"She's real pretty, ain't she."
"She's good." Jayne turned, startled away from watching River dance down in the hold.
Kaylee had joined him on the catwalk.
River knew they were watching, of course. She always knew he was there.
"Reminds me of my sisters." Jayne grimaced at the misleading statement. His feelings for the young Reader weren't even close to brotherly. "They all danced."
"Fancy ballet like River?" Kaylee looked at him curiously. That was odd out on the rim.
"Yeah. There was a school the next town over. Woman who ran it used to dance in the Londinum Ballet. Ma wanted us to so we - they did."
"You danced?" Kaylee's eyes were wide and interested.
Jayne rolled his eyes and turned back to watching River.
"Yeah." He said finally. "Started when I was four and took lessons until I was thirteen." He glanced down at Kaylee again. "I got teased some, but they were just jealous. There I was surrounded by ten or twelve pretty, graceful girls. And I was friends with them all. Even after I stopped taking lessons, they were still my friends."
"You should dance with her." Kaylee suggested.
"No." He turned away. "I don't remember anything. It was too long ago."
"But…"
"No, Kaylee. I'm sorry it came up at all." He frowned, sighed. "That was too long ago."
"Do you ever regret that you and I didn't get to more than flirting?" Kaylee asked, looking at her thumb, cleaning some grease from under the nail.
The question startled him. "Sometimes." He admitted. "You're happy with Simon."
Neither of them knew if it was a question or a statement.
"Oh, yes." Her whole face lit up brighter than normal.
"Well, good." His eyes drifted back to River. "What about you? Do you regret not taking up with me?"
"Sometimes. Mostly when you're working out." Kaylee laughed. "Then I get close enough to smell you."
"Hey!" Jayne made a face at her, more offended than he wanted to be.
"What about River?" Kaylee had a girly little smug smile on her face. "Would you regret it if she moved on and found a fellow and you never once asked her to dance?"
Those words triggered thoughts of a different kind of dancing he and River might get into. He stomped on the wayward thoughts. Not ones he should dwell on when there were no warm, willing bodies to be found.
"Ain't a good idea, Kaylee." He said after a moment.
"Why? Don't you like her? Don't you think she's pretty?" Looked like she wasn't gonna be giving this up soon.
Jayne scowled down at Kaylee.
"Did River send you to find out if I might like her?" He asked in a low, angry voice. "Like a teenager in a schoolyard?"
"Well, no." The usually bubbly engineer looked a little frightened.
"Has she told you she wants me to court her?" He didn't let the hopeful cross his face.
"Not exactly."
"Then stop it. Don't set me to thinking on her." Jayne stared unseeing into the hold. "I ain't the kind of fellow you should be pushing towards her. Away is more like it."
"Do you have feelings for her?"
Jayne paused, looking down at his friend.
"Doesn't matter if I do or not." He said finally.
Kaylee peered closer. "You do. I've seen you look at her sometimes."
Jayne turned his face away and closed his eyes. "Doesn't matter. Stop pushing, Kaylee."
Kaylee watched Jayne clomp off in the direction of his bunk. She bit her lip. She knew Jayne as well as anyone did.
She'd bet a ripe strawberry that he was already at least half in love with River. She could also tell he wouldn't be acting on his feelings until he got a 'go ahead' sign from River.
That was the truth of why he hadn't pursued Kaylee herself when they met. Mal had badgered her into not giving him a clear sign.
Interesting.
The ship stopped for refueling at one of the big sky malls and everyone went out to shop. Jayne was back first, relaxing with some new quality 'reading' material in the lounge.
"Jayne?" Inara was smiling at him in her 'womanly wiles' way from the doorway.
"Yeah? What's up?" That tone usually meant she wanted him to change a light bulb or something.
"I have something for you, a present." She held up a big ribbon wrapped box.
"What is it?" Jayne felt justified in being wary. 'Nara had never given him anything before.
"The rest of us celebrate our birthdays. You've been with the ship a long time, Jayne. I owe you at least one birthday present, don't I? More like three or four."
Jayne continued to stare at the box like it might be a live grenade.
