Onsholo, I'll talk about the weather in this chapter, and, thanks J. APPLEGATE and Ghost123 for the ideas. Hope you enjoy!
Skyrim logic #22; Poison
Serana and Rowan were walking in an abandoned crypt when Rowan stepped on a trigger plate.
"Uh, oops?" He said sheepishly.
Poison darts then shot at him from the walls.
"Are you okay?" Serana asked.
"I'm fine," He then continued forward.
Reality;
He dropped to the ground making a loud clank and thud sound.
"Are you okay?" Serana asked.
"No! I've just got poisoned! Do you think I'm okay?" He yelled.
"Great, another trip to a healer," Serana then slipped her fingers under his Dragon bone shoulder plating and dragged him all the way out of the crypt.
Rowan groaned from the poison the way back to the temple of Kynareth.
Serana was lucky that they brought a horse with them on their travels, she did not want to carry him all the way back.
Skyrim logic #23; Trapping Odahviing
Rowan was at the Great porch of Dragonsreach, he took a breath in and then yelled out, "OD AH VIING!"
It was quiet, there was just a couple of guards, Serana and him. The night air was cold and the air still.
Then one of the guards was snatched into the talons of a giant lizard and thrown off the balcony. Rowan ran over to confront the beast, his ebony sword in one hand and his dragon bone shield in the other, he notice the dragons eyes set on him.
"Dovahkiin! Here I am!" The dragon bellowed.
Serana hit the dragon with a lightening spell, which gained the dragons attention, Rowan took that as an opportunity.
"JOOR ZAH FRUL!"
The dragon then collapsed to the ground, the beast set his eyes back on Rowan and started to walk closer.
Rowan walked backwards, shield in a blocking position.
The great beast then started to shoot fire at the Dragonborn.
Rowan's back hit the door entrance, he closed his eyes, still in a blocking position, and waited for the killing blow. It never came though, instead he heard the beast shouting at the top of his lungs. He opened his eyes to see that Odahviing was in fact caught in the trap.
"Thank Talos," Rowan huffed.
Reality;
Odahviing didn't like that mage, he was creeping him out, but when the mage touched him pricked him with something, he let out a roar of fire making the place burn up.
"Everyone get out, now!" Yelled one of the guards.
Serana was already gone, and the rest of the people in Dragonsreach were on their way out of the building.
Odahviing managed to break himself of the binds and fly away before he was injured from the building collapsing.
"Dovahkiin! I will finish what I started and kill you!" He shouted, he then left Whiterun and went back to Skuldafn.
Skyrim logic #23; Naked in the cold lands
Rowan walked in the cold lands of Skyrim with no clothes on, he then ventured forward into the water. He didn't remember why he was doing this, but it wasn't hurting him.
Reality;
"You're a retard, you do know that, right?" Serana told him.
"I-I can't-t feel-l m-my ev-very-ything," He stated through rattling teeth.
"Servers you right," Serana then grabbed a blanket out of the bag that she was carrying, she was always prepared for his ridiculous endures.
Skyrim logic #24; Riding a horse up a mountain
"Hi-oh, Silver!" Rowan yelled as the horse made its way over the ridged and rocky mountain. When they made it to the top, Rowan grabbed out an apple and gave it to the horse, "Who's a good girl? You are!" He said, patting the horse on her head he notice someone finally climb over the mountain.
"What took you so long?" He asked Serana.
"I'm sorry! I don't have a horse that defies physics!" She shouted.
"Gosh! No need to yell," Rowan then went back to patting the horse.
Serana growled and collapsed onto the ground, she was tired from all that climbing.
Reality;
"Hi-oh, Silver!" Rowan yelled, the horse though didn't move.
"It looks like your horse don't want to move," Serana stated. "Oh well, we'll just have to climb are selves."
Rowan looked up, the mountain was ridged and rocky, and it would be very dangerous to climb. He sighed, "Fine," he said in defeat, he made his way off the horse.
"Good, we should start climbing now," Serana said, she made her way closer to the mountain and started to climb up.
Rowan followed her up the mountain, there was only one good thing about this.
