Note: I had fish for dinner last night. And then I thought, "Oh, fish! I have to write that next chapter!" Reading your reviews is very fun and inspiring. (You're absolutely right, Harley has become a fish-addict as well. We are what we eat.)

Chapter Fourteen: You, Me, and Pancakes

The pleasant aroma of baked goods filled Carl's cake shop. Now, I like Carl, don't get me wrong. But I had steered clear of this place ever since the incident with Katie and Joe (washing pudding out of your hair is no picnic). Yet today, an excitement swelled within me as I entered the little café. Excitement over what, I'm not sure. I guess I just felt that something was finally going to happen. Finally, I was going to do something.

"Hey!" Carl's boyish voice shouted to Ray and I from behind the counter. He walked over to us and huffed in annoyance. "You didn't pay for your pancakes, Ray!"

"I'm sorry," Ray apologized. "The explosion distracted me. I simply was going to make sure Maria and her library were alright."

"We have a library?" Carl exclaimed. "Wow! You learn something new every day."

"Can we sit down?" I interrupted, sick of all this talk about Maria and libraries and chicken-feed explosions.

"Of course you can," Carl grinned. "Just remember to pay me," he added, looking Ray over skeptically.

"I won't forget," Ray promised him with a little sigh as he sat himself down across from me.

I leaned back in my chair and stared into Ray's open blue eyes. How long had it been since I'd really got a good look at him? His tan skin shone under his chestnut hair. And his arms—how much muscle did someone get from fishing, anyway? Ray was pretty ripped.

Ray caught me staring at him, and I blushed and looked away in embarrassment.

"Well, you wanted to talk to you, didn't you?" he began. "Talk."

"Er, yeah," I cleared my throat. "How have you been?"

He looked at me for a moment then laughed.

"How do you think I've been?" he replied. "I've been fishing on my island almost all season long. There's no one to talk to, really. So, I just sit down, fish, and think."

"About?" I inquired.

"Oh, everything," he sighed, stretching out his arms. "About the future. Our child. What I'm going to do with my life. You. Stuff like that."

"…I see," I nodded. What I really wanted to say was: Me, too. I've been thinking about all this, too.

But something held me back.

"Welcome to Carl's Café," Katie announced curtly as she arrived at our table. "What would you like to order?"

"Pancakes," Ray decided.

"Do you have any muffins?" I asked innocently.

Katie snorted.

"Muffins? As if we'd waste our time doing special orders for you," she snapped.

"Fine, I'll get pancakes, too," I muttered, glowering at her darkly. That Katie was a real killjoy. She and Maria would get along really well.

"So, secret island? What's up with that?" I questioned Ray bluntly.

"It's this great fishing spot. The reason it's secret is because you have to befriend a dolphin to in order to reach it," he explained. "I thought I had told you about it after the counseling session?"

"Only briefly."

"Ah, sorry." He drummed his fingers on the table, then started to speak again. "I guess it was the perfect place to go. It's secluded and no one could bother me there. Well, except for Jamie."

"Jamie?" Now this was news to me.

"Yeah, he sometimes stops by."

"Do you two talk?"

"Depends. Not usually, though."

"Hm. Jamie's been popping in on me, too," I informed him with a wry smile. That fishing jerk! He knew where Ray had been this whole time?!?

"Harley, he hasn't been…harassing you, has he?" Ray asked me concernedly.

"Now you're jumping to conclusions," I laughed. It was a hollow laugh, and I'm sure Ray could see the doubt masked behind it. But he pretended not to.

"It's not my place to worry about that. I apologize," he spoke quickly. "We've talked about me some. What about you?"

"Eh, me?" I was a little taken aback. "Well, I guess I've just been farming. And I'm dealing with being pregnant. I've been thinking, too."

Little did he know he was getting the Jamie-edited version.

"You didn't explain why you tried to blow up Maria's library," Ray reminded me.

"What? Moi? Do something like that?" I said in mock offense.

"You're the only person that would do something as stupidly dangerous as that, Harley."

"Except Ann."

"Okay, except Ann."

Ray stared me down, waiting patiently for my answer. What was I supposed to say: 'Hey, I wanted to see you again, so I decided to try and stalk you'? Ha-ha, NO.

"I thought…uh…that Maria wouldn't let me into her library, so I, uh…"

"Why did you want to go into her library?" he cut me off swiftly.

"Er…I wanted to borrow a book!" I exclaimed suddenly.

"You? Borrow a book?" His voice was dubious.

"Yeah, it was about…being pregnant and…stuff."

Ray nodded.

"Okay, that makes sense. But next time, don't try to blow anything up, okay?"

Whoa, Ray bought it? No fishing way! How gullible was he? I mean, who would believe that? Seriously.

"Here are your pancakes," Katie said as she placed two plates of the delicious stuff on the table.

"Thank you," Ray smiled.

Katie rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Just don't forget to pay."

As she started to walk off, I called after her: "Could you get me some Hot Cocoa?"

"Of course you, of all people, would do that!" she retorted, turning to face me heatedly. "Wait till the last second to order something! So typical."

