Wandering Aimlessly

.one.

I know, I know, I suck at titles. Just ignore it, alright? It comes from the anime, "Those who live in darkness wander aimlessly". You know, they say it at the end of every episode. This fiction is actually based more on the manga though, because I… like it more? I guess? Anyway, I need five reviews before I put up the next chapter, alright? This is yaoi (Tsuzuki + Muraki and Tatsumi + Watari), by the way, so don't yell at me if you didn't know! I warned you!! There will probably be lemons in the future, by the way! Oh, I think you should read some of NaPap's work by the way. Like, Dark Adaptation, which inspired me to write this. You go NaPap!!

Disclaimer

I don't own Descendants of Darkness/Yami no Matsuei. Be thankful.

Here we goooooooo!!!

.Tsuzuki Asato.

"Tsuzuki, wake up! Wake up before Tatsumi gets here and beats your ass! Wake up!"

Watari's warning was quite valid. If I hadn't gotten the report over the expenses Hisoka and I (Well, mostly I) had encountered on our last case finished, Tatsumi would grace me with the full animosity of his wrath. Grace me? I guess maybe not grace. Bless me. Bless me with his flaming rage and reprimand. That sounded right.

"I'm... awake," I said blearily glancing around with lavender eyes. Watari smiled at me, "You owe me one!! If I hadn't woken you up... well, the outcome would be nothing short of a second death, my friend."

I nodded meekly in agreement.

"Are you okay?"

"Huh? I'm just still a little tired. Alright," I clapped my hands together, throwing myself back into my regular mood, "now I can get some work done!"

"Where's Hisoka?" Watari asked, glancing around the room, "Doesn't he usually supervise your work?"

Hisoka didn't supervise my work. He peered at it like he was some sort of vulture, and my work was the dying animal.

Hadn't Terazuma compared my work to a carcass once?

Well, it didn't matter if my work was a carcass because Hisoka wasn't a vulture. He might be close to one, however. Though, the amount of sympathy and care he had been directing towards me since Kyoto surely made him seem a little sensitive for a vulture. He was just Hisoka. Human. Maybe not always humanly kind, but human. Certainly good enough. His intentions were good, and that was all that mattered. That's it.

Watari sighed, "I should leave. I have my own work to do, and I shouldn't be the cause of two missed deadlines."

He must be referring to the fact that he had been distracting me from getting anything done. We had been having stupid conversations, many which revolved around Watari's ravenous appetite for romance. He had another date coming up, and it just so happened to be against the rules (ah, leave it to Watari if Mr. Asato Tsuzuki can't get the rule-breaking done!). He was dating some mortal artist named Hira Andou. I had been shown numerous pieces of the man's work, and had to admit I was impressed if not terrified by the startling amount of enmity displayed in each masterpiece.

I had taken the responsibility of covering for Watari when he was out with Andou on his date. I was supposed to stay out of sight, and pretend I was at a bar somewhere with Watari. Maybe I would even go to a bar... drinking had been added to the lengthy list of Disgusting Attributes of the Purple-Eyed Freak.

Ever since Kyoto, I had been having trouble accepting myself. Besides, the only reason I was still around was Hisoka, and nothing had changed between us. Well, Hisoka held a nuance more care, and he had a tad bit more mercy, but my feelings... hadn't changed. As much as I wanted them to, I knew even Hisoka could do a lot better then some purple-eyed freak.

Although, there was one person who loved my eyes. Who complimented them every time that we met.

Yes, Muraki, that's you. You don't have to be so damned pleased about it, either. It... it doesn't mean anything! Bastard...

I certainly did not miss him. He was even more of a freak than I was. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore!

That might be a bit of a lie...

I wanted to dash that silver-haired cranium of his against a wall, rip out his spine, beat him with it, then curse him! All the while screaming for Hisoka, and everyone else he tortured and killed! But I wouldn't scream for myself. Regardless of the things he had done to me. He had successfully killed me inside, and come so very close to killing me physically. So close. I wouldn't even had stopped him...

That didn't mean it wasn't still a possibility. Hisoka had notified me long ago that the bastard was still alive. We couldn't know how he was doing, however, and if his lust for blood was hurting other people. If he was taking advantage of the Ministry's oblivion.

