you for the offer, and I appreciate it, but he needs me just as much as you do. He is her father and he takes care of her and me both; he has so much on him, there are times I cry for him because he has no one to help him lay his burdens down."
"You want to be that person, don't you?"
"I do, more than anything and most times I help him do that but the rest of the time he keeps it all bottled in like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. If I could take that from him, and give him the peace and rest he so deserves, everything would be fine. I would not even care if he loved me or not."
"You really love him that much?" He climbed out the driver's seat and walked around to her side of the car, blocking their view of her.
"Yes I do." She paused. "Is there something wrong with that?"
"Not a bit. I thought your mom was that for me, but we had our issues." He paused and looked over his shoulder. "Now, take a good long look at him."
She was startled by what she saw. "What's wrong with him?"
"That is the same man you fell in love with, except he has nothing to lose. He thinks you and that precious little girl are dead. He's out of control, probably itching for a fight too."
"What about Carl?" He hung his head as her hands began to tremble. "At the prison?"
"It would seem so, but we don't know the details and they are not very forthcoming with their information where we are concerned.. Your father and Maggie are here, they made it. Aren't you happy about that?"
She nodded as she kept staring at Rick; all she could think about is getting out of the car and running to him as fast as she could.
"Let me out, Ethan." She wanted to run to him and throw her arms around him. Her hands began shaking as she stared at him.
As if sensing her thoughts, he opened the door. "I understand what you are feeling right now but there's something you need to think about."
"What else is there to think about. He'll be happy to see me and Judith. He'll go back to his old self and life will go on."
"I know he will, but that's not the point. If you don't take him and run as far away as you can, you're going to lose him. He feels like there is no hope, he lost his son and he thinks he lost his daughter and you but he hasn't. He's given up; look at him, look at his eyes, that is a man who thinks he has nothing to lose and doesn't care about his own life or the life of anyone else around him. Now tell me, is he stable enough to care for his own child."
She looked passed him and stared at Rick. The furor and anger in his eyes as palpable, she could feel the hate from the safety of the car. Tears welled up in her eyes; all this time, he had to deal with the loss of his son and the thoughts of his daughter being dead too.
"But what if he won't leave with me?" she asked, stifling a sob. "What if he doesn't want to go? What if this is how he wants to live?"
"He will go with you sweetheart, he will but if you have to … make him go, make him leave, make him choose to put his family first. When that man sees you walking up with that precious baby in your arms, all that anger and hate you see right now will melt away. You will have given hope back into his life, and the way he looks now is a man who has lost every shred of hope there is and is on the verge of losing every shred of humanity he has left. He hasn't let this world get too tight a grip on him yet, but it is starting to tighten."
"Rick would never let that happen, he's not …"
"What? Made that way? Neither was I Beth, and look how I became."
"So I am supposed to walk up to him and say 'hey, we're alive and by the way let's run away together'. He will probably think I am nuts."
"Then you will have to convince him that if he doesn't go then he's not just gambling with his life, he's gambling with yours and hers." Licking his lips, he looked back over his shoulder. "All that baby stuff you liked, all the clothes for you … they are piled in the back of this car. I had Groves and Mitch load it with water and food; there's enough in here that neither of you will starve for at least three months. That will give you enough time to find a place and get settled before you start needing to think about supplies."
"But why Ethan, why are you doing this?" she wept softly.
"Because of him, because of Shawn." He fingered the picture on the sun visor. "That boy meant the world to me, even more so when your mother left. We had our issues, but I never stopped loving him. You know that as well as I do. Shawn was my everything before I remarried and had Penny. That picture is proof of the relationship the three of us shared those times you two came to stay with me."
She nodded and looked at the picture. It was the only one of the three of them together; reaching her hand up, she fingered it gently. That had been one of the happiest times of her life, being with Ethan and Shawn and not worrying about how bad her daddy was. Shawn enjoyed spending time with Ethan and even enjoyed taking Beth with him to visit on occasion till daddy stopped it when she was 10.
"If Rick is half the man I give him credit for, then he will jump at this opportunity." Reaching past her, he turned the car off and pulled the keys out. He placed them in her hands and smiled. "The car is yours."
"I don't…"
"Don't, just listen to me. Rick is a good man, a decent man; he has morals, beliefs, faith, and all that has been shattered by this world. If you give him the chance to start to heal from that, you will find a man capable of giving you so much and then more. He has the capacity to love again, but it will take a stronger woman of faith to stand by him. It will take a woman who is loving, caring, considerate and kind … it will take the mother of his child to bring him around. He is fighting a losing battle with his demons right now, and they are winning hand over fist."
She stared out at him as Ethan stood there, shielding her from everyone's view. "But what if he doesn't love me like that?"
"Beth, I believe deep down he does love you because he wouldn't have left the care of his infant child to you if he didn't. Somewhere, down deep inside, is where that love is. It is buried deep down because he feels the need to be harden and not lose the respect of those people around him. When you step out of this car and take that beautiful little girl into your arms and walk to him, it will come out. You will bring him back from the brink, and you will start to save him again." His words echoed in her mind, a conversation she had all to well with Rick before they were separated at the prison. "You told me yourself that you two spoke about this, remember? Do you remember what he told you? I want you to think about that."
She thought for a moment as she brushed tears away. "He said he was happy that I was taking care of her, and that he would have no problem if Judith ever called me mama. He said I had become her second mother; I told him I could never replace Lori, and I don't want to. I want her to remember what her mother went through so she could be alive. I want to honor her memory, and now I want to honor Carl's too. They were his family."
