Disclaimer: Hello all, I am not J.K. Rowling no matter what I tell myself at nights.
Also: Sorry for not updating last week, I'm trying to get into good habits with updating but I'm doing exams right now I have this case analysis that I haven't even looked at yet. But my exams are done on the 5th so after that it'll hopefully be a lot more regular updates. I'm sure that I could've gotten a chapter out last week but after I re-read my last chapter I realized how many mistakes there were, sorry for that I hope it wasn't too hard to read, so I'm trying to make sure I have enough time to edit before uploading anything.
Oh, also found out that Remus' eyes are suppose to be amber. Good. I like that better than green. Wonder if Rowling did that on purpose to contrast to Sirius' silver's eyes... in my dreams the answer is yes, yes she did.
Chapter Four: That Green-Eyed Monster
"Remus!"
Remus halted from his path into the Great Hall looking for the owner of the voice which was two timbres deeper than he knew his brother's to be. Relaxing tense shoulders that he hadn't even been aware had raised a half of an inch in suspense he smiled at the pleasant face of Justin.
"Morning, you're up kinda early," Remus remarked laughing softly at the way the boy's light blonde hair stuck up at angles in front of his face, his usual perfectly symmetrical tresses falling hazardously in his eyes.
"Who me? Naw, I'm made for this time, can't you tell?" Justin grinned widely as he shook his head in an attempt to command his hair back into formation.
Taking his usual seat at the far end of the table Remus picked up three plates, the full moon was tonight, and began filling them with an assortment of food. Taking a break from staring determinedly at the fruit bowls he was trying to guide in his plate he could see Justin looking at him with open curiosity.
"You up this early to studying for a test or something?" Remus prompted hoping that he could stir the boy to leaving or at the very least distract him enough to allow Remus to carefully finish serving himself breakfast.
"What? No." Justin tore his eyes away from the contents of Remus' now filled second plate. "Our conversation was cut short last night, just wanted to make sure that Black didn't try that Limp Leg jinx on you while you were going up the stairs."
Remus laughed openly at that finally tearing his eyes away from where they'd been predatorily eyeing a plate of bacon, wondering if anyone would really notice if the entire platter's content disappeared. "Doubt that Sirius would try that on a prefect. Even he's not that thick." Remus had no quarrels with lightly teasing about Sirius' spontaneous and reckless attitude, it wasn't as if it were one of those 'state secrets' that the Muggles were always fussing over.
"Well, with that group you never can know." Justin had finally turned his attention to the platters of food in front of him and seemed to just realize how hungry he was as he began grabbing for the bacon that Remus had been eyeing only a moment before.
Remus hummed in response, it was also no secret that the group his dormmates had formed could at times be - in Lily's own words 'arrogant toerags'. Something Remus couldn't always defend.
While he found the elaborate pranks the group pulled to be clever and often so delightfully unexpected that he could hardly contain the smile that it inspired, he also knew that the group had other habits.
James and Sirius occasionally bullied other students, particularly Slytherins, and even more specifically a tall, lanky boy who excelled in potions, Severus Snape. Although Remus wouldn't be the first one to admit it, he had to nod in acknowledgment at the fact that Snape reeked an air of hostility.
He spent the majority of his time slinking around in the dungeons, his long, sleek, black hair always smelling slightly of some foreign potion ingredient and scowled openly at anyone who managed to get in his way. While this in and of itself wasn't a justifiable warrant for torment, James and Sirius had accepted the invitation his behavior offered and publicly ridiculed him as often as Snape allowed himself to be caught unsupervised in their sights.
Glancing round he was brought out of his musings when he realized that Justin was aiming a rather pleasant smile his way. "Sorry?" he asked immediately assuming that the boy must've been waiting for a reply.
He only shrugged, his big shoulders falling in a surprisingly graceful movement before swirling his fork in the puddle of syrup that was left on his plate. This stroke Remus as a rather insecure gesture before he let himself focus on the words that where now slipping from Justin's mouth.
"Well, the Hogsmeade trip is this weekend. Good thing, huh?" the blonde haired boy stared intensely at his empty plate, ignoring the platters of food arranged before him.
Launching into the subject of Hogsmeade, Remus went over the various shops that he'd love to visit and expressed excitement to be able to see the inhabitants of the small, but well stocked pet store.
Nodding in agreement, the other boy seemed to share his sentiments. Although Remus was handling the majority of the conversation, he couldn't help but notice how tense Justin still looked.
