Hi-ya. I have made this chapter exceptionally long for two reasons. (Don't be expecting these kinds of long chapters in the future, I mean my fingers have practically withered into bones when I was done typing. lol, but I don't mind the pain when it comes to writing for you guys X3 )
1. It's a reward for those that reviewed, you guys are the best I love reading your reviews, I am a review whore, the more you review the more motivated I am to update my chapters.
2. To celebrate the beginning of Summer Vacation and the end of Final Exams WOOT.
Special thanks to Meow-Mix-91
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
Author's comments: Itachi is a big man-whore/pervert, but he will have his serious moments. Also I've introduced new characters I won't say who, you'll just have to read to find out... oh and forgive my grammer please
Sasuke watched as Hinata devoured the food. She scarfed it down like a stray dog; weird sounds escaped her mouth with every bite she took. In a matter of 30 seconds there wasn't a single trace of pizza left on the plate, Hinata made sure of that, when she hungrily licked her fingers and the plate as well.
"Um…. Did you want another slice?"
Hinata nodded her head vigorously. Sasuke grabbed another slice and put it on her plate. Hinata hesitated a moment and grabbed the pizza stuffing it in her mouth. Sasuke couldn't help but stare at how she ate. Well I suppose a girl with a good appetite is better than one with none at all. After she is very underweight, might as well start gaining some now. Sasuke slowly ate his slice. He looked out the glass doors, it was getting very dark. Ominous clouds galloped their way to Konoha. He saw Hinata yet again go for another slice of pizza, what was it her fifth? For such a small girl she sure can eat a lot. Hinata grabbed yet again another slice. Is her stomach an endless pit?
"So …um… you like the food?" commented Sasuke, trying to make conversation.
Hinata nodded with a whimsical smile. Her cheeks puffy from all the pizza she stuffed in them. Sasuke smirked at the sight. She looks like a squirrel.
A large boom could be heard from outside.
"Looks like it's going to rain" muttered Sasuke.
Upon hearing the thunder Hinata stopped eating. She never did like thunder, it frightened her greatly. She pushed her plate away with a pale face.
Hinata was about ten, although it did rain a lot in Konoha thunder was a little rare. But when thunder did come it shook both heaven and earth. Lightning's swift strikes were always followed by a crackle of thunder.
Little Hinata laid huddled in a corner in the basement.
BOOOM!
Each crackle of thunder brought Hinata closer to the edge of complete paralyzing fear. The sound of her mother pleasing a customer was more appealing than thunder's murderous booms. Small tears brimmed the edge of her eyes.
BOOOOM!
"Please somebody stop the thunder"
She silently muttered to herself that there was nothing to fear from thunder. Thunder was simply the result of lightning heating up air particles causing it to violently expand and contract. Thunder is just sound, but why was it so frightening? It's as if heaven itself was trying to tell her that she wasn't wanted. The door to the basement opened, but Hinata couldn't hear it for the thunder deafened her fragile ears. Hinata barely had time to react when she felt a hard kick against her leg.
"Shut the fuck up stupid girl, I'm trying to sleep and all I hear is your fuckin crying!"
Hinata fell limply to the side rocking back and forth, crying even louder. Her mother continued to hit her until Hinata eventually stopped.
"Please stop"
BOOOOOM!
"Please stop" she silently prayed.
"Please stop!"
"Stop!"
"STOP!" she screamed.
Sasuke jumped slightly from her outburst.
"Stop what?" he asked.
Hinata's body shook as the crackle of thunder came closer and louder. She rose and fled to her room. I need to find a dark small spot. Some place where I'll be safe.
She walked into her room and hid inside the closet. She drew her knees to her chest, mumbling quietly to herself.
"Please stop"
"Please stop"
"Please stop"
"Hey why did you run in the closet, its just thunder there's nothing to be afraid of"
Sasuke opened the closet door to see Hinata huddle, slowly rocking her body back and forth.
"Hey stop that" he commanded taking her shoulder into his hands in an attempt to hold her still.
"Make it stop!" She cried. She grabbed onto Sasuke with a fierce grip.
Sasuke sat there confused, he never had much experience comforting girls, he awkwardly wrapped his arms around her. He tangled his fingers in her hair and brought her head to his chest.
"It's just thunder", he whispered in her ear.
