The Ebonics translation of this Fanfiction, aka pimp talk.

Yo Outside da city o' London, in da midst o' uh forest, stood uh grand mansion dat wuz da Phantomhive estate. Da butler o' dis here estate, Sebastian Michaelis, wuz currently walking through da halls pushing uh cart dat contained his master's breakfast. Upon entering Ciel's room da butler stood an' watched him fo' uh moment, 'da young master looked so motha fuckin peaceful when he sleeps', Sebastian thought.

He walked ova ta da heavy curtains ta open dem an' allow da morning's sunlight ta grace his young master's face when uh sound behind him caused da butler ta stop moving.

It wuz somewhere between uh growl an' uh guttural meow, an' he turned his head around ta peep at da wooden do' leading into his master's quarters. Da sound o' claws on wood came from outside da do', an' da growling/somethin` dying sound came ag'in.

Sebastian opened da do' an' seen nuttin', but heard da sweetest meow he had ever heard. da sound came ag'in an' da air around him shook wif da sweet sound waves which his demonic eardrums registered an' un-whitey-fied ta his brain. He looked down ta see uh mass o' black an' whitey, quite uh large mass at dat.

Da cat wuz lying down, but so fat dat it's short stubby legs disappeared underneaf it's pancake-like body. He bent down ta pet da cat like he would any other feline (as Sebastian wuz infatuated wif every cat in dis here world). However, when he did, dis here fat animal hissed an' swatted an angry paw at him.

"Playing hard ta git now is we's?" he asked seductively, ta da damn cat.

Da cat just stared at him through narrowed peeps. He left said kitty ta wake his master an' promptly gots da young earl dressed. Mainly cuz Ciel (da earl) wuz too mad stupid an' lazy ta do it himself. da young master wuz groggy an' pissed as Sebastian buttoned on da Earl's whitey dress shirt.

Da cat approached, curious, an' meowed it's deathly ugly yet cute meow an' pressed it's chubby body against da demons tailcoat. Ciel noticed.

"Dear god, what iz dat damned sound?" he whined, lifting his hands ta cover his ears.

Sebastian smiled an' totally ignored da young master as he turned back ta da cat. "So, you finally relinquish yo'self ta me, iz dat it?"

"Sebastian, you sound like you fighting war wif..." da young master's blue peeps gazed downward which lay ta rest on uh pancake. His brow twitched wif anger. "Sebastian, what bidness do dis here black an' whitey pancake gots wif muh motha fuckin chamber?"

Da "pancake" then proceeded ta grow legs an' move. Let's just say, da young master flipped sheeit.

"WHAT da HELL iz dat THin`?" da cat hissed as Sebastian tried ta yet ag'in pet da damned creature, ta which he did not succeed. Sebastian, defeated, turned back ta da boy an' composed himself back ta his usual professionalism.

"It be uh creature known as uh 'cat', nigga."

"Do you think ah'm retarded? ah be aware o' dat obvious fact! muh motha fuckin queshun iz why dat thin` iz in muh motha fuckin manor, much less muh motha fuckin bedroom!"

Fo' once, Sebastian didn't gots uh legitimate answer an' remained silent as he simply stared at da master.

"Ah asked you uh queshun, servant!" Ciel snapped angrily.

Sebastian shook his head, "Ah simply don' know. But when ah entered yo' chambers ta serve breakfast, ah heard uh pleasant meow sound outside da do'." he grinned evilly, "Seeing as da young master iz most gracious, an' da poor creature seems lost an' hungr-"

"Ah don' care 'boutthe damned things problems." Ciel cut him off, "Git it out now."

Without uh second thought Sebastian bowed, "muh motha fuckin apologies nigga, ah will see ta its disposal right away."

"You sho as hell bettah."

As Sebastian exited da room wif said cat, he could hear Ciel mutter "Hungry? Ha, dat thin` iz going ta contract diabetes wif da way it's looking."

Little prick don' gots uh soul at all don' he? Sebastian thought as he carried da plump piece o' fur underneaf da paws so its claws wouldn't reach his gloriously phat demon face. Ah'm not even sho if ah wants ta eat it now...

Da cat's ears twitched an' its tail waggled playfully as it wuz carried, brushing against da demon's chest.

It's so precious! He squealed inwardly, wanting so badly ta hug da cat wif all his might.