This was rather unusual as his carefree attitude and witty humor had earned him many friends even the people who didn't know him personally generally thought of him as 'that easy going Hufflepuff.'
While Remus rarely engaged in prolonged talks with anyone, for simple fear of the conversation becoming too personal and forcing him to awkwardly flee, he'd made an exception for Justin.
He had been so kind when he'd volunteered to go over Remus' Potion assignment after noticing that Remus was too embarrassed to take up much of the group's time on a single subject despite the obvious difficulty he was having.
At first Remus had trend carefully into conversation, watching the older boy for any hint that he may suspect his secret, but Justin had proved to be as kind and witty as his reputation suggested. Eventually, they'd fallen into an easy friendship, Justin rarely questioning the few days Remus was absent from the study group and Remus finding himself almost looking forward to the quick banter they exchanged in passing on the way to classes.
The only time Remus had ever seen him this nervous was probably closer to the end of their conversation last night. The boy had been growing so quiet that Remus had feared that he'd probably look like he was intending on climbing into the taller boy's mouth as he'd shifted closer to him, trying to catch the increasingly soft words tumbling from his mouth.
The distinct sound of the morning shuffle broke through the conversation that Remus had been supporting and with a glance towards Justin, who now seemed intent on counting the number of grapes in front of him, he reached over towards the bacon and shoveled the entire lot into his plate.
"Yeah, well... I'd actually wanted to ask you about that Hogsmeade trip." If Justin had noticed the small mountain of meat on Remus' plate has he tried rather desperately to cover it with a pancake he made no comment.
"Yeah, what about it?" Remus abandoned his table manners for way of just grabbing the bacon and throwing it down his throat trying to look as civilized as possible while in the act.
"Well... I was just wondering if you wanted to go."
Remus looked incredulously at the boy. Hadn't they just spent the good part of ten minutes going over how'd they'd both enjoyed this upcoming trip? Why would he suddenly not want to go? "Course I'm going, Justin. We were just talking about that, remember?" Remus was pleased that he'd somehow managed to sound quite concerned even as he picked up another handful of bacon.
Justin's face colored in an attractive way, "No, no. I mean - like, do you think you'd like to go with me? To Hogsmeade."
He didn't use the word 'date' but somehow Remus heard it clearly and flushed slightly at his earlier naivety. He usually spent his Hogsmeade weekends, one's that he even bothered to attend, with his brother trailing awkwardly behind him and Amlise. He knew that no matter how venomously they denied it, they did wish for a bit of time alone in the romantic setting and often felt bad when he tagged along.
"Alright, that sounds great." Remus answered at length smiling up him.
"Cool," was all Justin said but the way he looked down at Remus made him sure that he wanted to say something more. Probably clarify his sexual orientation, or ensure that Remus fully understood what he was asking of him.
Remus had of course heard the rumors about Justin's past boyfriends and while the conversations he'd heard snippets of always seemed either take the side 'good for him' or 'that disgusting pounce' Remus hadn't had any strong feelings of outrage or disgust on the manner.
He himself had never had a girlfriend, nor had he found himself staring hungrily at the admittedly attractive group of Ravenclaw sixth year girls that the majority of the Gryffindor boys seemed to have taken a liking to. The only person Remus had ever caught himself thinking of, and quite a few times looking at, was Sirius Black.
Blushing at the thought of his silver eyed dormmate, Remus bite his lip in an attempt to ebb the flood of color spreading across his cheeks. While the two boys were something similar to friends now, Remus didn't dare entertain the thought of it developing into something romantic.
Justin was however, was a kind, attractive boy and when he wasn't apparently trying to ask Remus out on dates, he was incredibly funny and laid back. Remus had no doubts that he would have fun and with him there was always the possibility of it developing into something romantic.
"It'll be my first time..." Remus admitted hoping the boy understood the significance of his words.
Justin immediately beamed down at him, "It'll be great. I'm sure we'll have tons of fun."
Nodding as the taller boy seemed to finally relax Remus glanced past him to find his dormmates among the late stragglers.
Following his gaze, Justin stood from the table flicking his head to the left slightly and managing to finally arrange his hair in it's proper style, maybe Remus mused, it was time sensitive.
"Alright, well... Library tonight, right?" Justin asked simply.
"Can't. Something came up. But I'll see you round before the weekend," Remus brushed off the question almost effortfully as he waved the taller boy away.
He was not a moment too soon because as he noticed Justin sinking comfortably beside a group of boys in his peripheral vision Sirius dropped into the still warm seat.