"Yes they were, and that is gone … his old life has been shattered, like mine and like yours. He has nothing to cling to, except for you and that baby girl."
"Do you think he will accept me back after thinking I was dead?"
"Child please, aren't you the one who said he kissed you like a man kisses a woman?"
"Yea, that was for my eighteenth birthday. He took me out on a supply run in a housing development. There were no walkers, and he thought it would be a nice birthday present … it started to rain, then he kissed me and I felt like he could finally see me."
"And he did Beth, he did. He saw you for who you were, not just as the young woman caring for his daughter. He saw you through all the pain as his bright spot." Reaching down, he helped her out. "If Shawn were here, what do you think he would say?"
"Go for it," she replied. She rose from the car, pulling the warm leather jacket he'd given her around her tighter. Opening the back door, he pulled the gun belt out and handed it to her. She took it from him, lovingly running her hands over the burnt leather as she slid it around her waist and fastened it.
Opening the side door, he reached in and unbuckled Judith from the car seat. Taking hold of the doll she'd fallen in love with, he picked her up and held her against him. Using his hip to shut the door, he handed Beth the doll and hugged her.
"Jack and Maggie are your family, I know, but if you stay with them they will always hold you back. They won't understand a relationship with Rick, they won't understand you needing to protect him and her with your life … they just won't understand. They will try and separate you, they will try and keep you away from him and they may try to take her away too. What if Jack was to tell Rick that you couldn't watch Judith any longer, that he would have to find someone like Sasha to take care of her. What would you do?
"They're not bad people, never have been and never will be. I am not trying to make you doubt them, I am just trying to make you see that what you told me you wanted, they won't let you have. They won't let you be with him because of age, his past and every other thing that they can think of. They can't forgive him for the farm and turning their world upside down."
"Can you?"
"What?"
"Forgive him for the farm."
"He kept you from being bit, that's all that matters."
Wiping her eyes, she nodded silently as she pocketed the keys in with the small handgun. She slipped her arm around his waist as they started walking to where they were gathered. She felt like that this would be the last time she ever saw Ethan Blake again and couldn't bear the thoughts of that ever coming true. "You could stay with us."
"Child, they want to skin me alive as it is. I don't think I could live under that type of constant pressure of not knowing if a small screw-up would get me killed." Reaching into his pocket, he fished a piece of paper out and slid it into her pocket. "If after a month you two are not settled, that is the location of a survivor's camp we have heard about. Take them and go there; I will be shot on sight if I show up, they consider me a war criminal. Just go there and tell them that you and your husband have been on the run since the beginning and you need a safer place to raise your daughter."
They started walking back to where the others had gathered; halfway there he stopped. He placed a kiss on the baby's head as he handed her over to Beth. Leaning over, he placed a kiss on her forehead and a kiss on her cheek. "I was mad at Annette when she left, but I am so glad that she found happiness and had you as a daughter."
"Thank you," she smiled and kissed his cheek.
"Wait here a moment." He strolled ahead of her to stand with Carol, Mitch and Groves. "We are taking our leave of you fair folks. Like I said, we won't no trouble so we're causing no trouble. We just came to see who was throwing the party."
"Then why show up?" Daryl asked, laying a hand on Rick's shoulder.
"We were just dropping off something you misplaced awhile back. We did that now we're on our way. Don't worry, we won't see each other again."
"So that's it, we're leaving?" Carol questioned.
"We did what we came to do, you can stay if you want."
"No, I will go with you. I said I would, and I am a woman of my word." She looked over at him. "Goodbye Daryl, it was fun for a little while."
"You're stupid to go with him," Daryl fumed.
"Yea well, at least I don't have to look over my shoulder." She walked up to Beth and kissed her cheek. "Take care of her, and keep an eye on her daddy too."
"I will," Beth smiled.
The wind whipped up and tore her ponytail loose from the jacket before freeing her reddish-blonde hair. It whipped in the wind around her as she stood, watching them leave. She placed a kiss on Judith's cheek and waved to them. Ethan stared at her for a long moment, almost regretting his decision. He waved to her as he climbed inside the Trailblazer and cranked the engine. They pulled away, spinning tires in the dirt as they vanished into the night.
She stood, staring after them for a long quiet moment before turning her attention to the group … her friends and family. Everything he had said made sense, everything he warned her about made sense and deep down, she felt the right thing to do was get Rick and run. Her fight or flight instincts had kicked in when she held Judith to her, running from the burning prison. She hadn't known at the time if any of them had survived, and she worried for her own survival until she found Rick's gun where he must have dropped it while trying to escape. She ran her hand down the holster, reminding herself of what she had endured before Mitch had found her.
"All right sweetie, let's do this and go see daddy," she spoke to the baby, holding her closer.
"They left somebody," Daryl's voice cut through the haze in Rick's mind.
"Where?" he asked.
"Heading this way, looks like a blonde carrying something. She looks tough, wearing a gun around her waist like that," Daryl mused. "Damn, how did a girl like that get a gun like that?"
"Wonder what she had to do with the Governor? Wonder if she is a discarded play toy of his that he's turning over," Michonne rumbled.
"Well, whoever she is … she's carrying a baby," Sasha spoke as her voice caught. "That girl, or woman, is carrying a baby."
"A baby?" Maggie questioned. "Who in their right mind would have a child in this world?" She noticed the look across Glenn's face. "Glenn, I am so sorry. I opened my mouth and …"
"It's okay, we will deal with it," he smiled and gripped her hand.
