Houston rubbed at his face with his hands and took a shaky breath, he glanced to the bar and stood to walk over, he had the bottle of Scotch in his hand and was just about to take a swig from the bottle when he hesitated, and turned to look at himself in the mirror behind him. He bent closer to study his reflection, noticing for the first time the dark circles around his eyes, the way his hair was curling passed his collar, the pallor to his skin. He stepped closer and looked at himself, before shaking his head and putting the Scotch down. He walked to the sink and ran the cold water, splashing his face several times and taking several big gulps from his cupped hands.

"Smart move old friend!"

Houston sighed and wiped the water from his face before turning around, smiling softly as he saw his old college room mate Paul Fairborn. Matt had been Pauls best man when he had married Bonnie…when Bonnie had been murdered on their wedding night Matt had gone all out to find her killer…but he hadn't been able to stop Paul taking his own life, something that had haunted Matt for a long time after. "Hey Paul" Matt whispered

"Seems you kinda been havin' some tough times lately…lost your way a bit huh?" Paul gave a cheeky grin s he walked towards him

Houston sheepishly grinned back. "So some folks have been tellin' me!"

Paul chuckled. "But have you been listening?" He sat down on one of the bar stools and waited until Houston had walked around and joined him. "Guess you know why I'm here?"

Houston nodded. "I can guess, but to be honest Too Mean kinda clued me in to!"

"He is just a big old softie at heart aint he?"

"Aint he just!"

"Ah you know Matt, before we get going I got something I need to say to you ok?" Paul nodded back when he saw Matt fidget in his seat. ."You know…what I did? You couldn't have stopped me…you really couldn't. I needed to be with Bonnie, had to be with her. If I had waited until after her funeral, well…you guys wudda just have to off dug your black suits out again…besides me and Bonnie…we did everything together…I couldn't bear to let her go on that big adventure without me!"

Matt sighed "But you had so much to live for Paul! I mean…sure losing Bonnie was tough, but you were young, you were successful…you cudda found someone else…Bonnie wudda understood!"

Paul gave a soft chuckle. "Uh huh, replace Bonnie? Never! I mean…could you replace CJ? And let's face it pal…these last few years you sure have tried!"

Houston looked puzzled. "But…Paul, CJ is alive and kicking…I uh, I don't know what you mean?"

"Really?" Paul chuckled softly as Houston looked back at him, a blank expression on his face. "Ah old friend…we were college buddies…I know you, know how your mind works…it seems better than you do!"

"You know Paul, it's been a really long night, and uh…safe to say I've had a few shocks…so you talking in riddles…"Houston shrugged to emphasise his words, "no comprende amigo…sorry!"

Again Paul chuckled. "From the day we moved into the room we shared you had a picture of CJ either on your bedside cabinet or on your desk. It's not normal for a guy to keep a photo of a girl who broke his heart after a brief holiday fling ya know! And when ever you went home for holidays, or went to visit her at college…all I heard when you got back is CJ said this, CJ did this…the dress CJ wore was amazing! When CJ came to visit us at our dorm, well that was the only time I saw you clean your side of the room! And you would always buy a new top or shirt.…get your hair trimmed…you didn't even do that when you were dating some of the hottest girls in Uni!"

"She's ma friend, didn't wanna let her down!"

"Right, sure that was it!" Paul smirked. "But then I remember the mini depression you had when you came back from a Christmas break…you finally told me that you had started to ask CJ for another chance, see if you could make a relationship work this time…only she didn't take you seriously when you tried to kiss her under the mistletoe…then she told you how safe she felt having you as a friend, no complications, just someone who would always be there for her! Man, after that it seemed you ditched the blonde bombshells you had passed the time with, and chased after every brunette who had even the vaguest look or similarity to CJ…law student, check…honours student, check…sense of humour, check…sexy as hell…check! But none stuck for long…cos none of them were the real deal!"

"I was engaged to a girl I met at Uni Paul!" Houston reminded him

"Yes, you were…let me remember…tall brunette with sparkly eyes…economics major who specialised in corporate mergers, came from Connecticut and loved riding and walking…and I liked her Houston….she says hi by the way but she had other commitments…. But dude she was SO like CJ it was uncanny! Then a few years later I noticed you fall for HER lookalike…chasing shadows when all you need is right in front of you!"

Houston stared at him for several minutes before saying. "We're better as friends…I am not good enough for her, I would make her miserable!"

Paul snorted back a laugh. "You got that right! At least the man you are now is certainly not good enough for her…and you could make anyone miserable!"

"Gee, thanks!" Houston said sarcastically. "Though you guys were supposed to be helping me, not raking over old coals!"

Paul nodded and stood up quickly. "Well, if it's help you want…and help you certainly need…then…let's go!" And with that he reached for Houstons arm

A warm bright light flashed in front of Houston who raised his arm to shade his eyes, as he dropped his arm down he blinked several times, then looked around the bright and comfortably furnished living room he was now standing in. "Where are we?" he asked quietly.