"McDonald again, huh? He sure starting to seem...consistent," Sirius commented as he glanced over to the Hufflepuff with an unrecognizable glint in his eyes.
James roared with laughter, his usual morning temper evaporating almost tangibly from the table. This usually had the effect of making Sirius relax as he could now be confident in the easy participation of his unruly friend, but this morning it seemed to have the opposite effect and Sirius growled before flipping James off.
Remus choose not to comment on his unusual behavior and instead retreated into the safety of his Arithmancy book, revising the complex numerical sequence they were expected to learn.
Despite his position in the depths of his textbook he could feel the ill will that rolled off of Sirius' coiled shoulders and found himself wishing that he could resolve the boy's tension, has he'd done with Justin's nervousness, before he left for his first class not caring that he'd be ten minutes earlier than usual.
The sun was beginning to hang traitorously low, Remus noted, as he watched the golden sphere descend through a window above Sirius' head. Sighing he tried to draw his attention back to Sirius who was, for some inexplicable reason, waving his Potions book around going into excessive detail about how he planned on completing their latest assignment.
"Terrific. It sounds like it's going to make for a great potion." Remus actively worked his tense muscles into a fairly pathetic smile and tried not to groan as he shifted again, he only had a handful of hours before the transformation and his entire body was knotted in suspense.
Knowing he would fail but absolutely determined to try anyway he had brought his bookbag over to a quiet corner in the Common Room and had spent the good part of fifteen minutes staring blankly at the cover of his Transfiguration book before Sirius had joined him with an 'Oh Good. Your doing homework.'
He wasn't sure what had surprised him more this comment made without the hint of sarcasm or when Sirius had returned with his own bookbag and began talking insistently about their latest Potion assignment.
"You okay, Remus?" Sirius' large, warm hand found its way on Remus' left knee and all he could do was stare at it dumbly wondering if that hand had always felt so pleasant connected to his body.
He was sure he must've answered in the positive because Sirius' hand dislodged itself from its position on his knee and instead formed to wave over his head.
"C'mon!"Peter's excited voice called as a madly grinning Sirius gathered up both boy's books before following Peter to the confines of their dormitory.
Only a few steps behind Sirius Remus wasn't surprised to find that once he'd locked the door firmly behind himself, who knew what kind of delinquency he was to be made accomplice to, his roommates had already formed their tell-tale circle.
Remus had noticed that this was something they did increasingly often. James would sit in the position that naturally seemed to be the head as Sirius lounged against something, in this instance Remus' bed, and Peter sat beside the bespectacled boy edging as close as could be considered comfortable.
Prior to the beginning of their quasi-friendship Remus had often noticed similar circles forming all over the castle. In the courtyard, common room, and even once in the boy's washroom on the third floor but while he'd always been curious he'd long ago decided that someone with as many secrets as himself didn't deserve to speculate about other's.
"Well boys, I really think we've hit the jackpot with this one." Even though James' voice sounded fairly normal the way his eyes danced wildly beyond his spectacles was most certainly something Remus had not seen before.
"I've copied all the potions that could be useful somewhere down the line." A small bounded pile of parchment was produced and placed by the copy of 'Most Potente Potions' that James had laid in the centre of their circle. The boy had paused to regard it in a such a revert manner that Remus almost felt compelled to place his hand to its cover and begin reciting some form of behavioral creed.
"And let me tell you... They're good. This here - a Laxative Potion. Can you imagine?"
Sirius had picked up James' sacred book and was flipping through it without the reverent care that James had used.
"Trust me, mate. I can imagine. But I doubt that's something that we should be hitting the school with. Can't imagine what it'd do to old Dumbledore... But this -" Sirius had stopped leafing through the book and a devilish smile spread across his face. "This is perfect."
Leaning forward from his position beside Sirius, Remus along with the other two boys, looked down at the open book that Sirius had returned to its position in the center of the circle.
"Screaming Snakes Hair Potion," James whispered, his voice soft as he reached out to brush the pads of his fingers against the title of the page. Picking up his own pile of parchment he shuffled around for a bit before coming to the copied page. "It is perfect."
"We could turn the whole school into Medusas!" Peter cried wiggling in a childish show of excitement.
Remus said nothing as the boys fell, all at once, into an excited babble, going over how they could slip the potion to everyone in the Great Hall and spectating on what McGonagall would possibly look like with a bun of vicious snakes.
When the boys began discussing how to quantify the ingredients to make a potion strong enough to effect the entire student body Remus felt he had to say something. With the thought of how furious Amlise would be if anyone threatened the health of her midnight tresses he interrupted them.
