Sorry for the late update; I'm awfully good at procrastinating.
I did promise longer chapters, and this one is longer but not by that much; I didn't want to just babble on, but I endeavour to continue to make each chapter longer than the last :)
Now this chapter, and the next one will be the bottom of the barrel for Logan, this is the worst it gets, so just a warning; I know sometimes the angst can get a little tedious.
Also, thank you to all my lovely reviewers, I don't say it often enough, you're all so amazing and brilliant and motivating, so thank you :)

Chapter Eleven

Carlos awoke to the sound of shrill buzzing. He groaned in irritation, feeling around his bedside table until he managed to switch the alarm off. Clambering out of bed, the Latino stumbled into the bathroom and went about getting himself ready for school. Ten minutes later he found himself down in the kitchen, dressed in his usual jeans and sweater. He went to go about his daily breakfast ritual, lathering a bagel in the sweetest conserve he could possibly find but something stopped him; something made him pause as he rummaged through the pantry. The Latino felt a pang from deep within his stomach. A pang of anxiety that slowly began to encompass his being until it was all he could think about; not even food seemed to matter.

Something felt wrong; something was wrong.

Carlos ended up skipping breakfast, instead jumping into his car to get to school early; for the first time in his life. When he arrived Camille and Lucy were already there, loitering outside the school's entrance, deep in what looked to be quite a secretive conversation.

"Camille seriously, stop worrying yourself, everything will be absolutely fine, just wait, it'll be fine."

The two girls fell silent when Carlos joined the them, Lucy managing a thin smile while Camille looked totally distracted.

"What's wrong?" Asked the Latino, as he stared at Camille with worry; the girl was completely blanched; she looked sick.

It was Lucy who gave him an answer; "she's worried, but I think she should probably tell you what's bothering her so much."

Camille turned to look at the Latino with a weak smile.

"Lucy's right, its probably nothing important, I'm just overreacting is all."

Despite the girl's assurances Carlos was still curious.

"Well you know yesterday, when Lucy, Jo and I tried to get you to admit to liking Logan, which we know is true by the way."

The Latino only nodded his head in acknowledgement. The three girls had never actually gotten Carlos to say he'd liked Logan, he'd managed to keep those words from their ears, but he guessed he must have been pretty obvious about the whole thing; otherwise they never would have questioned him in the first place.

"Yeah, well I managed to get Logan's number off him so I could text him later that afternoon, you know, to find out exactly what he thought about you, but when I texted him hen never replied."

The pang of anxiety made a return, sending butterflies spiralling up into the Latino's stomach. That didn't sound like Logan. Carlos had never texted him but he knew Logan would never intentionally ignore someone, it just didn't seem like something he would do; especially to Camille; who'd been so nice to him.

"I-I'm just worried about him," she said with a frown, "I was afraid…"

Carlos didn't need her to continue; he knew exactly what she meant. Ever since the Latino had begun hanging around the small brunette he had slowly watched him get better and better, start smiling more, laughing; and Carlos had hoped that maybe his arms would never see another livid, red slash again. But Camille's words had set sirens off in his head; he didn't want to believe it, not after how good everything seemed to be getting. He couldn't ignore that pang though, it was getting stronger and stronger every second; threating to consume him. Carlos didn't know what to do; he didn't even know where the boy lived. He was tempted to slap himself. How was he supposed to make sure that the person he felt more strongly about than anything else in the world was okay?

Logan tried crying again but the tears wouldn't come; even though the pain of it all was still raw. The cut itself had long ago healed, his father had only managed a shallow one, but it had still broken the brunette in ways he couldn't describe. He felt weak and inferior, pathetic and useless, hated and forgotten. The silence of the old cabin was his only companion. He'd stumbled across the building after about an hour or two of blindly running through the woods on the edge of town. In total Logan had wandered till daybreak, not once stopping; wanting to put as much space between himself and everything as possible. For now, the abandoned cabin sufficed.