"Wait and see!" came the reply Houston turned as he heard a familiar voice call out. "C'mon you guys it's time to trim the tree

"CJ" Houston mouthed as he friend came staggering through the door carrying a large box of ornaments to an empty tree in the corner that Houston hadn't noticed before. Just then a tall good looking man came bounding in the room and grabbed the box of her saying, "You know you shouldn't be carrying anything honey!"

CJ smiled and laughed as she said "IT was just a light box of ornaments, remember with Francesca I was decorating the dining room and moving that big table around when I was four months gone!"

"Hmm!" the man said, "Only cos I was on call that weekend and not here to stop you!" He put the box down and walked over to pull her into his arms before kissing her. S he pulled back he whispered, "but the advantage of being a partner in the new medical centre? I get to spend more time with my wife and make sure that this time she does follow all of her doctors orders!"

CJ cocked an eyebrow at him before she replied. "Uh huh…that's how come I ended up pregnant again!" She was just giving Houstons favourite saucy smile when the man leaned in and kissed her again

Houston felt his jaw tighten, and he had to take a deep steadying breath as every instinct made him want to walk over and pull the two apart. He felt his hands clench at his side and as CJ and the man seemed to get more entangled with each other he felt his own chest tighten. Suddenly the door burst open and in ran three young children. Two boys who seemed to be about six or seven, and were definitely twins as they looked so alike…and skipping in just behind them a mini CJ complete with a flowing mane of brunette curls and the biggest eyes, Houston took one look at her and his heart melted. "Ewww!" one of the young boys cried out, "mommy and daddy are going all kissy kissy again…gross!"

CJs husband laughed before quickly turning and sweeping the youngster up in his arms.

CJ was laughing when the phone started to ring, she was still chuckling when she picked it up. "Hello! Oh hi! How are you? Uh huh….yeah…oh! Oh no! No…I'm…I'm so sorry, truly! Have you had a chance to, well sort anything out? Can I help at all? Yeah…yes of course, I can do some ringing round no problem…do you need any help towards, well…the expenses? Well, if you do…just ask ok? Yeah, take care…and see you soon…again, I'm sorry" She replaced the receiver and turned to walk towards the open window, wrapping her arms around her as she stared out. Her husband noticed and walked to stand behind her, silently asking if she was ok, sensing she wasn't ready to talk. Instead he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her back against him, gently rocking her, smiling as their three children sensed mummy needed a cuddle and came to stand around her, each wrapping their arms around her as best they could

"Nice family." Paul whispered in Houstons ear

"Yeah" Houston took another deep breath before adding "But she deserves it! See, told ya she'd be happier without me. Three kids huh?"

"And another on the way!" Paul grinned as he walked over to CJ and her family.

Houston followed and instinctively placed his hand on CJs tummy, hastily pulling it back as he saw CJ react. "You ok?" her husband asked quickly

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine…just and odd feeling…guess I have to get used to them again huh?" CJ turned in her husbands arms and softly told him. "I gotta go make some phone calls, are you ok to help the ankle biters here to sort out the decorations? I won't be long…be back before you start to decorate!" She pecked his cheek and ruffled her sons hair before walking towards her study, not aware that both Paul and /Houston were walking with her. They watched as she sat down at her desk and sighed before reaching for a small address book from the top drawer. She dialled and smiled a fraction as she heard the call picked up. "Hi Chris, it's CJ!"

Before he could hear anymore of the conversation Houston felt a hand on his shoulder, saw the familiar flash of light, and found himself in a neat but cosy front room…again he blinked, smiling slightly as he recognised his old secretary, Chris, curled up in an armchair listening to someone on the other end of the phone. "Yes of course, I would like to be there…but it depends on when it is…and if I can get the time off…being a school secretary has certain responsibilities you know, I have to be there during school hours…can't just take off whenever I want! And then of course there is Darren, he would want to come with me…he uh doesn't like me to travel alone, he worries about me! Yeah really…that's why when I wanted a BMW he reminded me that they go too fast and that's how accidents happen, it was smarter for me to just have the little run around…and besides it was better to spend the money on his truck…he uses it for work everyday…mine is just sat in a car park while I'm in the office!"

As she carried on talking Houston looked around the room, noticing most of the furniture was something you would find in a bachelor pad, there was huge flat screen TV and a small fridge for cans or bottles next to the big recliner set directly in front of it. He looked back at Chris and noticed her hair wasn't as well styled as he was used to seeing it, and she was wearing a plain pair of slacks with an old looking jumper…she had no make up on, and as he looked closer he noticed her nails were chewed

"Chris did move back to Ohio after she quit" Paul told him after noticing him looking. "She her savings to buy this house out right, got herself a job at a local law firm…met up with her old high school sweetheart and got married…he promptly bought himself a brand new truck and all the boy toys you see…got her to quit her job at the law firm as she worked long hours there and he didn't like it…he doesn't like a lot of things…!"

"But she loves him?" Houston asked softly

Paul sighed. "She feels it's all she is worth, so she is lucky to have him. Not sure if love comes in to it!"

Houston closed his eyes, but before he could say anything else Paul touched his shoulder and the bright light flashed again