"Uhm. So you guys were really thinking of hitting the whole school with this?"
"Of course. Why? Scared Prefect?" James sneered openly at him.
Remus kept silent, his eyes narrowing slowly at the bespectacled boy. While James had seemed kinder than usual after Remus had helped secure his now sacred book, he obviously still had no quarrels with attacking Remus' authoritarian position at Hogwarts.
Remus fleetingly noticed Sirius stiffen at James' words before he let out a slow breath, leaning casually against the closest bedpost "That's not it. Just thought you'd be smart enough to put something like this to good use."
He allowed himself a quick smile, barely a twitch of the right corner of his lip as he watched the boy struggled before him.
James was clearly uncomfortable with asking Remus his opinion but judging by the way his eyes swept feverishly across the pages of the book, brow furrowed in concentration, he couldn't seem to see any ways of improving their prank.
"Well? Out with it" the boy finally bite out looking up him, hazel eyes flashing with every bit of the annoyance he was feeling.
Smiling openly now at this small victory Remus twirled his wand carelessly between his index and middle finger as he leaned towards him.
"You mean you don't see it?"
Color stained James' face as Remus' taunting seemed to finally sink in and the boy scowled openly before ducking to continue examining the words of the book.
Remus watched the unruly mop of black hair for a minute, allowing the humiliation to settle in properly.
While he wasn't usually cruel it gave him a small amount of satisfaction to see James so openly uncomfortable and clearly embarrassed.
Although the boy could at times be something remarkably similar to polite, he was quick to lash out if he thought Remus was trying to curb his fun, or control him in any way. Mostly all Remus tried to do was make suggestions that would decrease the likelihood of them getting caught for their mischievous.
Sirius and Peter had seemed to understand that for they always looked slightly uncomfortable whenever James openly attacked him, regularly sending him apologetic looks whenever they thought that their friend was particularly cruel.
It was all unnecessary of course, while he didn't have many friends Remus was no push over. He was quite capable of taking care of himself and he wanted to make sure that James understood that if he was going to be spending anymore time sharing the spectacled boy's friends.
Finally he decided to share his opinions with the boy, "I'm just surprised that your not using this opportunity for revenge against the Slytherin Quidditch team."
James head shot up and his narrowed eyes widened in what Remus could only assume to be confusion.
"What? Don't tell me you've forgotten how McCowan knocked you clear off your broom during the first Quidditch match." Remus couldn't help but grimace when he'd remembered how the Slytherin Keeper had also taken an unnecessary swing at Amlise during Ravenclaw's first match against them. "They obviously have a thing for attacking Chasers. I just thought you'd want to get back at them."
The skin under James' left eye twitched at the mention of his near fatal fall just a few weeks ago. His mind seemed to have already stuck to the idea of revenge as he picked up his copy and began reading through it for specifics on the Potion.
"Can't lie. The idea of revenge on Slytherin for, well... Just about anything seems pretty good to me," Sirius said as he leaned luxuriously on the side of Remus' neatly made bed.
Peter said nothing but nodded in enthusiasm as he brought out snacks and started biting off the heads of pathetic looking half-melted chocolate frogs.
Once James' head had finally reemerged from the book he shot Remus a slightly hesitant smile before saying to his friends, "Yeah, I think we should hit Slytherin's Quidditch with it too."
Exhaling at the small victory of having rescued the beauty of Amlise's hair Remus too allowed himself to relax as he watched the boys plan their latest prank. It wasn't long before he found himself suggesting ways of spiking the Quidditch team's morning pumpkin juice.
Eventually Remus' eyes drew to the window of their dorm and he knew he could wait no longer. The last rays of the sun was casting its orange hue through the open window and Remus didn't want to take the chance of being late to meet Madam Pomfrey or risk the boys finally noticing something strange.
"Most of the ingredients for the Potion you should be able to find in the Hogsmeade apothecary and the rest... Well, I'm sure you have your ways." Remus stretched deeply trying in vain to bring himself some bit of relief from the tension in his muscles before moving to open his trunk.
"Too right we do. And trust me when I say they're brilliant," Sirius titled his head back smiling warmly at him before he noticed Remus puling out his cloak. "Wait a minute where are you going?"
Remus took his time folding his cloak into a neat square then tucking it under his arm and shutting his trunk before he finally turned back to the boys.
This was one part of their old relationship that he'd miss. The boys usually spent the majority of their afternoons lounging in the Common room or else suspiciously missing from the Gryffindor tower completely.