Logan had managed to dredge up some loose sheets of paper and a pen from the bowels of the abandoned furniture; they sat on a rotted out desk that was pushed up against one of the mildewed walls; ready and waiting. Logan knew what he wanted, needed to do. He'd reached the end of his road; he couldn't go on any longer. He glanced up at the noose that hung from one of the many rafters, the threadbare rope swinging ominously; waiting for Logan to seal his fate as he ponded what he'd write on that sheet of paper. He'd hung it up there only twenty minutes before; the urge to simply not bother with the letter and be done with it growing with each passing minute.

I'm sorry.

The brunette stared at the words, scribbling them out moments later. It didn't sound right; nothing that came bubbling to the forefront of his mind sounded right. He let out a bitter laugh; he was worrying about how the letter would sound? He realised what an idiotic notion that was; what did it matter? He was going to end up dead no matter how it sounded. The brunette cast his mind back to the night he'd been curled up on the floor, having only been mere inches away from dashing himself against the pavement below his window. He recollected how something inside him had stopped him, just at the last moment from taking the plunge, stopping him with the temptation of a possible future with Carlos Garcia.

Tears had begun to fall again, staining his cheeks with a salty warmth, he only wiped them away with the back of his hand, taking in a deep breath. It seemed that life bared a special kind of hatred for Logan Mitchell; it had a funny way of making everything seem like it was looking up to only plunge back down into the darkest ravines moments later. That was the whole problem; Carlos Garcia didn't seem like a good enough reason for Logan to stick around anymore, the negatives outweighed the positive threefold. Sure his friendship with Carlos had become something the brunette had never dared to imagine but the problems surrounding his father, Kendall, his 'secret admirer' and his other peers had only escalated. Life was always waiting with a mallet, to pummel Logan back into the dark reaches he tried so hard to stay out of; like that was his place, like he didn't belong anywhere else. It was an analogy that the brunette was starting to believe was true.

He glanced down at his watch; just about eight-thirty, he knew most students would have arrived at school by now. He wondered how long it would take people to notice that he was missing; as far as the brunette could recall he'd never missed a single day of school. He pondered about whether Carlos or Camille or maybe even Jo or Lucy would be worried when they realised he wasn't present; a part of him liked to think they would. Maybe Carlos would even come looking for him, maybe he'd turn the whole town upside down in a fevered search. It was a nice, fanciful thought; the only one that kept the pen Logan had poised in his hand from the page; the only thought that delayed the delicate brunette from stepping into that noose that swayed lightly from the rafters; just waiting to claim the teen's life and cast him into a world darker than he'd ever thought was possible.

Where the hell is Logan? Where in the fucking seven hells is Logan?

The thoughts were the only ones that occupied Carlos' thoughts for the entire morning as he proceeded through his usual Wednesday classes. The unnatural pang persisted within his stomach, leaving him with only an impending sense of dread that hung over the Latino like a storm cloud. It just didn't seem within the nature of the brunette to miss school; for anything, not for sickness, not even for injury. Carlos hated to think what was keeping him from the grounds. The text Camille had told him about that morning only made everything seem so much worse, like somebody was going to find Logan's broken body in a muddy ditch somewhere. Camille, Lucy and Jo had done their best to console him; assuring him that Logan would be at school the next day, and that he was just worrying about nothing; but that pang in his stomach seemed to tell him otherwise. The Latino knew that Logan could be in any number of situations right at this very moment and it frustrated him to know that there was absolutely nothing he could do to help him. The Latino carried that frustration with him as he stormed into the lunch hall, taking his place at his usual table and ignoring all the waves, smiles and greetings directed towards him, not even bothering to line up for any food.

A moment later James joined him.

"Hey."

The Latino was genuinely surprised by the acknowledgment; the two friends hadn't been speaking much of late; James only ever having to look at Carlos when absolutely necessary.

"Hey," he said back with a weak smile, digging his nails into the soft flesh of his palms, trying to do his best to distract himself from the continuingly distressing thoughts about Logan.

"You feeling okay?" James asked, staring at his shorter friend evenly.

Carlos nodded, dropping his gaze to the scored surface of the table.

"Just worried, you know?"

The taller boy nodded, turning to look as Kendall, accompanied by Jo and Camille took their places at the table. All three of them had varying degrees of solemn pasted over their features, Lucy looking the same when she joined them moments later. They had all told one another not to worry about their newfound friend, but the Latino's concern was infectious.

