Author's Note: I have return (For now anyways.) Still got this story to finish and the other one I put on hold. So, I need to get back to work on finishing those stories. Also, a shorter chapter than the last ones. Think I'll have two more chapters for this story, maybe three.
Chapter 10: Time Ticks Away.
The following week and into the next month, Shego tended to Merrick's care went he would let her. She would have to force him to let her help him in any way that she could. Him being stubborn caused clashes between the couple but they were all resolved peacefully. All it took was one member of the couple to say I love you. Just those words stop any of their petty arguments. But even those words didn't help her with her longing to get away. She was going to bring Merrick with her, just the city had no appeal to her anymore and the sooner she left the better. The only thing that kept her there was Merrick and him needing someone to tend to him until he was able to fend for himself. She admitted to herself several times, during her visits to Merrick's and playing nurse for him, that she was enjoying him being helpless.
Her last days in the city were fast approaching and she was looking forward to it. Though, she hadn't picked out a certain day to leave, she made up her mind to leave on any day that came up that would give her leave without anyone noticing. The only day she could think of was Valentine's day, but she would spend most of that day with Merrick. It wouldn't give her much time to pack or plan ahead of where she was going. Instead, she had planned out before hand, between the times she was with Merrick or tending to something else, that she was going to head West and she had bags already hid away in a place her brothers would never think to look. Her plan was perfect far as she could see and all she had to do was nag Merrick on her way out of the city. She knew he would understand her intentions.
Until that day, she would have to endure the very things she wanted to run away from while being patient. Her patience was wearing thin and she watched the days pass by slowly. Even when she and Merrick went to the play rehearsals, which to her started to be something that annoyed her. It tied her down while she wished to be it the city she loathed. The only reason she even kept going was because Merrick insisted that she should.
"Go, least for me. You don't have to be in the play if you don't want to, but I opened my big mouth and the teach is counting on me. I never liked to let anyone down. I need you to be there just to ease my fears," Merrick explained to Shego the very day she started to try and get out of going to the rehearsals.
Shego only shook her head and gave up while she said, "Alright, just for you. Besides, I have to drive you to the school anyways."
"Yep," was all Merrick replied back while Shego helped him into his truck.
The days passed on slowly for Shego and she started to get the idea of leaving the very second she could. She never got a chance to disappear. Instead, she had to continue to endure the city. Not even Merrick being there helped anymore. She still loved him like she always did but she wanted to escape, even if he didn't come along. It would hurt her if him refused to run away from the city with her, but her mind was set on leaving the night of her birthday. The only thing she hoped was Merrick understanding why she wanted to get away.
She had never told him about her plans, which were developed from the last words Tanya Brock said to her. Those words had played in Shego's mind ever since she heard them. She tried several times to forget the idea of becoming evil to be free from the bonds of the city, but everything she tried never helped her. Her thoughts would return to the notion of being someone her own brothers would despise. It was an idea that excited her. She could go where she wanted, take what she wanted, and not to help people, who only thanked her when she was saving them, unless it benefited her in some way.
The idea got worse the more she prowled around the city. She saw what being evil was like by observing the small time thugs in and around the city. Now, instead of watching couples moving about the city, she hunted down criminals to watch. She had went as far as let the criminals get away just to learn the tricks. Her world was broaden and the notion of being evil was the only thing she thought about. The only time she wasn't thinking about the venture into becoming wicked was when Merrick was around. She couldn't figure out why but when he was around, she thought like she always did before her last encounter with Tanya. Deep down she knew it had to be the love she felt for him and the longing to always be with him. Her love for Merrick and her longing to be evil caused her to be messed up with emotions and thoughts.
She wanted to be with Merrick but she knew he wouldn't like the idea of her being evil. That was the reason she never told him about her idea of running away from the city. The idea was a good one but the purpose, she knew, would cause him to think less of her, even to the point of not wanting to be around her anymore. To her, Merrick was always a good person and never would be wicked in any way. She admired that about him and she was glad he was like that, but him being good dampened her idea of being evil. She had only two choice over the being evil issue: to break up with Merrick or never become evil. Her love for him caused her to fear a break up and she reluctantly choose to stay like she was until Merrick decided to leave the city. That was her only hope for the time being while she had to endure the city and school.
