Chapter 2: Getting worse

As the rest of the school continued their breakfasts, Harry was looking for any way to keep his mind off of Luna and the conversations they had, had. He couldn't understand why her words affected him so badly, he had been insulted before. In fact, Malfoy made sure to insult him at least 20 times a day and that didn't affect him, but one statement from Luna and one look in her eyes, made Harry feel like he had killed an owl. He knew that his words had hurt her, but they had been the truth. Everyone, including him, felt that way about Luna, and now he couldn't understand why he needed Luna to forgive him, why he wanted her to say they were friends again. Harry couldn't understand these strange emotions in his mind, all he wanted to do was forget the things that Luna and him had said to each other, but every other moment he felt stupid for saying everything he said to her. Suddenly he heard the bell ring for class to begin and cursed. Making a mad dash for the castle, Harry ran across the grounds, through the entrance doors, up the staircases, into the Gryffindor common room, the boy's dormitory, then down the staircases, out the portrait hole, and picked up speed to make it into the back of Snape's classroom 2 minutes late. Harry wheezed into class, hanging onto the dungeon door as he tried to think of an excuse to give to Snape and tried to get his breath to return to normal. He stood up straight and was prepared with his excuse when he noticed that Snape was nowhere to be found and the normal horrible silence was replaced by the chatter of students. Harry looked around, wondering if Snape was trying to scare him and cautiously took a seat in the back.

"Harry," Hermione smiled, in the front row and Harry smiled back, still glancing around for any sign of Snape.

Harry sat in his chair tense, expecting Snape to swoop in behind him and tsk but it never happened. Five minutes passed, then ten, then 20 and Harry began to worry that something had happened, meaning Dumbledore would send for Snape's help. Finally, Harry stood up from his chair and went to open the dungeon door to go to Dumbledore's office when Snape threw the door open with his usual sneer.

"What are you doing Potter?" Snape asked, pushing Harry aside.

"Going to…look for you," Harry lied quickly.

"A likely story," Snape sneered, "Now sit down."

Harry followed his orders not noticing a dreamy girl walking next to him, "Well, now that Mr. Potter has taken his seat I believe we can start class," Snape stated and Harry rolled his eyes, "As all of you already know things have changed this year for Hogwarts. Hufflepuff is with Slytherin while Ravenclaw is with Gryffindor. Well, you 6th years will have another change this October; next to me is Luna Lovegood," Snape continued with his speech, and Harry perked up hearing Luna's name, "Now due to her circumstances, Miss Lovegood has taken her OWL's and will be joining you 6th years. You will treat her like any other 6th year and I will hear nothing more about this matter. Now who would like to be Miss. Lovegood's partner?" Snape finished and looked around the room.

Harry glanced around the room and noticed everyone deliberately look away from Snape and couldn't help but smile at his luck, before raising his hand. He wanted to talk to Luna and tell her he was sorry and this would be the perfect opportunity; she couldn't walk away this time.

"Always trying to upstage everyone else Potter," Snape tsked and nodded for Luna to go sit next to Harry.

"Hi Luna," Harry whispered as Snape put the ingredients to the potion on the black board.

"We should start on the assignment, it will take all of class," Luna advised and grabbed ingredients out of her bag while Harry ruffled his hair.

"Luna please, I am trying," Harry pleaded, "Just let me tell you-"

"Did you know that if you try really hard you can attract the norflacker?" Luna asked, pouring the wormsworth into their cauldron.

"No," Harry answered quickly, "Luna just please talk to me."

"No," Luna answered and handed Harry the next ingredient.

Harry groaned and poured the mixture into their potion, grabbing the next bottle for the potion as it turned green.

"Mr. Potter, I'm stilled baffled as to how you managed to weasel your way into advanced potions but as you have I think it would be wise to not mess up the potion on the first day," Snape sneered and Harry nodded, letting Luna get rid of their ruined potion and start over.