At dat moment he heard uh giant crash came followed by Mey-Rin's flustered scream. He approached da room where he wuz met wif da view o' da clumsy beotch scrambled on da floor attempting ta pick up at least five broken dishes, in da process cutting herself on da sharp glass. Da blood ran freely from her hand an' she yet ag'in, flustered, attempted ta stop it by running out o' da room ta wash it down. It didn't he`p dat Sebastian wuz standing in da doorway observing da scene wif uh cute feline.

Let's just say, dis here beotch iz on da verge o' collapsing from major blood loss.

S-Sebastian wif uh cat!? She literally had uh nose bleed ta compliment her bloodied hand from da complete an' utter cuteness o' da scene she wuz met wif. Sebastian considered helping da maid, but then da precious cat in his arms meowed once mo' an' he instantly forgot da dying beotch on da floor. Instead, he carried da pancake resembling animal ta his room. Once havin` entered da room he set da cat down on da bed, an' wuz confident dat da creature wouldn't attempt ta jump down an' run away. If she jumps from dat height her legs will break an' ah doubt da thin` can even run. His suspicions wuz confirmed when da animal 'waddled' around da edges o' da hard mattress, looking ova da edge as if wishing fo' uh ramp ta appear.

While da cat go 'bout being cute, he opened da wardrobe in his room ta release da many cats he had stored in dere. da abused animals had uh chance ta stretch they taught limbs (as dere wuz well ova 15 cats in dere, dey mus' gots been piled up on top o' each other), he had been concerned fo' they healf but dat's why dere wuz now uh secret compartment in da back...

As soon as he opened da do' an' wuz confident dat all o' dem had been released, he turned ta see an interesting spectacle.

On top o' his pillow (an' taking up da whole space) wuz da fat cat. Sitting on da rest o' da bed wuz da other cats, all lined up an' paying attention ta da queen 'bfoe dem, as if she wuz jivin'. One cat in da front row meowed somethin` very softly an' da fat one smacked it upside da head so hard its neck snapped an' it died.

Da way da fat cat ignored da event as soon as it happened made him think o' her not as uh queen, but as uh dainty princess. Consistently able ta overlook any wrongdoing as if it wuz someone else's fault.

"Princess?" he asked da cat. She looked ova ta him an' da others took dis here chance ta run back ta da safety o' da wardrobe.

Da demon an' da cat stared at one another fo' uh long tyme. Sebastian felt somethin` odd forming in his mind, it wasn't da usual infatuation he had wif normal cats, an' dis here wuz different. While he kept gazing into her bright jade peeps dat blinked lazily once or twice.

His attention wuz torn from here when da entire mansion shook violently.

Wif Princess in his arms Sebastian sprinted across da manor ta da kitchen ready ta beat da sheeit out o' Bard fo' ruining his moment wif da cat. She seemed perfectly content ta let him carry her everywhere.

Upon arriving ta his destination he wuz shocked ta find da room perfectly fine. da cook wuz leaning ova da oven wif his cigarette in one hand an' uh stick o' dynamite in da other, ready ta light da fuse. da butler snatched da dynamite out o' his coworker's hands an' quickly returned his free hand under da cat 'bfoe it fell from his grasp.

"Oi Sebastian what da hell did you do dat fo'?! ah wuz going ta make da young master lunch!" da dirty blonde chef complained.

Sebastian gave him uh deaf glare, which shut him up effectively 'bfoe replying. "Ah doubt yo' inferior brain will ever realize dat dynamite ain't used fo' cooking." He mumbled ta himself mainly, though Bard defiantly heard an' stood fuming. "However dere is mo' pressing matters at hand, did you not feel da manor shake?" he asked angrily.

"Well yeah but ah thought dat wuz you." he said, now concerned. It wuz then dat he noticed what da butler wuz carrying. da chef's face contorted into pure an' utter confusion.

Looks like he's trying ta take uh sheeit. Sebastian thought happily.

"Da fuq? iz dat uh cat!" he asked when Princess raised her head ta acknowledge him. "Did you sheeit it wif motha fuckin marshmallows what da hell happened?!"

"Ah doubt she appreciates yo' comments." Sebastian asked, eyebrow twitching as he lost his tight.

"Well sheeit ah've never seen anythin` dat big. ah thought da young master wuz allergic ta cats." he said while raising uh hand ta pet da feline.

She watched it come into range an' smok'd her neck forward from its recoiled position, biting Bard an' drawing uh surprising amount o' blood.

Uh very feminine sneeze came from behind dem an' da demon go rigid.