"I know …I know it's just sound, but still…
"These fears you have, you have to get rid of them, people will take advantage of you, especially this fear you have of women, I know your life has been hell but when you let your fears control you it'll just get worse"
"I don't know how to stop them"
"Well you have to, half the people at school are girls, the principle is a girl, and as for thunder, get used to it, if you want rain then expect thunder"
He looked at Hinata, and gazed into her sleek pale eyes. Her face was so close to his, Sasuke's body began heating up. Her body was pressed extremely close to his, her chest would rub against him with every breath she took. Her hot breath sent chills all over his body.
Hinata could hear a loud thumping, she leaned her head closer to Sasuke's chest to realize his heart was beating quite fast. Suddenly Sasuke got up and dragged her out of the closet.
BOOOOM
Hinata shrunk back into the closet, eyes wide in fear. Sasuke grabbed her by her hands and brought her out.
"Come on its just thunder don't be a wuss" he smirked
Hinata blushed His hands are so large and warm.
The pitter patter of rain could be heard against the window.
BOOOOOM
The thunder rattled the window slightly, and then everything went black.
"AHHHHhhhh I'm blind! I can't see!"
"Don't scream! The lights just went out" growled Sasuke.
"Oh"
Sasuke stumbled his way to the door.
"Follow me"
"Where are you, I can't see anything"
"I meant follow my voice stupid"
Hinata walked awkwardly to where Sasuke's voice was, groping what ever she could to get to the door. She stumbled over her feet and fell with a thud on the carpet, knowing this incident will only happen again she decided to crawl to the door instead. She stopped in front of what seemed to be a pair of feet.
"Holy shit! Hinata that better be you"
"Oh, sorry, are those your feet"
"Yes stop doing that it tickles."
"Sorry but I can't see a thing"
Hinata felt her way up Sasuke's lean muscular legs she continued groping until she felt his chest her hands smoothly passed over his neck and finally she managed to feel his face, his breathing was irregular and Hinata could feel the warmth radiating off his face. While Hinata groped her way up Sasuke he couldn't help but get the feeling his pants were getting tighter. Shit this isn't good, breath Sasuke breath, think of something that turns you off… okay fangirls… no worse fanboys. The sensation in his pants immediately left.
Sasuke felt Hinata's hands against his face and grabbed them.
"Could you not do that!"
"Do what?" she innocently asked unaware of the sensations she was making Sasuke feel.
"Never mind, there are some candles in the kitchen, hold on to my arm and don't let go"
Hinata held firmly to his arm and scuttled behind him.
He walked to the kitchen and felt the cabinets to find candles. He grabbed two and lit them.
"Here" he muttered handing her a candle.
Hinata took the lit candle and walked into the living room. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to find Sasuke looking around the room with a dull look.
He let go of her and walked to one of the brown couches. He placed the candle on the coffee table and sighed in boredom. So what now?
BOOOOM
Hinata gasped and slyly trotted back to her room.
"Don't even think about going back in the closet" he growled.
"Get over here"
BOOOOM
Hinata practically sprinted to the couch and sat in the opposite corner of Sasuke whimpering like a puppy. Her body quivered silently awaiting for the next rumble of thunder. Looks like she isn't getting over this fear any time soon.
Sasuke stood up and walked to his room to retrieve some old headphones he had.
"Here put these on, the music will be so loud you won't be able to hear the thunder"
He placed the headphones snuggly over Hinata ears.
"THANK YOU" she voiced unable to hear how loud her own words were due to the blaring of the headphones.
Sasuke winced.
It continued to rain for about another hour, Hinata had fallen asleep not long after the headphones were on her. Her face twisted into frowns every other five minutes, She must be having nightmares.
"Don't…"
"Mom…."
"I'm… gunna …die"
Sasuke got up and went over to try and wake her up.
"Hey, you're having a nightmare wake up"
He gently shook her shoulder.
"Don't … kill…me"
"H-help"
"Hey wake up!"
"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" she screamed waking up her breathes coming out ragged and irregular.
"Where am I?"
"What's wrong with you?"
Hinata looked around dazed wiping her tears from her eyes. She remembered that she doesn't live in that hellhole anymore What a horrible dream, It felt so real.
"Sorry" she whispered silently.