School to her, became something she would rather avoid, it had no place in her life. It was a place of learning, which was true but she hated all the events that went along with being in school. Over the years, she had grew to hate the place and even thought about dropping out of school when she turned sixteen. She never did because of the idea of her working at a low paying job all of her life because of her never graduating high school. Now she had a chance to leave the school life for good. Why would she have to worry about getting a job if she married a multi-millionaire who would get her anything if she made him feel sorry? She wouldn't have to and she knew that to be true, but she hated the idea of just being with Merrick just because he had money. The idea of being evil, however, made her look at using Merrick that way. Even if she knew it was wrong, her dark side liked the idea of Merrick blowing all of his money just on her.
Her dark side always gave way to her love for Merrick. However, the closer it got to the couple's day to perform in the play, the more her love failed to fight off her dark side. She found herself thinking about things she never thought about before. The love for violence mixed with adventure was in her mind more than ever. Though she wasn't sure why she was thinking about such things, the idea of being evil along with one of the most dangerous women around appealed to her. She knew she was already walking the fine line between the night and day, which she knew one event would tip her to one side of the spectrum for the rest of her life. If she went toward the side of evil, she wasn't even sure Merrick could bring her back to the good side. Strangely, her fear of losing Merrick became less and less grim the more her mind became unsure. But she couldn't think of a life without him.
He had changed her life in so many ways, most in ways that she enjoyed. Her future brighten upon meeting him and she didn't want to lose that. Even if she did become evil, her dark side wouldn't stop her from loving Merrick. She knew that for sure because her love wasn't some puppy love. She went out of her way to help him when he needed her the most and she became depressed without him around. Her brothers actually suggested she stay with Merrick most of the day because of her being beyond cranky and bitter. That was odd to her but she took their advice and enjoyed the time spent with Merrick, even while he was still crippled, which he and Shego had to explain to everyone how he got so beat up. They told everyone, he had a wreck on Shego's motorcycle, which was believed by everyone at school because they have seen him driving the two wheeler around in the city. The rest of the time they saw Shego driving it throughout the city, which she had admitted to Merrick several times that she enjoyed the freedom the dangerous contraption gave her.
But her true motive behind riding the bike was to learn as much as she could about it before she disappeared. She didn't want to be ill-equipped in any way when it came time for her leave. Everything for her plan was set in motion and all she had to wait on was the day when she would decide to leave the city, never to come back. The last item she had to deal with was share her idea with Merrick. She knew that day was coming but she was buying time to see if he ever hinted he wanted to leave the city too. He never did and she grew impatient while she held herself together, hoping she wouldn't reveal her motives and notions at the wrong time.
She managed never to make her plan known and she kept aiding Merrick without him knowing her plans, but deep down she knew he was reading her thoughts like he always did. He never asked her about those thoughts and she thought for once she actually had him fooled. She hoped that was true.
The day finally came for the drama class to perform the play. The idea of Merrick being in the play while he was nervous, took Shego's mind off of her escape plan. She always liked to see him nervous and she was filled with laughter over him pacing backstage. She couldn't stop laughing at how he was acting, knowing he would be one of the first people to go out onto the stage. Her laughter didn't help Merrick with his nerves. He told Shego, while he continued to pace, that he was afraid that everyone will laugh at him just like she was doing and like the students did in their history class. Merrick had to make speeches in that class, which caused all the students except Shego to laugh at him stuttering through his speeches. She only assured him that she was laughing at how cute he was acting and everyone else wouldn't laugh.
"I doubt that," Merrick stated before he finally stopped pacing and slummed his shoulders when their drama teacher called for places.
"Look, Mal. I'll be right here and remember that I love you," Shego said before she went back to laughing.
Merrick only nodded to her and shook his head while he got ready to go on stage. She followed him right up to the stage to watch him perform and be there for him if he needed her. Him being nervous beyond any she ever seen made even she doubt her being there would help and she knew she would have to kept from laughing when it came time for him to go on stage. If he heard her laughing, it wouldn't help him. She learned he didn't like people laughing at him. He told her that after school after the first day he had to make a speech in the history class. Her laughing at him being nervous wouldn't help his nerves, but she knew he knew she wasn't making fun of him. She only did that when his did something stupid on very odd occasions.