"I hope you aren't as incompetent as Potter in potions Miss Lovegood," Snape inquired.

"I scored a perfect on the test," Luna answered.

"You have a knack for it do you Lovegood?" Snape asked and Luna nodded.

"My mother excelled in potions, she taught me everything," Luna answered and put the first ingredient in the cauldron.

"Well let's hope you don't get blown to smithereens," Snape answered and Harry stare at Snape aghast and Luna stop breathing.

Harry looked over at Luna as Snape walk away and took the bottle from her hand, letting her lean into him, "It's okay, he's a jerk," Harry smiled reassuringly, and Luna pushed herself away from Harry.

"Thank you very much Harry," Luna answered and continued the potion process, "I will be fine and like you said, my parents had to be mad."

"Luna I wish that you would let me apologize for last night, why won't you make it so that you can forgive me?" Harry groaned.

"Did you mean it?" Luna wondered, turning to face Harry.

"What?"

"Did you mean what you said?" Luna asked.

"That's besides the point," Harry shook his head.

"No Harry, that is the point," Luna answered, "You're trying to apologized for words that came out of your mouth, you are trying to ask for my forgiveness for the hurtful things you said about me and my family. You said them Harry, not anyone else, those were your thoughts and your feelings so meaning them is the point because if you meant them then you have no place to ask for forgiveness because that would be hypocrisy," Luna answered, "So I ask again, did you mean them?"

"Yes Luna I meant them, I meant every word," Harry burst.

"I see," Luna nodded and turned back to the potion.

"No, don't bottle it up, tell me what you think of me now?" Harry asked.

"You said what you wanted and I applaud you for that Harry," Luna nodded.

"that's what you have to say?" Harry asked, his voice raising, "I insult your family, you, your beliefs, everything that I could insult you for I did and you answer me with I applaud you for your honesty?" Harry yelled, "Do you really not have a mean bone in your body?"

"What would you like me to say Harry?" Luna asked, her voice calm and collected.

"How you feel about me right now," Harry answered.

"You care for no one but yourself, you care about what people think about you but you have no consideration for how other people feel. I may be a little different, yes, but I thought that, that was what we had in common; our similarity to feel so alone in a crowded room. But you don't, you only care about yourself and your little fantasy world," Luna finished.

"Come on I can take it, finish what you want to say to me," Harry yelled making Luna turn back toward him.

"How could you be so cruel, how could you be so heartless?" Luna asked. "My mother was brilliant," Luna whispered with unshed tears glistening in her eyes making Harry want to kill himself for making Luna feel this way, "You're not different from the world, you just have a scar on your head."

"I'm sorry," Harry apologized.

"Sometimes sorry isn't enough," Luna shook her head, "you think you know it all about death Harry, but you are wrong, I lost my mom too, but insulting her memory is as bad as insulting your mother's memory. And my father is the bravest man I know and you know nothing…." Luna stopped, "Nothing."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not good enough to say sorry, besides you don't mean it so just leave it be and go back to your life and leave me and my life in peace" Luna shook her head and went back to their potion.

Harry took his eyes away from Luna and looked around seeing all eyes on him including Snape. He knew that Luna didn't notice any of this so he took his gaze away from the class and went to working on the potion giving Luna the ingredients she needed that fell on the ground.

"It will be a long year'' Harry thought as the class ended and he had an unfinished potion.

After potions Harry walked quickly to Transfiguration class, grabbing a seat closest to the back, already wanting the day to have ended. He was one of the first to arrive but noticed that McGonagall, like Snape, was missing from the classroom.

"Harry!" Ron yelled and Harry looked to the middle row, "Why are you sitting there?"

"I want to," Harry answered and Ron shrugged, turning back to Hermione.

Harry watched the two for a moment, Hermione was studying to be in the ministry and Ron was studying to be anything; after not getting into advanced potions to get one step closer to being an auror like Harry, Ron decided to let his life lead him and not worry about the future. Harry turned his head away from his oblivious friends as McGonagall walked into the room, Luna right behind her.

