Chapter 4! haha. Before i start the chapter i want to thank mindandbodychaos for the private message, it meant a lot to me. I wanna say once again that English isn't my first language and my word isn't working anymore so i don't have something that checks my grammar, i'm sorry if that's a problem to you. Also thank you for following/favoriting/reading my story! Chapter 4.
- valentine's day -
Jane's pov.
I'm sitting in the car, on my way to my grandparents with frankie and my parents, earphones in my ears listening to be the one from the fray, looking out of the window thinking of Maura, what I would give to be with her now. Frankie is talking with my parents, something about his new girlfriend he met on twitter. I met Maura on twitter.. because of castle.. well i followed her because of castle but she was insecure about herself.. thinking this one girl was the only one loving her. I told her I love her too back then.. but that wasn't true.. I didn't even know her back then. Then later we started talking on What'sapp.. now I really love her, like crazy. In the start it was about making her smile, making her happy and feel better about herself. Now my happiness depends on hers. But yeah she doesn't want what i want. I just can't stop thinking about the 'Like friends i mean, i'm not a lesbian or anything haha' . She's not a lesbian. Or anything. I just feel stupid because for a moment i actually thought i had a chance, that she was actually asking me.
Casey: I want to come by, we need to talk.
Jane: i'm not at home, sorry.
Maura's pov.
I actually am a lesbian, I don't know why i haven't told her.. I love her so much. But then again I'm with Charlotte. What Jane doesn't know. I'm afraid of her reaction so i'm not going to tell her. I'm just laying on bed now, thinking of her.. of course. Jane is always on my mind.
Charlotte: Maur i can't take this anymore, i need to hurt myself
Maura: No you don't, you are strong, you can do this.
Charlotte: Maur..
Maura: Charlot.. you can.. just believe a little in yourself.
i love Charlotte too.. not like i love Jane.. it's different. I don't know. I just need to think about this more and be there for both of them. Jane doesn't know about Charlotte and Charlotte doesn't know about Jane so that's good. At least i think it's good.
'' Maura Isles, Down stairs, now! '' my mom yells from downstairs
I run down the stairs but miss one step and fall down. Damn today sucks.
Jane's pov.
We are sitting in the garden from my grandparents. I still have the earphones in my ears, listening to songs, love songs. I don't even know why. I pack a pen and paper and start writing a letter to Maura, with my feelings in it. Things like:
I don't expect it would be like this
1318 miles between us
sometimes I just want to hold you in my arms
You're fucking perfect
I love you
When i finish i read it over. I'm not going to send this.. I will lose her. I can't lose her.
i know this is a short chapter, the next one will be longer, i promise!
love it? like it? hate it? let me know!
xx
Yacintha