Hola, dudes. Thanks to Cappie and killerlashes, as usual. And you. I heard this one was sad so...sorry? Thanks for reading!
Blind Ambition – Chapter Eight
Edward quietly made his way to the kitchen, his crutches abandoned in the living room. His legs seemed to yell at him with every step he took, but he didn't care. He needed to push himself for this one moment. He needed to show Bella that he was getting stronger- that this would all be over soon.
"Hi," he said, after he'd felt his way to the counter.
"Hey," his fiancée answered softly. He heard the refrigerator door close and smelled her new perfume as she neared him. She kissed his cheek and placed a beer in his hand, then leaned her head on his shoulder.
"What's going on with you?" Edward whispered and kissed her forehead. He felt her shudder against his body and her arms wrapped around his middle. "Bella?" He said her name quietly as he carefully reached behind him to put the bottle he hadn't even drank from yet down.
She mumbled something against his chest, so he pushed her away, just barely making out the shape of her face in front of him. When he had first started to lose his sight Edward would often lay awake and watch her sleep, just to memorize her face. He knew the exact shape of her mouth and the slope of her nose. The color of her eyes had been totally committed to his memory. It was something he had promised himself to never forget: he'd never forget the face of the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with.
"I'm sorry," Bella said again, louder this time.
"For what, sweetheart?" He brushed her hair away from her face and touched her cheek, feeling tears on her soft skin.
"For everything, Edward," she said as a little sob shook her.
It took Edward a moment to realize that she wasn't talking about distancing herself, about telling him no since the accident. He thought she might be telling him she was sorry for bailing on his so many times recently, but he knew he was wrong.
Edward knew he had bigger things to worry about.
"Tell me," Edward uttered quietly, almost positive he didn't really want to know.
Bella took a deep breath, her hands placed on Edward's chest.
"I need you to understand that I didn't mean…I never meant to hurt you, Edward," she started, and Edward felt the anger start to boil under his skin.
He had known for some time that something was wrong, but now it was being brought to the surface, and Edward wasn't sure it was something he wanted to hear. Edward took a deep breath and removed Bella's hands from his chest. He didn't kiss them or squeeze them, just removed them from his body like he was brushing off a piece of lint.
"What is it?"
"Edward, I'm pregnant," she practically whispered.
Edward froze, a brief sense of joy filling him at the idea of being a father, but he knew better. Bella had told him before the accident that she wasn't sure about children, and he had felt the same…at the time. The elation lasted a matter of seconds before everything seemed to click into place for him.
Bella's new perfume.
How she worked late and the weekends she'd spent at the office.
Her inability to be intimate with him.
Pregnant.
"How long?" he asked through his clenched teeth, not exactly sure what he was asking.
How long had she been cheating?
How long had she known she was pregnant?
How long would she have let it go on?
"Edward…" She said his name and he felt her fingers brush his hand. "I'm sorry."
He yanked his hand away and turned away from her, breathing heavily.
"Sorry?" Edward laughed hollowly and shook his head.
"I didn't mean for this to happen!" Bella cried, touching his shoulder softly. He jerked away again, hitting his back on the counter as he turned around.
"Don't. Don't fucking touch me again. Answer my question, Bella: how long?"
"I'm…I'm six weeks," she muttered.
Edward ran his hand over his face and shook his head. "Who is it?"
His fiancée took a ragged breath. "Tyler," she answered quietly, and then added, "We've been seeing each other for two months."
And Edward laughed. Maybe he laughed at the "seeing each other" part, because it just seemed so wrong, using a polite term for such a horrible thing. Or maybe he laughed because it was all he could do in the moment when his life was falling apart. Or because it seemed suddenly that the world was playing an awful trick on him. First his sight, then his legs, and now the love of his life? Surely this had to be a bad dream that he would wake up from, and everything would be fine.
Edward was smarter than that, though. He'd come to terms with things years ago: life was hard. And this part…this part was going to be rough.
"You should go," he whispered once he'd managed to compose himself.
"Edward, please…" she started to plead, but something in his expression must have told her not to.
"Leave, Bella. Now," he said, with a hardness in his voice that made her blanch and take a step back. He heard her footsteps leaving the kitchen and make their way to the bedroom.
He sighed loudly, almost feeling sorry for her. He had never spoken to her like that before. But, then again, he had never had a reason to hate her before.
Edward stood in the kitchen while she gathered her things, listening to her banging drawers closed and sniffling the whole time. Of course, she would have to come back. They'd lived together for five years, so she couldn't simply take all of her things in one go.
At that moment, though…he didn't care. He didn't care if he ever saw her, figuratively, again. In that moment he felt absolutely nothing but hatred for the woman who had spent the last seven years at his side.
Seven years, he thought angrily.
Seven years gone. There was no turning back or talking about it. Edward knew it the moment she uttered those two little words. It was sad, really, because after his conversation with Dr. Clearwater he had been rethinking having children, and could have been happy…had it actually been his child Bella was carrying.
He didn't need a confession to know that baby wasn't his. It had been months since they'd been together and, had Bella known she was pregnant for that long, she would have told him.
Funny, Edward mused, she used to suck at keeping secrets.
Or maybe he just couldn't tell when she was lying anymore. Either way, it didn't really matter.
"I'm leaving," Edward heard her whisper hoarsely from behind him.
"Goodbye," he replied, as if she had told him she was going to the grocery store.
"Edward, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Bella gave a little hiccup and he almost turned around. He almost went to her, wrapping her up in his arms and telling her it would be okay. That it was just another bump they'd get through.
But he didn't. He had never known such betrayal, and certainly never thought it would come from someone he loved so much.
"Leave your key," was his reply before he felt his way out of the kitchen and to his bedroom.
His legs ached from standing too long, but he wouldn't let her see him in pain. Edward slammed the door behind him and waited for the front door to close. He took a deep breath and reached for his phone in the pocket of his jeans.
"Call Jasper," he said quietly. His friend answered quickly, and all Edward had to say was, "Meet me at Collins."
Edward grabbed his crutches, programmed his GPS to send him to the little bar down the street from his building, and headed out. His emotions were already starting to feel numb, and Edward was two beers in by the time Jasper made it to the bar.
"Girl problems?" He asked, as he slipped into the seat next to his friend.
Edward coughed a laugh and rested his head in his hands.
"She's pregnant."
"...congrats?"
Edward shook his head and confesed, "Bella and I haven't had sex in almost six months."
"Well, I can see how that would be a problem," Jasper mumbled feeling a little shell-shocked. "In that case, drink up, I'm buying."
"Yeah, I was couting on that," Edward replied, grateful that he had someone to, not actually talk to, but be around in his moment of need.
They drank in silence for a while, Jasper unsure what to say and Edward not really wanting to say anything.
"You'll be okay," Jasper finally spoke and Edward nodded silently.
"I'll be okay," he repreated, willing himself to believe it.
A few rounds later Jasper was helping Edward to his front door, promising to call him tomorrow, and trying to let him know that it would all be okay. Edward had laughed and pushed Jasper out the door, because his friend tended to get a little emotional when he drank, and Edward was finally starting to feel the affects of the situations.
He locked his front door and limped his way to the bedroom, almost keeping it together...until he closed the door. It was only then did he let his emotions get the best of him as he slowly slid down his bedroom door and buried his face in his hands.
For the first time in a while he found himself with tears falling freely down his cheeks, onto his shirt and the floor, wherever they wanted to go. He didn't try to stop them, he just let them fall and mourned his loss, knowing there was no way this story was going to end with a happily ever after.