"She is someone with a lot of love to share. Look at the way she's holding it, that has definitely got to be her own child," Jack smiled. "We need to offer her help."
"Wonder how bad off she is," Glenn mused. "Spending all this time with him, she's probably warped like him."
"Probably so," Daryl spoke as he looked at Rick. "What?"
The look on Rick's face was that he had seen a ghost. He felt like he was looking at one, but not a hallucination of Lori but of Beth. Shaking his head, he stared back at the slowly approaching figure, holding the baby so tenderly. "Daryl, I think I am going crazy."
"No, you're not. She was in that black car the Governor drove up in. He left the car along with her and her kid," Daryl replied. "She's real, so's the kid."
The pain and anguish he'd felt over Carl and Judith's deaths left him; tears began running down his face as she got closer. He could barely make out her features, but his heart was screaming her name to him. He suddenly felt Lori's presence beside him, gripping his hand to steel his nerves. "It's her, she's alive, they both are," he heard her whisper to him. "It's our daughter and Beth."
Her reddish-blonde hair flowed gently in the breeze. Her walk, the way she carried the baby … it was all Beth. The height was right, the build was right, the clothes were wrong, but there was no denying her. She wasn't an angel, she wasn't a vision, she was real and alive. His knees gave way as he fell to them, tears in his eyes. Maggie and Glenn ran to his side, helping him back on his feet.
"Are you all right?" Maggie asked, rubbing the tears from his face. "Rick, what's wrong?"
He pushed them off as he started trudging towards the approaching figure. He unsteady trudging turned into faster steps until he stopped halfway to her. She stopped too, just staring at him. He wanted her to continue to come to him, but she stood froze. He followed her glance over his shoulder, noticing that Glenn, Maggie, Daryl and Jack were moving up.
"Wait," he called back to them. "Please, wait."
"She might need help," Jack spoke.
"Let me talk to her first … I beg you please let me talk to her first."
"Rick, I know what you're thinking and I am thinking the same thing, but it can't be her it can't be them," Jack spoke, his voice thick with emotion.
"Who does he think it is?" Michonne asked, stepping up with Sasha and Tyreese.
"He's thinking it's Beth and Judith."
"After all this time, there ain't no way," Daryl spoke. "Look man, I admit I miss them as much as you do but there's been no sign of them since the prison. It's been over a month, we would have found them by now as many times as we've doubled back over there. If they were alive, we would have found them and we haven't."
"Daryl's right," Sasha began. "Besides, she's a redhead partially, Beth was blonde."
"I understand," Rick spoke, his voice now thick with emotion, "but when she saw all of you walking up, that's when she froze. I don't know if it's because we're all headed to her at once or what, but she's scared. That's why I am asking you to wait." He turned to look at them. "Even to this very day, I hold out hope that Beth and Judith survived somehow and we just haven't found them. There's a lot of places we haven't looked yet. Beth would give her life for Judith, and maybe that's what she did. We don't know though because we gave up searching and moved on." He licked his lips. "I want them to be alive because Carl's gone, I need something to hold onto."
"We understand that Rick, no one has lost more than you have," Maggie spoke and rubbed his arm. "Go on, go talk to her. We'll wait here for you. Find out if she needs anything. We can start scavenging around for something to feed her and the baby while you two talk."
"It won't be much, but we can try," Jack smiled. "Go on."
"Thank you," he spoke as he turned and started walking towards her.
Running his hand over his face, he started walking slowly back towards her. His heart seemed to skip the closer he got. He watched her as she stood there, then suddenly … she began to back away. Had his movements scared her in some way? Was she afraid he would take her child? Her reddish-blonde hair danced around her head, that reminded him she wasn't Beth. He pushed the idea and vision of Lori out of his mind.
"It's all right sweetheart, you don't have anything to be worried about." He tried to calm her with his words, so he stopped walking. "We just want to help you and your baby. I don't know why the Governor, or Ethan, left you with us but he did. Would you like some food for you and your baby?" She shook her head 'no' several times. "Okay. Was he good to you?" She nodded 'yes' as she reached her hand up to wipe tears from her eyes. "Don't be scared, it's not that bad. We're a group, we've been on the road for some time together now. All these people behind me are good and decent people." He stopped and placed his hands on his hips. "Forgive me, my name is Rick and I wish I knew yours."
She stared at him as she moved a bit closer. From a distance, he thought she was smiling at him. Lori's presence returned to be next to him. "Sweetheart, it is her … it is Beth and that is Judith in her arms. Take away the blocks from your heart and feel that. You've blocked off so much since I died and even more with Carl now gone. Deep down, I know you can tell it's Judith, all you have to do is open up."
Tears began to run down his face again as he wiped it. Tears rolled down her own as she saw how much pain he was in. "I had a son, his name was Carl … he died almost a month ago. The place we were at was overrun with walkers, and a fire got started. He and I got separated, and when I found him, he'd already been bitten and was dying. I got him clear and tried to help him, but in the end he died. I also had a beautiful little girl about the same age as your child. Her name was Judith; she was being cared for by a young woman I held in the highest regard, and I will admit I loved. Her name was Beth, and we lost both of them as well. That older man behind me is Jack, her father; he's a wonderful and caring man, and I know he would help welcome you into our group. These people behind me will help take care of your baby too."
