Chapter Nine

In Cattive Acque

[In deep waters]

Blue- clear blue water was streaming vehemently from above her. It felt cold as it touched her body that was plunged into the water. It was serene and tranquil, you could only hear the tapping of the water as it touched the ground but then she started choking. She was drowning, making her breathless and weak.

Is this my time to die now? She thought. She was waiting for the flashback of her priced memories. Shouldn't this be the time? She saw so many movies equally having the same plot as this- suspense and horror movies specifically, but this had its own twist. Yes, she was drowning, drowning in her own bathtub. She could feet the heat around her chest, it was burning with pain.

She closed her eyes and saw the 'oni' mask centimeters away from her face. 'Aah…' water flooded into her.

She gasped, breathless. She found herself lying in her bathtub, bubbles scattered messily everywhere. Her eyes were wide-open, couldn't fathom what really had happened. It all came too fast. Was that another bad dream? Well, there was no trace of her burning chest pain. But it all seemed too real. The pain was too real and she could feel aftershocks from that bizarre nightmare.

She then went out of her bathroom and proceeded to change into a cerulean dress which was 2-inches above her knee. She then pony-tailed her hair and applied lip balm. "Whatever that was Kahoko, it's nothing to worry about." She smiled before the mirror as she headed to the school. It's been a week since the day they came back to the Japan and Len had become colder to her. After that night, he has closed his doors again and wouldn't open no matter what.

[Flashback]

"Kahoko play the violin for me. If you find no reason why you should play the violin then allow me to be the reason. Let me be the reason, Kahoko." Those lamenting eyes locked her gazes towards him but her thoughts were flying, flying back two years ago when she had played the violin together with her feelings for Azuma, the man she only loved.

"I can't."

"Is it because of him? Is it because of Azuma Yunoki?" The mention of his name brought back pain; it was pricking her heart a million times over.

"Tsukimori-kun, please." She pleaded, her tears flooding. The smile she always wore slowly faded.

"Then tell me what I am to you." He ordered, his tone harsh and cold as that of the ice from the north. She looked down. She could not tell him what he really is. She can't put it into words and she just could not tell him he was her soother, her ice-cold violinist. It is something; she wants to keep to herself.

"You're…"

"Have you thrown your dreams because of that man? You had so many ideas and aspirations before but what have you done to it… I never thought, you would be just like the other girls out there." He halted the gondola boat and anchored it at the side. It was a slap on Kaho's face. Just what does he mean? What am I to him now? After that Len did not speak to her. They walked together and ate together but there was a wall separating them. He had isolated himself again and probably he would not open up once more.

Kahoko stared at her violin, broken and shattered. How can she play that broken instrument? A day before they were bound back to Japan, she visited Sinfonia.

"Ms. Kahoko what had brought you here? Is Mr. Tsukimori with you?" Giuseppe asked as she entered the store.

"No… I came here because I need to ask a favor from you." She informed him with a smile. A sparkle came into Giuseppe's eyes and smiled a broader smile to her.

"What is it?" He asked. Kahoko stood before him bringing a black bag.

[End of Flashback]

"Sensei, Ohayou Gaozaimasu!" [Good morning, sensei] It was Mizuumi, one of her students. She had snapped her out of her deep thinking.

"Good Morning!" She greeted with the sweetest smile she could ever give. Mizuumi noticed her deep thinking and though she was still hesitating she said, "Don't be too succumbed in your thoughts, sensei. You might stumble."

"Huh?" She was surprised, not understanding what she really meant. However, Mizuumi just gave her a smile and had left her hanging and unanswered.

She shoved the thought away and went to the faculty. She felt scared and nervous. She does not know what to tell Len when they see each other there. She hoped that he was not there so that she could avoid that awkward feeling again. However, Len was there alone on his desk, as usual. He was too early and that would never change. She stood at the door, hesitating if she should come in. Well, she does not what to say to him or what to do.

