Wandering Aimlessly

.three.

So I've decided on the permanent pairings in this fanfiction. Tatsumi X Watari and Muraki X Tsuzuki. For those of you who didn't know, I had been thinking about changing it to Watari X Oriya and Tsuzuki X Tatsumi. I adore Tsuzuki X Tatsumi, but this would not be a proper fanfiction without Muraki! I love Muraki! I feel so bad for him! My interpretation of his feelings might be different then some people's, however, and I tend to feel bad for everyone I meet.

Anyway… Muraki's in this chapter! Yeah! We switch to his point of view (POV) later on in the chapter! Oh, and Tsuzuki might seem a little OOC to some of you when he gets pissed off at Hira Andou. Just to warn you. Please enjoy and give me reviews! Negative and positive are both needed!!

Disclaimer

I don't own Descendants of Darkness/Yami no Matsuei. That's a good thing.

Tatsumi: Does Watari get dumped now?

Watari: Hey! You want me to get dumped!

Tatsumi: … Yes. (duh?)

Amagumo: You're paired with Tatsumi, Watari. Not Hira.

Hira: Why!?

Muraki: I'm pretty sure no one cares about you.

Hira: What!? That's so rude!

Tsuzuki: But he may be right.

Muraki: Finally taking my side, beloved?

Tatsumi: Shut it.

Muraki: Hmph.

.Tsuzuki Asato.

"I know Hisoka! I'm sorry! I had to talk to Watari about something! Yeah, I had to! It was important. Not a date. No…" So I caused the briefing to be rescheduled?! Bid deal! That was a good thing, wasn't it?

"Alright, Tsuzuki. Fine. Just don't be late next time, alright?" Hisoka said, exasperated. There was silence.

"Hisoka?"

"Can I tell you something without you freaking out?" He sounded tired. Dealing with me must be a hassle.

"Of course! What's up?" Silence. Silence. "Hey, Hisoka?"

"You've seen my curse marks, right?"

Uh, yeah? "I remember them."

"They were causing problems on that mission in Tokyo the other day."

"Are you alright?"

"Tsuzuki, I'm fine. Don't you know what that means, though?"

"You've told me. Muraki's alive. I know. We're going to find him, remember?" I dodged a tidal wave as a car passed through a puddle on the road. I was in Tokyo now, waiting for Watari's date to end. I wanted to know how it went with Mr. Andou since I had nothing better to do. Tatsumi was with him too apparently, and I felt a little left out. I was tempted to go in there now and get something to eat, but I didn't feel like it would be worth it, for I'd be yelled at later.

"Tsuzuki… it means Muraki is in Tokyo."

I turned around in a complete circle, half in confusion and half in paranoia. Muraki was in Tokyo! I was in Tokyo! Mad man! Tokyo! Me! Tokyo! He could be near me now, ready to attack! "What? Are you sure, Hisoka?"

"Yes. My curse only reacts like that when he's around. Sorry I didn't mention it sooner." He hung up, either having better things to do then talk to a purple eyed freak or being attacked by something. I think he was just done with this. Perhaps he didn't want to hear any more of a reaction from me.

So… Muraki was here. In Tokyo. I knew that much, but seeing him would still cause some sort of ridiculous reaction on my part. I wonder if he knew I was so nearby. It wouldn't surprise me. It would terrify me. I always felt safe as a Shinigami, but Muraki completely turned that feeling upside down. He was above me, and I didn't understand him. So I feared him. Immensely. I didn't think it was safe for me to face him alone if he did show up, so I decided I was allowed to take cover in Good Mornings. Tatsumi and Watari would take care of me, right?

I stepped into the building, immediately warming up, took a deep sniff of the wonderful aroma that surrounded me, and… fell down.

Yes. Fell down. Can't you read?

Mollified, I scrambled backwards into the corner of the room, but it didn't help me gain distance from my fear. Where were Watari and Tatsumi!! He was here. HE was HERE! Sitting among civilians, drinking black coffee and eating a dainty, little omelet. I needed help.

Wait… that was Watari. Watari was dining with him. With Muraki!! Tatsumi!? Where was Tatsumi!?

Well, now that the spasm of shock had passed, I realized the advantage I had. Muraki didn't know I was in the room. He was laughing. The expression he wore was so unlike him it made me want to vomit. He had truly changed if he was able to be so easy going and discard his sophisticated demeanor. Slowly, I crawled along the wall towards the table. Once I was close enough, I launched myself at the bastard in a method that made me look like a pouncing cat more then a desperate man.

