Hellooo, all your lovely lovely angels who reviewed (: Dear Gen and MitchiMarra (: Love you! :D Anyway, next chapter. (: Gen, Gen! I finally got to put it up! :DD
It started with a drizzle, but the moment Deidara left the shelter of the apartment block, a thunderstorm wrecked the world— or in the blonde's case, his hair— apart.
Startled blue eyes narrowed at the offending droplets falling from the heavens as Deidara grimaced at the spots on his grey shirt that were slowly turning black with water.
"Damn it, un."
Sasori had yelled out to Deidara to bring an umbrella when he went out for his juice, but the stubborn blonde had insisted that a drizzle wasn't going to kill him, or even frazzle him the slightest.
"Brat, there's a start to everything. A thunderstorm starts with a drizzle."
"Don't be dramatic, Danna. I'll be fine, un." And then the blonde had made his dramatic exit, banging the door shut and causing Sasori to cringe.
It had looked fine when he left, though. It had been sunny and the clouds were whiter than white. But the moment Deidara stepped out of the elevator, it was as if someone had thrown a black sheet over the skies— presumably the Gods— and there was even thunder rumbling. Which was exactly why the blonde came to the conclusion that it was a passing cloud, a transient shower, nothing too bad.
"...Should have listened to Danna, un. Never mind," Deidara trudged on hopefully towards the convenience store. "It'll stop by the time I'm done, un."
Stopping outside the convenience store, Deidara wrung his shirt out as best as he could and thanked God that his sneakers hadn't turned into twin swimming pools... yet. He shuffled his shoes over the welcome mat to dry off the worst of the wet soles. Peering in through the heavily fogged glass, he could make out a few lonely souls drifting around the otherwise empty store. He wouldn't be making a scene, then.
The bell over the glass door tinkled when the blonde pushed it open, stepping in cautiously. The cashier was reading a magazine, and she looked up when he entered. Dropping her gaze down to Deidara's shoes, she threw him a dirty look as the nonchalant blonde wandered deeper into the store, trailing water all over the floor. He noticed it and he gave a sheepish smile before walking over to the chiller and plucking out two bottles of apple juice, checking their expiry date.
His eyes lingered on the milk cartons before relenting and grabbing one. "Let's see how it'll be this time when I make coffee, un," he grinned to himself.
Hugging the drinks to his chest, he sauntered over to the counter, receiving another glare from the cashier. Deidara avoided eye contact and his attention drifted over to the umbrellas propped up against the stand by the magazine racks. Should he buy an umbrella and save himself from a horrible trip back? He sighed and reached for one but stopped midway. Sasori would kill him. After all, the redhead did warn him. And to buy an umbrella solely for a walk home seemed a little on the ridiculous side.
Dejected, he retracted his hand and reached for his wallet instead. Flipping through all the notes, he took out a ten thousand note and received another glare as the cashier mentioned how his items barely hit a thousand yen and that she was already short of small change as it was. Deidara paid for his things and walked out of the convenience store with another sigh.
Instead of lightening up, the sky had turned an even darker shade of grey while the blonde had been in the store. The sleeting rain pelted onto his skin like needles. "So much for stopping," he growled.
Stepping onto the sidewalk, he shivered as another onslaught of rain drenched him. He looked around at the smarter people who had carried umbrellas. Why didn't he bring an umbrella again? Right, because he was already halfway to the front door, and he was lazy to walk into the kitchen to get it.
A speeding motorbike zoomed past him through a puddle, cheerfully drenching the remaining dry areas left on the enraged blonde. "Watch where your bike is going, un!" he shouted, and noticed that he had gathered spectators. "What're you all looking at?" He said irritably, and they left.
Realizing that standing in the middle of the road fuming wasn't going to make things better, he started walking again.
"Oh? If it isn't Deidara..."
Said blonde turned around to see Hidan standing behind him, his eyebrows arched judgmentally above his eyes, holding an umbrella. "Hidan, un..."