Watari shook my shoulder, "Hey, you doin' alright there, Tsuzuki? I could help ya out with some of that work..." I looked over at- I glared over at him, "No," I said tersely. Watari was obviously intimidated. He stood up to leave.

"I'm sorry, Watari. Thank you for the offer."

He left, blonde waves trailing behind him, 003 buzzing around his head in concern.

I wish I knew what kind of expression he had been wearing. I sat there, my deadline drawing close, papers left in front of me, untouched. I stared at the clock, feeling far away. Two seconds before 9:00 AM, Tatsumi entered the room, "Tsuzuki, you had better be finished with that report! I'm not in-"

Ah, so he noticed that quickly.

Wet tracks trailed down my pale cheeks, my long eyelashes were wet and stuck together, my eyes red-rimmed and swollen. "Tsuzuki?" his voice shook. He hated seeing me cry. He always had. I never understood why, and Hisoka had told me there was a reason. He wouldn't tell me this reason. He was already upset with himself for telling me some of the things Tatsumi had said to him when I was stuck in one of the Count's books a few months ago.

Tatsumi always reacted like he had some sort of phobia towards my tears. Hydrofreakphobia I called it. He hadn't shown any signs of trying to cope with this phobia yet, and didn't seem he was about to worry over it. But it was only my tears. Not Watari's or Hisoka's. He always rushed over to them if they cried. Except maybe if Watari's tears were poverty induced. Was I really so awful that even my tears didn't make me human? I wanted Hisoka. I wanted his confirmations of my mortality.

"Please, Tsuzuki!" he said, "Don't do this! Please, stop it!"

"Tatsumi!" I screamed, "Tatsumi, why!? Why can't I cry!? TATSUMI!?" The taller man stared at me as I shivered there on my knees in the middle of the room. I have never replied after he begged me to stop. I needed an answer, though, and he seemed to realize this.

"T-Tatsumi..." I spluttered, hugging myself insecurely. This action usually caused Tatsumi to break, and run off in retreat. This time, though, he dropped to his knees in front of me, "Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki, no, I'm sorry. You're allowed to cry. You can cry. You can... cry."

He unsurely lifted his hands, then dropped them. Lifted them, left them above my shoulders like some sort of cage, and before he could drop them down again in indecision, I fell forward and buried my face in his chest, "I'm s-sorry! S-sorry, Tatsumi! I'm s-s-s-so sorry!" Tatsumi did not say anything. He let his hands rest on my back as I sobbed, crooning. Then, "What is it, Tsuzuki? What's wrong?"

I would usually choose not to answer, but Tatsumi had never asked me something like this before, and I found myself all over the opportunity to confide in him.

"I-I always want to save people! I want to save them, but every day I have to watch them die! Sometimes I have to help them die, Tatsumi! I d-don't want them die, Tatsumi! I don't want to have to watch them die and not be able to d-do anything ab-b-b-bout it! M-my eyes are different and I'm just a b-big, ugly, inhuman m-m-m-m-monster that brings death!"

Tatsumi 'shushed' into my hair, "No, Tsuzuki. No. You're human. Human."

No one else had ever said it before. Just Ruka and Hisoka.

"But," he continued, "You are different You have demon's blood, Tsuzuki, but no one minds. No one sees that in you. We love you. Actually, I do see that in you, but you are a demon of love."

"A demon... of love?" He was getting corny, and I could sense it.

"Yes, a demon of love. The only time you become fierce, is when you are protecting someone. You don't even have to know their name, but you instantly love them, and they mean more to you than you're own life does. A demon of love. I admire it. Tsuzuki, the only thing about you that's inhuman is your ability to be so caring."

I looked up at him, trying to read his expression, "Oh." Well, what was I supposed to say?

"Tsuzuki... Asato..."

He used my first name? Man, who was the last person to have done that? Chief Konoe? Terazuma, maybe. That was years ago. Maybe... twenty-seven years

ago. When he and I had first met. "Seiichiro...?" Ha! I used his first name. Though I was so afraid of doing so, I doubted it sounded very sincere at all.