Muraki's reflexes had dulled considerably, for I easily had my hands around his pale throat, "What're you doing here, you bastard!? Answer me!"

Now, it is beyond me how anyone is supposed to be able to answer a question when they are being mercilessly and violently strangled. It is even more beyond me how I could lose myself enough to ask someone I was strangling a question. And even farther still beyond me, he opened his mouth and tried to answer. Not even a strangled noise emitted from him.

"Tsu-Tsuzuki!" Watari, along with many other customers, stood up, "Stop it! You're gonna kill him!"

A: Who cares?
B: As if I could kill Muraki.

C: As if I could kill Muraki with my bare hands.

"Tsuzuki! Tsuzuki! Tsuzuki!" he chanted, growing frantic as the Muraki in my hands grew- somehow- more pale. I didn't really understand why he hadn't escaped yet, but it was completely possible that he wasn't in peril. Come on, this was Muraki we were talking about.

"Please! It's not Muraki! That's not Muraki!!" Watari begged, tugging on my sleeve and trying to pry me off of the man.

What was he talking about!? Look at him! Look at that… blonde hair? Startled, I released my hold and stumbled backwards. I fell again and the people watching the episode asked a few questions. I didn't hear anything, however, I simply stared at the man as he rubbed his sore throat.

"What?" I said, voice heavy. His blonde hair was wavy, but styled the same way as Muraki's. His one visible eye was green, and after a few seconds of waiting I saw that his right eye was green too, as well as being completely normal, "What was that?" he said raspily.

I was scared shitless, "I-I-I-I-I-I…" I was staring, "Muraki?"

Watari crouched down in front of me, "I know, that's who I thought he was at first, too. This is my boyfriend, Hira Andou."

Oh shit! I had attacked Watari's boyfriend! He was going to hate me. Both of them. I had been so hung up on meeting this guy and this is what I did as a first impression. The amount of bad luck present in my death was ridiculous! You'd think I'd get a better death since my life was so crumby, but apparently I wasn't even deserving of a chance. Well, I didn't blame whoever it was pulling the strings. I was too much of a risk, I suppose.

I tried to throw a hail of apologies at him, but he spoke before I could, "My, who is this Muraki? You both seem to have a rather strong aversion to the poor man. You've never said anything about him, Yutaka. Is he a Shinigami?"

I made a weird noise, then spoke, "Shinigami?"

"Hira already knows that story, Tsuzuki," Watari said plainly, "Are you alright?" for some reason, Watari was asking me, not Hira.

I nodded, looking down, "I'm sorry, Andou. I've been on edge," now on to more pressing matters, "Watari. Where's Tatsumi?" I wanted to warn him.

"Is everything all right?"

"Hisoka told me…" Should I tell him this? Was that the right thing to do? I suppose I wouldn't know. I didn't really want to ruin the rest of Watari's day, and certainly not the rest of his date, but, to me, this was important, so I decided to tell him, "That Muraki is here in Tokyo."

Watari's body seized up and he looked over at Andou, "Love, would you mind if-," the Muraki-look-alike held up a head, "You have to let me come too. I want to talk to this Muraki guy since he seems to be causing you so many problems."

I couldn't possibly let Andou get involved with Muraki if I had the power to stop him. This was my chance, right now, to save him, "You can't!" I said urgently, as though I was running out of time, "No, you can't. He's not an ordinary man. You can't," I couldn't help but allow my current problem to pop up again, "Where's Tatsumi?" my plea to Andou was weakened considerably. Completely forgotten.

Watari's gaze shot in the direction of the door, "He… left already."

Agh! No! If Muraki saw him walking around alone out there, he would definitely try and attack. If Tatsumi was alone and so very off guard… Muraki really could do some damage, "Damn," I snitched venomously, stood up (why hadn't I already stood up? Good question. I don't know) and shot out of the door, past the customers who were still staring.

Where would Tatsumi have gone? He'd been to Tokyo many, many times, and he liked it here, so he would probably be walking around somewhere. Anywhere. Where did he go when he was in Tokyo? (Hee!! It rhymed!) I should know this!!

