It looks like I'll be continuing their adventures! And thanks J. APPLEGATE and some dude for the ideas, I'll make them the first ones in this chapter.
Skyrim logic #10; Running on tables and kicking things off.
Rowan was really drunk and jumped on a table and started to kick this off.
"Watch where you're going!" A local yelled.
He didn't stop though, Serana was hiding in the corner of the tavern trying to look like she wasn't with him.
Reality;
He jumped on a table and started running across and kicking things off.
"Watch where you're going, you could hurt yourself!" One of the locals yelled. Rowan didn't pay attention and slipped over a sweet roll and landed on the hard ground with a thud.
"I warned you." The local said.
Once again, Serana had to take him to see a healer.
"Are you Jesus?" Rowan asked in his half-conscious state.
"I wish, I really do wish sometimes." Her arms started to ache from his bigger and heavier form, "Like now."
Skyrim logic #11; the chicken
Rowan was in the middle of fighting a dragon in Riverwood, he grabbed out his ebony sword and swung at the dragon, but somehow he missed the dragon and got the local chicken.
"Kill it!" The locals yelled.
Rowan sigh in relief, he need some help. What happened surprised him though, they stabbed him.
Did they just stab him? Last time he checked, he was saving them! He thought.
Rowan then decided that he would legged it out of town with Serana on his tail and all of Riverwood.
Reality;
He shot an arrow at the dragon but missed.
"Really?!" Serana bellowed, "The thing is as big as my father's ego! How can you miss it?!" She asked in disbelief.
After they killed the dragon with the help of the guards, they found out that the arrow hit a chicken.
Rowan closed his eyes waiting for the blood thirsty villagers.
"What are you doing?" Asked one of the town guards.
"I killed a chicken, aren't you going to kill me?" Rowan asked.
"It's a chicken," The guard said in his 'Are you serious' voice, "I protect people, not chickens," The guard then left them muttering about how stupid people are getting.
Skyrim logic #12; Waiting
"Sorry, the store is close, come back another day!"
Rowan then waited for a couple of hours in the store and asked the shop keeper again.
"Some call this junk, me, I call them treasures." The shop keeper said.
Reality;
"Sorry, the store is close, come back another day!"
"What do we do now?" Serana asked Rowan.
"Wait," Rowan said.
"You'll have to do that outside," The shop keeper said.
"Fine," Rowan and Serana then went outside and sat on the nearby seat.
After a while Rowan started to fidget.
"Stop that." Serana said.
"But this is boring," Rowan groaned.
"Then maybe we should go home and sleep, how about that?" Serana suggested.
Rowan stared at her, "No, we are going to wait," He said.
"Why? How is this better than a nice warm bed?" She turned her head to look him in the eyes.
"It's better than a Daedric prince out to get me," He said a little louder.
"Shut it! Some people are trying to sleep here!" A man shouted from his window.
"Sorry!" Rowan said at a lower volume.
"Just five more hours," Serana reminded herself.
Skyrim logic #13; Dragonrend
"Dovahkiin! I will defeat you," The dragon bellowed, the beast then stretched its wings and took flight.
Rowan took a deep breath and then shouted, "JOOR ZAH FRUL!"
It hit the dragon, engulfing it in a blue light. Rowan waited for the dragon to land, but it kept flying around him shooting fireballs in his direction.
"Oh come on!" He shouted at it, "That spells supposed to make you land!" He shouted.
The dragon then landed on top of a high ridged rock.
"You gotta be kidding me?" Rowan asked in a low growl, he really hated it when they did that.
He would have sworn he heard a beast like laugh coming from it too. But it didn't matter anymore, he had coin to make on its bones and scales.
Reality;
He shouted at the dragon, armed and ready with his ebony sword and dragon bone shield. The dragon came crashing to the ground.
Serana and he soon finished of the beast and left, after taking its scales, bones, and soul.
Skyrim logic #14; Becoming a bard
"I need you to retrieve the poem," Viarmo said.
"Okay! I'll be off now," Rowan stated leaving the college.
A couple of hours later Rowan came back with the poem, "Here," He said.
Viarmo then stated that the poem was incomplete and then Rowan suggested that they should make up the rest. After they finish the poem they went to the blue palace where the Jarl was. Rowan then became a bard later on at The Burning of King Olaf Festival.
Reality;
"I need you to retrieve the poem," Viarmo said.
"Okay, seems easy enough," Rowan then left with Serana.
They came back to the college a couple of days later covered in cuts, bruises, and caked with blood and dirt.
"Ah, you have returned. How goes the task I gave you?" Viarmo asked not taking his eyes away from the book he was reading.
"How goes the task? It was splendid!" Rowan said in a sarcastic tone, "I mean, all I had to do was defeat a few draugr and on my way back I had to defeat a dragon!" Rowan then gave the poem to Viarmo.
Viarmo took the poem and studied its continents, "The copy, it's incomplete! And the verses that are readable… well… bardic verse has come a long way since ancient times," Viarmo stated.
"Well, I don't actually care!" Rowan said, he then turned around to leave the building.
"Wait, where are you going?" Viarmo asked.
"Home!" With that Rowan left.
Skyrim logic #15; Buckets
Rowan walked into a store and walked up to the shop keeper.
"Anything that interests you?" The owner asked.
"Yes actually," Rowan then proceeded to grab a bucket and put it over the owners face. He then took everything from the store, including the useless junk, and then left like nothing happened.