"He's okay, right?" Asked Jo, looking around at her friends as she picked at the food on the lunch tray before her, "I mean, he's probably just sick or something, right?"

The all nodded and mumbled in agreement, a weak solace at best. Carlos reflected on how Camille, James and himself only really knew about Logan's, condition, for lack of a better term and yet the others showed just as much, if not more concern even though to them he was only a shy boy who was probably just sick. Camille stood abruptly, asking James and Carlos if she could talk to them for a moment. She drew them out of earshot of the others, waiting a few moments before finally speaking in a hushed voice.

"You don't think he's gone and done something…" she took a moment to search the appropriate word, "regretful?"

It was the question that all three of them had been petrified of asking, because what if it was true? What were they supposed to do then?

"I-I…" Carlos couldn't muster enough energy to even form an answer; the question had shattered his entire resolve. James only stood, shaking his head furiously before turning away from them, disappearing from the cafeteria with swift steps. Camille turned to Carlos with pleading eyes,

"I'm scared Carlos, I'm scared for him."

It was all the Latino could do to take her into an embrace.

"I am too Camille," he whispered into her ear soothingly, "I'm scared too."

The air was cold, a heavy mist cloaking the trees and rocks, Logan's footfalls muffled as he wandered through the dense maze. Something had drawn him outside; something had told him that if he was really going to go through with all of it then the least he could do was end it with a clear, calm mind. He drew in long, deep breaths, letting himself soak in the cold. The brunette treaded past clumps of wilting wildflowers, allowing himself to lose sight of the cabin, he'd eventually find his way back; after all, he figured there wasn't really any rush. Eventually he came to a forded brook, the shimmering water weaving its way around rounded, black river stones that shone in the dull light of the overcast day. Logan collapsed on the carpet of rotting leaves by the stream's bank, staring out into the disorienting wilderness. At least here he knew he was safe from all the ghouls that sought after him at home and at school with every waking moment. The woods acted as a sort of asylum; a safe-haven in which he was going to die. The brunette couldn't help but smirk at the irony of it all.

He thought back to the day his father had first began to abuse him; the day he'd come out to his parents. Clear as day, Logan could visualise how his father had become stock-still, jaw clenching and unclenching, hands curling into veined fists. The brunette had thought that he was going to be punched right there and then but of course his father had the guts to only throw abuse of the verbal kind at his son.

"Good job, dad," he whispered into the stillness and quiet, "I don't think you'll ever realise just how much of this is your fault."

Logan realised there were a lot of people he could blame for what he was planning to do to himself; he could list the names of many people who'd helped push him along, but he knew it wasn't really their fault. It was his fault; he was too weak to cope with everything dished out to him, too fragile, just like porcelain, ready to shatter at the slightest impact. The brunette stood, planning to head back to the cabin; he knew this was his fault, and that he was too weak; that everything that had gone wrong with his life was his problem, but it didn't matter so much anymore; it wouldn't be his problem for very much longer.

Kendall sat under one of the school's many oak trees that were situated around the grounds, waiting for the rest of his friends to arrive. He glanced down at his watch, wondering how long this 'emergency meeting' was going to take; he had more important places to be. Within minutes the others arrived; James and Carlos, Lucy and Camille, and finally Jo, who took a seat next to him. The blonde just rolled his eyes; when would she get the picture? He wasn't interested; not in a million years. Camille was the first to speak; her voice weak, shaky.

"I thought that maybe we should all talk about Logan."

Kendall inwardly groaned, why were they all so worried about the kid, he was far too in love with Carlos to do anything stupid; he was probably at home racing through the exam preparation Kendall had demanded by Friday.

"Although I guess none of us really knew him very well," Camille said, clearing her throat, "he was our friend, or at least starting to become our friend."

Kendall saw Lucy and Carlos nod in agreement, also catching Jo staring at him from the corner of his eye.

"So I know we're all worried," she continued, "it doesn't seem like Logan to skip school, to ignore messages."

Camille took a deep breath before continuing, "Logan isn't exactly in a stable condition at the moment," she said, eyes flickering between each group member,

"he's not in a good frame of mind, if you understand what I mean."

The blonde saw Jo and Lucy's faces light up in dark realisation.