She knew he would welcome her into the group because he was her father; she also knew Maggie would welcome her, as would Glenn and Daryl. She knew her return-from-the-dead would only last so long with them and it would be back to business as usual. She knew Rick would be so happy and grateful to have Judith back in his life that he probably wouldn't let her go. She knew he would be happy to have her back to, and to hear him admit that he loved her would make it harder for her to let go of him. She knew Maggie and Jack wouldn't understand her feelings for him, and would try to stop them from being together. Instead of speaking, she held her hand out to him. She wanted him closer, not them. She hoped he would accept her gentle gesture.
"She's holding her hand out to you," Lori whispered softly.
He noticed her outstretched hand and took it as a sign to move closer. He walked slowly closer to her, and the closer he walked the more Lori's words hit home. Her blonde hair was being tossed about in the wind, making her appear older than her eighteen years. Her pale skin and piercing blue eyes latched hold of his eyes and held onto them. He wasn't seeing things, he wasn't imaging her standing there.
"I'm returning something you lost awhile back," Rick muttered, remembering what Ethan had told them before they left. The realization hit home finally because he opened up to the possibility. He stopped walking and fell to his knees. Holding his arms open, tears fell down his cheeks. "Come here sweetheart."
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she willed her legs to walk to him. She walked right up to him as his arms clasp around her waist. "I never thought I would hear you say that to me. It's okay now, we're home."
He buried his face against her stomach and wept aloud. Tears flowed down her face as she ran her hand through his hair. He rose to his feet with her in his arms, clinging to her gently as he looked into the face of HIS little girl.
"I thought you two were dead," he sobbed as he laid his forehead against hers.
"We would have been if Mitch hadn't found us," she cried softly. "He didn't hurt me or Judith; he cared for us, loved us, fed and clothed us. He held me and let me cry, thinking all of you were dead. He had no idea if any of you were alive when he found us."
"My sweet sweet Beth," he breathed as he leaned over and kissed her deeply.
Her arm slid around his waist, holding tight to him as their kiss deepened ever so slightly more. She let him kiss her, she wanted him to kiss her. She felt his tongue dance between her lips as it found hers. Their tongues danced and flicked around as finally she pulled her mouth from his, she laid her head against his chest and began to cry. "I never thought I would see you again, I thought you were dead."
"I know, I felt the same way," he replied, running a hand through her hair. "I have never felt so alone as I did this past month."
"It's okay, I am here now and everything will be fine. Please just don't ever let go of me again. I love you."
"It's a promise." He paused. "Did you just say you loved me?"
"Yes. I have been in love with you for a very long time."
He backed up slightly to stare at her. "They are going to be so happy to see you alive." He looked at her. "Where has all this come from?"
"I know they will be happy," she spoke, feeling the steel rise in her spine. "Rick I love them, but I love you and Judith more."
"What is it? What did he say to you?"
"He opened my eyes to what is waiting for me once they get over me not being dead," she replied, wiping her eyes. "I can't go back to that, I just can't."
"Beth, what are you talking about? They love you."
"Yea and they will do what they can to keep me safe. Rick, I survived hundreds of walkers and being burned to death in the prison. Can you imagine what it will feel like to me to go back and become the 'old' me again? They will want me to stay safe, stay behind, cook for them, do their laundry. But what happens when I want to leave and go on runs? They won't let me, they'll tell me its too dangerous and Maggie will give me that damn smirky smile of hers as she runs off with Glenn."
"That won't happen, I …"
"Won't let it happen, I know but what if they won't let you near me? What if they try and keep us apart? I can't live like that, not now not after this." She licked her lips as she stared at him. "I couldn't, and wouldn't, let go of you if my life depended on it. Being apart from each other ends now."
"Excuse me!"
"Damn it, can't you see that I love you more than anybody alive! I am not trying to replace Lori, I am fighting to keep my place in your heart so it doesn't grow cold!"
He was taken aback by her words. "Then what do you want to do?"
Reaching into her pocket, she handed him keys and looked over her shoulder. "There is baby supplies and food, clothes for me, we can get clothes for you, there's enough food and water for three months … run away with me. Let's leave all this behind and go start over."
"What?"
"Run away with me and Judith. Let's leave all this and start over, just the three of us."
He stared at her, dumbfounded at what she was proposing. "And he told you all this? How do you know that is not playing you?"
"Because Ethan was married to my mom, and my brother Shawn was his son. When dad went on one of his binders, mom sent me and Shawn to live with Ethan for a little while until things calmed down. He never met daddy, he never met Maggie, he only knew me. There is a picture in the car of the three of us, the ONLY picture of the three of us. Ethan gave it to me. He told me to live so Shawn would never be forgotten."
"And why would he do that, do all this? Is he playing some sort of game to separate us out from the others?"
"No; he told me that if I didn't get you away from all this, you would turn into him. I saw the furor, rage, anger, despair on your face. I saw that on his face too, and I don't want that for you. I don't want you to lose your soul in this world where the dead walk and the living are damned. You are a wonderful loving kind man who gives all he can to everyone else and never asks for anything. Now, I am asking for something of you … be selfish, not just for you and me but for Judith too."
He backed away from her and looked at her with shock and disbelief. "You want to abandon your family and have the three of us run away together!"
"I want us to be my new family." She held Judith closer to her. "I didn't know how much I loved you or her till I was faced with losing her. I put my life on the line for her!"
"I know you did," he spoke. "I don't think you can redeem me. There is nothing left to redeem me."
"I'm not trying to, I am trying to offer you solace and rest. I am offering you a way to escape this world, to escape all that you've been through. I am not asking you to forget them, I am asking to let me help you honor them by saving your life." She took a step closer. "Judith is your redemption, she is your answer."