"We're coming!" Watari called from somewhere behind me. No, no! Andou couldn't come! He couldn't! What was Watari thinking? He shouldn't delve in this! This was a half supernatural serial killer! He could easily get a hold of Andou, and it would be my fault. I spun around, ready to protest.

"No, Tsuzuki! He's coming too! I'm getting him involved, not you!" Watari said threateningly, "He'll be alright." What could I say to that? I had more pressing matters to attend to anyway. I was in too much hurry to argue.

"Watari, do you know where he went?" I asked.

He shrugged, "He told me he wasn't going to the bureau. I have his cell phone number," he offered, "He said to call if I needed. 356- 2792."

I yanked my cell phone out of my pocket and repeated the number as I punched it in frantically, "356- 2792."

Andou nudged his lover, confused, "I've seen how fast Mr. Tatsumi can heal, and you said Mr. Muraki wasn't a Shinigami, so what're we so worried about?"

If I wasn't so busy listening for an answer from Tatsumi, I would've attacked him again.

"Tsuzuki? What is it?" The answer came, and it already sounded worried.

"Tatsumi? Are you alright?" I knew after I spoke how stupid of a question it was. He had answered the phone, hadn't he? If Muraki had attacked, I don't think Tatsumi would have the time or the permission to answer. Actually, Muraki would have probably answered.

"I'm fine. What's wrong, Tsuzuki?" he was deep into his mothering mode. Though I can't think of anything that would happen that I would need to call Tatsumi about. Besides this.

"Where are you?"

"Do you need me to come back to the bureau? What is it?"

"Please, Tatsumi! Just tell me where you are!"

"I'm in a shop close to Good Mornings in Tokyo. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I'm coming to the shop! Stay there!" As if I could help him any if Muraki did show up. I'd only be a hindrance.

"Can you give me directions from Good Mornings?" I said, looking around, "I'm there now."

"Look," Tatsumi said, getting impatient, "I'll just come there, alright?" he hung up. I guess that would be easier, though more risky.

"Well?" Watari said, coming up behind me.

"He's coming here."

"Where is he?" Andou said, trotting over.

"I don't know."

"Did you tell him his favorite doctor was here in Tokyo?"

"Wait!" Andou said quickly, "You couldn't mean that this Muraki you're after is Dr. Kazutaka Muraki, could you?"

We both faced him abruptly, "You know him!?" Watari said, baffled.

Andou was smiling. Why, if he knew that freak, would he be grinning? "Yeah, he's great! He taught me!"

Huh… how old was Muraki, anyway?

"Do you know where we could find him? Where he lives?" Watari moved closer to the Muraki-look-alike, and placed his hands on his shoulders as though Andou was a little child being asked if he stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

"Tsuzuki!"

I admit it, I was horrified. I should've known better, but somehow I had convinces myself that Muraki was behind me, calling my name. When I turned around and saw Tatsumi coming after me, I felt much better, "Tatsumi's okay!!" I shrieked, latching myself around his waist. I dunno, I guess seeing him confirmed that he was completely alright and Muraki hadn't 'gotten him'.

"Watari," Tatsumi said from over my head, "What's going on?"

Watari turned away from Andou for a second, "We've found Muraki."

Tatsumi stiffed as he held me, "Should we go to him now?" he said, taking a serious tone. I moved away from him, "No, we can't. Hisoka was the one who told me he was here, and he'll know if we confronted Muraki without him. We can go at it tomorrow."

How annoying. I'd rather go at it now. Maybe we could call the bureau and get Hisoka to deliver himself to Tokyo? Probably not, he knew I would be after Muraki now, and if he wanted a hand in it at the moment, he would've popped up in Tokyo.

"He lives in a mansion not too far from here." Watari announced.

A mansion, eh? I suppose that was quite possible, given the amount of money he had awarded my existence with. Though I thought he would have gone bankrupt after such a show of philanthropy. I thought it foolish for him to give me all the money to his name, but after Kyoto, I figured he had just not needed the money anymore. I was apparently a better charity case then starving children around the world.

Then it hit me. What if the money Muraki had was stolen?! It would certainly make sense. He could easily obtain money through threats and intimidation. Any day now, the police could show up at my house asking if I had relations to a one Dr. Kazutaka Muraki. Then I would be poor again and…! Oh yeah, I died in 1926. I don't know how much of a threat the police of Japan were to me at this point, if any at all.

"I don't think I have the willpower to let him have another night to himself," Tatsumi said stiffly, "I think Hisoka will understand if we make a move."