"Now I'm sure all of you will treat Miss Lovegood graciously," McGonagall said, after finishing her speech that was identical to Snapes, "Okay Luna take a seat by Mr. Potter, he seems to be the only one without someone next to him."

Harry hit his head on his desk as Luna made her way next to Harry, feeling utterly jipped. He had already had Luna yell at him today and he didn't want to have it happen again. Luna scooted in her chair as Harry sat next to her with his head on the desk.

"If I thought properly I would think that you are trying to torture me with having to sit next to you," Luna whispered, causing Harry to pull his head up and gawk at her, "But I'm sure you aren't."

"Okay, now yesterday we went through the process of how to find an Animagus and turn them back into a human…" McGonagall began.

"Hey Luna," Harry asked, making Luna look away from the lesson, "Did you mean what you said?"

"Yes," Luna answered and turned her head back to the instruction.

"So you can be brutally honest but I can't?" Harry asked.

"Are you really asking me that?" Luna wondered and Harry nodded, "Harry you made me say those things."

"And you didn't? Acting like you did last night?" Harry replied.
"Harry everything that came out of your mouth was hurtful, I never thought those things I said to you before you told me exactly how you felt and I realized that my thoughts of you were wrong," Luna answered.
"Luna I said I was sorry!" Harry yelled, standing up.

"You said you wanted to say sorry," Luna nodded.

"Well I am sorry!" Harry yelled.

"I know Harry, but I am only being who you said I was," Luna answered.

"Why do you have to constantly remind me of last night?!" Harry sighed.

"I could remind you of today but today isn't over yet," Luna answered, "If you decide you want to speak to me tomorrow then I will remind you of today."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! What more do you want me to do?" Harry asked, huffing.

"I want you to mean it," Luna answered, standing up, "You constantly say 'I'm sorry' but you don't mean it. You said those things for a reason Harry, you don't get to take them back now because I don't bow at your forgiveness. Did you mean them?" Luna asked again.

"Yes Dammit! I meant them, but I never should have said them to you!" Harry yelled.

"Then you don't apologize," Luna answered calmly, leaving both to stare at each other, "May I use to restroom Professor?" Luna asked and left the room, leaving Harry alone.

Harry sat back down and noticed the whole class staring at him for the second time that day and opened his notebook to take notes. Harry worked silently for the rest of the class feeling like a jerk; he was sorry, he had meant those things last night, but he didn't mean them anymore. When Luna came back Harry glanced at Luna for a moment before going back to his work, wondering how he would get himself out of this mess he created. As the class filed out for lunch when the bell rang, Harry grabbed Luna's arm, keeping her back until they were alone.

"We need to talk," Harry replied when McGonagall left for lunch.

"There is nothing to talk about," Luna answered.

"Luna I have tried to say sorry, tried to be your friend, but you're the one who refuses to even acknowledge that," Harry ignored her answer.

"You don't mean your apology, if you did then you would have never said those things, but you think that Harry so there is nothing to forgive," Luna replied.

"Yes there is, I am sorry Luna, I am but you keep treating me like dirt!" Harry argued.

"Would you rather me treat you like a king?" Luna asked before walking into the girl's lavatory.

"Man she's crazy," Harry sighed, ruffling his hair.

"I am not crazy Harry," Luna answered scaring him, "You don't get it do you? You cant not judge someone can you?" Luna demanded.

"How-how did you hear that?"

"I went in there to get rid of you not to go to the bathroom," Luna answered, "Well understand this Harry, we are not friends and I will never forgive you and if you can get that through your inflated ego then one thought I thought about you is right," Luna replied, no trace of dreamy on her face.

"Luna--" Harry sighed.

"Please, just leave me alone," Luna asked, "Please."

Harry nodded and let Luna walk away, guilt setting in as she walked away; he couldn't just keep his mouth shut.