He ran his hand through his hair. "And them? You can just turn your back on them that easy. You could leave Jack and Maggie."
"It won't be easy for either of us, I understand that but I am willing to give it a shot. All I need is you by my side."
"I can't, they need me."
"They don't need you, you may need them but they don't need you. Look how easy it was when you tried to step away. I know you got pulled back in, but they made it without you. You tried to give it away, to make things better for you and Carl and Judith, but this crazy thing called life got in the way."
He looked at the keys in his hand, then reached out and handed them back to her. "Go, if this is what you want then go. Take Judith and go."
"No, not without you. You stay … I stay. Besides, I am getting to be a pretty damn good shot. Your gun works great at close range, but I can't shoot it well enough yet."
He stared at her for a long moment as his eyes trailed down to the gun at her side. He ran his hand over his mouth as he knelt in front of her and placed his hand on the burned holster with the Colt Python sticking out. He brought his hand up to the belt draped around her waist, noticing the burned marks.
"I found it in the rubble, I thought you might have dropped it. I grabbed it when we were leaving. I had to use it against the walkers. There's fresh ammo in it, and there's more in the car."
He stayed knelt in front of her, running his fingers over the belt and down to the holster. He ran his hand down her leg, pausing at the hilt of the knife attached to her boot. He ran his hand back up her leg, running his hand over her waist then up under the coat and over her side. His hand came up to under her arm as he pulled it loose and ran it over her shoulder and up to her neck.
He stood as his hand gently gripped the side of her neck. He looked down into her eyes. "I thought I had lost you, I thought I had lost you both."
"I know, but we're here now we're alive and so are you."
"What about them?"
"What about them?"
"Will you tell them you're alive?"
"Yes."
"Will you tell them you're leaving?"
"Yes."
"Maggie and Jack will be hurt, more liked pissed but also hurt."
"If they can't accept I need to spread my wings, then I don't know what else to say. Like I said, I love them but I love you more." She stopped. "I am not leaving without you."
"You keep saying you love me …"
"And I do. You said you loved me."
He faltered, he had admitted his love for her. "And I do." His face brightened for a moment. "I do love you."
"Then decide for yourself, decide what you want above of what everyone else wants."
"What about you?"
"I will do whatever you decide."
"Even if it will mean being unhappy."
"Even if it means being unhappy."
"Even if it means they won't let us be together."
"Even that too."
Her words lingered in his mind, as did Lori's. He put his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "Then let's tell them you're alive."
Her heart sank. "All right." He had chosen to stay here, and that was that. Their soon-to-be-lives together was now gone. "Maybe you're right, maybe we should stay. Here." She handed Judith over to him as he cradled the baby to him.
He watched her wipe a tear from her cheek. She was disappointed, but she said she would do whatever he wanted. He looked over at Judith who broke into a big grin. "How is my beautiful girl?"
Judith bubbled in his arms and her mouth started working. "MMM….MMMAAA…Mama."
Beth looked at her and smiled. "Hey baby girl, how are you?" She wiped her eyes and smiled. "Her first word." She looked at his face. "I'm sorry, I know you wanted her to say that to Lori and I wish she could too."
"You are her mother," Rick spoke, emotion in his voice. "You are her mother in every bit of the word. You have cared for her and loved her and almost died for her. Lori would be happy." He kissed her forehead and cheeks, then abruptly consumed Beth's mouth with his own. He lifted his face from hers, his eyes smoldering with a deep hidden passion. "Let's tell them you're alive, and tell them we're leaving."
"Are you sure?"
"If you are so sure about this, then I am willing to go with you. I am willing to see where this takes us." He licked his lips. "Why do I feel like I owe Ethan an apology."
"Because you do." She wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a lingering kiss on his lips. "You won't regret this. I don't know where we will go, but we will find some place even if we have to leave the state."
He smiled as he slipped his arm around her waist. "I know I won't sorry. It will be hard to start with, but if you are able to handle this then let's do it."
Holding her close, they started walking back to where the others were standing. They had seen everything that transpired, but luckily enough were out of ear range of their conversation. As they approached the group, Maggie stepped away from Glenn and moved to Daryl's side. She clutched his hand tightly as she started shaking uncontrollably.
"BETH!" she screamed and darted away.
"Oh dear God, thank you thank you," Jack wept.
Maggie ran up to them and yanked Beth into a hug so tight she felt she may break her in half. She looked into her eyes and smiled as tears fell down her cheeks. "Oh thank God you are all right. Are you all right? Did he hurt you?"
"I'm fine Maggie," she smiled thinly.
"We need to talk," Rick spoke, "and you won't like it."
"How can I not like it! Beth is alive and so is Judith! Hey baby, how are you!" Maggie giggled as she kissed the baby girl's cheeks.
They walked back to the group as Jack came over and hugged her tightly. "Oh my sweet Beth, I am so thankful and happy to see you alive. How did you do it?"
"Like I was taught to," she spoke as she backed away from Jack. She slipped her arm around Rick and stood there by his side. "Remember uncle Jack, you taught all of us to take care of ourselves when we were younger."
"What's wrong?" Sasha asked. "Did he hurt you?"
"No, he was wonderful. Ethan helped me, he saved my life."
"Ethan … you're on a first name basis with him," Glenn scoffed. "Do you remember what he did to me and Maggie? He can't be trusted!"
"I do, but that wasn't the man I've spent the past month with."
"We'll discuss this later. Come on sweetheart and get in the car. We are going to find us a new place to live."
"Yes we are." Rick shifted Judith in his arms. "Beth and I are leaving."