But we weren't prepared! Muraki could- what could Muraki do? He really was harmless at this point. He was just good at evading things, and inflicting emotional turmoil and agony. We wouldn't be able to let him get away this time. Besides, Watari and Tatsumi were impervious to Muraki's malignant ways of psychological torment.

"He might not be home," Watari suggested, "So if we at least go check, we'll feel better when we get home. We won't feel guilty for not even trying."

"Alright," I nodded, "Alright, yeah. Let's go."

And we set off, Muraki's blonde look alike leading the way. Andou must really admire Muraki to style his hair that way, since he had no irregular right eye to hide. I wondered Andou even knew about Muraki's eye. Though I suppose if he did it would be no big deal. I just liked using it as a symbol of his inhuman level of evil. I suppose I could see how Muraki was admirable, if you didn't know of his inner being.

A hand on my shoulder, but this time I knew who it was by identifying the voice that accompanied it, "Tsuzuki, are you going to be alright if we do this?" Tatsumi said.

There were a number of things he could've meant in saying that. The countless possibilities of what might happen came back to haunt me. Physical harm, emotional harm. The many things that branched off of that. Dr. Kazutaka Muraki was close to executing every possible pain possible, whether he was performing them on me, or people I didn't know. The only way that I could ignore the words coming out of his mouth is being blinded by pure rage, or being physically seduced (I mean molested) by him. I feared that the latter was a wide possibility, unless he was rendered helpless from his Kyoto injuries.

"I can do this," I convinced myself as a reply to Tatsumi's worry. The mixed feelings I had for that bastard Muraki. The mixed feelings he had caused me to experience.

"We'll be with you!" Watari reminded, "We're not going to let him do anything to you!"

I felt so pathetic. They weren't even the slightest concerned about themselves, or even Andou. It was just me. Only me. Usually being protected felt quite flattering, but this situation was just so degrading. I felt like a little kid, finally catching a glimpse of the crap Hisoka had to go through. Perhaps why I felt so responsible for their well being. They never thought Muraki would be able to do anything to them. Possibly because he'd never had much of an interest in them. Now things would be different, though such a realization terrified me.

Andou, who had been completely abandoned in all of our thoughts, stepped forward, "You can't possibly be planning to attack him!? He couldn't have caused you any trouble before. What is it you have against him?"

I really didn't think I was liking Andou. Which wasn't fair for him, because it was not his fault for being so oblivious to our situation. Or maybe it was. Perhaps Muraki had put his money to use and hired this man to get close to us. To spy, to weaken us, to warn him about our approach. Something. There were plenty of things he could be doing. Though admitting he knew Muraki made it seem a little less of a possibility.

Tatsumi spoke for us, "Mr. Andou, sir, you'd be surprised," his tone of voice was amusing. Something I didn't think I'd really heard before.

Watari sighed, "He isn't really what you think, Hira, dear," he said sympathetically.

Andou had already launched himself into denial. He wasn't going to be having any of this, apparently, "Sure, he's sort of emotionless, but he is a good person! He's a doctor! He saves lives!" It was three-to-one, no doubt Andou was feeling a little desperate. He might've been convinced that he could really change our feelings on Muraki.

I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. This guy was so hopelessly turned around! Even thinking about a holy Muraki made me want to retch. Muraki! Saving lives! No! My job was killing people (if you really went to the clear image of it)! Muraki was not the savior! He was not the good guy! That was me! And Hisoka! And Tatsumi, Wakaba, Terazuma, Watari! My friends could not be 'bad'. I.. I-I saved Hijiri! But Kazusa… who hadn't even been on the Kiseki. Who hadn't even been part of the assignment. I had killed her.

A strange, undeterminable noise rose up in the back of my throat and I stopped walking completely. I didn't feel like starting a scene, but this realization was so brutal. Andou was looking at me strangely, and had begun to move towards me. Watari, bless him, stopped the man and I was saved. Maybe Andou was right. Muraki had certainly saved more lives than I had. There was that period of time before he had gone insane, and he was helping people for a steady income even while he killed others.

"He's right!" I managed, trying best to excuse my own behavior, "The people…" I couldn't even explain it. How were you supposed to express something as monstrous as ninety-eight years of guilt and despair through something as variable as words? Say one thing, and it was possible for someone to get the opposite message. I think though, that they understood me well enough.

"Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki come on. Let's go home. We can send Watari and Mr. Andou to his house," Tatsumi's hands rested on my shoulders. I was agitated, but I couldn't get angry at him. His over protectiveness was something to be thankful for.

"I want to do this." I gritted my teeth and straightened myself, the sudden grief attacking my senses. It hurt. Physically. My head was roaring and pounding, my eyes stung with the want to release tears, my chest was tight with longing. It felt as though someone had my heart in their hands, squeezing and making it harder to pump my dirty, demonic blood.

"You don't feel well," Tatsumi observed, "You should go home and rest," It was nearly a command.

"I wouldn't be able to sleep, Tatsumi," I countered, "I'd probably run off and get drunk. All alone," I maintained, "With no one to stop me from doing anything foolish."

He merely stared at me for a second, no emotion as far as I could tell. I knew he was thinking. "All right, Tsuzuki, we'll go," he sighed, "I'll keep an eye on you."

What did that mean? Was he going to protect me? No, no, he was probably going to ensure that I didn't get into trouble or do something stupid. Hmph. Much more likely.

"Okay," I said, sounding much more grumpy then I felt. I mean, I was older than Tatsumi! This whole situation should be the other way around! I was in charge of twelve Shikigami! I was the best Shinigami in Meifu! And Tatsumi … Tatsumi he'd…! Actually, he hadn't really done anything. Simply made sure I was okay.

"How ya doin', buddy?" Andou said happily, almost skipping down the road when we continued the journey. Skipping. Skipping on his way to see a certain Kazutaka Muraki. A certain serial killer and rapist.

"Fine." I said, smiling a little, "I've just been thinking on this day for a long time."

"What?" Hira laughed, "Muraki-sensei your long lost love or something?!" Watari hissed, and I heard Tatsumi speed up again so he could possibly restrain me from any reaction I might have.

"As if," I said coldly, "I could ever feel anything but hate for that damned murderer." I'm positive Watari would've preferred me to have kept that information to myself.

"Excuse me?" He said perkily, "Murderer?" He was completely unaffected by my uncharacteristic hostility. He didn't believe me, but he kept going, "How'd you lose track of him then? If he was so important to all you Shinigami?"

"Because!" I snitched grumpily. I saw Watari from the corner of my eye, tugging on Andou's sleeve in silent protest. I plunged on, "I tried to kill him… but I couldn't. He was… I'm…" How do I put it? Well, you see, I was insane, and wanted to die, and I was having trouble killing him first. Actually, I really did think I had killed him that night. I remember watching dizzily through Touda's black flame as he muttered something, with a look of true pain on his face, then falling over. I thought he was done, so I was ready to be done too.

Andou was nearly impassive. From what little expression he wore, I couldn't decipher it's meaning. I didn't know what he was thinking, and I didn't think I really cared at this point.

"Tsuzuki is not a murderer," Tatsumi announced from behind me, "Muraki was trying to kill him." Sort of true, I suppose. Andou's expression did not change however, and he came closer to me, "You've got purple eyes," he stated blankly, "Could you be his…?" I backed up jerkily. Why did he need to talk about my damned eyes? This guy was hitting all of the wrong spots, and throwing me into a strange behavior. He kept pushing me deeper into whatever demeanor I had took on, and it was frustrating. I didn't want to behave this way! Tatsumi stepped forward as I stepped back, wanting to get us moving again.

"Are you Tsuzuki Asato?"

Oh, perhaps someone had spoken of me, "Why would you know that?" I expressed, eyes squeezed shut.

"Muraki-sensei would never try to kill you," Andou said simply, "He loves you."

Rage seized my features and my eyes flew open, "I'll send you to Hell if you even let those words come to mind again!" I screamed. I approached him quickly, and Andou gave Watari a nervous glance, and backed away a little.

Just before raising my fist, Tatsumi yanked me in his direction and pulled me close to his body, "Tsuzuki!" he said sharply. He was not angry, but surprised, "Control yourself! I know you're nervous, but please! Mr. Andou does not know the Muraki we know!"

I don't know why Andou's ignorance wasn't annoying the others too. I suppose it could be, but they had more self control. I struggled against Tatsumi for a brief moment then turned and buried my face in his neck, unable to face Watari's love, "I'm so sorry," I said, "Let's go…" I was incapable at getting angry at myself at that second, but I knew I would be feeling awful later on.