Reality;
"Yes actually," Rowan then proceeded to grab a bucket and put it over the owners face.
"What in oblivion are you doing?" The owner said pulling the bucket off and saw Rowan stealing his stuff, "Thief! Guards!" The shop keeper yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Snatch and run!" Rowan yelled with the stolen goods in both his arms. He ran out of town chased by a group of guards and a handful of townsfolk.
Skyrim logic #16; The Tyranny of the Sun
"Come on!" Rowan exclaimed.
"No," Serana huffed.
"It's just a little sun light, it's not going to hurt you," He stated.
"Fine," Serana sighed and slowly walked out of the safety of the shaded area.
"See? Was that so hard?" Rowan asked.
"It's brighter than I remember," Serana said covering her eyes from the light.
"It's okay, now let's go!" Rowan then skipped happily along with Serana behind him.
Reality;
"It's just a little sun light, it's not going to hurt you," He stated.
"Fine," Serana sight and slowly walked out of the safety of the shaded are.
"See? Was that so- OH MY GOD!" Rowan yelled when he saw Serana starting to burn up.
"Ow!" Serana yelled, she then ran back to the shaded area and sat in the seat.
"Yeah, we'll continue tonight," He said rubbing the back of his head.
Skyrim logic #17; The Amazing Point-and-Click Teleportation Map
"It'll take us days to get there," Serana said.
"It's okay!" Rowan then pulled out his map and pointed at a marked location on it, they were then there at their objective.
Reality;
"What are you doing?" Serana asked.
"I'm fast traveling us to our objective," He answered.
"Yeah, are you sure that you're okay?" Serana asked.
"I'm fine," Rowan said. "Why are you asking?"
"Because you're pointing at a map and telling it that you want to fast travel," She said crossing her arms. "Are you sure Sheogorath hasn't gotten to you?"
"No," He then sighed in defeat. "Let's just walk there." They then continued on their journey.
Skyrim logic #18; Food
Rowan had traveled all the way to a small town and stopped at the tavern for some food. When he entered the building he went straight to the owner. After he bought a lot of food he then ate it all and continued on his journey.
Reality;
"I don't feel good," Rowan groaned rubbing his now bloated stomach.
"Well, you just ate a lot of bread, meat and soup," Serana then pointed at the empty bottles on the table, "Don't get me started on the amount of alcohol you had."
"I think I need to see a healer," Rowan rubbed his eyes, "But let's rent a room first," He then got up and slowly made his way to the tavern owner and bought a room.
"I am not going to carry you back," Serana reminded him.
"Yeah, yeah," He wave a hand at her and then went to his room for the night.
He was not going to enjoy tomorrow.
Skyrim logic #19; Wanted
"Wait! I know you," The guard said.
Rowan slowly backed away from the guard.
"Don't go fiddling with any locks around here or we're going to have a real problem!" The guard stated.
"That's not going to stop me," Rowan whispered to himself.
Reality;
Rowan was checking items at one of the local stalls when he got tackled to the ground by a guard.
"You have commit crimes against Skyrim and her people, what say you in your defense?" The guard pinned Rowan to the ground and unsheathed his sword.
"I can't breathe," Rowan said trying to move under the weight of the guardsman.
The guard got off of him and picked him up on his feet with one arm.
"Serana! Aren't you going to help me?" Rowan asked while the guard started to tie bonds to his wrists.
The said woman shrugged, "Nothing I can do."
Rowan was then dragged to the Dragonreach's dungeon.
He was not going to stop stealing though.
Skyrim logic #20; Turning into a werewolf
Rowan was enjoying the feeling of the warm sun against him.
"Today is a wonderful day for a hunt, what you say Serana?" He asked looking at the said woman.
"For you wolf boy," She answered, she the shifted her weight and moved to a better shaded place under the large tree.
Rowan huffed at her, he then changed into his beast form and slaughter nearby dears and foxes.
Reality;
Rowan whimpered, why didn't he take off his armor before he changed into a werewolf?
"Hold still," Serana said, she had already removed his boots and gauntlets and now she was trying to get his chest armor off.
He whined at the force of her yanking, he had trouble breathing with this thing on and her pulling wasn't helping.
"Sorry, this won't work, we need to cut it off," Serana stated.
Rowan whimpered like a puppy, the armor was too small for him to breathe properly and he was afraid if Serana slipped, he did not want to treat a wound today.
Groaning in defeat he shift his weight and waited for Serana to cut the armor off, he was growing more uncomfortable by each passing second.
Skyrim logic #21; Pain
They had taken fire blasted, arrows to the chest, and cut marks from all sorts of weapons, but that wasn't got to stop them.
Serana and Rowan ventured forth ready for anything else that would attack.
Reality;
"Ouch!" Rowan yelled.
"Hold still," Serana said, she then went back to yanking the arrows out of him.
He winced and whimpered from the pain, he hated arrows and most of all Bandits.
"I just need to get the one in your knee out," Serana then cut the tip out that was sticking out of his leg.
Rowan closed his eyes ready for the coming pain. Serana then yanked it out and cleaned up the wound.
Rowan yelled in pain, he opened his eyes to observe the wound.
"No more adventuring from me," He whimpered.
Sorry for the grammar errors if there is any, it's the middle of the night now and I really just wanted to post this to you guys. Please leave a review, enjoy your day and make sure you hide your cheese from a certain Daedra!