The couple stood there and watched the first act being performed. Shego would glance at Merrick whenever the actors weren't speaking and she giggled everytime at the sight of Merrick hyper-ventilating. She finally wrapped her arms around him and hugged him as hard as she could. To her, that sign of affection seemed to help Merrick because he let out a weak laugh which was cut short when the first act was finished. When it was complete, Shego felt Merrick shiver and heard him start to breath fast again.
"Mal, relax. If you don't, we're not going out anywhere after this play," Shego whispered at a threat and she meant what she said, which she knew Merrick woud take serious.
He did and he relaxed the best he could while the king along with other actors came out onto the stage. While they went through their lines, Merrick forced his way out of Shego's arms and he began to pace right in front of her. The sight of him being like he was, was too much for Shego. She covered her mouth with her hands, in a hope to make her laughter quieter. But she failed to because the actors on stage stopped for a second and looked at the couple. They shook their heads at the couple and went on with their lines.
Finally the moment came for Merrick to go on stage with the king's last words, "But now, my cousin Hamlet, and my son---"
Merrick stopped pacing at those words and took a deep breathe. He looked back at Shego before he made any other action and she mouthed a, "1...4...3," to him. He gave her a weak smile and took another deep breathe before he stepped onto the stage.
When he was finally seen by the audience, he stood where he was and said nothing. The other actors looked at him with confused stares. The king tried to get Merrick to speak his lines by motioning with his hands but Merrick only stared blankly past them. In the confusion, the audience started to whisper among themselves, which Shego saw was making Merrick's nerves worse. She wasn't sure if anyone else was seeing what she was seeing, but she could tell Merrick was starting to shake.
She let out a sigh and whispered, "Mal, I meant no dates if you don't get through this."
Hearing what she said, Merrick slummed his shoulders and took another deep breathe before he said in a quivering voice, "A little more than kin, and less than kind."
Without missing a beat, the king went on with his lines and again the other actors had to wait on Merrick to say his lines while Shego had to fight the laughter building in her. It was too much for her, she wasn't even sure she be able to perform her part if Merrick stayed nervous. But she was looking forward to be on the stage with him. It was a kind of moment she knew she would enjoy, espeically if Merrick was still nervous. When everyone left the stage except Merrick, he looked back at Shego with a pleading look and she only smiled at him.
He shook his head at not getting any help from her and took another deep breath before he said, "O, that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw, and resolve itself into a dew..."
While he went through the longest lines thus far in the play, it amazed Shego that he was starting to be less nervous. She could tell because he went through the line like it was written just for him and she felt disappointed in him getting over being nervous. She liked him being nervous, which she didn't see very often. Now he was getting over his nerves, she knew it be awhile before she saw him in the same state. During this play, she knew she would have to cause the nerves to come back if she was to laugh at how cute he was acting. But while she watched Merrick finish the lines and other actors come on stage to go through their lines with Merrick, Shego started to think her dark thoughts again.
She couldn't get the thoughts out of her head. They were starting to consume her and she was letting them without trying to get her mind back to the way she use to think. Even at the sight of the guy she loved standing on stage acting out the play didn't help anymore. She loved him like always, but now she wasn't sure if she wanted to be tied down the rest of her life. She knew if they did get married right out of high school, she would be fixed to a married life with some adventure, but never have as much excitement as she wanted. She was use to running free about the city without a care in the world. Now that she was with Merrick, she was worried about losing him and she made the point to make sure she was the only one in his life. The nights she out in the city alone, she would come back to the rooftop of the building that gave her a good view of Merrick's home.
It was odd to her, but she, at times, hoped to see him there with another girl. Everytime she checked in on him, she would feel disappointed in seeing him in the home alone. Also, everytime she would feel guilty over wanting to see him cheating on her. He was the perfect guy she was looking for and she wanted him to make a mistake that would give her a reason to dump him. Her thinking was becoming messed up with all the ideas of life after high school. To be evil or not, to get married or not, were all she thought about and the conflicting thoughts battled in her mind. Being evil was winning and she was starting to act according to her thinking. She knew before long she wouldn't be able to hid her thinking. When that day came, she figured once its revealed, Merrick would have nothing to do with her and that would open the door for her to be as evil as she wanted. But she wanted to stay with him because of how exciting he made life for her.