"Sebastian..." his master's voice came from da doorway. da butler turned ta face his fate.

"Yeea , muh motha fuckin lord?" he gave da child uh cat-like smile.

"What, da fuq, did ah tell you?" he said 'bfoe sneezing ag'in.

"Ah believe you asked me ta remove da cat from da manor nigga." he felt da shota's temper flare.

"THEN WHY da HELL iz IT- *Achoo*- STILL HERE?!" he screamed in uh fit o' rage. Bard took dis here distraction ta leave da room through da do' dat lead outside, but paused in da doorway, unsure if he should take another step.

"Um, Sebastian..."

Da blonde wuz ignored. "Muh motha fuckin apologies nigga," He attempted ta bow an' place uh hand ova his heart, but da cat gots in da way. Da demon opted fo' placing one o' da cat's fore paws ova its own heart an' tilting it forward so it bowed. However bof they faces remained as serious as can be.

Ciel wuz 'boutto reply but shut his mouf when da mansion shook once mo' an' dis here tyme it brought him ta his knees. He looked ova ta uh screaming Bardroy ta see his blonde servant scrambling back inside an' slamming da do' 'bfoe leaning against it panting.

Once righted he spoke. "Sebastian what wuz dat?!" his earl demeanor faltered an' uh frightened child wuz left. da demon looked out da window ta see da sky had become an ominous black wif streaks o' red lightning flashing every now an' then.

Sebastian walked outside wif Princess in his arms an' wuz greeted wif an unfriendly sight.

Three large wolves nearly twice da size o' Pluto stood where da forest met da garden, uh long ways off. Dey had long black fur dat wuz matted wif crimson blood an' burning peeps o' da same red. Patches o' skin wuz missing from several places along they bodies, an' nahh flesh wuz underneaf. Instead dere wuz only bone an' uh red ball dull light dat grew stronger an' faded, nestled where da heart would be. Da skeletal wolves stood crouched down uh bit, lips (those who had lips anyway) curled back ta reveal teef glistening wif fresh blood.

Dey wuz in uh triangle like formation, tails an' hackles raised an' poised ta charge. Da largest wolf wuz in da center an' on its back an' clad in black sat uh nigga. Claude Faustus.

"So ta what do ah owe da pleasure o' Spiderman gracing dis here estate?" Sebastian smiled, yelling across da garden so da other could hear. Princess's fangs wuz bared, growling even mo' angrily than usual at da sight o' da wolves an' demon while Ciel stood in da doorway watching.

Claude adjusted his glasses, an' calmly replied, "Dere iz nahh need ta explain muh motha fuckin actions. Muh reasons is... personal." Sebastian could gots sworn he seen da nigga's upper lip quiver ever so slightly as he said da werd.

Uh devilish smile crossed Sebastian's face. "Could dis here gots anythin` ta do wif William?"

Claude now possessed noticeable tears welling in his usual cold, uncaring peeps. "You left motha an' me ta go off on yo' own agenda!" he screamed. "She couldn't afford ta support bof o' us wif her usual motha fuckin job! So she had ta git uh separate motha fuckin job as... awww god it twists muh motha fuckin heart ta say it..."

"Uh prostitute, correct?"

Dis here caused Claude ta snap, "She did what she had ta do! ah mean what wuz we's supposed ta do? ah wuz only uh child!" da tears ran freely now, Claude's face filled wif all kinds o' bottled up emotion, now released.

What da fuq be ah watching? Ciel thought.

"Ah yeea , 'Willis' ah think it wuz. Da beotch always wuz uh beeotch. an' ah left cuz she had uh drinking problem." Sebastian shrugged, "Well, just peep at her now. Or should ah say 'him', now. She's come uh long way since then an' she mus' gots made pimp-tight money wif dat motha fuckin job ta git uh sex-change."

Sebastian's uh father!? Ciel stood dere wide-eyed an' his mouf gaping but then he regained his senses. Not dat ah should be surprised, Sebastian could prob'ly git uh beotch pregnant by just speaking, much less staring at dem.

"She couldn't take da pressure o' raising me by herself. She thought dat since ah didn't gots uh father, it would be hard fo' me ta be raised by just her. So, fo' me, she had uh sex change ta show me what havin` uh REAL FATHER wuz like." He paused "ah remember da day, da day afta she had her sex-change. She wuz still unsure 'boutour way o' income. So, she kept wif dat 'side motha fuckin job.' She didn't realize dat she still looked outwardly like uh beotch, an' it never crossed her mind not ta keep pleasing da nigga customers." Claude had reached da point when you crying so intensely dat you gots ta choke out da werdz, "uh d-fucked-up nigga wasn't pleased an' she wuz beaten ta deaf wif his bottle. When she died she mus' gots turned into uh grim reaper, somehow."