"Yo!" The violet eyed man lifted up his free hand. "What you doing standing out here in this fucking rainstorm with no umbrella?"
"Oh, because it's fun, un," Deidara drawled.
Hidan blinked, his mouth slightly agape. He glanced up at the overcast sky briefly, as if taking Deidara's words into consideration. "Is it? I never knew that you liked walking in the rain. Maybe I should try it—"
"Hidan, you freaking idiot, un!" Deidara grabbed his hand before he could lower the umbrella from his head. "You really need to learn how to detect sarcasm!"
"You fucking asshole, you!" Hidan snarled, his cheeks flushed with humiliation.
"What are you going to do in life if you can't tell jokes apart, un?" Deidara hugged the juice nearer to his chest and started brisk walking back to the apartment. He could feel his shoes start to become waterlogged, producing annoying squelching noises with every step he took.
"It's my fucking life." A shadow loomed over Deidara's head and he glanced up to see that Hidan has grudgingly decided to share his umbrella. "I'm not a heartless dick," the silver haired man grunted.
"What would I do without you, Hidan, un?"
"Shut up and don't start or I'll never be nice to you again, bitch."
"Who're you calling a bitch, old man, un!?"
"Watch it, blondie!"
They reached the bottom of Deidara's block and stepped under shelter, proceeding to glare daggers at each other.
"Be grateful, won't you? I shared my fucking umbrella with you so you won't have to drag your sorry ass home in the fucking storm!"
"I was grateful until you called me a bitch, un!"
"WHAT should I call you, then?"
"Anything? Jerk, bastard, asshole? Maybe a term usually used for my gender, un?"
"...Just get your fucking ass upstairs. See you tomorrow," Hidan lifted his umbrella as Deidara got into the elevator and the doors started to close, "...Bitch."
"You fucking bastard, Hidan, un!"
The redhead watched the rain slip down the windowpanes through droopy brown eyes. He had his chin propped on a fist while his other hand dragged a pencil over his notebook in lazy squiggles and meaningless circles. It was the perfect weather to snuggle up in bed with a cup of black coffee and a nice book. He wondered if he should implement the tempting idea after all.
A bang. One second pause. A yell.
Sasori looked up from his textbook when he heard the incessant knocking and calls of "Danna, un!" Sighing, he unglued himself from his chair and dragged his feet to the door to unbolt the lock before slinking into the kitchen to get a glass of water.
The door clicked open and a very clean— or dirty and muddy and sopping— Deidara washed up into the house, heading towards the kitchen.
Sasori wasn't the slightest bit fazed when he took in the blonde's dripping form. He remembered being pleasant enough to remind him to bring an umbrella, but a certain stubborn brat had tossed that goodwill away. The way Deidara hugged the grocery bag so tightly actually made it look quite comical. The brat had major problems with his prioritizing after all. "Had a nice time?" The redhead drawled as he passed the walking puddle on the way out of the kitchen, receiving a defeated grunt in reply.
Amused, he leaned against the doorframe and watched Deidara take out the drinks, raising his eyebrow slightly when he saw the carton of milk. The blonde turned and saw him looking. Flashing Sasori a grin, he held up the milk carton, shook it and said, "I don't like bitter coffee, un."
"I know that, but," Sasori looked skeptical, "you never buy milk because you don't actually like milk, remember? Brat, is your brain all right? Milk isn't sweet either. What's wrong about solving your problem with sugar?"
A flicker of something resembling panic passed over Deidara's blue eyes. He never expected Sasori to be so observant. "Uh, I just wanted to try it, you know?" He poured himself a glass of purely milk with no coffee and lifted it to his lips. "Life's short, got to live it to the fullest, un?"
"...Brat, life is long. Possibly too long. You still have a lot of time. And you've tried milk. Remember that time in senior year you decided to give it a go? You sprayed that stuff all over my shirt." Sasori narrowed his eyes at Deidara. "So don't you dare consume milk when you're near me—"
"BLEARGH!"
Sasori froze, blinked, and looked down at his now soiled shirt.