If a rock fell off, Serana would be the one that got hit first.
Skyrim logic #25; Ancient Nordic puzzle doors
Rowan looked at the claw's markings, he then changed the pattern on the wall to match it, when that was done he place the claw in it and the door slide down.
"Done!" He then skipped ahead of Serana who was trying to lift the bag full of things he makes her hold.
Reality;
"Umm," Rowan looked at the claw, "How are we going to do this?" He asked Serana.
"You change the pattern on the door to match what's on the claw," She said irritated.
"That's the problem, there is no pattern on this," He turned around to show her the claw.
"Well, I guess we has to guess," She stated, she then moved away a little out of range of the poison darts and other traps.
After a lot of poison darts, spikes coming out of the ground and walls, and flame thrower things, Rowan had finally opened the door up.
"Ow," He whined, placing his arm to his back he pulled out all the darts from it. "You are so going to carry me back to a healer," He reminded Serana.
"Great," She said sarcastically.
Skyrim logic #26; Draugr kicking down stone coffin lids
When they ventured forth, a bunch of Draugr had kicked down their coffin lids and attacked them, Rowan was still quite weak but just manage to kill them off.
Reality;
Serana and Rowan had ventured forth when they heard a thud noise.
"Did you hear that?" Serana asked.
All Rowan could do was nod, they discovered that the noise was coming from an ancient stone coffin.
"What do you thinks inside there?" Serana asked.
"I don't know," Rowan said, he stepped closer to the coffin and put a hand on it. "But whatever it is, it sucks!" He yelled.
There was more kicking coming from the coffin and a couple of scratching noises.
"What you going to do? It's a really bummer that you can't 'open up'," Rowan laughed at his bad joke, Serana just got out of the way and waited for what would happen next.
"FUS RO DAH!" The coffin lid went flying off and smacked right into Rowan.
Rowan groaned in pain.
Serana took care of the draugr and had to carry Rowan all the way out to see a healer, again.
Skyrim logic #27; Skeletal enemies
"What are we going to do today Serana?" He asked, he turned around with a wide smile.
"Please telling it isn't. "
"We're going to go into another cursed cave!" Rowan said interrupting what she was saying. "What don't you want it to be?"
"That. Another cursed cave," Serana said, she crossed her arms and gave him a look of disapproval.
"What do you have against cursed caves?" Rowan asked.
"Caves mean a bear, or if it's a frozen cave it a frost troll. But when it's a cursed cave, we're swarmed by Draugr and skeletons!" She yelled.
"Please?" He asked, he gave her his best puppy eyes.
"Fine, and please stop that, it creeps me the hell out."
"Yeah!" Rowan put his arms in the air in victory.
When they finally got there, they were ambushed by a group of skeletons. When they finished them off, they went back on their way to the cursed cave.
Reality;
Rowan was unarmed when a skeleton came run his way, in a panic he punched its head off.
"Hey, Serana! Let's play catch!" Rowan then throw the skull at Serana whom caught it.
The skeleton's body then tried to catch its skull every time they throw it.
Rowan and Serana were playing piggy in the middle with a headless skeleton and using its skull as the ball.
"It's over here!" Rowan yelled. When the headless skeleton got closer to him, he throw it back to Serana.
"No, it's over here!" Serana yelled.
This went on for hours until a dragon turned up. That dragon is now a hero to that skeleton, seeing that Rowan Serana got distracted by it and dropped the skull.
My Dovahkiin is a complete idiot.
Skyrim logic #28; the Companions make you a werewolf
"We've been awaiting your return," Vilkas said.
"Why were you waiting for me?" Rowan asked.
"Come, follow me." Vilkas then walked ahead.
When they were at the training grounds of Jorrvaskr, the senior members of the circle were already there.
"What's going on?" Rowan asked himself, he got closer to the formed circle and stood beside Vilkas.
"Brothers and sisters of the Circle, today we welcome a new soul into our mortal fold," Kodlak said. He then waved his hand towards Rowan, "This man has endured, has challenged, and has shown his valour. Who will speak for him?" Kodlak then looked at the members gathered around the circle.