"You couldn't understand right now," Tatsumi said to Andou, desperate to save me from any bad thoughts Andou might be subjecting me to. Right now, Andou was on Muraki's side, and I was completely unable to cooperate with him. I couldn't listen to Muraki being talked about in a favorable light. It made me confused, and it pushed me over the border line.

"For now," Tatsumi said, pressing me closer to him, "You must excuse this." I think he wanted to get moving, which I was currently incapable of doing.

"I'm sorry, Tsuzuki," Tatsumi said firmly, "We need to go," those words were soft but commanding, and I was happy to hear them. I liked being apologized to, but I quickly realized Tatsumi had nothing to apologize for. I shook my head, but did not force the blame upon myself. Now wasn't the time, "Of course," I beamed up at him, "Let's go." And I walked beside Tatsumi, behind Watari and Andou. Andou must've smartened up, for it seemed he had come to realize that talking to me directly was only causing problems.

"Ah, there it is," Andou said, smiling a little and pointing.

I wasn't seeing it at first. I found that the mansion was still off in the distance, and we weren't seeing anything but some of the roof, standing tall and dominant above the other, smaller houses. "It looks haunted," I achieved, studying what small bit I could see, "Like one of those ghost infested homes that you see on TV." No one had anything to say to that, but I was beginning to feel a little freaked out by the home's appearance.

"Alright," Tatsumi said, leading the rest of the way. I did not move in an attempt to keep myself close to him. I felt like turning around and shooting off into a sprinting escape. So I brought up the rear, buying myself more time to think. What would I say to Muraki? How was he going to react? Should I bring Tatsumi and Watari along? And what about Andou? I couldn't decipher right from wrong anymore. I had lost the ability a long time ago. So then, what was I to do?

Frustrated, I clenched my fists and slowed down a little. I was careful not to make it noticeable, I didn't want Tatsumi worrying, and I didn't need to cause and more drama. Before long, we were there, and I felt as though I hadn't near enough time to train myself for this moment. An entire year and I was still unable to survive the scenarios I expected.

Things between Muraki and I would never be uncomfortable or awkward. Muraki would never allow that to happen, but something would be different. We would feel different. Our hatred would no longer have as much meaning, for Muraki had been clean from killing for quite a long time. This fact was giving him a serious advantage.

Tatsumi stepped behind some bushy shrubbery (WTF? Bushy shrubbery?) and spoke, "I believe it would be best if Mr. Andou approached the house while we stayed here."

The amount of privacy Muraki's little estate had was disturbing. It was awful to think of what that man might do while unsupervised. What would he do, anyway? What kind of stuff did he eat? Did he ever watch TV? Did he sleep? Use the bathroom? So many natural occurrences that you just couldn't see him doing. He was almost to sophisticated to use a toilet. Or have a refrigerator. As if he would have a bag of potato chips or a box of cereal bars! It was outrageous!

It made me smile. I could not bare but chuckle a little as I thought of Muraki going about daily routines. Or envisioning him eating pizza flavored Doritos as he sat on his leather couch and watched an action movie. Maybe he listened to music? I was really having fun with this, and Tatsumi must've noticed for the look he was giving me was completely incredulous.

"Just nervous!" I chirped, smiling a little to reassure him I was really fine.

I heard Andou knock and my attention snapped back in the direction of the door. This was it.

Andou returned to us and shrugged, "Not there."

"He's going to kill someone!" I said, skipping to the most ridiculous theory that had come to mind. I turned and launched myself into the air, fully intent on catching Muraki in the midst of the crime

"Tsuzuki! Tsuzuki, no!" I think it was Tatsumi who called. I turned around instinctively to the call of my name, only to see what was going on. Tatsumi was zooming up after me, but I didn't move to evade him. "We can't do this right now!" He reproved, catching up with me quickly.

"I can't let him go free anymore!" I begged, "Not when I know he's here. I can find him if you let me try! Tatsumi… you said you'd help me get him. You promised." That last statement seemed to have a big affect on Tatsumi. He merely hovered there for a second, letting the guilt set in and get the better of him.

"Let's walk," He said, grasping my sleeve and slowly lowering the both of us. I silently obliged, and sighed heavily as we touched down again.

"He's probably at the central hospital," Andou said, "I think he has the night shift."