Deidara stared at him in horror. He definitely hadn't meant to do it. He put the glass down in wild panic and blindly grabbed a cloth from the sink. "God, Danna! I'm so sorry!"
The redhead moved back before the cloth could touch him. "Brat..." His voice was dangerously threatening and the blonde swallowed, hard. Sasori's brown eyes had darkened until they were almost black as he trained the full intensity of his glare on the cautious blonde.
"Y-yeah, un?"
"Get that cloth. Away. From. Me."
"Don't you want to get the milk off?" Deidara widened his eyes in confusion.
"Firstly, that cloth is not for anything other than the dishes," Sasori growled, "and also, I am obviously going to take a shower."
Deidara blinked. "Oh."
"And as for you," Sasori stepped up and whacked the blonde over the head.
"Shit, Danna! What the hell was that for!" He pressed a hand to his head and glared at the smirking other.
"For the horrible job you'll do cleaning up this mess you've made." Sasori dropped his gaze to the ground and Deidara followed, the both of them staring at the puddle of milk mixed into the trail of water with identical frowns, hoping that if they looked hard enough they would both wake up from their nightmare. Sasori— from the mess that he called "kitchen", and Deidara— from the sudden dread creeping in after realizing that Sasori had just indirectly told him to clean up the floor.
Flicking his eyes up to the gaping blonde, the redhead smirked. "Good luck, brat." He walked off towards his room to pick up a new shirt before locking himself in the bathroom.
Deidara stood in the kitchen, frozen, until he realized something. "DANNA! WHERE DID YOU KEEP ALL THE MOPS AND DETERGENT, UN?"
Sasori groaned loud enough for Deidara to hear.
Walking behind Pein and Konan was slightly depressing, especially for Kakuzu. He not only felt like a pimple at the tip of a nose, he was the epitome of a third wheel, an unwanted presence, but he couldn't help trailing after them. Their apartments were the same way he was going.
Pein had an arm draped around Konan's waist, and to Kakuzu, they looked as if they were permanently joined together by superglue. The man sighed and shuddered when Pein leaned in towards Konan.
Kakuzu needed to get away. He needed to get away now, before he drowned in their adoration for each other— and oh God, they were standing in the middle of the bloody street, damn it, why couldn't they kiss after they got home?
If he made plans immediately, he would be able to change his route and spare himself the cringing experience of walking behind the affectionate couple. He didn't hate them, but Kakuzu had something against couples who were too publicly affectionate. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, running through his contacts. Who should he call?
Sasori? No, the redhead would probably get pissed at him for calling and wasting his time. Deidara? No, the blonde would just make him spend the entire day in the DIY store looking for a new tool— that was actually a fiction of his imagination— or something.
Zetsu? Honestly, Kakuzu was a little disturbed by the half of his body that was covered in tattoos. He would never understand why people would do that to themselves, why anyone would WANT to do that. Tobi? No way in hell, no. Itachi? Kakuzu had no qualms about him, but the Uchiha was too awkward to handle alone. Kisame? He didn't feel like listening to the tall man spend the rest of the day talking about how "gorgeous" the Uchiha was, especially at the moment. That left...
Hidan. But he was loud and annoying and he seriously irritated the hell out of Kakuzu, not to mention, the money out of his wallet. Convincing himself that he had no other better choice, he put the phone to his ear and braced himself.
"Hey 'sup fucker!"
"...Hidan."
"Oh! It's Kakuzu! What do you want, Kuzu?"
"...What are you doing now?"
"Me? I'm just walking back home now. The apartment was fucking quiet just now because you were at classes. Couldn't stand it so I went for a walk. And then there was some fucking sudden torrential rainstorm and guess who got caught in it? It was kind of hilarious—"
"You?" Kakuzu guessed skeptically, wincing at how loud the other man was, quietly accepting the fact that he got ignored.