"I stand witness to the courage of the soul before us," Farkas said.
"Would you raise your shield in his defence?" Kodlak turned his head to Farkas.
"I would stand at his back, that the world might never overtake us."
"And would you raise your sword in his honour?"
"It stands ready to meet the blood of his foes."
"And would you raise a mug in his name?"
"I would lead the song of triumph as our mead hall revelled in his stories."
"Then the judgment of the Circle is complete," Kodlak stated, he then looked towards Rowan. "His heart beats with fury and courage that have united the companions since the days of the distant green summers." Kodlak then looked at the other members of the Circle. "Let it beat with ours, that the mountains may echo and our enemies may tremble at the call."
"It shall be so," Everyone else said beside Kodlak and Rowan.
Kodlak walked up to Rowan, the others went on their merry way.
"Well, boy, you're one of us now. I trust you won't disappoint." Kodlak then went back to his business.
Later on after Rowan had finished a task he was given, he went back and told of his finished task.
"Skjor was looking for you before. Talk to him before doing anything else," Farkas informed him.
Rowan then went to look for Skjor, who was sitting down by the big hall table.
"Ah, there you are," Skjor said.
"You were looking for me?" Rowan asked.
"Yes. I have something a little different planned this time. But it's not for everyone to hear. Meet me in the Underforge tonight. We will speak more," Skjor said.
"Where is this Underforge?" Rowan asked.
"I forget that you've never seen it. Beneath the Skyforge, where Eorlund works. The door is hidden, but I will show you the way." Skjor then went back to his own duties.
Later that night, Rowan was waiting for Skjor. It had been fifteen minutes until Skjor had arrived.
"Are you prepared," Skjor asked.
"I'm ready for whatever task is next," Rowan said confident.
"This is no test, new blood. This is a gift. Come inside," Skjor said, he then walked ahead and entered through the hidden door way.
When Rowan had entered, he saw a black furred beast roar at the sealing. Rowan was about to drawn his sword when suddenly Skjor spoke.
"I would hope you recognize, Aela, even in this form." Skjor stated. "She has agreed to be your forebear." He then walked up closer to the altar in the middle of the room. "We do this in secret because Kodlak is too busy trying to throw away this great gift we've been granted. He thinks we've been cursed. But we've been blessed. How can something that gives this kind of prowess be a curse? So we take matters into our own hands. To reach the heights of the companions, you must join with us in the shared blood of the wolf. Are you prepared to join your spirit with the beast world, friend?"
"I'm ready," Rowan said.
"Very well," Skjor said, he unsheathed his steel dagger and walked up to Aela, he then grabbed onto her arm above the altar and slit her wrist, the blood dripped into the altar.
Rowan then walked up to the altar and placed a hand into the blood, he then drank the blood and everything went black.
He woke up in best form and went on a savage rampage, and it then went black again.
Reailty;
"Skjor was looking for you before. Talk to him before doing anything else," Farkas informed him.
Rowan then went to look for Skjor, who was sitting down by the big hall table.
"Ah, there you are," Skjor said.
"You were looking for me?" Rowan asked.
"Yes. I want you to kill off some thugs for me," Skjor said.
"Really? I thought you were going to turn me into a werewolf or something," Rowan asked.
Skjor laughed. "You're a new blood whelp, do you think I'm going to granted you the gift of the Beast so soon?" He asked.
"I was hoping you would," Rowan whispered to himself.
Skyrim logic #29; A Night to Remember
Rowan had walked into a tavern and stumbled into a man named Sam Guevenne.
"If you're looking for a challenge, you've come to the right place," Sam said.
"A drinking contest? You don't stand a chance!" Rowan said very confident.
"Ha! We'll see about that. This is a special brew, very strong stuff. Let's get started." Sam then stood up. "I'll start round one. Down the hatch!" He then gulped the whole pint down. "Your turn!"
"Here we go," Rowan said, he then took a pint of the brew and gulped it down as well.
"One down, my friend. One down." Sam took a pint. "And another one for me." He then drunk the whole brew down. "And how about you?" Sam asked.
"A second drink. Easy enough." Rowan then drunk another one.