"It's already getting late just go ahead and go to bed, it stopped raining so the thunder shouldn't be a bother"
Just as he finished his sentence the front door opened and in walked in a weary Itachi bearing a twisted smile.
"Why are all the lights turned off, you two having been doing something naughty now would you?"
"Shut up, the power shut off from the thunder storm earlier" growled Sasuke.
"Well it still pretty late, Sasuke go to bed I need to speak with Hinata for a moment"
Itachi's smile still lingered on his face. Sasuke found it very suspicious but headed to his room. Today was a tiring day.
After Itachi made sure that Sasuke had gone to his room he looked at Hinata.
"Hinata I think you dropped this picture at the station" smirked Itachi, handing the infamous picture to Hinata.
Hinata snatched the picture from Itachi aggressively.
"What makes you think it's mine"
Itachi's smile grew.
"Do you know who that man is?" asked Itachi
Hinata stayed silent. She peeked at the picture that she held fiercely in her hand. She frowned.
"He's….my…. father" she whispered hoping Itachi didn't hear.
"Ahh, so you did know?"
"Well what about him?" hissed Hinata.
"Do you know who he is?" she inquired.
Itachi's smile grew more and more like the Cheshire Cat's.
"Actually I do."
Hinata stared at Itachi mouth open.
"Who is he?!"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you that"
"Why!?"
"Confidential information"
"Don't give me that, tell me!"
"Shhh, do you want to wake up the entire neighborhood"
"Please tell me, I need to know who he is… I'll do anything"
"Hinata you must choose your words carefully, because when you say you'll do anything does that really mean you'll do anything"
"Of course!"
"Anything?"
"I already said I would now tell me"
Itachi pushed Hinata down on the couch and hovered very closely to her body.
"Very well I'll tell you but you have to do something in return" purred Itachi.
Hinata tried to push Itachi off her.
"Get off"
"What's the matter I thought you'd do anything?"
"I can't breath with you on me" she panted, using any excuse to get this heavy man off her.
"Tell me little Hinata do you know why those peculiar eyes of yours are white?"
"No, now get off" She squirmed under him trying to scoot him off her.
"It's a very rare genetic disorder inherited from your father, its called Byakugan Syndrome"
Hinata ceased to struggle, and listened intently. Byakugan Syndrome? How does he know all this?
"Both my brother and I suffer a similar disorder called Sharigan Syndrome, however neither the Byakugan or the Sharigan are dangerous to our bodies, it simply changes the pigment in our eyes when we're stressed or angry, in your case however the iris completely covers the pupil leaving your entire eye white"
"Why are you telling me all this, what about my father?!"
Itachi hovered over Hinata leaning closer to her ear.
"If you really want to know more we can always continue this conversation later…
…. But for now it seems like there's a certain eavesdropper listening who should have stayed in his room, right Sasuke?"
Sasuke stayed stiff behind the wall. Shit busted. But why the hell was Itachi on top of her? It's a good thing I stayed who knows how far Itachi would have gone with her.
"I wasn't eavesdropping, I heard her screaming so I came to make sure you weren't doing something you shouldn't, and it looks like I came just in time." Smirked Sasuke.
Itachi lifted himself off her and walked up to Sasuke.
"My apologies little brother, next time I'll make sure we'll completely alone, so we don't bother you" teased Itachi.
"I'll be out of town on investigation business for the next couple of days, I'll be back in time to help Hinata register for school so until then Sasuke you'll be in charge of her, I've also asked some friends to come and check on you guys just in case Sasuke tries to do something naughty while I'm gone"
"Like hell I'd do that" blushed Sasuke. At least I hope I don't. "Which friends did you ask?"
"It doesn't matter, also I've asked Kabuto to come, he'll give her some medicine to help with the pain, and whatever else needs to be done, her clothes will be delivered tomorrow afternoon, so Sasuke I'll need you to take care of that, I'll be gone by tomorrow morning, so good night"
Hinata tried following Itachi.
"Wait what about…."
"Don't worry I'll tell you more about 'that' when I get back, that is of course if you're willing to listen to my proposition, but we can worry about that until I return, so for now good night little Hinata."
Itachi then retired to his room, and not a sound was heard after that.
"What were you guys talking about" asked Sasuke, trying to make it seem nonchalant.
