A Roman Holiday
Chapter 9
It was hard to believe that they had only been in Rome less than a week with so much that had happened. Chiaki heaved a big sigh of relief as he gave his complete attention to Nodame who was now sleeping soundly on his lap at the Carabineri headquarters. A part of him blamed himself for not taking better care of her but in reality, what they had gone through in the past day or two was beyond anything that he or anyone could have ever imagined. It gave him a scare and a jolt… a life and death situation that could have ended badly. He shuddered at the thought… they came so close… Still Nodame managed to save the day in her own indomitable style. He had to smile, in spite of himself. She was the most foolish and yet, bravest person he knew. Once she had an idea in her head, she was like a dog with a bone. Or the proverbial cat with nine lives. But her courage went beyond that… he knew that she had faced many set backs in her life since childhood but she somehow managed to soldier on. It was one of the things he loved about her. Even when he felt like giving up on her, she never gave up on them. From the day, they met they became an oddly formed unit… her charms he resisted strenuously but her music bewitched him. To his extreme dismay, she made him realize that she was here to stay. There was everything to indicate that this particular unit would not survive the test of time but it had… so far…
If there was something that Chiaki could be grateful to Steinhausen for, it was that the entire incident reminded him that he had in his grasp something so precious that it should never be taken for granted. With everything he had achieved for himself, Nodame was irreplaceable. Success would come and go but she would be his constant. It was as he said to Bethstein, without her, the music would never sound the same. He used to wonder how he managed to put up with her… these days he only wondered how he would get through life without her.
"Marina, you should know, your mother was a good wife to me. She never ever gave me reason to think..."
"I know, Father… but to live her life torn between many loves. It was so sad."
The prince nodded. "I always suspected that there was something haunting her but I never pressed the point." He paused a few moments before saying. "She could have made all the difference for Boris."
"Even now you say this… even after what he's done?"
"It is because of what happened I now see how the true of extent of what might have been for him. Chiaki tells me that the violin chaconne is a masterpiece and we should publish it." The prince had a look of regret in his eyes. "What a waste… 'Love makes fools, marriage cuckolds, and patriotism malevolent imbeciles.'"
"Is it all bad, father? What about Nodame and Mr Chiaki? They seem perfect together." was the princess' impassioned plea.
"It's not all bad… 'Men have died from time to time and worms have eaten them, but not for love.'" Her father looked fondly at her and turned to ask her, "So what are you going to do about Albert?"
The command performance of the Santa Cecilia Academy Orchestra in honour of His Royal Highness the Crown Prince of Japan was an unmitigated success. The orchestra and its guest conductor took their bows to a standing ovation and a wildly enthusiastic applause from the audience. For a whole range of reasons, it was an emotionally charged programme. No doubt, the young conductor had played out a whole gamut of feelings which reflected his response to recent events. It is done… thought the relieved conductor. It was over.
Amidst the plaudits and accolades, Chiaki Shinichi, the guest conductor, had eyes only for one soul in the auditorium of the Parco della Musica. He espied her from his podium… she was wearing a white chiffon frock, adding her acclamation to the chorus around her. Her tears glittered under the lights as they were streaming down her face … For him, nothing else mattered much. At the end of the day, he may have played for presidents and princes but he alone knew that it was a serenade…you are the queen of my heart…
He would have preferred to have her all to himself… take her away from the crowds but he perceived that he would have to share her just a little bit longer. The Maltovian government was throwing a post-performance reception in their honour and in celebration of the princess' safe return. It was the kind of invitation that one did not turn down.
It was then he caught a glimpse of how much she'd had to share him with the rest of the world, how well she understood what his raison d'etre was. He recalled the night they were strolling down the streets of Rome. She had been right in what she said… they had both been bestowed great gifts in service of humanity. Music was not just an individual expression of who they were as people but it was meant to be a shared experience. They were as much instruments as they were souls in search of truth. He considered himself blessed to have found his soul mate despite the unpromising start that began it all.
He was standing at the back of the room entranced by her Liebestraum No. 3 and observed the audience being gradually pulled in with every note, every measure, every phrase. They sat mesmerized by the masterful cadenza followed by the gentle fluid echoes signifying love's greatest hopes.
He came to the creeping realization that he would always have to share her with the world. Nodame, in her simple wisdom had already accepted this unspoken condition of sharing a life with him. It was who they were. But he would have to fight hard to find a space that was theirs alone.
