Note: I am so insanely sorry! This story hasn't been updated in, like, a month. Feel free to pelt me with fish. (Ow...okay, I deserved that.) As far as this chapter goes, do you have any idea how hard it is to write a scene from a woman's point of view while she's giving birth? It took me forever to do a decent job.

PS: My apologies if it's not quite accurate; I tried my best to make it realistic. Even after researching, I may have slipped up. I didn't expect to be writing this far into the story. (Sigh) …I wonder how this turned out.

Chapter Twenty: Not the Best Time

Now, don't get me wrong, having the baby right now felt as if it had been cliché-ishly inserted into some sort of bad soap opera written by a second-rate author. I mean, right after we made up? Cheesy!

But, ya know, you really can't control when it happens, so I can't complain too much.

"Maybe it's a false alarm," Ray insisted. "Should we go to the Clinic or something…?"

"Ha-ha-ha, NO!" I retorted. "You think the first thing I want my kid to see is Martha's ugly face?!"

"Harley, check your priorities. You—you're in labor, and I don't know how on earth I can help you!" Ray protested. "We need a professional!"

"A professional what? Torturer?" I laughed nervously. "I don't like the idea of being imprisoned by Alex's nurses of doom, Ray!"

"…Nurses of doom?"

"Yes! Nurses of doom!" I repeated. "Did you see what happened to Dia? I don't want to end up like Dia, Ray!"

"Okay, okay, well let's just---oh, this is ridiculous!" Ray exasperated, throwing his hands in the air. "You need a doctor, and that's that. You're going to the Clinic."

"You couldn't pay me to go there."

"…Why are you being so difficult?" Ray groaned. "What, do you want to give birth right here?"

"Well, I—owww!" I moaned, leaning against the frame of the bed. "Ray, help me!"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know!" I shouted. "What, am I supposed to have all the answers?"

"Harley--!"

To our surprise, a knock sounded.

"Who on earth would come right now?" I complained. "Can't anyone give birth in peace anymore?"

Ray turned from me to the door in frustration, then muttered, "Oh, fish with it!" and opened the door. Standing before him were two people we unfortunately knew very well.

"Well, didn't you two get on the rebound fast?" Jamie quipped, clearly shocked to see Ray in my home. "You didn't waste any time at all."

"This is really not the best time," Ray tried to explain, sending me desperate glances. "Harley's kinda in a, um, delicate position."

"Goodness, is she not decent?" Maria gasped, clinging to Jamie's side. "It seems you two did indeed make up after all."

"Well, that just ruined my day," Jamie sighed. "And here I was going to rub in the fact that I had a date for the Full Moon Festival and Harley didn't. Bummer."

"Slam the door on them and come help me!" I screamed.

"…She doesn't seem too cheerful," Maria commented.

"Well, you know, when you start having contractions, you won't be all that happy yourself," I retorted.

"You don't mean…" Jamie's blue eyes widened. "You mean it's time? She's finally gonna give birth to that child?"

"Give…birth?" Maria repeated, her face turning green.

"Well, she's just having contractions right now," Ray explained.

"What is she still doing here?" Jamie demanded. "Why isn't she at the Clinic? What kind of husband are you?"

"You think you have the right to tell me how a husband should act?" Ray seethed. "After the way you've treated Harley, you think you can get away with saying something like that? I broke your nose once, Jamie, and I'll do it again!"

"Guys! Hello! A little help over here?" I reminded them. "We can save the nose-breaking for later! I—owwww, not another one!"

"When was the last contraction?" Jamie demanded.

"Huh?"

"I've birthed plenty of animals," Jamie informed us. "Depending on the frequency of the contractions, I can determine whether or not she'll be in active labor anytime soon. Now I repeat: when was the last contraction?"

"Um…maybe five minutes ago…?"

"Good. There's still time," Jamie nodded. "Ray, you take her right arm and I'll take her left. She might need some support on her way to the Clinic."

"The Clinic?!" I protested as they each took a side. "No! Anywhere but there, please! Do you know what they do to their patients?! They use invisible fences, and they poison the food, and they blew up a bunny!"

"Quit whining," Jamie huffed. "You're heavy enough as it is. It would help if you actually put forth some effort."

"But I don't wanna go!" I moaned. "Fish it all, can't I just give birth at home?"

"No!" Jamie and Ray responded simultaneously.

And while Maria was hurling in a bush somewhere, the three of us entered the Clinic.

"Welcome to the Clinic!" Gina beamed. "Broken noses, please take a number and go to the first room on your left—oh, it's you three! How are you feeling, Harley?"

"Terrified," I admitted, trying to break free from Jamie and Ray's grip.

"It's time," Ray told the nurse solemnly.