"It was nothing" countered Hinata walking groggily to her room, it's been a long day.
But Sasuke grabbed onto her arm and pushed her against the wall.
"Don't do something stupid" he warned.
"W-what are you t-talking about, let me g-go"
"Listen Itachi isn't the best person for a girl like you to talk to, I know he's the head investigator for your mom's murder case, but try to stay away from him as much as you can, I don't know what he wants, but he's done some things in the past that make him untrustworthy."
Hinata glared at him and wretched her arm from his grip.
"I know what I'm doing, I'm not going to do something stupid" she whispered.
Hinata walked into her room and closed the door silently behind her. Sasuke remained alone by himself.
I really do hope you know what you're getting into.
XxxXxxXxxXxx XxxXxxXxxXxxXxx
"Mr.Hyuuga, what was your relationship to Tsuki Nakahara? She was a former model for your agency am I correct?"
"Yes, yes she was"
Hiashi broke out in a cold sweat.
"Mr.Uchiha, please don't tell me she killed her…"
"I'm sorry killed who?"
"Did she kill Hinata?" choked a mournful Hiashi.
"I see, so you are aware that you have a daughter, Mr.Hyuuga?"
"Yes..."
"Your daughter is in good hands Mr.Hyuuga" Cant't really say the same thing about her mom though, heh
Hiashi sighed in relief.
"That's good to hear, I'm happy to know she is safe, may I ask where she is living at the moment?"
"I'm sorry I can't disclose such information Mr.Hyuuga"
"But I'm her father I have a right to know!"
"Her father, huh, if I may be so bold to say but if you were really her 'father' you would have realized what kind of life your daughter was living" retorted Itachi.
What is this man talking about? What kind of life has my daughter been living? I know I haven't contacted Tsuki since I left, but is it really as bad as this man makes it seem?
"…… perhaps it would be better if I came to Konoha to speak with you in person" rasped Hiashi.
"Actually Mr. Hyuuga I know you are a busy man so I have already bought a ticket to come and talk to you in Kumo,(A/N Kumo is a city in the anime, its located in the Lightning Country) I will be arriving Wednesday afternoon, when I arrive I hope to get your full cooperation on Tsuki Nakahara and Hinata"
"Yes of course, I will have a car ready to pick you up at the airport when you arrive, also Mr.Uchiha, I'd like to ask you before hand, everything we talk about must be kept confidential, if the media were to find out about this my entire reputation would shatter"
Itachi smiled wickedly over the line.
"Of course Mr.Hyuuga. Until Wednesday then."
"Beep….beep…beep"
Itachi looked over Hiashi Hyuuga's file again.
Former model and owner of Hyuuga Talent Agency, Hiashi Hyuuga. Billionaire. Inherited agency after father, Tamaki Hyuuga's death.
Blood Relatives: Hizashi Hyuuga (deceased from traffic accident). Neji Hyuuga (son of Hizashi, up and coming model, only heir to Hyuuga Talent Agency Not for long
Wife: Hikaru Hyuuga So he has a wife, huh, now I'm really interesting as to how Hinata came about
Children: none Obviously he kept Hinata a tight little secret from everyone, he certainly has fooled a lot of peopleA/N Hanabi will not be in this story)
"My my Hinata, your existence certainly is a big mystery isn't it" smirked Itachi
XxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxx XxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxx
The next couple of days at the Uchiha residence were short and quiet. Kabuto had come today just as Itachi had said. He didn't stay long, he just checked her blood pressure along with other health related things.
"Hinata how have you been sleeping?"
"Horrible", cut in a nosy Sasuke "She wakes the entire neighborhood with her screaming"
Kabuto raised an eyebrow at Sasuke, "Is this true Hinata?"
"Yes" she whispered looking at the floor. Kabuto lifted her chin to see her eyes.
"Well If these nightmares continue please tell me, that way I'll prescribe some sleeping pills so that you can have dreamless night, how about your leg does it still hurt, I see the tissue has closed and some of your scars are fading?"
"That cream you used on it made it a lot better"
"I'll leave you a bottle of it to put on every night before you go to sleep, by the time school starts most of the scars you have on your body should fade away"
"Well then Hinata I hope you've been having a comfortable stay here, there haven't been any problems have there?" he questioned suspiciously glancing at Sasuke.