"Well, SON, you mus' simply learn ta suck it up." Sebastian replied indifferently. "Mommy's alive correct? Why don' you pay her uh visit?"

"You sho as hell know ah can't do dat." Claude had managed ta wipe away most o' his tears an' returned ta his usual stiff-ass personality. "Since you changed yo' appearance, motha iz oblivious ta da fact. ah only know cuz o' our demon senses. Ah can SMELL da scum you hold from leaving motha." He adjusted his glasses fo' da second tyme, "If you trying antagonize me, ah can assure you it won't werk."

It seems like it already has, Sebastian thought.

"But, enough o' trivial memories," he pet da wolf he wuz on causing it ta howl eagerly, "ah've come ta do battle."

Accepting da challenge, Sebastian carefully put down da cat, realizing he couldn't do epic battle wif uh giant thin` blocking his face an' usin` up bof o' his hands.

He reached down timidly ta pet da creature, but wuz surprised when da cat showed nahh signs o' struggle an' stroked her ears gently, "You just watch muh motha fuckin fine Princess, ah'll smoke his ass."

"Um, Sebastian ah'm right here!" Ciel yelled from behind da two.

Da feline then reached uh paw out an' touched da demons trousers. It wuz as if da Princess wuz giving her knight uh blessing fo' battle. Realizing dis here, Sebastian chuckled an' gave another one o' his seductive smiles an' stood up, still facing da creature; an' bowed. "It iz muh motha fuckin honor."

"Bloody hell, pay attention ta me you prick!" Ciel wuz fuming.

Da ominous clouds an' bolts o' lightning off in da distance behind Claude added ta da sheer epicness o' da battle ta take place. Wif da storm coming, da wind picked up an' caused Sebastian's fine black fro ta whip at his face; his red peeps narrowed an' staring threateningly at da spider dat needed ta be squashed. Claude still sat on da back o' da large wolf (just imagine Claude on uh wolf, it's BADASS) da lightning flickered an' reflected itself on his glasses causing uh whitey sheen ta cover his golden peeps at times. da wolves wuz restless; many kept moving in place an' most had saliva an' blood running from they bared fangs.

"Sebastian! Enough o' dis here nonsense!" Ciel removed his eye patch revealing da contract mark, "Dis here iz an order, remove dis here pest from muh motha fuckin grounds at once!" It shined its bright purple glow.

Sebastian's peeps glowed they fuchsia hue in response an' he removed his gloves wif his mouf, letting dem fall lazily ta da floor. He let his hand lay ta rest ova his heart, "Yeea, mah nigga."

Claude yelled across da field, "Is you just going ta stand dere? Being da gentleman dat ah be, ah'll allow muh motha fuckin opponent ta make da first move." One o' wolves took uh step forward, snarling towards Sebastian an' Claude promptly smacked it on da head an' scolded it. "Ah'm ready anytime, anywhere."

Sebastian walked forward an' breathed seductively, "Then please," he raised bof his arms horizontally an' flexed his fingers, "come at me."

His walk suddenly turned into uh brisk charge, running in his usual ninja-like style. He nimbly slid his signature arsenal o' dishware from his waistcoat an' gripped it tightly.

Da largest wolf let out uh loud, echoing howl an' began its assault on da manor, followed suit by da other wolves.

Da largest demonic wolf which Claude wuz riding on lengthened its stride an' let out uh shrieking howl as it crossed da garden, kicking up da tan pebbles dat marked da pathways as it ran. Sebastian charged wif three butter knives in his right hand, three sharpened forks in his left, uh determined glare in his blazing red peeps.

As soon as da two gots close da wolf dug its legs into da ground ta stop short, propelling Claude up into da air. Sebastian leaped ta meet him as da other two beasts bellow flanked where he would likely land. Reaching da apex o' his jump da two collided. Sebastian threw all three knives which Claude deflected wif uh deft hand as dey came near. In return da spider demon twisted in midair ta attempt ta smoke Sebastian in his face, uh crime against da laws o' da universe itself.