"Ohayou Gozaimasu, Tsukimori-kun." [Good Morning] She greeted him, though she's aware that he wouldn't respond to her, not a single word or not even a short glance. He did not affirm he heard her.

He did not want to say anything to her. He did not want those tears back in her eyes because he kept reminding her of her pas. And if he did speak, what will he say? He can't find words coming out. He has lost all his words; it's all been drained. Right now, the best thing he could do was to keep quiet and ensure that she still puts on that smile even if he kept distant. He just have to be sure that she's okay. He kept himself busy, pretending that Kahoko was not there. He was scribbling on his notebook.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you. I'm leaving now." She can't take the awkward atmosphere the two of them had created in seven minutes of dead silence. She walked out of the faculty room and went to her class even if it was not time yet.

We have to live as strangers as though we don't know each other. I can't go letting you cry because of your past… You belong to him… you have to go back to him. He sighed as he leaned back on his chair. Loneliness kept him company; he was satisfied that way. His eyes stared at the bare white ceiling of the room and slowly he closed them, his thoughts drifting away.

I was playing the violin in a concert jut like the ones I had before. I have left this long ago and I do not understand why I was here. I played the Ave Maria, just like I always do. I had a perfect execution of the techniques and skills but he felt a certain thing lacking. I just can't understand what it is. Everyone gave me sounding applauses, but I heard their whispers and chatters.

"This boy is the son of Himai-san and Tskumiro-sama, right?"

"Yes."

"It is true that he could play the violin very well but he is nothing compared to his parents."

"He is but a shadow."

Those words pierced me like a sword. I am nothing but a shadow of my parents. I am nothing compared to them. Why can't I step out of that shadow? Why can't I have my own distinction? My own identity and be Len Tsukimori? I wanted to tell them that I'm not merely Himai Misa's son or the heir of the Tsukimori business. I am I.

As the curtains closed, I saw a glimpse of my father among the audience. "Why is he here?" I was alarmed. He needed something from me, something important, if not then he wouldn't have been there. Then he was at the backstage.

"Len…" His strict voice echoed in my thoughts. I looked his way and saw the fury n his eyes but Why? What was that for?

"What is it that you want?" I asked him coldly. He didn't answer me; he just kept silent with his fist clenched. "I have no time for this." Then, his fist smashed to my face. It sent me flying to the floor. It hurt a lot.

"What was that for?" But I got no response from him. He continued looking at me with those golden orbs…

And then I heard someone playing the violin. It's Giuseppe Verdi's La Traviata and Aida. I recognized the violinist right away; I knew who it was. Slowly, everything around me vanished except for that one music that kept me company but nonetheless I was alone. I walk this lonely road that only I knows. I felt company in this dark alley. This is my sanctuary and I would never want any other sanctuaries aside this loneliness.

But then I stopped, as light flooded the whole place. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth from the sun, felt the breeze swaying around me. I slowly opened my eyes, it was a blur but the color of evergreen was obvious, I was in a vast meadow. And at the middle of the meadow there stood a figure so familiar. She was the one playing the violin. He knew that look, he knew that grace and he knew that smile. She was familiar to him...

Kahoko' he mumbled.

The bell rang, signaling class was going to start in five minutes. It woke Tsukimori up. He looked around and was surprised to find himself in the faculty all alone. However, he could still feel the ambiance of the meadow around him, full of life, warmth and serenity. That was just a dream… He told himself, trying to shove away whatever he felt a while ago but it just would not leave so he decided to let it be like that for a while though he knows he would not be able to concentrate in his stood up and headed to the music room.

He opened the door and saw Keisuke, one of his students waiting for him there. He ignored him. He wanted the boy to be the first one to greet. He placed his things on the table and opened his violin case. He was about to practice a piece.

"Sensei…" Keisuke halted him. He did not speak but he looked his way to affirm that he heard him. "Please teach me now." The student begged.