"Oh no, everything here has been fine"
DING DONG
Hinata jumped at the sudden noise.
"What was that?!" she asked slightly panicked. Her eyes moving suspiciously around the room.
DING DONG
DING DONG
DING DONG
"Oi Sasuke open the freaking door!" came a loud deep voice.
"Yea Sasuke I wanna see the girl Itachi talked about, hmm.", erupted yet another smooth voice.
Sasuke smacked his head against his palm. God please don't tell me Itachi told 'those' guys to come.
"I'm coming hold your fuckin horses" Shouted Sasuke.
As Sasuke opened the door three men came jostling in.
The first man was tall he loomed about 3 ft. over everyone in the room; he had a dull countenance plastered on his face. His spiky hair that defied gravity had a blue hue to it, he was a built and fit man, probably strong enough to kill a bear, no, two with just his hands.
The second man was relatively short compared to the first yet he was quite handsome, his vibrant red hair shimmered with every stop he took, his face was smooth and flawless. He didn't say a single word but his aura made it clear that the third person was annoying him, ever so slightly.
Then came the third person, it was a tall woman with luscious blonde hair tied back loosely. She had no apparent curves but her face looked so feminine, her sparkling blue eyes sent terrible shivers down Hinata's spine, her stomach clenched, and she broke out in a cold sweat causing her to shake horribly.
"OOOOooo is this the girl?" commented the blonde woman, she surprisingly had an extremely deep smooth voice.
"Who else would it be smart ass" Growled the extremely tall one.
Hinata shook with fear. Why would Itachi tell a woman to check up on us? Her lips trembled.
"Hinata are you okay" inquired Kabuto taking note of her trembling.
"Yea you okay little kitten, Deidara will make it all better, hmm"
Deidara approached Hinata with open arms. Hinata screamed and fell back, sprinting to her room in hopes to find some sanctuary, while screaming at the top of her lungs.
"Don't touch me you harlot from hell!"
Sasuke ran after her in a graceful gait, everyone else save one man remained silent. The tall man broke out in a bellowing laugh.
"Bwahahahahahahaha! Oi Deidara she thinks you're a girl"
"Shut up! She was probably freaked out by your hideous face Kisame"
"Oi Sasori did you see the way she looked at Deidara, man I thought she was going to have a heart attack…BWAhahahahahaha!!"
The red haired man couldn't help but release a soft chuckle.
"Hey don't stoop down to his level Sasori, she probably couldn't take my devilishly good looks" smirked Deidara.
"Yea right you she-man! Bwahahahahahahaha!" Kisame began choking from the lack of oxygen.
Sasuke walked into Hinata's room and found her hunched in the closet.
"Hinata… um .. I don't know how to say this but everyone in that room is a man… no matter how weird they may look" blurted Sasuke, his lips twitched in humor from the misunderstanding. I can't believe she thinks that playboy Deidara is a girl? His lips twitched more.
Hinata glared at him in anger. Her body still shook, and tears brimmed the edge of her pallid lavender eyes.
"Lair!"
"Why would I lie about something like that!" he retorted slightly offended that she'd think of him as a lair.
"I'll show you I'm a man!" Busted in a flustered Deidara. "Look I don't have any breasts see"
Deidara lifted up his shirt to reveal a well toned chest, his muscles rippled nicely through his skin. Obviously that was not the body a lady should have.
"Get the hell out of here you womanizing pervert" snarled Sasuke.
"Are you convinced yet or not, because if you aren't I have other means of showing I'm a man…. Although it might intimidate certain blue haired men at how big I am" smirked Deidara getting back at Kisame for the crude things he had said.
Sasuke stood up and pushed Deidara out of the door.
"She's already afraid of women! Do you want her to fear men too you sick bastard!"
"Wait!" Deidara cried, but he was soon rudely ushered out the door. "Fine, keep the girl to yourself, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, little Sasuke"
Sasuke closed the door with an abrupt 'SLAM'. He glared at Hinata through the closet door.
"You", he pointed an angry finger at her "Get out of there, how many times to I have to tell you there's nothing scary about women, and that freak who came in was a m-a-n, he may be a disgusting pervert, but none the less a MAN!"
Hinata obediently crawled out, her body still creeping in shivers.