Sebastian bent backwards ta avoid da perfectly polished shoe, as da two still remained in da air an' somehow defied gravity at da moment. da three forks wuz sent flying towards Claude, who failed ta stop all o' dem an' one sunk deep into his shoulder. Crimson blood sprung forf from da punctured artery, staining da immaculate silver.

As da two started ta fall punches flew an' wuz blocked, though uh few fists met they target. Closer ta da ground Claude drew in bof legs an' kicked Sebastian, sending himself backwards an' landing on da back o' his wolf. Sebastian however, wasn't as well prepared fo' his decent as da two smaller wolves had judged where he would land. But 'bfoe his feet could whack da ground one o' dem sprung forward an' grabbed his right leg, da fangs piercing his calf muscle an' earning uh yelp o' shock from da demon butler.

Da wolf swung him back an' forf, tearing da muscles in his leg while he felt venom from da monster's mouf seep into his system, da pounding o' his heart propelling it through his veins. It burned through his body an' he chose ta ignore da pain, instead focusing on forcing da jaws o' da demon wolf open. Usin` bof hands he wedged open da mouf o' da beast, freeing his leg an' falling ta da ground ungracefully.

Ciel watched from da kitchen do', wide-eyed an' shaking slightly. His butler wuz, losing? dat wuz impossible, he wuz given an order. Dere wuz nahh way he could lose, what would happen ta him iz he lost Sebastian? Who would protect him? Who'd make his chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles an' let dem constantly verbally abuse dem? Who would put they manly di...?

Da butler tried his bomb ta breaf ta speed up his healing but it wuz nahh use, bof his lungs wuz bruised an' his ribs wuz broken. He wuz going ta lose an' his son would gots his vengeance afta all deez years. da spider demon slid off his wolf, while da three demonic animals formed uh triangle around him. Claude walked towards Sebastian slowly, savoring da disheveled peep on his father's face.

"What do you wants?!" Sebastian choked out from his lying position on da ground. He tried ta sit up but his arms gave out an' he opted fo' propping himself up on his elbows. His son looked down at him wif uh sadistic smile an' he suddenly regretted leaving his former lover.

"Ah wants you ta suffer," he growled out, raising his ever present green an' blue demonic sword. "JUST LIKE motha DID!" he screamed while rollin' da sword downwards, toward its target. Sebastian closed his peeps, ready fo' da end.

But 'bfoe da turquoise blade could sink into his flesh uh flash grey flew across his vision an' jacked da sword from da pmsing Spiderman. Uh few feet away from da two demons uh beotch in whitey cotton pants an' uh loose cotton shirt o' da same color. She had two cat ears, one black an' da other whitey. Protruding from her derriere wuz uh long black an' whitey tail dat resembled uh cat's. Her emerald green peeps shone wif mirf an' determination as she twirled da large sword in her soft hands.

"Claude, right?" She asked da spider. He looked at da sword in her hands wif confusion written all ova his face. He choked on his werdz while trying ta think how she managed ta jack his sword away, she wasn't uh demon. "What, cat gots yo' tongue?"

Sebastian looked up at da beotch in awe. He loved all cats, nahh doubt. an' every now an' then he would mentally comment on uh beotch or demon who he found fine ass (though Sebastian never thought much o' such materialistic things), but now…Now he wuz clearly havin` uh mindgasm.

"P-Princess?" he stuttered while managing ta sit up almost properly. He made an attempt ta stand but his legs gave way like his arms once did an' he crashed ta da ground, his bitten leg starting ta bleed mo' profusely.

"Sit still beotch." She said affectionately. He found himself accepting da insult/complement. Princess turned towards Claude an' raised da sword. He an' da wolves gots into uh fighting stance, now recovered from they moment o' stupidity.

Claude drew uh blade from his tailcoat an' charged Princess, who held da sword horizontally an' ran towards her opponent wif uh badass battle-cry. Nearing each other Claude flipped da shank in his hand an' threw uh quick punch ta her leg while sliding ta avoid her slash o' da sword. Da punch hit an' he quickly drew da shank in da same hand along da bruised flesh.

Princess let out uh yowl o' frustration an' continued ta follow through wif da sword, turning ta face uh now standing Claude. He raced at her ag'in an' dis here tyme threw da shank at her midsection an' da dagger sunk into her. She turned in da opposite direction so her back wuz ta him 'bfoe drawing da blade out, uh rush o' scarlet blood followed. As he reached her she turned quickly ag'in an' her arm snapped out, da demonic sword catching his cheek but nahh mo'.