"You are a lucky man, Chiaki…" Bethstein came and joined him. Their eyes fixed on the tenacious pianist and her fingers rolling all over the keys with the greatest of ease.
"I never tire of hearing her play… I don't think I ever will…"
"I should hope not." Bethstein remarked slyly. "You'll have to listen to this day in and day out… for the rest of your life… But it's not what I meant."
"Huh?" Chiaki turned to look at Bethstein.
"For you to be able to find someone or the someone who can share your greatest passion with. That is a rare thing. You should treasure it and never let it go."
Chiaki nodded. "I know…"
"If, however, you ever consider giving up music… you can always look us up in Maltovia. We are always looking for good people to be part of our security detail. Miss Noda, of course, will get preferential treatment based on past performance."
Chiaki grinned broadly… their misadventures in Rome… that would be quite the story to tell the grandchildren about.
"Chiaki… don't be in too much of a hurry to get out of here… Stick around for a while. The prince has an important announcement to make." So saying, Bethstein walked away and proceeded to take his place next to the princess.
That last comment excited Chiaki's curiosity… he wondered what the announcement would be. He wouldn't have to wait long. Nodame had finished her performance to a hearty round of applause. She got up and took her bows. The princess went over to her, gave her a hug and kissed her in the customary European way. Nodame's eyes swept the room for signs of Chiaki and noticed him smiling his appreciation at the back of the room. She beamed with affection then found her seat beside the princess. After a brief interval of sorts, Prince Max got up to address the crowd. The guests immediately stopped their chatter and gave him their full attention.
"Ladies and gentlemen… I would like to say on behalf of my daughter, Princess Marina and I that we are honoured by your presence here with us tonight. There was a moment there yesterday that we weren't certain if we would still be among the living. It has made us the more grateful to be among friends now that the crisis has passed. We want to thank our friends, Miss Noda and Mr Chiaki for their bravery and the reason why we're standing here tonight is in no small part due to their quick thinking and bravery.
"Many of you know that the crisis had something to do with our cousin Count Boris Steinhausen, whom you may have heard is terminally ill. It's been a tragic story but we hope at least in his final days that he can find some peace in his home country.
"I am sure you don't need me to tell you that life is full of strange encounters and meetings… one can never predict what encounters will come our way but we can be sure that we can take something away with us every time they do occur. Some encounters enrich us and make us better people, others may threaten us… force us to rethink everything that we hold dear. The truth is that they are all opportunities in disguise for growth, for seeing another facet of ourselves and those around us.
"This is the legacy I want to leave my daughter and her children… I want her to fight for what is important to her and have no real regrets at the end of her life. I also want them to fight for love in all its aspects. Passion, friendship, kindness and self-sacrifice are some of the many aspects of love… one without the others and love is unbalance, incomplete… less than what it could be.
"All that said, I would also like to take the opportunity to announce my daughter's engagement to Mr Albert Bethstein." There was a soft murmur in the crowd. "Mr Bethstein regretfully tenders his resignation as the head of my security and is now preparing to be the future consort to the crown princess. I don't envy him." A few chuckles were heard. "But I wish them both all the best a father can give."
"Congratulations, your highness… That is wonderful news!"
"I'm so happy, Nodame. Thank you."
"Eh?"
"It seemed that father had an inkling for some time about Albert and I… but… your courage inspired me to face up to search my own heart and face up to the truth."
"Your highness… that's fantastic but I really cannot take any credit for what's happened."
"You have been such a good friend. I am going to miss you."
"As will I also. It has been fun, hasn't it?"
"Life is such an adventure with you. There truly is no one in the world like you."
Chiaki had no idea how he managed to allow himself and Nodame to get talked into staying on at the embassy quarters. Mostly it was Nodame who talked him into it. The princess and her spent much of the night talking excitedly about weddings and other things that apparently occupy the female psyche.
With the excitement of recent events still playing over and over again in his mind, Chiaki found himself unable to sleep and wondered how Nodame was coping. He got up and out of his room to go into hers. Knocking on her door and receiving no response, he assumed that she was fast asleep. That idiot's probably completely worn out. And this was suppose to be a holiday for her. He decided that they would probably need a holiday to get over this holiday when they left Rome.
He went back to his room and looked out of his window to the back garden. To his great surprise, he saw Nodame still in her gown doing a balancing act around the water fountain in the embassy's garden. She's still awake?