He blushed, and was obviously surprised, but another voice entered the room, and broke the awkward atmosphere that was germinating between us.

"Hey, Tsuzuki! Did you get the report finished? Tatsumi?"

Tatsumi was considerably larger than me. He had wider shoulders, and he was at least three inches taller then me. I was invisible to Hisoka's eyes behind the wall that was Tatsumi's wide body.

"Yes, Kurosaki, he got it finished," Tatsumi lied, standing up (which made me somewhat disappointed). I'm sure he knew there wasn't a single word on the papers on the desk.

Hisoka saw me breaking apart on the floor. It must've looked pretty pathetic.

"Tsuzuki?!" he rushed past Tatsumi and collapsed in front of me. I heard the door close. Tatsumi had left.

That seemed to have me disappointed also.

Hisoka had instantly placed his hands on my shoulders, and he was trying to make eye contact with me. I wondered how much pain I was putting him through by

letting him come in contact with me.

"What is it, Tsuzuki?"

I... didn't feel like confiding in Hisoka.

That confused me. I had always used the boy as an emotional outlet. Always. Now I was simply frustrated that I had caused an affliction in both Tatsumi and Hisoka's day. I hoped Watari didn't return, that Chief Konoe didn't show up.

It wasn't a nice thing to hope no one would come to see you. It wasn't something you enjoyed, praying your friends didn't some to see you. That is how thoughts of suicide developed.

"Tatsumi and I don't care, Tsuzuki! Look at what you're doing to yourself! No one hates you but yourself, you fool! No one hates you!" It was like I had spoken my thoughts to him. I didn't have to use the boy as an outlet, he could suck it out of me.

"They should!" I screamed, "Hisoka, I hurt you! I've tried to kill you!"

"You stupid fool! Why the Hell would I get myself bloodied up and then go and beg you to stay, then, huh!? I can't do a damn thing without you! If you left us... DAMNIT! Tsuzuki, I COULD NEVER HATE YOU!!" he was going to cry. I made Hisoka cry.

"Terazuma hates me!" I cried, unable to stop, "So does Tatsumi!"

BWUMP!

"DAMNIT!!"

Now, it's beyond me how I could have possibly thought that this booming, explosive voice had come from Hisoka's tiny frame. I really don't know how I could have thought that. It was primal, guttural, positively carnal. It nearly made me smile when I pictured such a voice erupting from Hisoka. Then, who was it? I stared at the kid, and followed his gaze to the door. Tatsumi stood there, fuming. His shadow was moving, ruffling at the edges and fanning out, like it was the embodiment of his rage. Tatsumi controlled the shadows. That was his ability.

He sighed after a minute, and wiped his bloody knuckles off on a white handkerchief he had pulled out of his pocket.

"T-Tatsumi?!" Hisoka all but squeaked.

"Asato," his voice shook with emotion. He seemed to be ignoring Hisoka completely. The boy looked like he was about to pass out. Too many emotions. Tatsumi must have hit a breaking point.

"Asato, I do not hate you. I may be very angry at you sometimes, but that is my own fault. You have never had anything but good intentions for us. I..." he paused to take a deep breath, "I am very angry with you right now, due to," he paused again, this time pocketing the handkerchief, "due to the whole fact that you have convinced yourself that I hate you. Perhaps, Tsuzuki, I could ask you why?"

I shuddered, "It's just..." I flicked my eyes in Hisoka's way, worrying over his condition.

"Kurosaki? Could you give us some privacy?"

I was shocked. I didn't want Hisoka to leave, but this was definitely the idea he got from Tatsumi's words. His already large, green eyes managed to widen, "Sure," his voice shook. It was tiny. Opposite of Tatsumi's explosive roar. What did that mean? Hisoka was never this emotional for so long. It must've been the influence from Tatsumi and I.

I really hated myself.

"I'm sorry, Hisoka," I called as the teenager left silently, "So... sorry."

"Asato Tsuzuki," Tatsumi spoke, drawing my attention back to him, "I do not hate you. I never have, and it's impossible to think that I ever will. You always do your best for us. All you want is good things for us. You do absolutely everything in your power to keep us safe and happy. We wouldn't get by without you. Oh, and I'm sure Terazuma doesn't hate you."