This left Remus the opportunity to draw the curtains tightly around his bed and cast a charm that would audibly ruffle his sheets until in the early morning. After that he would easily slip out the Common Room, no one ever questioned the movement of a prefect, and he usually assumed that they didn't even know which nights he'd been absent from their dorm.
That would obviously not work tonight.
"Just some prefect duties," Remus allowed his hair to fall in his face hoping it would cover the paleness that he knew his skin tone had taken.
"What? Now?"
"Yeah... Well, don't wait up." Remus moved towards the door but Sirius leaped up and blocked his path.
"You can't skip it? You really don't look all that well." Sirius brushed the strands of hair that had covered Remus' forehead in an attempt to peer into his eyes before the smaller boy jerked away from his touch.
"I'm fine, Black." He spat out rather venomously, instantaneously regretting it as a look of hurt passed Sirius' face.
Smiling the best he could, he reached over and grasped the hand he'd jerked away from squeezing it lightly before adding, "I'll try to think of how we can get the more... rare ingredients. Okay? See you soon."
And with that he shot one last look at Sirius and the other boys before crossing the room and shutting the door behind him.
Sitting naked, curled up in the darkest corner of the upstairs bedroom in the Shrieking Shack, Remus tried to avoid the pale light that had began extending on the floor from the window. Trying desperately he clung to the memories of his childhood, his family, the most recent summer Romulus, Amlise, and himself had spent at the Lupin cottage. When these memories began fading from his consciousness he focused on more recent ones.
Of Sirius falling gracefully into the seat beside him in Transfiguration.
Professor McGonagall's face when she'd past by their desk scrunching her nose at the scent of tobacco that lingered on Sirius' clothes.
Breakfast earlier that day in the Great Hall, Justin's tense shoulders as he'd leaned towards him trying to find the words to ask him to Hogsmeade.
All four boys huddled in the Gryffindor dormitory making plans of vengeance on the Slytherin Quidditch team, bursting out into a fit of laughter at the indignant look that crossed James' face when Peter had smeared a page of 'Moste Potente Potions' with the chocolate that had stained his fingers.
The moon had now risen fully, it's pregnant belly hanging menacingly from the sky and although Remus couldn't see it his bones reacted, answered to the call of it's magic. And he let out a painful scream.
His shoulder drew up and bent sharply back, the crack that resonated through the air ignored as blood flowed freely from his fingertips sharp, vicious nails that would in time sink into his own skin sprouted from his fingers, the bones on each elongating and breaking through skin.
His legs curled into his body, loosing their ability to stand on the pads of his feet, instead forming to hold his weight in a distinctly canine position.
By now his entire body had slumped forward and Remus found himself on his belly, his claws pressed firmly on either side of his head as his skin tingled and fur grew.
Gripping now, desperately to the last memories of his humanity Remus cried out in more pain then the entire transformation as the memory of the touch of his brother's hand against his forehead, of Amlise brushing against his shoulder, of Sirius' hand resting on his knee disappeared.
Howling in pain, the last remnants of his humanity slipped between his claws and he became the monster whose body he was trapped within.
A soft voice danced at the edge of his unconsciousness, calling him, beckoning him forward. Taking a deep breathe, Remus grappled at the memories that had evaded him, grasped to the fabric of his humanity, desperately weaving the torn pieces together as he struggled through the pain of the darkness to find himself.
Flashes came to him now. Long, wavy, golden blonde hair, a kind smiling face that cooed at him gently stroking his cheek - his mother. Strong hands, hoisting him up to rest on broad shoulders as his Dad ran with him wanting him to feel the warmth of the sun and the breeze flying through his hair. His brother's hand within his as he pulled him forward, urging him to run faster, the laughter in the boy's throat escaping as they raced, hand in hand, towards the cottage, towards their family, towards their home.
That's right. He was Remus Lupin. He had a beautiful mother, strong father, and a brother - who would squeeze his hand and lead him through the small cluster of trees closest to their home.
With these thoughts collected, safe once more in the recesses of his mind he pushed the darkness away and called towards the light.
"Remus, your awake!"
Delicate hands brushed the hair on his forehead away, stopping only for a moment to rest there before they fell down to his cheeks.
Remus looked up at earnest face of Amlise, her chocolate eyes shining happily as she glanced meaningfully across his bed. There, Romulus' face came into sight as he fixed him with a crooked grin.
"All right?"