He sat for a while watching her – twirling, skipping and jumping around the hexagonal rim and then slumped onto the grass in sheer exhaustion. Everything she does, she to the extreme. He shook his head in mock despair. It was then he decided to join her outside.
She was still lying on the grass when he strolled towards her.
"Senpai… you're up too?" She turned to face him.
"Can't sleep?"
"No. Thought I'd go for a walk. But this looked a lot more appealing."
"Why didn't you come and get me?"
"I thought you were asleep… you looked so tired… You've been working so hard and you've been putting in overtime hours worrying about me."
I can't hide anything from you, can I? "So have you…"
"I'll live… I'll catch up on the sleep I need later." She brushed it off casually. "What a beautiful night. I think I might just lie here under the stars the whole night."
"What if it rains?" Chiaki questioned.
"It's not going to rain… look at that… does it look like it's going to rain to you?"
"What if it does…" Chiaki insisted on pressing the point.
"If it does… I shall bask in its drops and allow them to roll off my skin."
"You are mad, you know… you'll catch cold doing that." He reached out for her hand. "Your hand is cold."
"Well, it won't be if you hold on to it."
"Is this some kind of trick to get me to hold your hand? You know, you don't have to resort to these kinds of tactics anymore to get my attention." Chiaki said suspecting some kind of tomfoolery a foot.
"I know…" Nodame responded in a tone of voice that gave him no clues as to her frame of mind.
"That was a nice reception." Nodame commented off-hand as if to change the subject. "I definitely prefer being behind a piano than being behind bars."
"You played well, Nodame. Your Liebestraum was heartfelt and you certainly had the audience in the palm of your hand. It was an appropriate piece considering what came later."
"I'm glad you think so, I hoped Princess Marina liked it too."
"I'm sure she did."
Nodame fell silent for some moments and found her tongue again.
"Happy endings are nice, aren't they, senpai?"
"Yes they are."
He'd noticed that she had been uncharacteristically quiet all evening and had brushed it off as tiredness. But it was more than that… she seemed preoccupied with something. Did something happen to her when she was on the run despite all claims to the contrary? It troubled him that the usually easygoing Nodame was brooding and being reticent.
"What's wrong, Nodame… you don't look happy."
"Oh don't mind me… I'm just thinking…"
"What about?"
"About Mr Bethstein and Princess Marina."
"Aren't you happy for them?"
"Of course, I am. It's just that…" It seemed like she was grasping around for the right words. "Why do you worry about me so much, senpai?"
Chiaki was flabbergasted. Do you even have to ask? "Well, in case you haven't noticed, you nearly got yourself killed 24 hours ago and now you wonder why I worry about you?" He looked at her cynically.
"But why does it matter to you if I do get killed?"
"Is that a serious question? Or is this purely academic?" Chiaki was mystified by her line of questioning.
"I'm serious, of course…"
He turned to scrutinize her and she appeared to be in earnest. "Of course it matters."
"But why?"
"Because I would miss you." Nodame, what do you really want me to say?
"Do you love me, senpai? I mean, really, really love me? I know you care about me… but do you love me the way a man does when he makes love to a woman?"
Shinichi was blown away by the directness of the question. He had been skirting around the issue for the longest time. What's brought this on? They had been together for almost 6 years now and were going to be married in the fall. It was last thing he expected her to be asking him. Doesn't she know? His first thought was to make light of it…
But he seeing the look on Nodame's face… so serious… so full of doubt, he gave it more attention.
"Have I said or done something to make you doubt my feelings for you?"
"That's just it. What do you feel about me? It's just that you've never said that you love me and I'm wondering why. Is it because you have doubts… or that you don't trust me enough?"
Reflecting momentarily, Chiaki remembered what he had said to Bethstein that time and how even with all that he was thinking and feeling, he still couldn't say it.
"There are no doubts and of course, I trust you."
"Then why, senpai…"
"Nodame, it's not you…"
"Then what is it?"
"It's just that I'm not really good with saying such things."
"Even though we're going to be married soon? You still can't say it to me?"
"It's not that easy …"
"Do you have doubts about me? If you do, please tell me now."
"It's not you, Nodame, it's me. I am my father's son… "
"Yes, but you're not your father…"
"I sometimes think… what if the same thing that happened to my parents, happened to us? My saying it will cheapen the meaning and the power of those words."
"It doesn't have to. Not if you meant it here and now…"
Chiaki could see that Nodame was exceedingly overwrought. She'd been through so much the last two days. It suddenly occurred to him that she was afraid… all the trauma and stress of the kidnapping and trying to elude their captors had taken its toll in spite of the brave face she had shown to him and the world.