"But... all we do is fight."

"You just don't agree all of the time, Tsuzuki. And the fights you have are nothing serious. When it comes down to it, Terazuma really does care about you."

I wasn't convinced. That man had never said a single kind word to me. Then again, I wasn't very nice to him myself. I was just a pain in the ass (and the everything) for him. Always getting him into trouble...

Tatsumi must've noticed my doubt, because the sigh he emitted was very heavy.

I looked up at him, eyes watery. I was beginning to feel more pathetic then in a state of self-loathing, which was good, I suppose. Better, maybe. "Tsuzuki, I have a feeling that Terazuma would be extremely upset if he heard you talking like this. Everyone loves you. It's impossible to hate you. You've never done anything wrong."

That was something I didn't feel like talking about. I tried to bring up the smallest offense I had made, and I found... it's wasn't so 'small', "I have blown the library up. Twice."

"It wasn't intentional, Tsuzuki. You wouldn't have done it, given the choice."

Ugh. He was so quick with his comebacks. It was wearing me down. He was completely overpowering me, totally getting the better of me. I was being bludgeoned. I couldn't win this argument. Actually I couldn't win any argument when it came to Tatsumi. I don't think anyone could. He always seemed three steps ahead. He was so much... smarter than the rest of us.

"Let's go back, okay? Well, actually, I'll stay here and finish my report."

Tatsumi shook his head and stood up, holding his hand out, "Don't worry about that right now, alright?"

I took his hand and stood up slowly, not really tugging on him or using his strength. I still had his hand once I was up. It looked like we were introducing ourselves.

"Humor me, Tsuzuki. Go eat something and get some rest. Try and forget about this for a little while at least. You're just... so hard on yourself."

I nodded, then glanced at our hands before bringing mine back and sighing, "I hate being a burden."

Tatsumi looked at me, and decided not to say anything. He didn't want to start the whole thing back up. This was one topic we would work on another day. Obviously the way I saw myself and the way they saw me were totally different. Plus, they all shard the same opinion. Except Hisoka, who simply cared even more.

He crossed his arms briefly, then pointed at the door, "Go on, Asato. Go..." he sounded stern for about a second, but it melted instantly into a warm smile.

I smiled back, eyes still wet, unaware of how scarring it was to Tatsumi. I wanted to ask him about using my first name, but I feared I would either make an awkward atmosphere, or get him angry. I was probably supposed to know why he had switched to using my first name.

"Okay, bye. Thanks, Tatsumi!" I waved before closing the door behind me and hurrying down the hall in search for Hisoka. The boy was probably really hurting. I would be to if I were him. He had been sent away, his company and comfort rejected. He hadn't been treated with rejection for such a long while... this probably brought back awful memories as well as creating a new one. I was terrible.

"Hisoka?" I asked the empty briefing room. He was probably in the library. Unfortunately, I still wasn't allowed in there. This was the most likely reason of him going in there in the first place.

"Humph, fine then." I turned away from the room, and spotted Chief Konoe lumbering down the hall and shuffling through a newly received file. I had an urge to run away, but remembered I was done with my breakdown, and headed towards him, "Hey, Chief! Have you seen Hisoka?"

"You seem happy, Tsuzuki," he said, looking at the back of the file to see if it was the right one, "You must've pleased Tatsumi with your report."

I twitched, guilt poking my heart and wanting to be let in. I hadn't done anything, and Hisoka would probably end up doing the whole report later, "Ahahaha... new mission?"

"Yeah," said Konoe, opening the door to the briefing room, "It's for you two, so we'd better find Kurosaki, okay?" he looked up at me, "Tsuzuki...?"

Damn. My eyes were still wet. I was such a fool. I smiled broadly, and wiped my eyes, "Sure! I'll keep looking!" I turned around and began to run off, "I'll bet he's in the library!"

"Tsuzuki...!?" he called after me. I heard him sigh, then the door was closed.

Damnit, damnit, damnit! Damnit! Now he was going to worry about me! I had put a hurt on his day... damnit! I had to be extremely careful not to let Watari see me until my eyes had dried. Maybe I should do the same with Hisoka... No, no time for that.