"Course. Don't I always sleep in?" Remus stretched exaggeratedly ignoring the stinging on his left shoulder at the movement, and instead focused on how the creases in his brothers' forehead disappeared as he threw his head back and laughed loudly.
"Shh!" Amlise reprimanded instantly, but even Remus could see how the corners of her mouth arched up. "Honestly, I can't go anywhere with you two."
"Lighten up, love." Romulus reached into his robes and pulled out a small slab of chocolate, unwrapping one end before letting it fall on Remus' chest.
"Madam Pomfrey would skin you alive if she saw you feeding her patients junk," Amlise narrowed her eyes at the offending piece of chocolate before Remus stuck it greedily into his mouth.
"What? Poppy? Never. She loves me," Romulus' brows moved in an imitation of a Muggle actor they'd seen at the cinema that summer and even Amlise couldn't stop the flow of laughter that escaped from her.
"Shhh! Honestly, Ms. Cho this is a hospital not your dormitory," Madam Pomfrey entered from between the curtains surrounding the area of Remus' bed shooting Amlise a dirty look before turning to Remus who had thrown the remaining chocolate beneath his sheets.
"How are you feeling dear?"
"No worse than usual," he replied honestly. It wasn't as if he was foreign to the dull ache that settled in his bones, and he knew that the small flow of blood leaking through the bandage of his shoulder would in time stop.
Pomfrey busied herself with redressing his wounds, stopping momentarily to run her wand across a particularly nasty looking cut before forcing him to down three, rather disgusting tasting potion, one of which he immediately recognized as Blood Replenishing Potion before finally satisfied.
"Alright, you're fine to leave when you feel up to it. But you know the rules, get straight to bed and absolutely no magic until your wounds have healed, understood?" Pomfrey shot him a menacing look and Remus knew that if he attempted even a simple levitating charm he would be back in the hospital wing, forcibly bound a bed before he could finish uttering 'Leviosa.'
Shooting one last dirty look at Amlise she disappeared through the curtains to tend to her other patients.
Looking quite flustered Amlise didn't dare speak as she stood up and gathered a pile of parchment on the bedside table which Remus assumed to be the homework she'd collected for the classes he'd missed that day. Nodding silently at him, she scowled at Romulus before stepping outside the curtains giving Remus privacy to change.
After he'd shed the hospital gown, with some silent help from Romulus, the three students began the ascend to the Gryffindor Common Room. He knew that it was almost dinner time but he wouldn't dare show his face in the Great Hall, not when he knew that he wore fresh scars from the night before.
Looking wistfully down the stairs that would take them towards the kitchens, Remus almost stumbled as Amlise laid a deceptively strong hand on his shoulder steering him towards his dorm.
"Don't worry about food. I've packed everything you need in here." She lifted his bag for clarification. "You've got soup, tons of vegetables, and liver - I've heard that's really good for you."
Remus paled slightly at the diet that Amlise would subject him to until he felt ready to venture into the kitchen himself, shooting a pleading look at his brother, he almost cried out in relief when Romulus gestured to his own bag mouthing 'Chocolate.'
"I think you'll be fine in time for the Hogsmeade trip actually," Amlise turned to him again, eyes sweeping across his body for the umpteenth time that afternoon.
"Can't wait to get to the Three Broomsticks, I feel like I haven't had a Butterbeer in years," she grinned up at Romulus blushing slightly as he laid his hand on the small of her back.
"You'll want to check out Tomes and Scrolls, right?"
"Well..." Remus trailed off, he'd hoped that he could avoid such an awkward conversation until, well, until the day of the trip where he could gesture to Justin and shrug before disappearing with him. "I won't be going with you guys this weekend."
Romulus frowned at that, "What? It's the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. And I promise that we won't go anywhere near Madam Puddifoot's." He made a quick face at Amlise before bursting out into another round of laughter.
Smiling at him Remus shook his head before continuing, "No, I just mean that I'm going with someone else."
"Oh really? Like a date? Do we know her?" Amlise's eyes sparked with something undeniably mischievous and Remus made an internal note to keep her away from any dates that he managed to secure in the future.
"Something like that. Justin McDonald, the Hufflepuff," Remus clarified unnecessary his eyes refusing to meet theirs as he cursed the slow pace that he was limited to.
"McDonald... He's a year younger than us, right? The sixth year?" Amlise turned to Romulus who nodded briefly.
"He seems like a nice guy, heard he's really funny," she supplied when it seemed like his brother was not going to say anything.