"What! You can't be serious, she just got back!"
"Rick, what are you talking about? Where would you go?"
"Right now Sasha, I really don't care."
"Beth, what is he talking about?"
"Rick and I are taking Judith and we're leaving. We're going to find a place to stay and get out of this."
"But there is no place like that, we've looked. Honey, you're tired and need to rest. Please, come and get in the car."
"No uncle Jack, I can't, not this time."
"Beth, I said you were getting in the car."
"I will, and it's behind us."
"You mean that black thing?" Daryl asked. "It looks like the one we have."
"It is like the one we have, and it's loaded full of baby supplies and food and clothes."
"I can drive it for you," Glenn spoke up, "it'll give us some more room."
"It's mine, as is the stuff inside." She pulled the keys out and looked at them. "Want me to bring it over?"
"Not yet," Rick smiled. "Jack, I am sorry about this but we're leaving. Beth and I have been through so much lately that I'm at risk for losing what humanity I have left and turning into the Governor. I … I can't do this anymore. I am tired, I am worn out and I feel like I am losing my mind."
"We both are," Beth added. "We need to stop and breathe and heal."
"Jack said you were coming with us," Maggie advanced on her.
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled Andrea's gun out and pointed it at her. "I said I am leaving. Now, is this like me?"
"You would shoot me, your own sister? Over what? Some delusions the Governor put in your head?"
"Where did you get the gun?" Rick asked.
"It was Andrea's," Beth admitted.
"Andrea," Michonne whispered. "Another blonde angel."
"Beth, you are coming with us! That delusional fool has brainwashed you -"
"No delusions and he's not the Governor! He's Shawn's father!" she fumed.
Jack and Maggie stared at one another. "What did you say?"
"Ethan Blake was married to mom, he was Shawn's father. He's the man she divorced."
"Dear God," Jack breathed. "That madman who terrorized us is Shawn's father!"
"Uncle Jack, you never met him. You spoke to him on the phone a whole, what, three times and he never met Maggie so he had no idea."
Maggie was taken aback by Beth's steeled demeanor. "All right, put the gun back in your pocket."
She slipped it back inside and stared at her. "The timid little Beth died in the fire."
"Who's Shawn?" Sasha asked.
"My half-brother," Beth explained. "I am not going back to the way things were. My life has changed dramatically."
"So we noticed," Michonne chuckled. "Damn girl, I like it."
Tyreese stood there, silent for a long moment. "We've all had our share of loss. We weren't with you guys when Lori was lost, but we were there when Carl died and you thought both of these ladies were gone. We know that kind of pain. I wish we could all take the chance you two are about to and lay it all down."
"How much gas you got?" Daryl asked.
"A full tank, there's a gas station about three miles down where the pumps still work if you need some."
"And you have enough food and water for how long?" Sasha asked.
"About three months give or take. There's enough for Judith for a good six months."
"And you're both sure about this?" Tyreese asked.
"Yes," Rick answered.
Tyreese extended his hand to Rick. "It was a pleasure meeting you."
Rick took his offered hand and gripped it. "The same for you."
"You two be careful and take good care of her," Sasha smiled as she hugged Beth then Rick. "She is so precious."
"That she is," Rick smiled, "they both are."
"Good luck," Michonne smiled as she hugged them both.
"Thank you," Beth smiled and hugged her.
"Well damn," Daryl finally spoke. He walked over and hugged Beth, kissing her cheek. He walked over to Rick and embraced him and kissed Judith. "And here I thought I would be the first to leave."
"You really are leaving?" Glenn asked.
"We are."
He walked over and hugged Beth tightly then embraced Rick. He placed a kiss on Judith as he backed up. He took Maggie by the hand and gripped it. "Let's go, we need to get on the road and so do they."
"So we're letting them go?" Maggie asked as everyone started walking away.
"We are," Daryl spoke as he climbed onto the motorcycle.
"Mama! Mama!" Judith giggled as she wiggled her arms to Beth.
"I'm here baby girl," Beth grinned and rubbed noses with Judith.
Placing her hands on Beth's face, Judith gave her a quick smack on the nose. Tears rolled down Rick's face as he smiled. "She is definitely a mama's girl."
"She will be a daddy's girl when she gets older," Beth smiled and hugged him.
"Oh sweetheart," Jack spoke as he walked over. He hugged her as tears fell from his eyes. "I am so glad you are alive and so very proud of the woman you are becoming. It sets my heart free to see you are going to be a beautiful mother. Your father would be proud."
"I love you too," she replied as tears rolled down her cheeks.
He reached his hand out to Rick; they gripped one another's hands as Jack hugged him. "Look after these two precious ladies." He paused. "I am happy to call Glenn my son-in-law, and I am also happy to call you that too my friend."
"Thank you Jack, that means a lot."
"Maybe now, you can get the rest you deserve." He turned and patted Maggie on the shoulder as he limped to the car and sat in the front seat with Sasha. He closed the door and waved to them.
"Come on Maggie," Glenn spoke softly.
She stared at Beth as the wind whipped around them. She walked straight to her and flung her arms tightly around her neck. They clung to one another tightly before letting go. Maggie turned and flung her arms around Rick's neck and hugged him. She kissed his cheek, ran her hand over his face then leaned over and kissed Judith.
"I'm not saying goodbye," Maggie spoke with tears in her eyes as she walked to the car. "Wanna know why?"
"Why?" Beth laughed as she wiped tears away.
"Because I know I will see you again!"
"Count on it!"