"Gushoshin?"

Damn, forgot about them. I would either have to sneak in, or ask for Hisoka.

"Gushoshin, is Hisoka in there?"

"Tsuzuki! You're not allowed in the library!"

"I'm not in the library! I just need to find Hisoka so the chief can tell us about the newest job request! Is he in there?"

There was a pause, which must've meant the boy was in there. It was as if the Gushoshin were debating on whether or not I really needed to know.

"He told us not to let you in. He really doesn't want to see you right now, Tsuzuki," the door opened, and the two birds hovered in front of me, looking solemn, "Did you two... fight? You're both looking bad."

"It's hard to explain, but we didn't fight. I just made another... mistake," I didn't know how else to put it. I really wish Hisoka didn't misunderstand. I was actually worried about him when my eyes darted in his direction, but Tatsumi thought I was uncomfortable explaining anything when he was in the room. Now he must feel betrayed and humiliated. It was as if we had told him then and there that the relationship Tatsumi and I had together was bigger and better. He was probably hurting all over now.

"Let me in..." I begged, "I want to apologize to him."

"Tsuzuki, you misunderstand. He really doesn't want to see you right now. Whatever mood he's in... we haven't seen him like this before, and he trusts us to keep you out. We're sorry," as the elder bird began to close the door, I stepped in the way, but didn't yet force entry yet.

"Gushoshin, I'm coming in," I stepped forward, pushing the door open. The birds sighed and shook their heads, but they moved out of my way, then floated back over to their work. I would've gotten in sooner or later anyway.

"Well, be careful," Gushoshin warned, "He's not going to react very well to seeing you."

I tried to laugh, but I choked, so I smiled instead, "Believe me, I know," I moved past them and sighed, "Here I go, then..."

I heard Gushoshin as I went, "Oh, Tsuzuki... what did you do...?" I could see him there in my mind, shaking his feathered head as he picked up a stack of books so he could get back to work.

Well, more importantly... what was I supposed to say to Hisoka? He probably wouldn't want to listen to whatever it is I said, but I still had to convince him to listen to my plea. Whether he wanted to or not, he would end up listening as I groveled before him, begging for forgiveness.

I moved slowly, not happy with the fact that he would be seeing me before I saw him. It was a big library, with plenty of hiding places, but if Hisoka said he felt my presence in his sleep... well, I didn't stand a chance. Maybe Hisoka would evade me every time I got too close? Well, I could always send someone else after him. He'd probably see through that.

Well, I needed to think more about now.

"Hisoka…?" I ventured bravely forward, ready to take whatever reaction he had to my arrival. Or so I told myself. How did I not know that I had broken him to a certain point where he had gone insane with emotional hurt and now held shimmering, silver knife in which he intended to maim me? It was a possibility, was it not?

"How the Hell did you muster the nerve to come here, you bastard!?" He stood up from behind a shelf, glaring.

Now, Hisoka had glared at me plenty of times. Which I'm sure you're aware of. I had been thinking about food too much, I was asleep too long, I was late, I was whining too much about nothing, I needed to work more, I needed to put effort into my work… you know, the everyday cycle. But this glare… oh, Lordy. It was unrivaled. To say Hisoka was livid would be an understatement. There was no status of rage that went above livid, was there? Not rage… whatever it was, I couldn't describe it. I had never even seen Tatsumi display this level of… anger? That word sounds so pathetic compared to whatever this is. This complete sense of loathing he now had for me, was very visible, even without empathic powers.

"Hisoka, listen," I said cautiously, holding my hands up in an attempt for some sort of defence.

"To Hell I will!! What makes you think I want to listen to you now, Tsuzuki!? You had your chance! I don't want to hear your excuses for this!!" He'd thrown a book at me. He liked to read, so it was pretty big. I'd dodged just in time, not without making a girlish squeak of surprise. He sounded like a teenager yelling at his parents. A young, misunderstood teenager.

Which was exactly what he was.

It was so… undesirable. I think he knew that, too. Who knows… teenagers tend to be sort of oblivious to such things. But, isn't that what this was? Didn't Hisoka wish he could be with me? That he could win me? It was unfair, really. Tatsumi was younger than me, really. But in body and mind… so much older. Mature and wise… he could take care of me. Hisoka must've learned that was what I needed. He must've learned… he couldn't do it. So now I had confirmed my rejection. And he was… angry?

