A/N I am SO sorry for not updating. As it said on my profile, I've been really busy with a huge term paper, but I also went on vacation for awhile (not a relaxing one, though). This chapter is kind of the vision of a sleep deprived, I-just-switched-time-zones-and-it's-three-in-the-morning-to-me brain, so forgive it for it's coplete and utter weirdness and randomness. It came out of nowhere, I swear. I actually kind of like it, but it's very different. Forgive me.

Also, if you were to count the words in the chapter, it's very short, but the actual length as well as the content make it seem longer. Again, forgive me.

Thanks to all of my reviewers (there are so many now that it takes forever to lst them) and my very patient readers.

Disclaimer: I don't own the brand name mentioned later in the chapter. I do own Danny Phantom, though. Oh, wait, I'll get sued for saying that...Never mind, I only own this chapter and the clothes on my back.

Chapter Eight

"Hey."

"Hey."

"What are you up to in there?"

"Nothing."

"Come on."

"Nothing."

"Danny. What are you doing in there?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me!"

"I already told you, what, three times already? Nothing, I am doing nothing."

Sam cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, really?" she asked with a trace of sarcastic malice in her tone.

She heard Danny sigh from the other side of his bedroom door. "Yes, Sam. Really. I am doing absolutely nothing."

"Uh huh." She leaned against the door, unable to keep a grin from spreading on her face. She had already won and she knew it. "So if you are in fact doing nothing in there, why can't I come in?"

Silence.

A muffled chuckle burst through the locked door. "Well I wouldn't exactly be doing nothing if you came in here."

Sam froze for a minute, contemplating whether or not she should mention the obvious but unintentional double entendre. She decided against it. "Danny, just let me in!" she shouted as she rubbed her forehead. The power of intangibility would certainly be nice right about now.

"No. The art of doing nothing is perfected only by actually doing nothing and, if I even got up to open the door to let you into my room, I would, in fact, be doing something instead of nothing."

He has a point. "But you're talking to me which is, in itself, doing something and not nothing. Besides, I need my shower stuff which so happens to be in your room, which you've been letting me use since I got here," she stated triumphantly. He would have to get up to open the door in order to give Sam her things which would allow for a chance to dash in the room uninvited and see what he was doing. Carefully, she leaned towards, but not against, the door. He sighed and she distinctly heard the shuffling of feet coming closer to the door.

And closer...

And closer...

And...

He phased his arm through the door and dropped her shower items at her feet.

She narrowed her eyes and turned an icy glare towards the door as though it was the frustrating ghost boy himself. "You suck." She leaned with her back against the door, trying to think of a way to get him out of that damned room of his. Ever since that visit to Tucker's last week, he'd been awfully secretive about something and she wanted to know what that something was. Her hand underneath her chin, she pondered for all of six seconds befre her eyes lit up wickedly. "Well, if you won't come out or let me in, I suppose I'll just have to pay another visit to Tucker."

Sam rolled her eyes when she heard something that sounded suspiciously like "it's about time" coming from behind the door. Now was the time to put her devious plan into action. "I just hope I don't walk in to find him and Jazz going at it again," she said loudly, a malicious smirk appearing on her face.

Three, two, one...

Danny slammed open the door, his face a mixture of shock and disgust. "WHAT?" Sam used the opportunity to leap into his room and settle herself on the bed. Judging by the look still plastered to his face, he hadn't even seen her. She quickly looked around, taking in her surroundings before Danny had the chance to snap back to reality and toss her out. Nothing. Shit.

She sighed. "Take it easy, Danny, Jazz and Tucker haven't been having sex behind your back." That I'm aware of, anyway. His face and form visibly relaxed, his shoulders going back to his perpetual slump.

"Ohthankgod," he breathed out, eyes closed. He swerved around to meet her eyes, a slight grin crossing his features. "Oh, and by the way, Sam, one of my newer powers is invisibility from afar. Meaning that even if I'm not touching something..."

"...You can still make it disappear," she finished lamely for him. Well now she felt like an idiot...

At least she did before she spied a pile of receipts on his bedside table. Cocking an eyebrow, she picked one up. "Well, well, what's this? Is Danny slipping in his thoroughness?" The other eyebrow shot up to join the first when she saw them disappear before her eyes, but not before she had seen the contents of one of them. She glanced over at Danny, seeing his eyes shut tightly in concentration. Or fear. One or the other.

"So why exactly did you purhase a 'Hanky Panky Stretch Lace Low-Rider Thong' ?"

"Uh, well, I...that is, um..." Danny scratched the back of his neck as he continued to stutter out unitelligible phrases. Then, he mumbled something low enough that Sam wouldn't have been able to know he was speaking if he hadn't moved his lips.

"What was that?" she asked teasingly.

"Ssachrsmispersnt..."

"What?

"It's a Christmas present," he said louder, his face turning an interesting shade of pink.

"You bought someone a thong for Christmas?" Sam asked, her amusement evident through her tone. "A 'Hanky Panky' brand thong?"

"Maybe," he said embarassedly, his face crossing over to a deep crimson.

"Wait," she said, stopping her previous train of thought as something else dawned on her. "You were just in here wrapping Christmas pressents?"

"Maybe."

She snorted. "You could've just told me that and I would've left you alone."

Danny cocked an eyebrow. "I'm surprised that you haven't asked who the thong is for."

"I have a pretty good idea."

"Oh really?"

"Yup." She grinned. "I'm sure Tucker will love it."

Danny groaned. "Do I really even need to tell you at this point that there is nothing, and I mean nothing, going on between me and Tucker?"

"It's 'Tucker and I', first of all. And your 'nothing' always turns out to mean 'something'. After all, you were supposedly doing 'nothing' in your room." Sam's grin widened. He had made her so goddamn curious over nothing, he was going to pay.

"That still doesn't mean I'm in love with him or something. Nor does it mean that I'm giving him a thong for Christmas. It's not even a man-thong."

Sam stared at him for a full ten seconds before bursting into laughter, clutching her sides as she collapsed on Danny's bed. "Man-thong?" she managed to choke out amid her giggles.

Danny's face was literally getting redder by the second. "Well, what would you call it, then?" he asked indignantly.

He allowed her to laugh for several more minutes before flicking her on the side of the head. "Ow," she complained, finally coming down from her fit of giggles. She turned to look at him, her eyes once again mischievious. "Well, if not for your beloved Tucker..." she squealed as he hurled a pillow at her face.

"Well, if you'd looked longer," Danny said rther grimly, his mouth set in a straight line, "you would have seen the size. Extra extra extra extra extra large. It's...ugh," he groaned, covering his face with his hand. "It's for the Lunch Lady as a wedding present."

Sam would have howled in laughter, really, she would have, had it not been such a big shock. "Ew," she said, very much disgusted by the idea of the Lunch lady wearing a thong. "Wait, a wedding present? I thought you said it was a Christmas present."

He shrugged. "It's both. They're getting married on Christmas since it's the only day that ghosts absolutely can't fight one another. Or me," he added. "I can't be ripped apart; I'm the best man."

"Are you?" Sam inquired. "Why? I thought they hated you."

"Eh, they've gotten less malevolent since I introduced them."

"You introduced them? Oh, this is bound to be a good story."

"Nah, not really. I was just fightintg the Lunch Lady one day when the Box Ghost came flying in, shouting 'Beware!' The two clapped their eyes on each other and the battle was dropped, just like that."

"Wow. Love at first sight, hmm?"

Danny moved his gaze from her eyes to her lips. "Yeah..."