Note: This update took way too long. My computer had some technical difficulties, so I couldn't get on for a while. And I'm glad that you all aren't annoyed with me for making this longer!

Chapter Six: Holy Fish

I woke up with a yawn, rubbing my eyes to see my alarm clock hadn't gone off in time. It was eight o' clock! That meant my whole schedule was messed up! Immediately I could tell it was going to be one of those days that would drive me insane.

I arose sleepily from the bed and headed over to my vanity, and looking into the mirror—I froze. In its reflection, there was a head of purple.

"Not a morning person, are we?" Jamie quipped with a smirk.

"Holy fish!" I screamed, turning around. "How did you get in here?!?"

"Your husband invited me," the farmer retorted. "Ugh, now I can see why you wear pigtails," he commented, looking at my tousled bed-head with disgust. I blushed in furious embarrassment.

"Why, you—!"

"Harley? You up, baby?" Ray called from the doorway.

"RAY! What on earth is he doing here?" I demanded, gesturing to Jamie.

"Jamie?" Ray beamed. "He's helping me organize the baby shower. We've decided on a theme."

"Under the Sea," Jamie explained, glancing at me with evil glee. "Isn't it perfect?"

Ignoring him, I turned again to Ray.

"Why didn't you wake me up before he came over?" I hissed.

"You've been working so hard, honey, I just thought you could use some rest," Ray informed me with a sincere smile.

"Since you're having a baby and all," Jamie added, putting extra emphasis on the word.

"I know! Isn't it wonderful?" Ray exclaimed.

"Hey! Back to me!" I interrupted. "Can you make him leave?"

"Oh, I don't mind leaving at all," Jamie assured me. "And I hope you enjoy motherhood, Harley. It's a shame what giving birth will do to your figure, though… Well, I suppose life can't be perfect. And it's not like you have much of a figure anyway, is it? Bye, Ray, Mrs. Ray. See you Sunday." And with a curt nod, he left, my mouth hanging out in shock.

"Yeah, he'd better run!" I yelled, locking the door angrily. " 'It's not like you have much of a figure anyway, is it?' Well, excuse me for being a little chubby!"

"Don't take it so hard, honey," Ray comforted me. "Jamie just has a blunt way of putting things. He's been real nice about this baby shower, hasn't he?"

"Nice? You think he's being nice?" I accused. "He's about as nice as a raging pit-bull!"

"Well, actually…I was thinking he could be the baby's godfather," Ray admitted weakly.

"Are you out of your fishing MIND?!?" I shouted, Ray staring at me in confusion. "No way is Jamie going to be the godfather. I was thinking…Ellen could be his godparent. Or Ann. Heck, even Woody! But definitely not Jamie. NO, not Jamie."

"Well, if it bothers you that much, then I suppose we'll choose someone else. Ellen's a good godmother, I suppose. I'm sorry, honey. I had no idea," he apologized with a red face. I thought darkly about the baby shower.

This marriage to Ray was getting completely out of hand. I mean, I expected children, but not so soon! Had I panicked too soon about marriage? No, wait! Maybe this was part of pregnancy. Maybe it made you freak out often. But that didn't explain why I decided to marry Ray… ARGH! It was all so confusing!

"Harley? Can I ask you something?" Ray wondered aloud.

I nodded. "Shoot."

"Why DON'T you like Jamie?" he questioned me. "I mean, we are married, we should be able to share secrets, right?"

"Hm…" I rolled my eyes. "You really want to know?"

"Yes, I do. A lot."

"Well, Jamie kind of, he didn't…" I sighed. I didn't really want to tell him, yet part of me did. But my past was something Ray didn't know about me, and if I told him some of it, I would be giving more of myself to him. Still, we were married, like it or not, and he was right.

"Basically, Jamie is my ex-boyfriend," I admitted.

Ray's face went completely pale.

"I thought Dan was your ex-boyfriend—"

"Can't a girl have more than one ex?" I interrupted. "It was in college, anyway. My first year. You wouldn't expect a guy could hold a grudge for so long—"

"Why would he hold a grudge?" Ray accused me, crossing his arms.

"Because I broke up with him," I stated, facing the wall. "I…kind of realized he didn't really love me. It was all just a game to him, and I was something to relieve his boredom with. But that wasn't the only reason. I mean, he was annoying, we were complete opposites, and every five seconds he was making fun of someone. Which was usually me."

"But opposites attract, right?" Ray insisted.

"He called me fat, Ray. And he teased me about my pigtails. And my clothes. And my grades. Like, all the time. My self-esteem meter was plummeting," I explained with a groan. "Happy now?"

"What did Jamie major in?" Ray inquired.

I paused.

"I think it was…Accounting. I'm not totally sure, though…"

There was a long, blank stare from Ray.

"What?" I demanded.

"Accounting? Why? He's a farmer."

"Maybe he wants to understand how to do his own tax returns…how the heck should I know why?" I snapped.

And with that, the conversation about my ex-boyfriend and I ceased. But I noticed that Ray started acting a little kinder to me after that about the baby shower, saying, "But that thing with you and Jamie is all in the past. I'm sure he just wants to be friends."

Of course, Ray's optimism was a far cry from the truth.

Jamie wasn't over our break-up; his pride had been damaged, and he was intent on getting even. My marriage to Ray was an ideal weakness to torment me with, and he knew it. It seemed like he and I were the only ones who understood what was really going on under all the false smiles: a battle of revenge and a battle for sanity (mine being the latter).

I tried to explain that to my husband. Of course, he said I was over-reacting. And maybe I was. But I doubted it.