"Hisoka, please! Give me a chance, at least!" We couldn't work unless we resolved this. I may not want to be his companion, but I was still eager to keep him as a work partner. I did like Hisoka. Very much. Despite what he thought. How did that work, anyway? Wouldn't he know how I felt about him? Wouldn't he be able to see my thoughts on him? He was empathic, and he could read me like an open book. With or without those powers, I'm sure.

So why was he so angry? Couldn't he see what the situation had been in the other room? Tatsumi wanted him to leave so we could have a… moment. So what was he doing playing dumb?! I was getting angry. I needed to listen and get this figured out.

"Oh, so you're worried about work?! You think if we're not partners, you'll actually have to do some goddamn work!?" He shrieked. I bet he felt pretty mighty using all of those bad words. Oh, dear, was I supposed to be intimidated? Probably. It seemed he just threatened to leave me without a partner again. Which terrified me, really. But I chose to toss the threat aside. I don't think Hisoka really wanted to leave me, so I shouldn't let him get me worked up. I sighed. This was going to be so hard.

"Hisoka, I'm sorry. Seiichiro was the one who asked you to leave, not me."

"It doesn't matter!!" he screamed. I believe he was about to have a breakdown. Emotional or… something. Some sort of breakdown. I didn't want to see it. I couldn't be the cause for his utter depression. I'm sure I had already fulfilled that many times, but I couldn't watch it. Besides, this time it would be a lot worse.

"Look, Tsuzuki! I didn't risk my life to save you just because it was the right thing to do! Believe it or not, I care about you quite a bit!! Apparently, TATSUMI," He put a lot of strain on that name. At first I thought he was being obnoxious, and trying to express hatred towards him, but then I realized I had used his first name. Which I now regretted, "is more important to you! The one who hesitated to save you!"

Now he was being obnoxious. I furrowed my brow in a deep V shape. I couldn't believe he said that! What a brat! He must be inebriated on his anger, or something, for he was saying a lot of stupid things. And now… I was feeling grumpy, "Hisoka! Tatsumi told me he hesitated because he wanted to respect my wishes!! How dare you use that against him!? He was very upset about it for a long time! We don't need to revive the events in Kyoto anymore, anyway!! It's something I don't like talking about, after what I put you all through…" and I wouldn't have to live with the damn guilt either if Touda had been able to succeed. He, too, only wanted to respect my wishes.

Hisoka was staring at me strangely. He looked confused? What the Hell was he confused about!? "Now you're defending him?" he said, assessing my words in his mind. He didn't look well, really. Kinda pale. More pale then usual, I mean. He was rather misty eyed and he swayed drastically every few seconds. My fatherly gears, though rusty, kicked in and began to turn, "Hisoka, we should sit down. We should try and talk this out calmly," I spoke quickly, eager to get him on the couch soon.

"Fine," he said, monotone. His way of maintaining his dignity was predictable. He couldn't willingly go along with anything I said or agree with any of my suggestions or ideas. Childish, really.

We sat down on two opposing, maroon couches, and stared at each other from across the dark, wooden table between us. I saw a few books piled to my left. Romance novels? Was that what Hisoka had been reading? I sighed. Poor kid. He was probably really hormonal inside. He was 16 in body, and those hormones came with it. He would always have them, too.

"What's up, Hisoka?" I said calmly, trying to get his full case before I started yelling at him. I was so frustrated. This was all just stupid jealously. He envied Tatsumi for getting to comfort me. He should know that there would be plenty more opportunities for this. For some reason, it hadn't seemed to have hit him.

"What's there to explain? Couldn't you figure it out?" He was still mad, even?

"Tatsumi just wanted to talk to me in private?"

"Adult talk?" He said, rolling his eyes.

So now we were treating him like a kid again? Honestly, even if Hisoka was my age, I don't think I would prefer him to Tatsumi. I couldn't say that, of course, and I should erase from my mind before he detected it.

