Note: I don't hate Ray. Actually, on my MM file, I got him up really high on the heart meter. So I copied it and made a second file where I married him. When they asked if I wanted to marry him at the wedding ceremony, I kept saying no. Then the townspeople got ticked, and after about 10 tries, I realized that once you proposed you had to get married to the person no matter what. But it made me laugh. Very hard.

Chapter Nine: BS Day

"Welcome to the Ray family's baby shower!" Jamie announced with an impish grin as we entered. I had a lot of nasty four-letter words to respond with, but managed to hold them in as Ray politely (but sullenly) returned the greeting.

That guy still couldn't handle his loss of fish. And after what Jamie had said to me earlier that day, I couldn't help but wonder if I had pushed him too far. Had I been too selfish? Too self-absorbed? That couldn't be it, though. I mean, something was gonna have to go: the fish or me.

And I as sure as heck was NOT going.

Once I came in, a giggling crowd of Flower Bud women surrounded me and fawned over the future baby boy.

"Wow, you must be so excited over having your first child!" Lyla breathed, a twinge of envy in her voice.

"Be sure to take it to the mines often," Ann insisted. "You want your son to be strong, right? I could teach it to mine for ores!"

"If you get too busy, I can always help with your meals," Gwen offered.

"Wouldn't it be cute if he became a fisherman like Ray?!?" Nina squealed (naive child that she was).

"Ladies, ladies, please!" Jamie intervened, carrying an armful of presents. "Harley still hasn't opened her gifts." The smile on his face seriously scared me. Something was up.

Ray stood by me as I nervously unwrapped the first present.

"Oh…wow," I managed, handing the gift to Ray. "It's… a baby-mobile. With fish ornaments hanging from it."

"This is great!" Ray exclaimed, spinning it with his finger. His smile soon vanished with a little "Oh…" as he realized what the ornaments were shaped as. The tune of Row Row Row Your Boat played faintly as it spun. What an evil little device…really, what were they doing to children's minds these days? Jamie grinned in obvious pleasure at both mine and Ray's discomfort.

The gifts continued. Flipper slippers, a fish squeaky toy, a mini-fishing rod, a fish puzzle, a bouncy ball with the picture of a fish painted on it, pajamas with fish designs stitched on them… was this some sort of conspiracy against me or something?!? Was everyone planning to make my son into a mini-Ray?!?

"Enjoying your party, Harley?" Jamie asked me with a twisted smile. I glared at him.

"This gift list is rigged," I accused. He shrugged—I guess that means he DID do it!—but at that moment Gina spoke up.

"What are you naming the baby, Harley?" the girl asked, pushing up her glasses.

"We haven't decided yet," Ray said cheerfully. "Which do you like better, Harley: Char or Dace?"

Apparently I hadn't gotten all the fish out of his system yet.

"We aren't naming our kid after a fish, Ray!" I defended my unborn son. "How about…Jack? It's a good farming name."

Ray snorted.

"Jack? Who names their child Jack?" he laughed.

"Are you kidding me? Who names their son after a fish?" I retorted.

Ray crossed his arms.

"I was named after a fish," he muttered.

"A ray is more like a sea skate or something, not a fish!" I countered. My husband stood up, no longer calm.

"Harley, let's take this outside," he said sternly, gripping me by the shoulder as the onlookers gossiped among themselves. Jamie was laughing hysterically at the "Char or Dace?" comment. What a moron.

Once outside, Ray faced me with his face contorted in rage.

"What is up with you lately, Harley?" he accused me. "Do you have something against fish? Or against me?"

My cheeks reddened.

"You think I'm the one with a problem, Ray? All you talk about is…well…"

"Fish?" he offered gloomily.

I laughed nervously.

"We have been married awhile: you're already ending my sentences." Ray wasn't laughing. I shut myself up and looked away uncomfortably.

"I know this may sound crazy, Harley, but you've been acting weird lately," Ray admitted. "There was that night at the Moonlight Café, the way you reacted to the pregnancy, your hatred of the baby shower, this random vegetarian thing? It came out of nowhere! I want to trust you, Harley, but I think something is up with you. The Harley I married has become someone that I don't really understand."

"What makes you think you understood the Harley you married?" I shouted angrily. "News flash, Ray, I have a life and a job that don't necessarily revolve around you!"

"…I could say the same thing," he replied softly. "Sometimes I wonder if--"

"If what?" I challenged.

"Sometimes I wonder if you really do love me!" he cried. Tears were actually flowing down his cheeks. Ray, the ever-happy Ray, was having a break-down. This was probably the first time in his life he'd ever gotten so riled up.

But I was pretty annoyed myself.

"So what if I don't? Why should I love you? Give me five good reasons!" I retorted.

"I can't think of any!" Ray shouted back. "That's why I assumed you loved me. Because it was the only logical explanation as to why a girl would propose to me! Me, the shy, insecure, fisherman Ray! Now I wish you hadn't proposed to me at all."

"Well, that makes two of us!" I yelled. "I wish I'd never gotten mixed up with you and your stupid fish!"

"So would you have rather gone with Jamie or Dan than me?"

"I--!" My mouth turned dry. "That's dirty, bringing up my ex-boyfriends like that," I glared.

"Mhm, so he DID know we used to go out together," a voice called from behind us. Ray and I both turned to see Jamie leaning against a tree, shaking his head in laughter.

"I thought you were inside," I whispered, color rising to my cheeks.

"Well, your shouting got pretty loud, so I decided to drop in." He flashed an icy smile at me. "Looks to me like your child's going to born in an unstable home."

"That's not true," Ray protested. "We can work things out."

"Yeah, and Nina will become an astronaut and fly to the moon," Jamie remarked dryly. "I think you have only two options: divorce or therapy. Divorce might get a little messy. I recommend therapy myself. It might rekindle that passion you two seem to have lost. Or maybe it'll make you both realize that you belong in the loony bin?"

"Get lost, you creep!" I snarled. Jamie simply grinned then walked back inside. I faced Ray.

"…I think he's right," the fisherman reasoned quietly. "Maybe we should see a marriage counselor."

"You're kidding me. I don't want to head to the city just to talk to some crackpot," I argued.

"Well, we can visit an unofficial therapist," Ray suggested slowly.

"What kind of a weirdo would agree to something like this?" I protested, shivering.

"Welcome to marriage counseling," Maria greeted us in a sweet, calm voice. "How should we begin?"