We walked back into Kan's mansion, hand-in-hand.
Kar, as usual, was the first to comment. "What the fuck is happening?"
"Kar, shut the fuck up."
"Look," said the peasentblooded freak Sollux, "fishdick has a bitch girlfriend."
"Sol, your virginity breeds mice, much like a cheese. I highly recommend you devour a bag of bulge and not comment on the status of my relationships."
What did he do now? Stand silent with a jaw-dropped expression.
"ERIDAN! What has gotten into you?" Fef was confused.
"Fef, please. Stay shut. You are not worth my time. You've done enough already tonight. But now I actually found the gift of rational thought. And I will use this ability to kindly tell you to leave me the fuck alone." Also, she was shocked. Just like her asshole boyfriend.
"Eridan, what's up?" Ar was confused.
"Meet my girlfriend, Vris." She was lost for words. Me and Vris just laughed.
"Eridan, congratulations!" Kan, unlike the others, looked happy for me. Which is why I loved her so.
"Thanks Kanaya." Vris had responded.
"I just had no clue you guys even liked each other!" she had giggled.
"Well," said my new gillfrond-ugh, girlfriend, "shit happens."
"And this is good shit?" Kar wisely added.
Then I said: "Fuckin' fantastic shit, Kar."
"Oh. Have fun, assholes." He scurried over to Kan and Ar, just as shell-shocked as everyone else.
"Eridan, baby..." Vris rubbed her waist against mine. "May I have this dance?" she asked.
"Of course." I replied. As we stepped onto the dance floor, Dave played "Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade. Much like our attempt at makin' Fef jealous, we danced on and on, her head resting on me. Then she whispered into my ear: "Merry Christmas, honey." She kissed me.
"Merry Christmas, my dear..."
Maybe this holiday won't be so bad after all.