"Hisoka, I'm too immature to have an adult talk with anyone. Especially Tatsumi. He's above me. More sophisticated. If you must know, he just wanted to tell me he didn't hate me."

Hisoka folded his arms and looked away, finding the Gushoshin buzzing around much more captivating then me, "And I suppose he couldn't do that with me in the room?" I see, he was afraid of my reaction. Pushing me gently, seeing how far he could go before left. Urgh! I wanted to slap him across the mouth!

"He just wanted it to be a moment between us! Stop being so selfish and realize we have a relationship too! I don't belong to you, Hisoka!! I'm not yours!" And now I regretted saying that. I knew how he was going to feel about this statement, even without empathic powers. He probably wasn't even mad in the first place. I'll bet his behavior was just a defense mechanism! Who knows how upset he had been. And now, I made it worse. Ripping open the healing wounds I had inflicted some time ago. I was terrible.

"You know what?" Hisoka stood up, and I braced myself for whatever was coming. I deserved it, "Let's just go."

What? Huh? Go? Where? Where's the yelling? And screaming? And violence? Where were the tears? And guilt?

"The Gushoshin said the Chief had a job for us. Come on," He looked away from, me and stared at the door, willing it to open and let him escape.

So that was it? It wasn't all that big of a deal before, but if I just let it sit and fester in Hisoka mind, it would germinate into something huge and positively troubling. I didn't need to deepen his emotional scars. He would leave me and I would be without a partner. That was terrifying. Scarier than fire, death, and pain. Scarier then Muraki. Or the Count! I never thought it would be possible for Hisoka to leave me, but now that I saw the turmoil in his mind, it could happen so easily! I couldn't let it. I remember the Tsujira fortune we got so long ago. How it said we were the worst possible match. Hisoka said the worst was behind us though! He said it! And that was right before Kyoto. Kyoto, which everything seemed to trace back to now. The entire judgment bureau had a personal grudge against Muraki now, and it was because of me and my actions in Kyoto. I know I couldn't save Hisoka from him. That happened before I could take action… but I should've protected Watari, Konoe, and Tatsumi better. From that man's… Muraki's… evil. It was all. My. Fault.

"Are you sure?" I said slowly, "Don't you think we should get this solved first?"

"I understand the situation, Tsuzuki. I can read you, remember?" He tried on a smile. So, he could read me. What did that mean? Anything?

"I'll try and stop being so… clingy. Okay?" he didn't feel like waiting for an answer. He walked hurriedly towards the door, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. I guess I'd have to let this go for now. I didn't have the ability to stop him from leaving, or make him listen any longer.

"Okay…" I sighed, walking slowly after him. Gushoshin looked up at me as I passed, "Gee, Tsuzuki. Don't worry, I think this is going to work out okay. He'll understand soon!"

Thank you, Gushoshin.

-END CHAPTER ONE-

Tsuzuki: Who am I supposed to be paired up with in this? I don't understand!!

Hisoka: I'm not a brat! Amou, you totally insulted me in this!

Amagumo: I was playing Tsuzuki's thoughts, not my own!!

Tatsumi: You didn't make the pairings clear at all, Amagumo.

Amagumo: Come on, guys! First chapter! Don't insult your own story!

Watari: I was hardly in it! Wasn't I supposed to be a main character?

Muraki: I wasn't in it at all! Just mentioned!

Tsuzuki: Good! Stay away!

Watari: Well anyway, Amou told us this would be a Tsuzuki X Muraki fanfiction.

Tatsumi: Yes, and Watari X Tatsumi, too! Who's Hira Andou?!

Watari: Ummm… He's really nice, Tatsumi!!

Amagumo: It will be, guys! I swear! I know it seemed like Gushoshin X Tsuzuki or Hisoka X Tsuzuki, but I swear, it'll work out soon. Watari, you're soon to be dumped.

Watari: Huh!?

Amagumo: Anyway, I need reviews in order to continue! So if you liked it please review! I'll wait for… five. Anyway, I know this chapter wasn't very good, and it moved kinda fast (even though it was so long…), but please bear with me! It'll get better, I promise! Next chapter, Watari and Tatsumi!! Maybe Tatsumi…

Watari: Yay!!

Tatsumi: Hey…!