'Bfoe she could follow through wif his shank her arm wuz caught in da mouf o' one o' da smaller wolves. It lifted her into da air without piercing her flesh as her arm wuz in-between it's smaller teef. Da largest caught her dangling legs da same way an' tightened its grip till it hurt ta struggle against dem. Da one near her mouf panted in her face an' she gagged on da foul scent o' rotten souls, momentarily losing focus.

Da third demon wolf then caught her thrashing tail an' bit down, hard.

Princess's emerald peeps snapped open as she let out uh menacing screech dat caused da wolves ta drop her quite suddenly, pawing at they abused ears. Claude had his sword back in his hands an' wuz charging her near lifeless form, but Princess wuz faster as she stood quickly an' dove between his legs. While sliding under him she turned ova an' dragged her sharp claws through his testicles. He wuz uh nigga nahh mo'.

While uh tear fell from uh shocked Spiderman, da cat-beotch used her other clawed hand ta stop herself by dragging it into da ground. Once righted she pounced on his shoulders an' bit down wif her canines on da back o' his neck, an' rolled ova him. Claude go tumbling forward an' Princess wuz on top o' him, straddling da fiend's lap while clawing away at his face chest an' stomach.

She heard uh recovered Sebastian in da background, slashing away at da wolves wif his silverware. Without they true leader dey wuz helpless. da ground shook as each giant demonic wolf fell, bested by da butler.

Claude managed ta regain uh sense o' being-focused-once-mo'-even-though-he-just-had-his-balls-cut-offness an' shoved uh weary Princess off his lap, sadly noticing he had nahh erection cuz she wuz dere.

Standing an' facing each other once mo' da two prepared ta go at it once ag'in but da revving o' uh chainsaw distracted dem.

"Yo muh darlings~!" uh salad tossah's trill followed da chainsaw's roar an' out from da shrubbery burst uh flaming fudge packah.

"Grell?" Ciel screamed from wherever da hell he wuz standing, "What da bloody hell?!" "awww nice ta see you ta darling," Grell hissed through his shark-like teef, "Sorry but ah'm here on official bidness."

"Like hell you be." An authoritative voice sounded from behind da red-haired reaper, "All you ever seem poised on iz seeing dat." William emerged, pointing his deaf scythe hedge cutters (ah think?) at Sebastian, healed but gear still ripped an' revealing bared skin.

Claude wuz stunned, watching as William stood dere. Motha...

"Well come on Willy!" Grell whined, "ah need motivation ta git werk done!" he glanced at da fine demon, "Mmmm an' he's mo' than enough!" Grell wuz now practically havin` an orgasm from just looking at da nigga.

"Whatever." William adjusted his glances an' spoke now outwardly, "we's wuz called here due ta da large collective slaughter o' souls."

"Souls?" Princess spoke up receiving uh surprised stare from William at da very appearance o' uh cat-like beotch, "Awww you mean da ones those dogs ate?" she let da werd 'dogs' hiss longer an' her tail twitched, irritated. "Dey needed dem ta grow stronger ta fight Sebastian."

"An' just who is you?" Grell questioned, staring at Princess irritated dat such uh beotch would even fight alongside his dear Bassy, "You style iz just dreadful by da way."

Princess didn't even bother ta bare her fangs, "Whatevah you say mister transvestite, da name's Princess." She stopped an' smiled, "At least ah've been ta his bedroom."

"Why ah nev-!"

"dat's enough Sutcliff." William held out his deaf scythe ta stop Grell from attacking da cat-beotch wif his chainsaw, "we's gots mo' pressing matters." He glanced at da wolves, who had managed ta heal they wounds despite being cut down by da butler, "Our deaf scythes' is da only way ta git da motha fuckin job done."

"Jowb..." Claude whispered loudly fo' brothas ta hear from where he had been standing.

Sebastian smiled, "Awww dis here should be pimp-tight." He glanced ova ta William who had begun his assault on da undead wolves along wif Grell, blood flying along wif many cinematic records. "werd up William?"

Uh wolf had begun swinging its claw at William's face when he blocked it wif his deaf scythe,

"What iz it demon? Ah'm kind o' busy right now!" he replied irritated.

"Ah love you."

Claude's peeps darted ta Sebastian from where he knelt defeated on da ground, "You wouldn't dare."

William's face flushed wif embarrassment as he continued fighting back, "W-what da hell?!"