Maggie climbed into the car as Glenn cranked the engine. The convoy pulled out with Daryl in the lead, vanishing into the darkness. Taking her hand, they started walking to the car.
"Want me to drive?"
"No, let me till I get tired. Why don't you sleep for once?"
"Okay."
They turned to see Sasha's car come pulling back up to them. She climbed out, popped the trunk and pulled two bags out. Walking over, she set them down in front of him. "You about forgot something."
"Thanks," he chuckled. "I didn't even realize."
"Yea well, Jack made some obscene comment I refuse to repeat," Sasha chuckled. She walked over, climbed back in and sped back into the darkness to catch back up.
Leaning over, Beth picked his gear up as they walked to the car. "Want to stop and refresh your wardrobe?"
"I like the sounds of that," he smiled. He paused, tilting his head as he looked out in the darkness. "Are they gone, are all of them really gone?"
"Yea, it's just me and you," she spoke as she took his hand. "Is that okay with you?"
"Yea, it's just strange is all. I a so used to somebody calling my name for something, and it was always someone different. Now the only people that need me are you and Judith," he commented. He noticed her new coat and the new outfit Judith had on. "So, where in the world did he take you to get all this stuff?"
"Some place we missed because there was a herd milling in the parking lot. Ethan and them went in with guns blazing and made it inside the building. They cleaned out the building and set up camp inside. The cars around the building belong to their convoy, the outer parking lot is where he picked this up."
"We should have told Daryl and them about it," Rick mentioned as he leaned in and settled Judith into her car seat.
"It's where Ethan and them live now. He's giving us two hours to get you some clothes before they get back," Beth spoke as she looked at him.
"Maybe we should get going then."
"Maybe we should."
He sat in the passenger seat and pulled the seatbelt around him. Beth cranked the engine, allowing it to idle as she leaned over and placed a lingering kiss on his lips. "You ready?"
"Let's do this."
From the backseat, they heard Judith giggle her approval. "That says it all." Smiling, she put the car in the drive as they pulled out of the lot and headed down the road.
Pulling around back of the store, she backed the car up the storage ramp as Rick pulled the gate down. Pulling the parking brake, she climbed out and popped the trunk. "Is there anything more we need than what we have?" Reaching in, she pulled Judith out and kissed her cheek. "I can't remember if he put camping gear in here."
"He didn't but damn, do we even need it? Look at all this stuff."
Reaching in she grabbed something pink and pulled it free. Flicking her wrist, the pole became a mini stroller. Kneeling down, she strapped Judith into it and snuggled the doll in with her. "When she would get fussy, the only way to get her to go to sleep was to strap her into the stroller and walk her around."
"Are we getting normal enough to use a stroller?" He pushed the trunk lid down as he looked at her.
"I know it's strange, but what can I say."
He placed his hands on the handles as he started to push her. "This even feels normal."
"Rick, I did something while I was here."
"What?" He pushed the doors opened as they stepped into the darkened store.
"I took a pregnancy test. It came back negative."
"That's good, isn't it?"
"Yea well, I was sort of hoping but it may be for the best now."
He stopped in the aisle to stare at her. "You took a pregnancy test and it came back negative. When?"
"While I was here with Ethan."
"Was there a doubt that you might be?"
"Remember my birthday?"
He paused, thinking back on that day. He had taken her to the housing development, the rain had started, they kissed and then they found a bed. A grin crept across his face as he looked at her, which in turn caused her to blush brightly. "Oh I remember quite fondly. What I remember is that you are a bit of a wildcat when you get turned on the right way and touched in certain places. I also remember how you liked being pinned down."
"And you can do it multiple times without getting tired," she reminded him. "You also liked it when I was on top that time too."
"Oh I know," he smiled. He snaked his arm around her waist and kissed her on the neck then on the lips. "You might want to stock on those types of things for later on."
"I already have," she smiled, "and a few other things we might need for that."
"What? Rubbers?"
"No, more like fertility tests to see when it will be the best time and other things that…" He put his hand over the book she was looking at. She turned to look at him. "It's just that sometimes I wonder if I can."
"We will let nature deal with it every time we do it," he grinned and kissed her. "Toss the other and keep the tests only, you don't need that junk."
"Okay." She walked over and began rummaging through the music. "Want some for the road? Is there anything you prefer?"
"Don't care." He settled Judith beside a pole as he walked over to the men's section and started browsing. "It would help if I had a bag or something to load up on."
"Look under the table on your left." He knelt down and pulled three duffel bags out. "I put them under there, planning on filling them up for you but they decided to leave before I could."
He smiled at her as he unzipped them. "I think I will burn most of my stuff."
"Except for that brown jacket and black shirt."
"Except for them then."
She turned to watch him picking through the racks. She smiled as she leaned over to look at Judith who beamed at her. She giggled as she nibbled on a cookie. "Will you watch her, I am going over to camping."
Picking a bag up, he tossed it to her. "That might help. If they have any tents, grab one … if not, grab at least sleeping bags or inflatable mattresses."
"This isn't my first rodeo," she chided him, "but thank you for reminding me."
"Hey, see if they have any rope," he chuckled as she blushed before walking off. He looked over at Judith who was grinning. "Momma embarrasses easy." Judith began laughing then shoved the cookie back in her mouth. "You know what that means, yea it means that daddy can pick on mommy all the time now."
"Mama mama mama," Judith jabbered.
"What about mama mama?" Beth asked, walking up. "There was no camping gear left, but I think the stock room might have some stuff."
