These Pieces 3
My mother looks at me with a combination of anger, disappointment, and sadness. She's shaking her head as her hands lightly grasp the bracers on my forearms.
'You don't have to do this, it won't bring him back. It won't bring you peace.' I want to say something but she doesn't give me a chance. 'I love you Xena, and I want you to come back here alive. You and Gabrielle.' She emphasizes the last part.
'Mother I…' She raises her hand to stop me.
'I know you feel you have to do this. But please, I don't want to lose a child too.' Tears are threatening to spill from my eyes but I hold them back; all I can do is hug her.
'I promise we'll both come back.' She steps away to console Gabrielle who is clutching Cle to her as if her life depended on it. Hercules grasps my forearm in a warriors shake. He's smiling, but it's a dark one.
'Thank you for everything, I owe you.' I say with a thin smile.
'I'll keep them safe until you comeback.' I nod my head in thanks and try to walk away, but his grip is firm and unyielding. 'Don't lose yourself Xena. Remember what you've become.' His voice has gone to a lower more serious octave. We part without further words and I turn to see Gabrielle still clutching the plump child to her chest, sobbing quietly. If anything were to happen to either of them….. I walk over, taking his tiny hand in mine.
'You should stay.' I whisper, leaning in close to her.
'This is what we do.' Her voice is cracking.
'No, this is what I do.' Suddenly she's holding Cleon out to me and I'm doing all I can to keep my warrior façade up. I push against the surge of emotions and take him into my arms, his hands wrapping around my neck. I can't stop the tears that come, and Cle begins to wail loudly, confused by all the sad people around him. So here we all are, even Herc, just having one big group cry. I'm beginning to get on my own nerves with all this emotion.
It takes time, maybe even hours before we finally leave. Despite all of the emotions, it feels like old times, it feels like home with just me and Gabrielle on the road. The silence stretches out before us; me thinking about Caesar, and Gabrielle no doubt thinking about Cle. I'm selfish and I know it.
One thing drives me, overriding any doubts or fears I may have. But Gabrielle; she's doing this for me, not for her. The fear she feels must be overwhelming, and I have no idea what to say.
'So what's first?' She finally asks after an unusually long silence.
'I have to meet up with someone in the next town. We should get there just before sunset.' She nods; once again going silent, no questions asked.
'Gabrielle, are you ok?' Of course she's not; this is a stupid question with an obvious answer.
'No.' Well I have to admit, I wasn't really expecting her to say this. I thought she might say something a little bit more optimistic. 'Really, what is your plan for this?' Her eyes remained fixed forward on the road.
'I'll know when I get more information.' My plan is to kill him, simple. I usually go into things with an elaborate plan, but this time I just can't seem to see past my sword piercing his heart. Her continued silence is making me uneasy, but there is no way I'm going to let her presence distract me. Better to pull away, not to fall deeper into turmoil of emotions swirling within.