A/N: Hey, guys! I guess I got held up, but here is chapter five! Just keep on reading and write some reviews!
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Holding it Together
Chapter 5Any attempt to sleep was made in vain. Time and time again, as Neon managed to close his eyes and begin to rest, the same nightmare entered his mind, and his reaction was always the same- he'd jolt upright at the end, his furry chest rising up and down quickly while he panted, beads of sweat rolling down his face. It wasn't only that, but the green hedgehog's scar also throbbed painfully over his left eye; he'd only been able to keep his eye halfway open at times like this, because the scar on his eyelid hurt even more if he tried to open it all the way.
After what possibly was the fifth time it'd happened (of course, Neon wasn't keeping count), he let out a long sigh, barely caring that everything around him was enclosed in darkness save for the digital clock on the nightstand next to the bed, which glowed 3:04 AM in red lights. Neon solemnly shook his head, trying to knock the dream out. He could barely sleep for a few minutes before he saw the event that took place only a few hours ago, the smoky explosion tearing the castle apart, with Neon himself only moments away from preventing it all. After that vivid re-run, everything would fall into darkness, with the only thing other than himself present being the loud, maniacal laughter echoing everywhere. Then he'd fall into the darkness-
"Damn it!" Neon whispered, pounding his fist against the mattress, his head hung down miserably. There was no way he could sleep now. He needed something to occupy himself from everything, to distract his thoughts from Blaze's death.
The green hedgehog slowly slid out of bed, his right hand wandering toward the lamp's switch. He winced at the light and narrowed his eyes until he was accustomed to the brightness that usually couldn't be found at this hour. When he opened his eyes (His left eye could be opened a bit more now, the throbbing was lessening), the glint of a certain object caught his attention. The necklace that Blaze had worn was now in his possession, but that wouldn't make anything much better for him.
Neon silently picked up the jewelry and placed it around his neck, a deep feeling of passion and sadness flowing through his body. He pulled on his green, white, and blue shoes after sliding on his black, flame-design pants. The vest came on last as Neon slid his arms through the holes, his white-with-an-orange-square gloves fitted tightly on his hands. This being done, Neon ignored the cold temperature and left his house seeking something to do.
Few cars traveled the streets at this time in the morning, and Neon found it easy to get from one place to the next without needing to look left and right for vehicles. As he walked around, though, he was unaware of his slower pace, which was normally a rather fast-paced walk. It didn't matter much to him how fast he was going as long as he was occupied, and thus Neon didn't care to change his pace.
The morning fog was thick and white, making vision more difficult than it needed to be. In fact, Neon couldn't really see where he was going at this point. And maybe it wasn't just the fog that had clouded his vision, because he muttered under his breath- despite no one being around to even hear if he spoke normally- "Blaze…" He continued his walk, staring blankly ahead, for quite a while; Neon wasn't sure whether he'd gone throughout the whole city or not. He'd generally walked straight forward the whole time, occasionally taking a turn every now and then. But, at last, he finally stopped.
It had probably been his subconscious that led him to this exact place, and whether it was true or not, Neon found himself standing at Blaze's grave for the second time within twelve hours.
Overwhelmed with the unavoidable grief that had trailed him since the day before, the green hedgehog fell to his knees, his hands covering his face as he sobbed. Neon was almost never like this; perhaps it had just been so because it was the first time he had lost anyone dear to him. It seemed as if his body itself had been reacting to this event as well, as his spines with the black highlights underneath drooped down quite a bit more than usual and his body felt rather weak.
After a few minutes, Neon was able to calm down and sadly wiped away a few tears from his eyes. By now it must have been at least 4:15 in the morning, but it didn't matter. He was unable to sleep, his thoughts plagued with the lavender cat. The silence throughout all of Glint City was of rest, and Neon knew that no one else would be up like he was; not many had felt as horrible as he when it happened, and he was certain that no one would right now.