"Baby time?!"

"Yup."

"Oooh, I bet you're excited, huh?" Gina squealed.

"You bet I'm not!" I replied, imitating her cheerful voice. "Now let me go before—"

"Ah, Harley." The doctor entered the room, his eyes fixed upon me. "I thought you'd be coming soon. I understand this is your first time giving birth?"

At this point, I was more afraid that it was going to be my last.

"Yes, this will be her firstborn," Ray reaffirmed.

"I understand," Alex nodded. "Well, that means we're looking forward to about thirteen hours of labor."

"Thirteen?!" I protested.

"Roughly," he shrugged. "Though it depends on the individual, really."

"Well this individual does not want to go through thirteen hours of—owwww, stupid, stupid contractions!" I snapped. "This baby had better appreciate what I'm going through—thirteen hours?!"

"Some people take even longer," Gina added.

Everyone shot her a shut-up-you're-not-helping glare.

"Harley, come with me," Alex ordered, walking over to one of the beds. "Lie down and wait for Martha—this is more of her specialty than mine."

"Martha? Are you fishing kidding me?" I complained. "Isn't there anyone else?"

"Nope," everyone replied.

Dang it.

As if on cue, the chubby blue-haired midwife arrived by my side and cracked her knuckles expertly.

"Alright, dearie, relax. I have plenty of experience," she assured me. "Put on your hospital gown and we'll get down to business. Your water broke yet?"

"Well…no, not yet," I admitted.

"And what are all these people doing in the room?" she barked, turning on Alex, Jamie, Gina and Ray. "Back off, give the child some space! Goodness…"

"Um…Excuse me?" Ray began, clearing his throat. "I'm Harley's husband and all, so I was wondering if…"

"Clear out!" Martha ordered.

"But—"

"You heard me," she growled.

"Now just wait a sec!" I protested. "Ray can stay if he wants. I don't think it'll cause a problem, will it?"

"…Fine," Martha relented. "But don't get in my way, alright?"

Ray nodded meekly as everyone else exited the room.

I changed into the gown nervously, my fingers fumbling in the excitement. It was time. This baby that had kicked and hiccupped and slept within me these seasons was about to be born into the world—by me. I, Harley, was going to officially be a mother.

It was a terrifying and thrilling sensation all at the same time.

"Alright, you just lie on the bed, alright?" Martha smiled. "We're going to get through this."

"Will it really take thirteen hours?" Ray asked, dubious.

"Well, it is a first-time pregnancy we're talking about, so—"

"Holy fish!" I exclaimed, causing everyone to shut up and look at me.

"What, what?" both Ray and Martha insisted.

"My…water broke. Just now," I breathed in shock.

"Welcome to the 'transition phase,'" Martha chuckled. "Here's where things get interesting."

And as time went on, I began to realize just what "interesting" meant. The contractions continued, each one lasting longer and taxing more energy than the last. My breathing quickened, and suddenly my heart was pounding a mile a minute.

I don't know how much time passed. I really don't care anymore. All I know was how much pain shot through me in that tiny hospital bed, my only outlet being Ray's palm. My fingers dug into his skin desperately, but he never let go despite the pain. "It'll be okay," he whispered soothingly. "You've been through worse."

"How would you know?" I gasped, gripping his hand tighter. "Oh, fish it, fish it, fish it!"

"What's wrong?"

"I need to—to push, I can't explain it, but—"

"It's time for delivery, then," Martha nodded. "I'm ready for it, Harley. Just push!"

And you bet I did. Screaming in frustration, my face turned red as I tried my hardest to end my misery.

"Just hold on," Ray insisted. "You can do this."

"No, I can't!" I protested, sweating from the effort. "I just want to die, I can't take this, it hurts too much—"

"Harley, you've never been the kind of person to give up," Ray reminded me. "And you're not going to die. You're going to push with all your might, and I'll be right here waiting for you to give birth to our baby boy. You can do this. I know you, Harley. And you don't give up."

"Keep going!" Martha encouraged me. "You're doing fine!"

And with a desperate yell, I threw the remnants of energy I had left into performing a successful delivery.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, oh FISH this hurts, I can do this, I won't give up, I won't give up, I won't give up—

"You're almost there!"

Just a little more, a little more, it'll be all over, this doesn't hurt, this doesn't hurt, well yes it does, but I can do this, I can do this—OH FISH!

"Waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Shouts of joy and relief broke free from Ray and Martha, and I lay my head back on my pillow, exhausted.

"You did it, Harley!" I could hear Ray exclaiming. "You did it! We're parents! I'm--I'm a daddy, Harley! A daddy!"

But the noise and celebration that ensued eventually died down as I closed my eyes and fell into a well-deserved rest.