Mom, Claude thought, tears wuz starting ta well in his peeps ag'in. Don' fall fo' his lies!

"You know you gots uh really great side," Sebastian continued, "It's always been yo' backside." He gave uh phat wink.

Claude sobbed even mo'.

Princess whistled, "Hot damn Sebastian, gettin' dirty!"

Grell stopped suddenly when he heard Sebastian's voice, "What iz dis here feeelingggg?" He could feel da heat rising from his pants ta his face, "Ah-ah... muh motha fuckin TWO FAVORITE niggas is IN LOVE!?" He screamed in pure ecstasy, starting his little salad tosser get5 jiggy wit i wif his chainsaw still roaring in his arms.

"Be careful wif dat you foo'!" William hissed when Grell almost cut him wif his get5 jiggy wit i, "dere's still one mo' o' deez godforsaken vermin ta be dealt wif!"

Dis here just keeps getting mo' an' mo' awkward, Ciel thought, uncomfortable.

"Ah William, ah remember when we's used ta do tha nasty nasty." Sebastian spoke, reminiscing, "yeea , yo' light fingers touching me all ova, you wuz like uh hot mess when ah started li-"

"Dat's ENOUGH!" Ciel screamed, his face uh complete cherry red, "Just stop it. Right now."

Princess whooped at Sebastian's comment, "Ohhhhh sheeit! You gonna take dat Claude?"

By dis here point, Claude had curled up into uh comfort ball, sobbing silent tears an' whimpering loudly.

"Seems like he iz going take it like uh total beotch." Sebastian walked ova an' high-fived Princess' waiting hand.

Da final wolf wuz large an' hard ta take down. William an' Grell had ta werk together ta take it on.

"AH CAN'T TAKE DIS HERE ANYMOREEE!" Grell gave uh maniac laugh, smoke somehow blowing out o' his nose an' his deaf scythe roaring louder an' moving faster than usual, "Ah'm all hot an' bothered! Dere has ta be uh way ta release dis here feeling!" His large peeps darting ta da wolf, "You perfect!" da raging salad tossah charged da wolf straight on an' jumped in da air, splitting da large beast right down da middle.

Da beast fell, bested by da reaper, wif Grell standing ova it triumphantly.

"What PURE an' UTTER HELL?!" William fumed when da last wolf had fallen pointing his finger at Sebastian, "ah've concluded dat you salad tosser." He pointed ta Princess, "you just uh dirty beeotch." Finally Claude, "an' you won't stop crying! WHAT be ah NOT GETTING?"

"MOMMY!" Claude finally screamed from his ball.

"W-what?"

"Dat's right William, you uh motha." Sebastian added.

William just stood dere, shocked. "Um nahh. If it's not clear ah be most definitely uh nigga. Last tyme ah checked, ah gots uh dong."

"Haha you said dong..." William gave uh deaf glare ta Princess silencing her, "Sorry."

"Ah mean you never know Willy" Grell blushed, "It could've.. ya know... morphed."

Sebastian burst out laughing while William smacked Grell wif his hedge cutters.

"Motha" Claude's angsty confession wuz beginning, "Ah-ah've always missed you, ever since you wuz gone..."

"Ah never left!" William screamed back, but then realized what he just said, "Ah mean whoever dis here motha you jivin' 'boutisn't me!"

"Awww but you be," Sebastian smiled, "Don' 'Willis' ring any bells? Hmm honey?"

Willis? Somethin` inside William stirred, an unknown emotion or wuz it uh memory trying ta surface. Da reaper held uh hand up ta rub his agitated forehead now complete wif uh headache.

Claude had crawled ova an' wuz now kneeling defeated in front o' his unknowing motha, he wrapped his arms around da nigga's pant leg; his tears stained da fabric wet.

William knew his first impulse would be ta smoke da demon away, but his arms moved without his mind thinkin`. William smoothed Claude's fro wif hand.

"Mumsy?" Claude's watery golden peeps looked up ta da reaper's green an' gold.

"Dearest..." William's lip began ta quiver, peeps glazed wif new emotion... love.

"Awe~!" All da beotches (including Grell) began ta squee at da scene.

"Ah missed you so much!" Claude cried out while digging his face deeper into da nigga's pant leg.

"It's quite aight." William said soothingly. Which shocked fine ass much brothas.

"Damn..." Ciel muttered, not expecting dat uh scene from uh soap opera wuz happening on his grounds you know das right!