"That's why I've been trying so hard to make sure he's okay," Camille stated, "and that's why I called you all here. I want all of you to see if you and can try and get into contact with Logan, just to make sure he's okay; I'm sure we all want to make sure he's okay."

Camille continued to speak but Kendall tuned out, catching Jo sneaking glances at him again. Kendall was tempted to turn and give her one in the nose; she was so frustrating. How many advances would he have to politely decline before she got the message? The blonde really didn't understand why she couldn't comprehend that she would never be with him. He turned to cast a sideways glance of his own over at James, who was staring at Camille intently, listening to every word she spoke. He was the reason he and Jo would never be together; Kendall was only interested in the tall, hunky brunette that sat near him, seemingly oblivious to the shorter blonde that kept sneaking looks at him. In that sense, Kendall guessed that Jo and himself held some common ground; they were both hopelessly infatuated with people who just simply weren't interested; their own hearts set on somebody else.

Kendall had never tried anything on James; to be frank he was too petrified to even consider it; but he knew that James was interested in somebody else. Kendall had an eye for those kinds of things; he could always tell what people felt about each other, and he knew exactly how James felt about Logan Mitchell. That's what really gave the blonde fuel to hate the small brunette; to have blackmailed him like he did. Here was somebody as amazing as James Diamond, completely in love with him, and yet Logan would chase after a half-wit like Carlos; Kendall didn't understand how any sane person could do that.

"So we're all agreed then?" Asked Camille to her friends at large, "we'll all meet back here tomorrow morning to exchange anything we may have found out, and if nothing comes up or if Logan hasn't come back to school then maybe we'll think about calling someone."

Everyone muttered their agreements, getting to their feet and heading back to the car park; Kendall could see they were all eager to be getting home, away from the depressing subject that was Logan Mitchell. As Kendall got into his car and started the engine he hoped that if Logan wasn't at home, trying his best to fulfil the blonde's wishes, that wherever he was, for whatever reason that he would never, ever come back.

James stormed into his house; greeted by nothing but cold silence. His parents were out, working as usual, and like every afternoon he was left on his own; to do what he could find to pass the time. But that fact didn't seem important right now; his mind completely occupied by thoughts of Logan. The tall boy wanted to ram his head into a wall; to burrow into the deepest hole he could find and rot there. He knew he never should have done what he'd did; leaving that note in Logan's locker; he'd knew it'd been a cowardly thing to do, he should have told Logan himself. Some part of him thought that if he'd done that, actually confessed his feelings to Logan in person, then maybe he would've come to school, that maybe James could have stopped whatever terrible things were going on in the small brunette's mind.

He flung his backpack on the floor on his bedroom, collapsing onto his meticulously made bed. James wallowed in silence for a few moments, his pity party interrupted swiftly by a tentative knock on his door.

"James, are you okay, I heard you slamming the doors."

James mumbled to himself before answering, "just go away Beth, I'm fine."

Much to the tall boy's dismay, the door opened, revealing a sizable woman of around forty who wore a sad smile and greying hair pulled back in a tight bun.

"What's wrong?" She asked, leaning against the doorframe, duster in hand, "you're upset."

James rolled his eyes and buried his face in a pillow.

"Don't you have a job to do Beth? How have you not been fired yet?"

The woman only laughed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Is it about that boy, Logan?"

James groaned loudly, why did he share anything with this woman?

"I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone."

Beth chuckled, getting back to her feet, "okay, okay but before I go I just want to say that I don't think you have anything to worry about, you're an attractive boy James, Logan would be silly not to want to be with you."

Beth shut the door quietly behind her, leaving James to recommence his private party. Somehow what she had said had made the tall boy feel even worse. Why had he been worried in the first place? Why had he doubted himself? James knew he was better than Carlos, more intellectual; he understood Logan better. He knew that if he'd had the confidence to just tell the petite boy then none of this would have ever happened; Logan would had been his and they wouldn't all be facing this problem right now.

"Logan could have been mine," the whisper was a wistful one, laced with frustration.

He just hoped Logan was okay.

Yay, stuff happened :)
I hope that was up to scratch, I quite enjoyed writing it.
Also, get excited for major Carganess next chapter, I think you guys will like what I have in store.