"So says you. I think I've hit my limit on these things. Tell you what, one more and you win the contest." Sam stated.
"One more. No problemsh," Rowan slurred.
"Wow, you've really done it. The staff is yours."
"Thash grape!" Rowan then started to stumble a bit.
"You know, you're a fun person to drink with. I know this great little place where the wine flows like water. We should head there. Hey, you don't look so good..." Sam said concerned.
Rowan vision then went black.
Reality; (A.K.A Serana's point of view)
She had to chase after this Sam person and Rowan for hours! She had finally tracked Rowan and his drinking partner down to Markarth, how the made it drunk from Whiterun all the way to Markarth was beyond her. She asked the townsfolk about the two drunk morons, one of the people told her that there was only one drunk moron and that his was in the Temple of Dibella, and by the description they gave her about him, it was definitely Rowan.
When she had finally got to the Temple, she encountered one of the Priestess yelling at Rowan to clean up his mess. She waited until he finished cleaning up his mess when she decided approach him.
"What happened?" He asked rubbing his head.
"Don't you remember? You went out with your drinking buddy and started to cause a ruckus around Skyrim, well, everyplace that's in between Markarth and Whiterun," She said.
"I don't feel so good," He groaned. "And my head hurts."
"It's called a Hangover, or also known as karma," She stated, Serana then started to walk towards the Temple front door.
"I still want the staff though."
Skyrim logic #30; The mind of Madness
Rowan woke up in this strange place after agreeing to help a man find his master, going to the Blue palace, and then entering the forbidden wing. He walked forward towards the two men at the table, he then approached the one wearing the weird half purple, half orange suit.
"Um, excuse me, sir," He said.
"How rude! Can't be bothered to host an old friend for a decade or two," The man practically yelled.
"I'm here to deliver a message," Rowan said.
"Reeaaaallllyyyy?" The man asked. "Ooh, ooh, what kind of message? A song? A summons? Wait, I know! A death threat written on the back of an Argonian concubine! Those are my favourites." He said.
Before Rowan could utter a word, the man interrupted him.
"Well? Spit it out, mortal. I haven't got an eternity! Actually... I do. Little joke. But seriously. What's the message?" The man asked
"I was asked to retrieve you from your vacation," Rowan answered.
"Were you now? By whom?" The man asked.
Rowan was about to answer when the man interrupted him, again.
"Wait! Don't tell me! I want to guess! Was it Molag? No, no... Little Tim, the toymaker's son? The ghost of King Lysandus? Or was it... Yes! Stanley, that talking grapefruit from Passwall. Wrong on all accounts, aren't I?" The man then asked the last bit a little more seriously. "Ha! No matter! Honestly, I don't want to know. Why ruin the surprise? But more to the point. Do you - tiny, puny, expendable little mortal - actually think you can convince me to leave? Because that's... crazy. You do realize who you're dealing with here?" He asked, his tone shifted though, going from that happier tone, to that darker tone, and back to the happy one.
"You're a madman," Rowan stated.
"Jolly good guess! But only half right. I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually. It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years. Now you. You can call me Ann Marie. But only if you're partial to being flayed alive and having an angry immortal skip rope with your entrails. If not... Then call me Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Charmed." Sheogorath said.
Rowan was confused, this Sheogorath guy went from happy and insane to dark and creep just in seconds, this guy had more emotions than a teen girl!
"So does that mean you'll leave? Or not?" Rowan asked, this guy better not give him some task.
"Now that's the real question, isn't it? Because honestly, how much time off could a demented Daedra really need? So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to leave. That's right. I'm done. Holiday... complete. Time to return to the hum drum day-to-day. On one condition. You have to find the way out first. Good luck with that," The Mad God stated.
"Okay, what's the catch?" Rowan asked.
"Ha! I do love it when the mortals know they're being manipulated. Makes things infinitely more interesting," Sheogorath said. "Care to take a look around? This is not, I dare say, the Solitude botanical gardens. Have you any idea where you are? Where you truly are? Welcome to the deceptively verdant mind of the Emperor Pelagius the third. That's right! You're in the head of a dead, homicidally insane monarch."