"—and that guy was hugging his grocery bags to his chest like his fucking life depended on a couple juice boxes or something. And do you know what the fucker told me? Said to me in my fucking face? He actually dared to tell me it was fun to walk in the rain. I almost believed him. And then he had the fucking guts to tell me that I needed to learn how to detect sarcasm. Like what the shit! There I was being nice to him and he didn't even say thank you. Even called me an old man. Can you believe him? Making fun of my fucking hair color—"
Kakuzu sighed. The guy Hidan was cursing at was definitely Deidara, judging from the way he was getting all worked up. The two of them seem to enjoy, and had the uncanny ability to seriously piss each other off to the extreme opposite ends of world, if they hadn't done so already.
"—even waited for the asshole to get into the elevator before I left. Can you believe that? I was so nice to him. And he called me an old man! Oh and by the way, I saw this new bar about two streets away from the convenience store and—"
"No," Kakuzu said, his attention completely stolen by the word "bar". Hidan and bars were a terrible combination for disastrous catastrophe. It could be dangerous and something was definitely going to get hurt. Badly hurt. Something like— Kakuzu's wallet, and Kakuzu himself. Through experience, Hidan liked to punch people and lick their blood when he was drunk. Kakuzu shivered at the memory. Disgusting. Unconsciously, he thought of vampires. Even more disgusting, but his mind wouldn't stop. He thought of Hidan with fangs, and he wanted to pack his bags and move out. But that was only if Hidan got drunk. He was not letting Hidan near that bar, new or not.
"What's wrong with you, Kuzu? What do you mean 'no'? What?"
"I mean no, Hidan. No bars. You're not stepping into a bar."
"WHY?"
"Remember the last time you got drunk, and you licked my blood."
There was a pause. And then static reverberated throughout Kakuzu's ear. "YOU FUCKING LIAR! I did not. I know I punched you but there is just no fucking way I did that! Because I do not do that! Fucking hell, what are you trying to pull!"
"You did punch me. But you licked my blood after that."
"I didn't!"
"You were drunk, Hidan. Would you remember?"
"...And you didn't stop me!?"
"You could say that I was too traumatized to react."
"...GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HOME RIGHT NOW, KAKUZU. I'M GOING TO FUCKING ANNIHILATE YOU."
"Impressive vocabulary, idiot. Is that a new word I hear you using?"
"JUST GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HERE. NOW."
Kakuzu cringed again and hung up. Maybe Zetsu and Tobi didn't seem like a bad idea after all. He turned the next corner and started to make his way to their apartment. They would hardly mind his intrusion.
When Konan turned around, she couldn't see anyone familiar. "Hey, where's Kakuzu?"
Pein followed her gaze. "Off to the bank or something along similar lines, probably?"
"Oh? Why am I not surprised?"
Pein's lip quirked up into a smirk as he spun Konan around to plant a kiss on her forehead.
The blue haired girl widened her maroon eyes and blushed, pressing a hand to her forehead that was still tingling with the remnants of Pein's touch. "Wow. Now I'm surprised."
"You were supposed to be. If that does not surprise you, then I'm afraid that I've run out of tricks. My sleeves are empty."
"Oh, Pein, you talk weirdly and way too formally and shit, but I don't really give a damn, you're just so awkward and cute!"
"I'll take that as a compliment, my lady."
Konan blushed again.
Someplace else, Hidan was still shouting into his phone, not noticing that the line had been cut and that he was yelling at the dialing tone.
"KA. KU. ZU!" He growled, and stopped to take another deep breath, ready to destroy the other man's eardrums with his loudest try yet.
A soft consecutive beeping sound permeated his senses. He listened harder. "Wha..." he muttered, turning up the volume.
Beep. Beep. Beep...
Realization dawned upon him and he clenched his fist, the phone trembling by his ear, threatening to break.
"FUCK YOU, KAKUZU!"
A/N: I'm not used to writing Humor/Romance. More of an Angst kind of writer, but writing humor is really fun :D ahahaha. REVIEW PLEASE! Here's a cookie for all you readers, and for you reviewers, here's another cookie! :D thanks!