She could have died and I haven't even told her that I love her. That's what upsetting her so much.
"Nodame, I had no idea it meant that much to you…"
"I just want to know, senpai… I need to know…" The tears were rolling down her cheeks.
He knew she was right. It was a moment of truth… one among many in their life together. If he failed her now, there would always be this unspoken barrier between them. For the sake of their future he had to set aside his own misgivings.
While his own mind was now in turmoil, she continued to speak hers.
"I don't want us to be married because I've become a habit with you. In the early days, I would have married you at the drop of a hat or even because I felt that you cared for me even the tiniest little bit. Senpai, we've been together a long time now… and people do things out of loyalty… I don't want that anymore. I want your love and if you cannot truthfully and honestly give me that, then I'd rather have my heart broken now. Because I know now that I want to be loved completely, honestly and passionately. Obligation is a terrible reason for marriage… so please tell me now… why you want our relationship to continue."
Chiaki was thunderstruck. The hentai that he had come to love had blossomed into a beautiful and contemplative woman. He was in danger of losing her… not to some mad man or to their respective careers but because of his own cowardice. She deserved better and she was asking for… no… demanding the best.
Speaking into the night sky, he asked:
"If you're a habit with me it is because I cannot imagine seeing a piano without you behind it… I cannot imagine not being awake in the middle of the night because you're up playing Chopin, Rachmaninoff or Liszt. I cannot imagine myself having dinner without seeing you across the table, devouring it all in 15 minutes. I cannot imagine going backstage and not seeing your tears or hearing you tell me how much you loved the performance. And I cannot imagine getting up on that podium night after night without seeing your face in the audience.
"And most of all, Noda Megumi, I cannot imagine life without you… you mad, idiotic, brilliant you. I don't know if I can truthfully say that I love you completely, honestly and passionately. But I do know that love is an empty, meaningless word if you weren't there to fill it."
He turned to look at her and saw her weep… uncontrollably, piteously and joyfully… her hands shielding her tears. Taking her hands, he drew her to his side. She was shaking like a leaf.
All she could manage through the curtain of tears was…
"I love you too, Chiaki Shinichi… From the day I found you sprawled outside my door."
Prince Maximillian stared out onto the rose bushes that his beloved Clarisse had planted all those years ago. Shifting his gaze slightly to the right, he noticed the young conductor and his pianist fiancee with their arms around one another loving openly, wholeheartedly and passionately.
Author's Note:
It is done... all done... All this fluff is making me sneeze.
Now you know the real reason why I wrote this entire story, it was so that I can write this last chapter. This chapter pretty much encapsulates everything I want to say about Nodame and Chiaki as a couple. It is my firm belief that while they will experience rough patches along the way, they are a couple for the long haul.
ChalakChalak: Thank you for your kind words. I suppose I am probably a fair bit older than the average anime fan and it does give me a little bit of an edge in writing stories like this. Also, English is more or less my first language, I read a lot and watch far too many films. But it is heartening to know that you like the dialogue... it's something I've had to work hard at in the last couple of years.
Lolita: Not sure if this is your idea of "undying love" but you get your declaration... ;)
Ebony10: Oh dear, the teacher in me worries about students being late for classes... I would hate to be the one responsible for luring you over to the dark side. But I'm glad that you love the story. :D
Lazzykane: Moi apologies... but I don't do weddings... ;) Mind you, I love weddings and a great supporter of the marriage estate. I'm all weddinged out this year though. But if you're all nice to me, I might do the honeymoon. :D There's a story here I read here that talks about Nodame ripping her dress at her wedding which appeals to me so I don't think there's much more I can add to that.
I know many of you have followed this story from the beginning and I was very surprised that two chapters in, some of you had already put this on your favourites list. So I says to the husband, "What if they don't like the rest of the story?" With his characteristic male logic he says, "They can always take it off." (rolls eyes) I hope that you did like the rest of the story and that the ending is to everyone's satisfaction. I really wanted to finish this last night actually because I'll be going on holidays soon but I got really caught up watching more fanvids. I have loved writing Nodame and Chiaki... and honestly, I have quite a few ideas in the pipeline but there's a Darker than BLACK story that's waiting to be updated so I think I will leave Nodame for a while. Meanwhile, I hope some of you can do one better. There really isn't enough fanfics for this fandom.