Reaching the entrance of the Gryffindor Common Room, Amlise turned towards both boys before shuffling her feet silently and placing Remus' bag by his feet. "I've got to check something out from the library real quick. I'll see you at dinner." She pressed her lips to Remus' forehead causing him to flush in embarrassment before cupping Romulus' cheek and disappearing down the hall.
"Aren't you gonna to say something?" Remus asked finally as he stared at the Fat Lady trying to look as though she wasn't paying much attention to the brothers in front of her.
"Gimme another minute." Romulus' face had that blank, distance look that it formed whenever he was working on a particularly difficult puzzle. His fists were clenched to his side and his eyes stared unseeingly at the suit of armor that stood a few feet away from them.
Remus stared at his brother's clenched fist wondering if the other boy wouldn't hit him, before the fist grew impossibly tight and his brother took a deep breathe.
"Right... Right," Romulus shook his head a bit and turned back to Remus focusing on the small boy before him. His top teeth grazed against his bottom lip and he shifted his weight from one leg to another, looking uncomfortable and for once, unsure of how to hold himself.
"So then... you think... you...you like this bloke?" Romulus asked meeting his brother's eyes before color stained his face and forced him to look away again.
"Well, he's pretty nice to me and he's fun to be around."
"Remie, just because someone is nice to you doesn't mean that you like them like that," Romulus said sounding pained and like he was clearly wishing that he didn't have to have this conversation.
"I know that, Rom." Remus said unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice, "I know the difference. I don't know what to tell you, it's nice to be around him... "
Remus quieted taking a deep breathe before continuing, "It's fun, okay. It's fun to be around him. He's laid back and isn't nosy. I feel normal and...and happy."
Remus didn't mention that he had noticed how attractive the older boy was, the way his brother's face had paled already told him that the boy properly couldn't handle much more.
Romulus said nothing but nodded, eyes still focused on the stationary suit of armor. "If you're sure."
Remus smiled up gratefully at him, his brother didn't mention it but he knew he wouldn't tell his parents, he'd give Remus the opportunity to figure out what he was doing, what he wanted before sharing anything with their parents.
"And hey, if he's turns out to be an asshole. Amlise and I can hex him well into next year."
Remus burst out laughing, happy to see his corners of his brother's lips crinkle in the familiar carefree smile and the tension disappear from the air.
Making one last face, a token from their days on the playground, Romulus withdrew a large brick of chocolate from his bag and handed it to his younger brother. Cupping his hands behind his head and still laughing he disappeared down the corridor.
Remus sighed turning to look at his left side in the full length mirror by the door of the dorm, he didn't think he looked much better from this angle either.
Wrinkling his brow he turned back to his trunk, searching for something, anything that would make him look fit.
Nothing.
He wore a pair of black jeans with an oversized, dark green jumper and his standard, black school cloak fastened around his neck. Not for the first time, he did wish that he had something that stood out from his usual clothes, he realized that he regularly dressed like he was headed to the library or preparing to take up his Prefect duties.
"Oh good, you're ready," Sirius entered the dorm, grinning good naturally at Remus before headed to his own truck. "Wouldn't believe what I just went through. Filch kept accusing me of hexing that bloody cat of his red. Personally I thought that it matched her evil eyes, he didn't seem to see it that way though. Threatened to keep me from Hogsmeade, like that bloody git has enough magic to do such a thing."
Sirius had retrieved his cloak, a stunning charcoal color that brought out his eyes, and flung it carelessly over his own clothes, ripped jeans over a black and grey stripped jumper before headed to the door.
"Coming?" he asked as he turned to regard Remus who was staring wistfully down at his own ensemble.
Nodding wordlessly, he followed Sirius and was soon joined by both Peter and James, who looked like he was having a good day and greeted him with a small smile, before heading down to the entrance by the Great Hall.
Stopping, Remus lingered by the large doors, looking around for Justin. He could see a group of Hufflepuff boys who he was sure Justin regularly hung around with but he couldn't see his wavy, blonde hair in that crowd.
"Remus? C'mon. Let's get a carriage." Sirius gestured to the gates a small distance down the grounds where Remus could see the white carriages, some already moving towards the village.
"Well actually..." Remus couldn't believe his luck. He really had no intention of having this conversation with his dormmates, after all, how could he have guessed that they'd expected to go with him to Hogsmeade.
"What's wrong?" Sirius asked his voice growing softer as he took a step closer to the smaller boy effectively blocking him from sight of his two other friends.
At that moment Justin appeared at the stairs leading up the Great Hall and waved over in Remus' direction, "Hey!" he greeted smiling even from a distance.
