Chapter Seven

Gutted Headquarters

Ralph slammed his fists against the energy field several times. Each time, they bounced off of the field with a loud crackle.

"We're not going to get through," said Calhoun. "There are no switches on this side, and I've nothing that could disrupt that field. We just have to try this passage."

"But what about Vanellope? What about Gene?" Ralph cried "We can't just leave them."

"Ralph," Calhoun said, her voice brimming with pent-up tension. "Ralph, don't assume you're the only one who's worried about them."

"I'm not," said Ralph. "But we've got to try to reach them."

"There's no way to try!" Calhoun snapped. "Now pull yourself together and follow me." She spun about and began to walk down the passageway. She stopped when she realized Ralph wasn't following.

"Ralph," she said, still facing the passage. "I know what you're feeling. I feel it too. But all we can do now is keep going, and pray they're alright."

Ralph sighed heavily and turned away from the energy field.

The passage sloped upwards in a straight line. As Ralph and Calhoun moved further down its length, they began to notice doors lining the walls on both sides, in no particular pattern. Odd titles could be seen above the doors, such as Alligator Chatbot, Titanic Stinks, or i luv serael. The most bizarre one in their eyes was lolkitties!

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Ralph.

"No clue," Calhoun replied. "Let's keep moving."

Several yards ahead, the passage made a sharp turn to the left. When they reached the bend, Calhoun and Ralph peered cautiously around the corner. There was nobody in sight.

"You'd think there'd be more people around," said Ralph.

"Unless those beasts scared them all away," said Calhoun. She leaned against a nearby door. "It's just a good thing we've got your fists along, because-"

Before she could finish her sentence, the door she was leaning on gave way with a loud crunch. Calhoun caught the edge of the door-frame and just barely managed to steady herself.

"A really weak door," she said, turning to see what lay beyond the now exposed opening.

"What is it?" Ralph asked.

Calhoun didn't reply. Instead, she passed through the doorway into the room beyond. Ralph followed her inside, and then paused to gaze at the new surroundings.

The room appeared to be an office- or at least, what was left of one. A large table was broken in half, both pieces lying near the far wall. Torn cushions and the shattered remnants of what had once been chairs were scattered haphazardly about. A set of metallic double doors could be glimpsed to the right. Along the walls, words could be seen, describing a human whom Ralph couldn't identify, along with various political sentiments.

"What a mess," Ralph said aloud.

"Yes, isn't it?" said a voice neither Ralph nor Calhoun recognized. Both of them turned to see a lean man, of average height, with a scruffy grey beard and a baseball cap leaning against the back wall.

"Who are you?" Calhoun demanded, her hand resting against the handle of the blaster at her hip.

"Not someone who plans to harm you, at any rate," said the man. "Just call me Cool Old Guy with a Baseball Cap."

"That's a long name," said Ralph. "What're you doing in here?"

"Observing," said the man. "As for the name- you can call me COG then, I suppose."

"What's that mean?"

"It's short for 'Cool Old Guy'," said the man.

Ralph and Calhoun said nothing.

"Look, I'm trying to make this as simple as I can for you guys," said the man. "I think it's clear you're not from around here."

"We aren't about to tell you who we are," said Calhoun. "We don't know you."

"That's quite alright, I already know," said COG. "Sergeant Calhoun and Wreck-It Ralph, I believe?"

"How'd you know that?" Ralph asked.

"This is the internet, friend," COG replied. "All the information you ever wanted to know, and all the information you never wanted to know- it's all here." He smirked. "In truth, it was just a matter of finding the right website."

"Website?" Calhoun arched an eyebrow.

"You're in one," said COG. "In this case, a blog."

Ralph and Calhoun stared blankly.

"Web-log," COG explained. "A log that's kept on the web. Say, you're pretty green. Have you ever even been on the internet?"

"We've never needed to before now," said Calhoun.

"We wouldn't have come if we hadn't needed to," Ralph added. "Not after you guys threw SANG at us."

COG's eyes bulged. His nostrils flared, and he snorted furiously. "SANG." He spat contemptuously on the ground. "Good riddance to them. Most of them never came back from their little excursion to Litwak's."

"We're from Litwak's," said Ralph. "And all of them are dead, including that kid who led them- what was her name? Oh right, Portia."

COG flinched at the sound of the name. "That little upstart?" he said. "Dead? Again, good riddance. We didn't all like SANG around here, you know. So it'll probably please you that some friends of mine dealt with their remnants around the end of September. They're all either dead or in hiding. As for this blog-" He gestured at their surroundings. "This was their headquarters."

"Quite a dump," said Ralph.

"Now it is," said COG. "Folks don't really come here anymore, except for me. I like to gloat at the thought of those bigots' demise."

Calhoun looked thoughtful for a moment. "If you hated SANG as much as you say," she said at last, "and if you know about our games, I suppose it couldn't hurt to ask if you've seen Fix-It Felix Jr."

"Fix-It?" said COG. "You're on his trail. He ran right around the bend in the passageway outside not two hours back. Jabbering strange stuff, he was. If its Fix-It you want, keep going the way you were- you were going that way, right?"

"Yes."

"Then as you were," said COG. "I'll wish you luck. I'd help you if I could, but I've got places to be shortly."

"Very well then," Calhoun said curtly. "Thank you for your help."

"Strange guy," Ralph commented when he and Calhoun were well away from the blog.

"I didn't know whether to fully trust him," said Calhoun. "I still don't. But if he says Felix went this way, then this way we'll go."

"It can't hurt to try," said Ralph.

"We've nowhere else to go," Calhoun replied. "And anyway, a clue's a clue. We'll follow the trail and see if we chance on any more evidence. Meantime, keep your eyes peeled for threats."

"Got it."