Great, inside the mind of a dead emperor, and I have to fix it, I wish I had my weapons, Rowan thought to himself.
"Now, I know what you're thinking. Can I still rely on my swords and spells and sneaking and all that nonsense? Sure, sure. Or... you could use... The Wabbajack! Huh? Huh? Didn't see that coming, did you? Sheogorath said.
After a while, Rowan had finally finish fixing Pelagius mind, he then went back to Sheogorath.
"I've done it. I've fixed Pelagius' mind," Rowan stated.
"Hmmmm... "Fixed" is such a subjective term. I think "treated" is far more appropriate, don't you? Like one does to a rash, or an arrow in the face. Ah, but no matter. Heartless mortal that you are, you've actually succeeded and survived. I am forced to honour my end of the bargain. So congratulations! You're free to go! I... have been known to change my mind. So... go. Really," Sheogorath said.
Rowan then felt relief wash over him, he was so happy to go back home.
"Pelagius Septim the Third, once the Mad Emperor of Tamriel, now so boringly sane. I always knew he had it in him!" Sheogorath said. "Well, I suppose it's back to the Shivering Isles. The trouble Haskill can get into while I'm gone simply boggles the mind... Let's make sure I'm not forgetting anything. Clothes? Check. Beard? Check! Luggage? Luggage! Now where did I leave my luggage?"
Dervenin then teleported on the other side of the table.
"Master! You've taken me back! Does this mean we're going home? Oh, happy times! I can't wait to," He was then cut off.
"Yes, yes, that's quite enough celebration. Let's send you ahead, shall we?" Sheogorath then teleported Dervenin away, he then looked towards Rowan. "And as for you, my little mortal minion... Feel free to keep the Wabbajack. As a symbol of my... Oh, just take the damn thing. You take care of yourself, now. And if you ever find yourself up in New Sheoth, do look me up. We can share a strawberry torte. Ta ta!"
Rowan then teleported back to the forbidden wing.
Reality;
"Wait, this isn't possibly! I thought this was the logical one?" Rowan asked.
Sheogorath then teleported next to him. "Silly, little mortal! I'm the Daedric prince of Madness! I tend to defy logic." Sheogorath stated. "Now for the cheese and flaming dogs!" Dogs on fire and cheese wheels then started to fall from the sky.
"Last time I checked, this was my mind," Pelagius stated.
"Don't be a bore, Pelly! Now, what was I doing again?" Sheogorath asked.
Pelagius sighed, "Haskill must be a saint if he has to deal with this daily."
"I'm doing the fish stick here! So I can't hear you!" Sheogorath yelled.
What in the name of all that is Sithis, is a fish stick? Rowan thought to himself.
"You know what? I think we should invite all the Daedra here! Except for Malacath and Jyggalag, they suck are parties." All of a sudden a bunch of Daedra looking creatures appeared out of nowhere.
"Not again," Hermaeus mora said.
"SHEOGORATH!" Mehrunes Dagon yelled in bloodlust.
"Daggy!" Sheogorath yelled in joy.
"Give me a reason not to bash your skull in?" Dagon shouted in anger.
"Because you love me," Sheogorath answered, but this earned him a punch square in the face from the Prince of Destruction.
"What are a bunch of Daedric princes doing in my mind?" Pelagius yelled.
"We're in the mind of a mortal? I've been to better looking ones," Azura said unimpressed.
"Not enough trees," Hircine stated, he then saw Rowan. "Wait, I know you."
"No you don't!" Rowan said quickly, he then looked towards Sheogorath, "Can I leave now?"
"Okay!" Sheogorath said, he then teleported Rowan away.
When Rowan stood up, he saw that Serana was still waiting for him.
"What took you so long?" Serana asked.
"You don't want to know," He said, he then started walking ahead. "You don't want to."
That's it for now! I don't know if I captured Sheogorath right though, he seems to be a complicated person to right, same with the rest of the Daedra. Sorry Ghost123, I didn't want to write so much and I thought it would be good if I left it at that bit for A Night to Remember quest. Please review and enjoy your day.