"I'm sorry, its just that he looked a lot like a girl and my first instinct was to get away" she murmured softly.
A soft rapping came from the door and Kabuto poked his head out nervously.
"Hinata are you okay"
"I'm s-s-sorry, I thought she… I mean he … was a girl." Hinata blushed a terrible shade of pink that spread from her cheeks to the tip of her nose.
Deidara busted in again shoving Kabuto out of the way.
"Its okay little kitten, I'm a forgiving man, I'll accept your apology with a kiss" Deidara puckered up his gorgeous lips. But Kisame came jostling in and knocked Deidara to the floor.
"Hey Deidara stop messing around, leave the poor girl alone, do you want her to lose all hope in men, besides we didn't come to tease her, remember what Itachi said"
Deidara suddenly became serious and stood up straightening his clothes and dusting off his pants.
"Oh yeah, we're here to help little Hinata move to her dorm and register for school,hmm"
"I thought Itachi was supposed to do that"
"Itachi's investigation is taking a little longer that expected"
Kisame and Deidara nudged Sasori lightly, and stared at him in a suspicious manner, Sasori nodded softly and looked at Sasuke.
"Sasuke if I could have a word with you, in private"
Sasuke looked shocked for a moment but shook it off immediately. He followed Sasori to his own room.
"What did you want to talk about?" asked Sasuke with a raised brow.
"It's about the matter of that girl being near you at school"
"What about that, I'm supposed to help her out, didn't Itachi mention that" Sasuke snapped.
"Yes he did, but he doesn't work at Konoha High like Kisame, Deidara, and I, and frankly I'm a little surprised you agreed to help her out."
"What's so surprising about me helping out a girl, especially her, she's had it rough I'm just giving her a break"
"Yes I'm aware of her background but I was told she has Gynophobia (A/N gynophobia is the fear/ hatred of women), Sasuke, I know you are aware that a large population of you class is completely in love with you, and might I add that the girls swooning around you can be particularly vicious."
"Are you saying I cant protect her, don't underestimate me..."
"Don't let you emotions for that girl blind your reason either"
"As long as you give us the same classes nothing should go wrong, I'll be with her all day."
"Don't baby her either Sasuke, being too dependent isn't good for a girl like her, she needs to over come these fears, and I'm sorry but you can't be with her all the time, what about her room mates, she'll be staying in the girls dorms, how can you possibly be there for her, her being near you is dangerous and if you truly want to help her then stay away from her."
"Hell no I'm the only person she knows, she'll never last the day without me."
"I'm just giving you some advice Sasuke, if you feel you must stay with her then by all means go ahead, but just know this, her safety rests in your hands, if she gets hurt by your fan girls then she'd only get punished for your stubbornness."
"Like I said" Sasuke grit his teeth in frustration, "I'll take care of her, if she gets hurt because of me I'll take responsibility"
"Very well then, excuse me I think the others are waiting for us" Sasori left with brisk gait towards the others.
Sasuke stayed in the room, anxiously thinking of what he said. That smug bastard did have a point, what if I can't be there for her when she really needs me, not only will her fear of women stay permanent, but the fan girls will make her life at school hell. Shit what did I get her into?
Next on Oh how the silent tremble!:
Itachi holds such valuable information, yet he still hasn't said what he wants in return, but something tells Hinata it's not anything good. What's with the grave warning Sasori gave Sasuke, could the girls at Konoha High be that malicious? What's the story behind the Hyuuga's? Hiashi was a former model Oh my! What atrocities could his past reveal? And it seems Hinata will be going to school, yet her fear of women still hasn't lessened how will Hinata cope with so many girls?
Special thanks to Angst, wow it's like you read my mind or something. Your reviews hit my ideas close to the nail. Lol. I really do appreciate reading your reviews, please continue. P.S. its okay if you make your reviews long that's what makes them so enjoyable to read.
SPECIAL Special Thanks to those readers that review. Thank you! Like I said earlier I'm a review whore, I need reviews like a stripper needs a pole.(LOL you're all thinking that I'm a weirdo right now) So please continue reviewing, don't be afraid to speak your thoughts to me, I only bite when hott smexy men are near me. (lol). Also ch 5 is almost finished, so I'll be updating very soon.
-Misery.loves.black.sheep-
PLEASE REVIEW (I don't bite …wink wink)