Chapter 3:

Raphael climbed the fire escape, quickening his pace as the urgent rumbling in his stomach doubled. Sliding the bedroom door behind him, he promptly grabbed his pale blue waistbucket as he dropped to his knees, heaving violently as his body fought to be rid of whatever was in his stomach. After a few dry heaves, he finally chocked up some stomach acid, coughing at it's foul taste and the way that it mercilessly burned his throat.

Finally he was able to rock back onto the balls of his feet, taking several deep breaths to try to calm himself. He had had the same dream- the same nightmare- again. He leaned back until he sat down hard on his to lean his head into his arms, fighting another wave of nausea and trying to stop his body's insistent trembling.

He rubbed his eyes, trying to rid himself of the images that flashed so vividly across his mind. He was running, running… April, battered and bloody, sitting on the concrete sidewalk. Her insistent pounding on his chest, telling him to 'do something'. The overpowering feeling that something horribly wrong was about to happen as he looked briefly into her large, green eyes. And, finally, the sight of a creature just like him being blasted out of a window, ribbons of blood trailing from various wounds following the turtle's body as it sailed through the air…

He needed something to arch his mind away from the dreams for a little while. Maybe if he could forget about his sleeping troubles for a few minutes, he could approach his situation more calmly.

It didn't take long for Raphael to find something to distract him. In his haste, he hadn't gotten to shutting his door completely.

Voices, risen in anger, could be heard wafting up from in the central area and underneath the crack in the door. Interested, Raphael cocked his head to the side, listening to who was arguing. Leo… Leo and Mike. Wait a sec… Leo and Mike? That can't be right…Still trembling, Raph got up from his sitting position and made his way to the short hall that led to his room and, cloaked in the shadows, leaned against the wall as he listened.

"…But why does it have to be you?"

"I repeat myself for the third time, Mikey… Innocent people are dying. I am honor bound to-" Leonardo's voice stopped abruptly and there was a screeching noise.

"Dammit, Leo, don't you get it? I don't care how many 'innocent' people die, as long as it isn't one of my brothers!" Damn, Mike's pissed. What could Leo do to set him off like that?

"How can you be so selfish? I'd expect a comment like that from Raph, but never from you." Yeah… he'd expect that kind of comment from me… the asshole. "Don't you remember, after what we went through as a family after Splinter's death? Don't you think that the families of the victims that were already shot are grieving as well? Do you even care?"

Mike said something about grief. Leo mentioned Casey and April. Something inside Raphael twanged horribly at the names, pulling his attention from the conversation as he caught his breath. Cramps from puking… The shouting suddenly stopped, distracting from the pain and redirecting to the conversation below.

There were a few moments of silence, during which Raph imagined Mike standing there, simmering. However, when the youngest turtle spoke, the volume of his voice had surprisingly returned back to normal. "Because there is no greater good. It took me a few hundred people screaming at the sight of me to realize that."

Yet another pause. The argument was winding down, and Raph knew from experience that Leo was gathering words for his closing statement… That was, if Mike allowed the discussion to close.

"Was it the people screaming, or the fact that a human took Splinter away from us?" Raph almost winced outwardly. Even he knew that with that comment, Leo had pushed the limits a little too far. Nice move, Fearless. When the reply came, the tone of Mike's voice fell even more, and Raph found that he was straining his ears to hear it.

He couldn't make out the words. But the emotion in Mike's voice was indication enough.

Suddenly, Leo's voice rose to a shout, calling to Mikey.

"Mike, come back here! Listen … Mike!"

Now Raph could hear someone rapidly making their way up the fire escape. He swore under his breath and pulled back in to his room, not closing the door in fear that whoever it was –probably Mike- would hear the hinges squeak and figure out that he had been eavesdropping.

Mike's ragged breath could be heard coming down the hallway, and then there was a muffled thud just past his hall and the sounds of the breathing stayed in one place. Raph sighed inwardly. He recognized the noise, knew from their childhood years that Mike was fighting to keep his composure. Raph stood to make his way to the hall again, but it was at the last moment that he changed his mind.

No… forget it.

The little scratch-up he'd had moments ago with the younger turtle had probably contributed to Mike's current state. And he wasn't in the mood for apologizing.

He backed back up into his room, hand out behind him, searching for his lamp. Suddenly, his foot caught on the blankets that he had left in the middle of the floor earlier and Raphael fell backwards, grabbing on to his bedside table for support but instead knocking it underneath him as he fell shell first. There was a crashing noise as the table cluttered to the cement flooring, followed by the sound of splintering wood as Raph fell hard on it. A few broken shards of wood stabbed into the palms of his hands and grazed his legs.

Before he had recovered from the first wave of pain and before he could stop himself, Raphael swore loudly out of impulse. "Shit!"

Outside of his bedroom door, a shadow flitted across the light. "Raph?"