"Katie, be nice to the customers!" Carl warned from the counter.

Once Katie was in the kitchen (and out of ear-shot) it felt safe to talk again.

"Friendly service here, huh?" I remarked dryly. Ray smiled.

"Oh, it's not so bad," he shrugged. "When people say things like that, you just have to remember that their words aren't directed at you."

"What do you mean?" I said slowly.

"Normally, they're just letting out their frustration and anxiety. Yelling back at them just makes it worse."

I was rendered silent. Of course Ray would understand yelling. He had endured enough of it during our time living together. But right then, I wished I could yell at him like I used to. I wished I could scream my lungs out. But instead, an eerie silence had penetrated our marriage and friendship. And I couldn't help but wonder if it could have been avoided.

"Hey, Harley? Have you…thought any about the divorce?" Ray asked tentatively.

There it was. The dreaded question.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," I countered.

"What I want doesn't matter," he replied. "The divorce is something you wanted, and I won't stop you from getting it. That would be selfish of me. The only problem that concerns me is the custody issue."

"I've already settled that," I whispered.

"You have?" Fear crept into Ray's otherwise calm voice.

I ate a forkful of my pancake and nodded.

"I think… Maybe having a baby was a mistake on my part. I mean let's face it, I'd be a terrible mother. Always screaming, complaining, and working like crazy—what kind of a role model would I be?"

"Harley--!" Ray stood up and faced me angrily. "How dare you even think about that! I know you can be a little selfish sometimes, Harley, but I won't let you do this! Don't even suggest aborting our baby!"

"Wha, wha?" I stammered. "Ray, I never said that!"

"Oh, really?" he challenged. "I've heard that's exactly what you plan to do!"

"Who would tell you something so absolutely crazy?" I breathed in intense shock. Me, abort my baby? Never! It wasn't my baby's fault I had a rocky marriage. If anything needed to go, it was me. After all, I was the one who had screwed up everything.

"Jamie told me," he said carefully as he sat back down, noticing that our argument was attracting attention from the café-goers.

"Jamie can just go fish himself," I groaned. What was this, some desperate attempt of Jamie's to make me wanna marry him? How pathetic.

"I…I'm sorry, Harley," Ray began awkwardly. "I actually believed him. I should have known that you'd—"

"Don't worry about it," I sighed. "It's nothing big."

"So…what do you plan to do?"

"Actually, I was thinking…" I made eye contact with Ray. "How do you feel about being a father?"

"Are you kidding?" he grinned. "Is there anything more wonderful than being a parent? Knowing that you get to bring one more life safely into the world—"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's the mother's job," I interrupted. "You don't have to shove him out."

"…That's not what I meant."

"I know," I smiled. "Sorry. Bad joke."

"Anyway…" He cleared his throat. "I really want to make this parent thing work. So, what do you want to do?"

This was it. If I didn't tell him now, it would be harder for me to ask later. So I said it bluntly:

"Would you like full-custody of our baby, Ray?"

'Stunned' wasn't the word to describe Ray. It's too much of an understatement.

"Are you feeling okay, Harley?" he asked me.

"Be careful. Remember what happened last time you said that?" We both laughed softly to ourselves.

"But, really, you think I could raise a baby boy all by myself?" he protested.

"Well, yeah," I admitted.

"Harley, that's insane."

"Huh?" I actually had thought that plan was pretty brilliant, myself.

"First off, I don't have a good income all by myself," he explained. "Second, as you put it all those weeks ago, I'm a 'hobo.' Where would he live? How could I afford to give him clothes and food and toys?"

"What, are you suggesting I raise him?" I tried to understand.

"No, but think about it realistically. We can't raise him without sharing the responsibility. He could live with you, and I could--"

"You'll what? Live in a separate room? Like the villagers would accept that, Ray. And what if I got married to—" I clapped my mouth shut just before the word "Jamie" popped out.

"Get married?" he repeated. "Do you really think you'll remarry?"

"Won't you?" I responded.

"…I don't think so," Ray spoke softly.

Silence. I picked at the food on my plate and looked at his impassive expression. Was it really such a sore subject? You saw people get divorced and remarried all the time. This wasn't anything new, right?

So why was he so silent?

"It's a beautiful day," I said finally, staring out the window.

"Yeah. Autumn's my favorite season," he agreed.

"Didn't we meet in autumn?" I spoke suddenly.

"Yeah, we did. It was the day before the Full Moon Festival. I remember it…very clearly," he whispered.

The moment was broken by Katie's loud voice insisting we pay now or work our debt off in the kitchen.

"Hey, you paid last time, right?" I reminded him. "Allow me." I pulled out the money and waved away Ray's protests.

"I couldn't make you pay," he insisted. "I wouldn't feel right doing that."

"You know how you can pay me back?" I suggested. "Meet me here tomorrow again, about this time in the afternoon."

A light rosy color began to rise in Ray's cheeks.

"Actually," he replied. "I'd like that. A lot."

"Me too," I grinned. And for the first time in weeks, I found myself completely and genuinely happy.