"Hehehehe," Judith giggled. "Mama mama dada dada dada."
Rick and Beth stared down at the little girl then at one another. Judith giggled and crammed the cookie back in her mouth.
Picking the bag up, he loaded it into the back of the car as she came rolling into the loading dock. "Here's the rest of the baby food and diapers; I grabbed the rest of the wipes too."
"Good plan," he smiled as he helped her load. "After I finished getting my stuff, I started looking around a little to see what else we could get. I got you something."
"What?" she asked.
Holding the box out to her, she opened it to reveal a sterling necklace with an angel hanging from it. A tear fell down her cheek as he clasp it around her neck. "An angel for my angel."
"It's beautiful," she smiled and kissed him.
"There's something else," he spoke as he lifted her hand in his.
"What happened to your wedding ring? Did you lose it? Please don't tell me you got rid of it here. That is your ring and no one else's."
"No, I left it with Carl so he could keep it safe." He knelt to one knee. "I was wondering if I could give you this and ask you to be my wife. Your father has already given his permission, all we need is a minister."
He opened the box and reveal a thin petite silver band. He slid it over her finger as he reached into his pocket and pulled a silver band out. He rose and handed it to her. She took it in her trembling fingers and slid it down his finger, covering the impression left by the old one. Sliding her arms around him, she clung to him for several moments before kissing him on the lips.
"So, what do you say Mr. Grimes, should be we blow this pup stand?"
"I think Mrs. Grimes, that would be an excellent idea."
They kissed deeply before separating; shutting the trunk, Rick moved around to open the gate as it began to rise on its own. He backed up and stood beside Beth as Mitch and Carol stepped in from the other side. Ethan stood by the entrance with a smile on his face. "I told you they would be here, but you didn't believe me."
"You two heading out?" Mitch asked.
"Yea, we were just leaving."
"Did you get enough stuff?" Carol asked.
"We took only what we needed," Rick commented.
"Oh, we had no worries about that," Philip spoke as he stepped inside. "Should we be expecting Daryl and the others?"
"Only by accident because we didn't tell them," Rick admitted.
"Groves! Leave the gate open, they were just about to leave," Ethan spoke, sounding as cocky as ever.
"One of these days," Beth growled, "what happens when you run into something that is bigger and badder than you are?"
"Then it will be my redemption," he spoke as he placed a quick kiss on her cheek.
Sliding into the car, Beth shook her head as she cranked the engine; releasing the park brake, they rolled out the back gate as Groves pulled it closed behind them.
"That was interesting," Rick commented as he fastened his seatbelt. "He has and hasn't changed. That will be a dangerous combination later on."
"He can be an arrogant ass," Beth replied as she fastened her belt and gripped his hand. "Close your eyes and get some rest. I'll wake you when it's time or we run into something."
Nodding his head silently, he leaned back in the seat as his eyes drooped shut. "Don't know why I am so sleepy all of a sudden."
"You're not under any stress so you are relaxing," she smiled as she gazed into the rearview mirror. Judith's head was leaned over as she fell asleep clutching her new doll.
"Thinking it might be all the tranquilizers your dad was pumping into me too," he drawled sleepily.
Opening his groggy eyes, he looked over to see her still in the driver's seat. He yawned and stretched as he sat up. The sun was high in the sky, close to mid-afternoon from the looks of it. "How long was I out?"
"Almost ten hours. You missed the stop for gas."
"You should have woke me."
"Nah, you needed the sleep."
"Where are we?"
"Just driving down the road. I've stayed off the interstates, knowing they would be clogged with stalled cars. I know we're not in Georgia anymore, but other than that I have no idea."
"Want me to drive?"
"Nah, not yet. I am enjoying it actually. Go back to sleep, you've earned it."
"Where are we headed?"
"No place, any place, just some place."
He smiled at her. "I like the sounds of that. How is she?"
"Been asleep for the past hour." She looked in the rearview to check on the baby. "She's still sound asleep. Want some music?"
"Sure."
Reaching over, she turned the knob as music filled the car. "It's one of the CDs I snagged when we stopped for your new wardrobe."
He leaned his head back as the calm dulcet country words flowed from the speakers. His eyes got heavy as he yawned a second time before surrendering to sleep.
I can't live without, I can't live without you bay oh baby, Highway don't care, highway don't care but I do I do, Highway don't know you're alive but I do I do
She yawned and stretched as she looked over at him. "Want me to take over?"
"No, you're good," he smiled as he turned the music down. "I never did thank you for grabbing the CDs. I know I didn't seemed to thrilled with it, but it makes this trip bearable."
"Where are we?" she asked, sitting up straighter.
"Somewhere between St Louis and Kansas City. Already stopped and filled the tank up."
"You changed the way we were going?"
"The road was blocked by walkers, and I didn't feel like fighting them so I could only turn one direction. We're on I-80 heading west."
"Why west?"
"Well, I did it to get around the walkers. I was going to double back after we left Tennessee, but when I got to the Kentucky line I stopped. I wanted to head that, but something told me to keep on I-80." He reached over and gripped her hand. "At 700p, there is a radio broadcast of a survivor camp in Anchorage."
"In Alaska?"
"Yea, they give out directions for whatever route you're on. There's no way they would take the time to tell people how to get there. We took a minor deviation, but we are on the route to get us there. We're heading to Alaska and to safety. We're leaving."
Leaning her head over, she kissed his cheek as they continued driving. "I never thought of getting that far out of the way."
"Is that all right though?"
"It's perfect … so long as it's legit."
"I know, I feel the same way."