Chapter Nine
Gale
Gene and Vanellope looked about. Neither of them could see anyone.
"Hey, are you a ghost?" said Vanellope.
"Nope," said the voice. A lean man of average height dropped down in front of them from the ceiling.
"Ugh," said the man. "You have no idea how hard it is to cling to the ceiling with adhesive gloves for so long."
Gene took in the man's red and yellow harlequin patterned suit at a glance. "Um…"
"I can see I've made you speechless," said the man. "I do that sometimes, I believe."
"Who are you?" Gene said at last.
"Why, I'm irritating comedic relief of course," said the man. "You can call me Gale. They say I was born in one. At least, so my backstory goes when I tell it. On a sinking ship, I believe it was. Of course, I also love the sound of my own voice-"
"I noticed," said Gene.
"-if not quite as much as you love yours," Gale finished.
"I do not love the sound of my own voice," said Gene.
"Oh? Then why were you shouting all this while? All I had to do to find you was follow the complaining."
Vanellope chuckled.
"And the lame jokes," Gale added.
"Hey!" Vanellope exclaimed. "Not funny."
"You know what, Vanellope?" said Gene. "I take it all back. This guy's way more annoying than you."
"Yeah, well, when he's gone, you'll just go back to being annoyed at me."
"Not necessarily- agh!" Gene threw his hands in the air.
"You know," said Gale, turning towards Vanellope. "If you were over eighteen, I'd totally ship you with this guy." He glanced off into the distance. "Not that age is ever a barrier for some."
He looked back at Vanellope and Gene, who were staring at him in total confusion. "We'll just pray that one's a sinking ship of another sort," he said. "And besides, neither of you have got anything on Helen of Troy. Now she was the face that launched a thousand ships…I just lost you both, didn't I?"
Gene gestured towards Vanellope. "Come on, let's get out of here." He began to walk forward again, Vanellope following him readily.
"Wait!" Gale called. Gene and Vanellope ignored him.
"Wait!" he said, leaping over their heads and landing on his feet in front of them. "Hold on."
"Get out of the way, please," said Gene. "Please, before I lose my temper."
"Time to drop the act, then," said Gale. "I can be serious as well." Indeed, Gale had assumed a serious expression.
"Time to be honest with me, Gene. You're not from around here."
"You know my name?" Gene asked, surprised.
"I do indeed," said Gale. "I also know that of your friend there: Princess Vanellope."
"Actually, it's Citizen Vanellope," the racer corrected. "I'm only a princess when the game's being played."
"As you please," said Gale. "And before you ask how I know your names- I looked them up on the web."
"Wha-"
"It's okay, Gene," said Gale. "I know this may seem like a shock. But really, once you come to know the internet, you won't be so surprised. You can find information on pretty much every game ever made if you can find the right website."
"What are websites?" Vanellope asked.
"Well, every one of these doors opens onto one," said Gale. "Some have games, others don't. You just came out of an online game."
"And you're from an online game?"
Gale looked sharply at Vanellope, his expression tense, before relaxing his look. "Sorry," he said. "I've got…things on my mind. But yes, I'm from an online game."
"If you don't mind my asking," said Gene, whose curiosity had now been piqued by Gale's sudden shift away from bizzarity, "how can your game function when you aren't in it?"
"When an online character is outside of his game," said Gale, "he's still within it in every copy except for the one he leaves. So the game will still function on every website except the one he leaves from. And he can only leave one copy at a time." Gale blinked. "I know- it's confusing. None of us ever really figured out how it works either. But we know it does."
"I don't get you," said Gene. "You show up and make me want to claw my eyes out, and now you act like a different person entirely. Why?"
Gale winked. "Sometimes, it's just fun messing with people," he said.
"Not for me, it isn't," said Gene. "I'm rather grateful it was just an act."
"Not entirely, it wasn't," said Gale. "I honestly would ship you two if Princess- er, Citizen Vanellope were over eighteen."
"What is shipping, anyway?" Vanellope asked.
"Don't concern yourself with it," Gale replied. "Try to find out, you'll just discover things you'll wish you'd never encountered."
"I think I'd take his word for it, Vanellope," said Gene. "We don't know this place, and he does."
"Alright," said Vanellope. "I'll believe him."
"Good," said Gale. "Now that you've effectively promised to avoid ninety-nine percent of the content on the internet, let's go."
"Go where?" Gene asked.
"Wherever you're going," said Gale. "It's plain enough you two can't take care of yourselves in this place."
"How dare you?" Gene exclaimed. "I think…" His voice trailed off. "I guess we could use a little help," he admitted in a calmer voice. "You know the big room back at other end of this passage?"
"The one by the path to the modem?" said Gale. "Yes, I know it."
"What's a modem?" Vanellope asked.
"Where you entered before you went through the portal to the internet," said Gale. "You two really don't know much about this place, do you?"
"Not really," Gene admitted.
"Anyway," said Gale, "as I was saying, I do know that room. Why do you ask?"
"A force field of some kind cut us off from it," said Gene. "We need to get back to it."
"Force field, eh?" said Gale. "I'm afraid I can't help you past that. You'll have to take the long way around back to the room. Follow me, I'll show you." With that, Gale spun about and began heading down the passage.
"Should we go with him?" Vanellope asked.
"Sure, why not?" said Gene. "Just keep your guard up."
"Hurry up," said Gale, who had stopped as soon as he realized he wasn't being followed. "I'm sure you two haven't got all day any more than I do."
Gene and Vanellope hurried forward to catch up with Gale.
"You two done with your clandestine meeting that I could hear every word of?" Gale asked as they reached his side.
"Yes," Gene said with a huff.
"Good," said Gale. "Let's go." And with that, the strange character resumed walking.