I see my daughter on the stage, waiting in line. Today is choosing day. I hope she chooses well. I hope both my kids choose well. Caleb goes up to the stage. He has always been Erudite, and I know that. Books are hidden everywhere in his room, and he is always getting good grades at school. He has a few Abnegetian qualities, but not enough to make him Divergent. Or, in the terms of the bureau, not healed.
I was assigned to Dauntless because of my tattoos, and was supposed to move to Erudite, but I chose not to. They were too cruel, and I want to be kind. So I chose Abnegation.
Today, I watch my kids choose who they will be for the rest of their lives. At least, if all goes according to plan.
I see Caleb step up to the bowls. He, predictably, at least to me, chooses Erudite. I feel Andrew tense next to me, and I run my fingers down his arm to soothe him. He has personal issues with Erudite so I do not ask. But sometimes I feel the faction rules bind us too tightly.
Is that because I am Divergent?
Or because I have experienced the outside world, true freedom?
My daughter, Beatrice goes next. She stands there, conflicted. But then, with a sudden burst of confidence, turns toward the Abnegation bowl. I know she does not belong in the factions either, and like me, wants to be free. She never fits in, and I feel it is a good thing. She is a strong Divergent, well healed.
She surprises me. She cuts her hand with the offered knife and stands, She thrusts her hand toward the Abnegetian bowl, but does not release the blood. Then, she rotates slightly, towards the Dauntless bowl. And releases the blood.
No!
No!
No!No!No!No!No!
Anywhere but there, would have been fine. I knew she needed freedom though, and that is the perfect place to be for freedom; not complete freedom, but freedom nonetheless. But they are looking for Divergent, and she so obviously is one.
Too soon, the choosing ceremony is over, and I wish I could see her. To warn her, to keep her safe. Maybe even... take her outside. But Andrew needs me. Both his kids have left, and I know the Erudite onslaught will come soon, because they are trying to start a war.
They are trying to ruin us, and it stared long ago. But they attacked poor Marcus after his son left. Neither was in the wrong, Tobias needed freedom, just as Beatrice does. But I have a gut feeling that Tobias needed to escape for another reason too.
Maybe his mother's death? Whatever it is, he left.
I hope he meets Beatrice. I hope he helps her. I hope he remembers her.
I try to smile at her as she leaves with the Dauntless, but how can I when she might be headed for death?
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