I do not own Lilo and Stitch.

The Baby Mertle Mishap

The moment it happened, Lilo regretted it. "Oh, this was a bad idea, wasn't it?"

"Naga," Stitch said with a cackle. He perched on the wooden fence behind her, a wide, wicked grin on his face.

Baby-fier floated above Stitch's head, regarding the situation with amusement. He had been more than happy to do what Lilo asked, especially considering her target was Mertle.

"I should have stuck with banana cream pies," Lilo sighed, leaning against the fence that lined Mertle's property. "PJ would have helped."

"Lilo got Mertle good!" Stitch said, not sharing Lilo's remorse in the slightest.

Baby Mertle was currently bawling her eyes out, tiny fists pounding into the perfectly manicured lawn. It was certainly a humiliating sight, but it didn't satisfy Lilo as much as she thought it would. Maybe Nani had a point—revenge really didn't make anyone feel good.

Seeing the guilt form on her features, Stitch nuzzled her cheek with his. "Mertle deserved it," he insisted. "She made Lilo feel bad."

Lilo scowled slightly, remembering the verbal barbs Mertle had flung her way in hula class. "Yeah, well, I'm supposed to be the bigger person. That's what Nani says, anyway." Baby Mertle's screams increased in volume and Lilo winced. "We better make the antidote before Mrs. Edmonds sees her like this." She reached up, wiggling her fingers, and Baby-fier happily flew lower to receive a head scratch. "Thanks, Baby-fier. But maybe next time, don't listen to me when I come to you with mischievous requests."

Baby-fier gave her a look that clearly said, Who do you think I am?

"Right," said Lilo with a smile. "You're always gonna be drawn to mischief. Jumba made you, after all."

Baby-fier bumped his head against her palm, exchanged a fist-bump with Stitch, and headed in the direction of the animal shelter. Lilo waved after him and, when he was out of sight, she returned her attention to the temper tantrum-throwing infant.

"I remember the ingredients to the antidote, but I don't remember the measurements. You?"

Stitch screwed his face up in thought. After a minute, his shoulders drooped. It had been too long since they needed the antidote for it to still be fresh in his memory. "Naga, soka."

"That's all right. We know where we can find it. I'll stay here and watch Mertle while you go home, sneak into Jumba's room and hack into his computer to get the recipe."

"Jumba home!" protested Stitch. If his creator caught him breaking into his computer without his permission, and for such a mundane reason, he would be very displeased. "You go, meega stay."

The eleven-year-old frowned at him. "Jumba's probably changed his password by now. You know I'm no good at that."

Stitch grumbled under his breath and reluctantly sprinted off for home. Baby Mertle's crying beginning to grate on her nerves, Lilo bent down and lifted her off the ground. A few gentle bounces sent Mertle into a sniffling silence.

"Hungry, Mertle?" Lilo asked. "I know I am."

Baby Mertle responded by swatting her across the face. Lilo quickly held Mertle out at arm's length and grimaced. "I deserved that one. Hey, no, don't bite me!"

...

Blue paint chipped off the Pelekai household as Stitch's nails dug into the siding. He crawled up to Jumba and Pleakley's bedroom window and he peeked through the glass to ensure the space was empty. He eased the window open and slipped inside.

He paused for a moment, his ears twitching as he tried to pinpoint their locations. He could hear Wasp Mummy playing in the living room, mingled with Jumba and Pleakley's commentary. Satisfied that they would be occupied for a while, he went over to Jumba's computer and booted it up.

The first password he tried did not work. Lilo was right—Jumba had changed it. "Nala kweesta!" he muttered. "Evil rocks?" He typed it in, but the dull buzz that emitted from the tiny speakers told him he got it wrong. "Uh...Jumba is number one?"

Another negative buzz.

Stitch groaned. He only had so many password attempts before he would be locked out, and then Jumba would definitely know his laptop had been messed with.

He looked around the room for inspiration. Jumba's blankets were rumpled and there were two bags of opened chips sitting on top of the sheets. Pleakley's bunk was perfectly tidy, with every corner tucked in and not a single wrinkle in the blanket. Tapping a claw against his chin, Stitch thought about the argument he overheard between the duo last night, and the insult Jumba had shouted at his roommate upon discovering Pleakley had thrown out some rare alien minerals in his cleaning purge.

"Pleakley is a brainless noodle thing."

Ding!

Stitch grinned triumphantly when he was granted access to Jumba's files. "Ha ha!"

He grabbed a spare piece of paper and quickly scribbled down the recipe. He cleared the history to prevent Jumba from detecting anything amiss and shut the computer down. He crawled out the window and around the house, taking the long way to the kitchen.

Meega hope Lilo is doing okay.

...

Sitting at one of the outdoor tables of Kiki's Coffee Hut, Lilo tried to keep a wriggling Baby Mertle in her lap. She had ordered a plain applesauce for Mertle, but instead of eating it, the redhead found joy in splattering it all over Lilo.

"I give up!" Lilo exploded. She moodily shoved the rest of her donut holes into her mouth and stood up, balancing Mertle against her hip. She threw out the remainder of the applesauce and started to walk towards the beach. Halfway there, Mertle burst into tears once again and Lilo felt something wet against her muumuu.

"No," she said in horror. "This isn't happening."

But it was.

With an agonized groan, she pulled her allowance out of her pocket and quickly counted the bills and change. She had enough to buy Baby Mertle replacement shorts, but nothing else. "Great. So much for the arcade."

She stopped by the general store, which had a small selection of baby clothes. She grabbed the cheapest pair of shorts and brought them up to the counter. The shopkeeper looked at her oddly as she paid, but Lilo kept her expression innocent and Mertle's face angled away. "Babysitting, am I right?"

She didn't wait for the shopkeeper to respond. She hurried out of the store and continued on to the beach. She laid Mertle against the sand and tried to switch out her soiled pants with a fresh pair, but it proved to be difficult thanks to Mertle's wild wiggling.

"Hold still! Ugh, I am never having kids!"

It took several minutes to get Mertle changed. "I can't even be mad," grumbled Lilo, tossing the old shorts into the nearest trash can. "I did this to myself."

Baby Mertle responded by curling up into a ball with a wide yawn. She soon fell asleep and Lilo sighed with relief. "Finally. Peace and quiet."

She carefully pulled Mertle into her lap, getting her out of the sand. She beamed upon spotting a familiar blue form barrelling across the beach towards her. "Stitch!"

"Got it!" Stitch grinned victoriously, holding out the baby bottle filled with antidote.

He wandered up to the slumbering baby and jabbed her in the side. Mertle woke up instantly with a howling wail. Stitch stuffed the bottle into her open mouth and Mertle instinctively sucked on it.

"Okay, she drank it. That's our cue—let's get out of here!"

Lilo and Stitch took off. There was a flash of light and eleven-year-old Mertle picked herself up from the sand. She spat out the bottle, the coffee bitter and strong against her tastebuds, and her face bloomed red with fury.

"Weirdlo! You are so dead!"