While her mind finally cleared and came back to reality, Merrick finished his lines for the second act of the play and it meant her turn was coming up to be on stage. She reluctantly went on stage with the guy that was to be Laertes and they started to act their part in the play. Shego had a hard time keeping focused on her lines because of her dark thoughts returning, but she managed to get through the scene without making a mistake.
She was relieved when she said, "I shall obey, my lord," because those would be the last words she would have to say until her next scene in the play.
Shego returned to where she was standing during the time Merrick was acting and she let her mind wonder. She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice Merrick had came back onto the stage. Time seemed to have stood still for her while she meditated over her furture. Before she knew it, her turn came to go back on stage and again she took her time to the stage. This time she had trouble with her lines, which she knew, but her mind was still wondering over the dark thoughts. She saved face, though, by getting the lines right and the scene was finally over.
Once the scene was over, she went backstage again but she walked right by where she had been standing. Her thoughts were messed up to the point she wasn't sure where she was anymore and she started to walk to the exit door without realizing she was heading that way. Reality came back to her when a familar voice asked her was she alright and she stopped right at the door. She changed her sad, confused look to a smile before she looked at Merrick.
"I'm fine. Just need some fresh air," Shego explained before she looked back at the door.
"Sheila, you got to be more convincing than that. Something's going on in that head of yours," Merrick stated while he started walking to her.
"Mal, there's no fooling you," Shego sadly said while she slummed her shoulders and turned to face Merrick.
There was no hope for her to keep secret her plans if he had any idea about them and if he insisted on her telling him what was going on in her head. She was going to tell him for better or worst. It be a real test of how true he was to her.
"You don't want to be in the play," Merrick questioned with earnest, which surprised Shego because he had no clue to what was really wrong with her.
She was taken back at the fact of finally fooling him and she showed her surprise with the look she made. It surprised her so much that she couldn't answer Merrick for a moment and when she did, she made up her mind to go along with what he thought was wrong with her.
"Yes, that's...it. I'm not cut out for all this acting," Shego explained, hoping she didn't reveal her true thoughts. She been around Merrick long enough to know he could pick out a lie in seconds.
"Hey, you made me act, so its my turn to make you. Finish this play with me, for me," Merrick pleaded with a smile which Shego could never say no to and she couldn't. All she did was nod to him and walked near him to wrap him in her arms.
He chuckled at her hugging him but his eyes narrowed when she made a strange face. Before he could ask what else was wrong, he had to go back onto the stage. Shego sighed as quiet as she could while she let go of him and she felt relieved at him getting on with the play instead of trying to find out what she was thinking about. The fear of losing him creeped up in Shego while she watched him disappear onto the stage and her mind cleared over the fact of life without him. She felt like a fool.
For years she had asked for a guy like Merrick and now she wasn't sure if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. He was too good to her and if he didn't understand her wanting to get away from the city, no one would. She knew that, but her worst fear was losing him and when he learned her plans, she knew it be over between them.
Shego stood in the backstage long after Merrick had left her. The more she thought about losing him, the more she felt like crying. She felt like they already had broken up and what pain she would feel, she felt while she stood in the backstage alone. That emotional pain drove away all her dark thoughts. She tried to get those thoughts back in her head to get rid of the pain she was feeling but everytime she about succeeded, she would hear Merrick speaking on stage. His voice would cause her mind to return to thoughts of life without him.
She felt terrible the more she heard his voice and she wonder if she could perform in the scenes they had together. The time came for her to find out if she could during there first scene together. Though she was nervous and sad, it amazed her that she went through the scene with no trouble, as if her sad voice was made for the scene. It was no acting on her part because she was sad, but just her voice made her believeable as an actor. When the scene was over, Shego left Merrick on stage and waited offstage for their next scene together. With the way she was feeling, she wished the dragged out play would be over and she could maybe put the day behind her. That wouldn't happen for awhile and she still had one more scene with Merrick, the very one he was glad he was performing with her.
After Shego went through her last scene in the play, she waited for Merrick to go back out on stage before she slipped through the exit door she was about to go through earlier until he stopped her. She knew he would understand why she left. She had to be by herself and have time to think. A thing she was doing more than ever. Her days as a crime fighter were growing shorter and her being a good person was about to come to a end. All it took her now was to make up her mind and for something to happen between her and Merrick. The latter, she hoped never to happen, but she knew it could happen. She was going to see it through just for him and maybe him being there will keep her from changing sides. No matter how appealing it has became to her.