"Why should I?" He challenged him. He saw his persistence, through his eyes and it reminded him of Kahoko and her passion to play the violin.

"I am determined to learn and I know I can play it well." His student had gained confidence to speak to him but actually deep inside Keisuke was the hesitating student, nervous. Len just looked at him, waiting for him to speak once more.

"I… I…" He was hesitating whether he tell Len or not.

"What is your reason?" Len asked. The question stung him and all of a sudden Kaho's crying image flashed in his thoughts. But of course his bleak expression did not convey his thoughts, those sad thoughts.

"I want to play the violin for the person I love…" He uttered.

"Then play." He ordered.

"Huh?" It caught Keisuke off-guard.

"You want to play the violin, right? Then play, don't you get simple instructions?" Tsukimori uttered.

"B-But are you not going to teach me some skills?" Keisuke asked.

"Play the violin. How can I know what you are capable of?" He uttered. Keisuke chose to play Schubert's Ave Maria. It sounded well but not good enough for the virtuoso.

"Wrong. Everything's wrong; your notes, your posture… How did you learn this piece?" Len insulted though he didn't want to make it sound bad.

"Mizuumi taught it to me. He gave me that piece." Keisuke informed. "And I don't really find anything wrong in it, sensei."

"Close your eyes." He ordered.

"Huh?"

"Close it now." Obediently, Keisuke followed, though he really did not get why he had to.

"Play it again. This time think of this as your last performance." He sounded cold and bleak.

"But…"

"Do it!" He grew impatient. Keisuke started playing the piece again while Tsukimori straightened him, his back, his arms. It sounded better than the first time he played it before him. But Len was still not satisfied.

"Listen." He ordered as he started playing that same song. He was so graceful and he had perfected the strokes for it. It left Keisuke dazed.

"Compare your performance and mine." Len ordered.

"Of course yours is better." Keisuke uttered.

"What do you think do you lack?"

"The skills?"

"Practice. That's all you need. Practice." He uttered; it was an order.

"Practice?"

"Do it now." He left him. Then he started playing the violin to perfect the piece. Somehow, everything that Len had asked him to do made sense.

Arigatou Sensie… He thanked him in his thoughts.

That night Len was strolling on the park. He wanted to take some fresh air in. The blue waters reflected the light of the moon and the stars. The wind blew coldly and the nature rustled silently. There were a lot of trees and flowers around. Len walked towards the deep lake. He saw no one else there but him and he loved the company of loneliness. He walked towards the lake and walked on the bridge that connected him to the greener pasture. He got his violin and started playing Chaconne by Vitali, feeling the music more. Then the image of Kahoko flashed in her thoughts.

Kahoko was walking at the shorelines of the lake, thinking deeply on what really was wrong with Tsukimori. His silence means a lot of things. He might be angry, sad… It frustrated her not knowing what he truly wanted to convey in that silence. Would I be able to play the violin again? She looked upt the starry sky and then suddenly she heard someone playing the violin.

Len continued playing with his thoughts on Kahoko and her smile, the only thing that kept him happiness.

A week ago we were there under this same satin midnight sheet. I remembered it so well. I could vividly see those tears and feel her pain.

"I can't play the violin" It rang in my thoughts.

Suddenly, there was a splash from the deep waters. "Help!" I heard someone calling. "Please!" He thought he was alone but he wasn't.

He looked around and saw a familiar figure. She was drowning.

"Kahoko…" He saw that red long hair. He had recognized her voice. Adrenaline rushed and he wanted to rush to her. But…

Thanks for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you to all my reviewers and to all those who added my story to their favorite list. It means a lot to me, it inspires me to continue with this story even if it takes the whole night writing it. Sorry for the delay, I've been very busy with schoolwork.

Chapter Ten

Wrapped around his arms

Kahoko is drowning, what might Len do? Where would this lead? Death? Or would Len start talking to her again? See you in the next chapter.