Remus waved a hand weakly in his direction, watching as the older boy drew closer to him before turning back to Sirius.
"Actually, I'm headed to Hogsmeade with Justin. I didn't realize that you guys would want to do something."
Sirius was silent and instead choose to watch as Justin finally approached the two boys, stepping closer to Remus then strictly necessary and beaming down at him. "Ready to go?"
Nodding, Remus turned back to shoot one last look at Sirius. "Maybe if we're all at the Three Broomsticks together we can grab a drink."
Remus was met with more silence but at least this time Sirius was able to jerk his head in an affirmative answer.
Somehow knowing that this was the best that could be expected Remus left with quick goodbyes to both Peter and James before walked towards the carriages with Justin.
Thankfully, Justin was a lot more relaxed than he had been a few days prior. The boy's eyes sparked with life as he eagerly led Remus from shop to shop not complaining when Remus spent an extraordinary time staring at the different kinds of chocolate available at Honeyducks. Justin even suggested that they stop by Tomes and Scrolls because there was a book that he wanted to check out that he doubted Madam Pince would stock.
"Let's head down this way," Justin suggested as he steered Remus down a snowy pathway, despite the fact that it had only barely started to snow at Hogwarts Hogsmeade was coated in a thick white layer making everything look pure and fresh.
"That building looks creepier every time I see it."
Justin was referring to the Shrieking Shack and Remus silently agreed with him. He hated seeing it at night, knowing that it's dark confines promised nothing benevolent but during the day, the small house didn't look much better.
"True, I don't usually come by here." Remus smiled up at him wondering not for the first time if he was acting normally, he'd never been on a date before and in all honestly this didn't feel any differently from when the two boys usually spent time together.
"We can keep going." Justin took Remus' hand in his interlocking their fingers and lead him away from the house, a blush spreading across his face.
Oh. Now Remus understood. His stomach had given an unusual lurch when Justin's fingers had touched his and he was sure that his own face had gone up in flames.
Gesturing to a near by bench Justin sat down with Remus' hand still clasped in his grasp and a blush still coloring his cheeks.
Unnerved by the silence Remus worked to fill the pause with a synopsis of the chocolate at Honeyducks, trying hard to keep the envy out of his voice when his eyes flickered over to Justin's own large bag of sweets.
Laughing, the boy reached in and retrieved a large slab of chocolate, and while Remus salivated unashamedly, broke off a piece and held it up to Remus' lips his mouth in a hesitant smile.
Blush growing steadily more prominent by each passing minute, Remus opened his mouth to what he hoped was an average size and allowed the boy to feed him the piece.
Silence once again fell over them as Remus suckled gently on the piece of chocolate.
"I hope your enjoying yourself," taking in Remus' nod, the older boy continued, "I am too. You're really fun to be around."
Justin's grip tightened on Remus' hand and when he looked up to meet the older boy's blue eyes he saw Justin shoot him a resolute look before leaning forward.
Breathe catching, Remus stilled, his face now embarrassingly hot and hoped that he wasn't about to make a complete fool of himself.
"MCDONALD!" came an infuriated yell.
The boys jerked away from each other before their lips were able to meet and looked towards the sound.
Sirius was speeding towards them, his face in a mask of pure rage as he screamed violent obscenities at the boy. James and Peter trailing after him with a look of sick enthusiasm on both their faces.
"Sirius! What's wrong?" both boys launched off the bench as Remus ran to meet Sirius trying to keep him from Justin.
"That fucking git hexed me!"
Now directly in front of Sirius Remus could see it, the left side of his face had a large, black mark stopping at his ear that looked like he'd been hit with a burn hex.
Biting his lip, Remus shook his head confidently. "No, Sirius. It couldn't have been him. He's been with me this whole time."
Sirius looked down at Remus and for a moment the smaller boy was sure that everything had been sorted out.
That is until Justin made the tactical error of approaching them, anger framing his features.
"Oi, What's your bloody problem?"
Sirius' eyes landed on Justin, going hard for a minute before his face contorted in an angry, cold expression that Remus had never seen.
Sneering he replied, "you are, you bloody git" and drew his right fist back slamming it into Justin's jaw.
Thanks again for all the reviews, favourites, and follows I really appreicate it. It's great to know that people are actually interested in my fic.
Oh, and hopefully my writing is getting better with each Chapter, I'm always reading it a week later and finding something that I want to improve on. If you see anything please feel free to mention it.
Thanks for reading!