He shut his eyes and exhaled a heavy breath. The green hedgehog welcomed the darkness from being unable to see, as he just needed to think things over for a while. A shiver was sent up his spine more than once, but he ignored it. He remembered his promise to Blaze and repeated it over and over in his mind, falling deeper and deeper into the fog around him…
Neon awoke slowly and tiredly to the sounds of the city. Cars drove about and people walked down the sidewalk. But he noticed that it was very different from usual. The cars seemed to be moving slower than average, and the people outside weren't talking much. Even merely one or two birds would have the courage to sing through the silence. It was all painfully silent, a strange feeling covering the town. Most likely they'd remembered the passing of their princess.
When the green hedgehog attempted to get up, he found the weight of an object on top of him. He had been too tired to notice a moment ago, but now Neon took note of the presence of a warm, fuzzy, blue blanket draped across his body. He took it off as he rose to his feet, noticing that there were several flowers around the grave that hadn't been there earlier, and assumed that it had been a few people paying a visit.
Examining the blanket, he found a strip of paper loosely attached to it. A gloved hand reached out and took it off, and Neon brought it closer to read the words written on it:
The fire may be gone, but you can still be warmed.
Neon sighed as he ran his eyes over the paper. The handwriting was unfamiliar to him; he was curious to know who had given him the blanket so he could return it. Finding no clue as to who it was, Neon folded up the cloth and placed the note into his pocket. With no other idea as to what he'd do with the blanket, Neon placed it next to the grave, hoping whoever kindly loaned it to him would come back and retrieve it.
Looking around the city, Neon saw a clock through the window of the store that displayed clearly that it was 8:47 AM. Neon managed a smile, glad that he got a few hours of sleep. He rubbed his eyes as he walked along the silent streets, the usually cheery and kind people now quiet and gloomy. The same feeling was still housed in Neon, and he knew that it might take a while to get over it.
When Neon entered the café nearby, things weren't much different. There had been some discussion between a few people (probably because they hoped to keep their mind off of the matter as well), but otherwise the building was rather silent. And in only moments after he'd entered, everything became silent. With only the sound of breathing breaking the silence, Neon looked around to find that most people's eyes were on him. It then became sickeningly aware to him that it was probably his relation to yesterday's incident that had silenced everyone from the moment they took notice of his presence.
Neon silently took a seat amid all the stares and turned away from everyone and looked up at the menu. The conversations began again, although this time they were carried out a bit more softly.
"What'll it be?" one of the employees asked, standing opposite Neon's seat at the counter.
No reply was given, and it appeared that Neon was lost in thought.
"You okay?" the vixen asked, giving Neon an odd look.
Neon snapped out of his thought and his eyes shifted from the menu to the waitress. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine… Just get me a bagel and some coffee." he replied, sitting up from leaning on the counter.
"Sure thing." The fox replied, and she went off to fix up his order, her long, red hair swaying to the side as she turned.
It was only a few moments before she returned, and Neon handed her the $7.23 for the meal. He silently took a sip of the coffee and took to staring out the window. Once more, his mind became lost in thought, and he only managed a few more sips of his warm drink before someone behind him gave a tap to Neon's shoulder. He turned around and found an old, gray dog standing nearby. His muzzle had a few wrinkles of fur across it that match the ones under his eyes. Two blue eyes met Neon's brown ones, and he replied, "Yeah?"
The raspy voice of the dog replied in a warm, gentle tone. "You miss her, don't you?"
Neon's silence was enough of an answer for the dog, and he continued on.
"While you grieve over her, don't forget that dwelling on the past isn't always good. Remembering those lost is always the kindest way to say you care for someone, but you must also move on. Blaze is still a part of you, and don't forget that."
Neon smiled a bit. "You can say that, but it's kind of hard to move on…"
"I know," the old animal replied, a kind smile across his face, "I've had to deal with things like this, too." He began to walk by Neon and patted him on the shoulder. "Just remember to make the best of your life, and do it for her."
Neon watched as the man walked out of the café. He smiled, a warm feeling filling inside him. The man was right. As hard to say it as it was, he really did have to move on. Neon's thoughts trailed to Blaze, and he heaved a great sigh before finally admitting to himself, I can't let this stop me from living. I still have a promise to keep, after all, and I have to see to it that I make it true. He finished off his meal before leaving a nice tip and then left the café.