"Don't worry, I'm not expecting anything in return." Inara cajoled. Then she got exasperated. "Take it, it's getting heavy. It's just a gift."
"But…" Jayne let the box be thrust into his hands. He thought back, it was true. She always had something in store when she knew a birthday was coming up. Alright, so it might be as harmless as she said. "What is it?"
"Open it and see." Inara said encouragingly. "It wasn't easy to come up with something. Weapons seemed obvious, but you choose those yourself. Special food would be gone too quickly. Pornography would be inappropriate."
She was babbling. Inara was babbling over wanting him to like her present. Huh.
Jayne hefted the box. It was heavier than he expected. He opened the wrappings and a rich scent filled the air. Jayne had never smelled anything quite like it. Woods and fields and…
"Soap?" He stared at the writing on the box. "You got me a crate of soap? Is this supposed to be some sort of joke? If you want me to shower more than twice a day just say so. I still think once oughta be enough." That argument was years old now. Hadn't come up in a long time.
"No. That isn't… I mean…" Inara sighed. "It wasn't meant to be insulting, Jayne. It isn't a joke. Like I said, it was hard to come up with something you might like but didn't already have."
"I have soap." Jayne protested. "I use it too. Twice a day and behind the ears, just like…"
Inara interrupted him. "Yes, you have soap, but it smells like lye. Smell this, don't you like the smell?"
Jayne lifted the box. "Yeah." He said finally. "It's a good smell. A man could smell like that."
"Exactly." Inara agreed. "It should last ages too. I got a good price for buying the whole box."
Somehow the thought of her getting it at a discount calmed him.
"Well, thank you, I guess." He didn't know what else to say.
Inara smiled at him and then swept away.
Jayne looked down at the soapbox again. 'Natural Sandalwood Soap, Handcrafted On Osiris.'
River noticed the difference in Jayne's smell right away. She was shocked. Possibly even angry.
Then she took a deep, calming breath. Jayne couldn't have done it on purpose.
He hadn't heard their conversation at the tavern. There must be some logical explanation for the coincidence.
River breathed in again, letting her eyes flutter shut. Wow. She thought he smelled good before, but… wow.
She felt a familiar sensation in her torso. Tightness in her chest, a twisting feeling in her stomach, a tingling feeling just lower.
She opened her eyes to find Inara watching her.
The companion's expression was innocent enough, but she was… Watching for a reaction to…The new soap she'd given to Jayne.
River's eyes narrowed.
"Inara?" River hoped her tone adequately conveyed her annoyance. It must have, because Inara looked guilty.
Jayne looked up too with a startled, wary expression.
River smiled tightly. "I need to speak with you, Inara."
"River?" The innocence had left her face, replaced by something resembling fear. Good.
"Now."
Inara stood. "In the shuttle then?"
River nodded, following the woman she'd counted as a friend just moments before.
River cycled the shuttle airlock closed and turned to Inara.
"That was your doing." River said. "Don't deny it, I just Read it off you. What the hell were you thinking?"
"River…"
"And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." River warned. "Couldn't you have chosen some other scent? Lemon or Vanilla or… did it have to be the one smell I'd just told you I love?"
Inara was silent, but her mouth worked like she was trying to come up with something to say.
"You've got to be kidding." River's mouth dropped open. "You're matchmaking! I don't believe this."
"Only a little." Inara confirmed.
"But matching me with Jayne? I don't even like Jayne." River took a calming breath, she was starting to sound hysterical. "Inara, what ever gave you such an insane idea?"
"You did, actually." Inara said. "You're always watching him out of the corner of your eye."
"Possibly because I don't trust him?" River suggested angrily.
"At first, maybe." Inara agreed. "But not for a long time now."
"No." River said firmly. "I am not interested. No, no, no."
"I'm sorry, River. I won't do anything else. I promise."
River sighed and shook her head. Inara was still her friend. Strangely enough, the Companion thought she had River's best interests at heart.
"Fine. And I will get used to a Jayne who smells of sandalwood and cigar smoke." River swallowed. It wasn't exactly going to be easy. "Please… never do anything like this again."