"Impossible," Tatsumi said, disbelieving, "It would interfere with his killing sprees!" So he was going to help me now! Bringing up his promise had worked! I'd have to thank him later.

"He doesn't kill people," Andou said defensively, "What is it you all have against him?"

"Tsuzuki," Watari said before anyone could reply to Andou, "I'm going to take Hira and explain Muraki to him. Would you mind if I talked about it, Tsuzuki? Kyoto?"

I looked at him, "Nope! Just tell it the way it is," I turned on my heel, "I'm going to that hospital now. I have my phone."

Tatsumi followed me, "We need to be back in Meifu by midnight, alright?" He said sternly.

I nodded, "Sure! That's plenty of time! Thank you for coming, Tatsumi!"

We walked in silence for a good while, and I realized Tatsumi had something on his mind. Not really a big deal considering our situation and all, but I would think that he would be rather calm at such a time. I decided to infer, just in case, "What is it?" I wanted to calm him down. It would make things safer if he had a clear head.

"Tsuzuki, what do you," he did not hesitate on his answer, "plan on doing if we find him in that hospital?"

Good point. What was I going to do? Why did I want to find him? Was I going to kill him? No. Maybe I wanted to, but I couldn't. Muraki was right when he said I was terrified of hurting other people, even if the person is someone I hated. ((Volume 9, my dears)). I couldn't kill him. I wasn't even sure that's what I really wanted to do. Really, it seemed I was just going to end up yelling at him and getting molested. Muraki, no matter what happened, would always be happy to see me. That was generally supposed to be something you were thankful for, but the serial killer tidbit made it much less flattering.

Why did he like me anyway? That Saki Shidou who he had wanted to resuscitate with my body was gone, so I no longer held any benefits for him. He didn't need inhuman power anymore. He had stopped killing. His whole purpose in life had vanished from my view. I suppose this was why he hadn't sought me out over the past year. I could only assume that he couldn't move anymore due to injuries, or he had turned a new leaf and begun life as a hardworking doctor again. Hell, maybe he'd lost his memory and forgot how good he was at killing, and how he enjoyed it. I almost think I would be disappointed if Muraki didn't remember me. Besides, if he lost his memory, I would fall in love with him much too easily. I remembered the time when we first met. How attracted to him upon first sight I had been. Just thinking about it made me blush, which made me mad, which reminded me of Muraki, which was frustrating, which reminded me of how Muraki liked to molest me, which made me blush. Sigh, no escaping it, I suppose.

"I don't know," I admitted sheepishly, "But don't you want to find him too?"

Unbeknownst to me, Tatsumi had other things he wanted right now. ((Amou: cough, cough WATARI)) "I do want to get him taken care of," he said, "But I'd feel better if we had more of a plan. Are we going to kill him?"

Well, gee, he was certainly blunt tonight, "No, I can't kill him."

Tatsumi paused for a second, as if he was confused, "I can."

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why would Tatsumi want to kill anyone? I know we joked around at the bureau and claimed Tatsumi was evil and whatnot, but I could never envision him killing someone! I saw him differently for a second. Let me tell you, I did not like what I saw.

"But why would we…?" How did I word that? I had stopped walking again, so I could face him and have a solid conversation.

"It's the only solution, Tsuzuki. The only reason we would go to him. He hasn't done anything wrong recently, so we don't need to present ourselves. We don't need to get involved with him again."

He was right. "But, Tatsumi! Doesn't it bother you that he's just out there living freely after all the crap he's done?"

"Tsuzuki, what can we do about it? Yell at him some more?"

He was right. I would never succeed in defeating him in an argument. It just wouldn't happen. He was always a few steps ahead. It was frustrating. At least I could easily have him figure these kinds of things out for me.

"I have to talk to him." That came out wrong. Even the way I had said it was completely misleading. The expression on Tatsumi's face told me so.

"I can't understand why you want to involve yourself with him, but I must insist to come with you anyhow. Muraki is dangerous," and with that, he continued past me.

No, no, no. He couldn't think that. He couldn't think that I loved Muraki! I didn't! It was such a traitorous thing. Muraki has killed Hisoka… caused everyone pain. I could never love him if it meant betraying Hisoka and the others. I was nearly insulted that Tatsumi would believe I loved that man. Did he have no faith in me at all?

"Tatsumi!" I pleaded, hurrying after him, "You know that's not what I meant!"

He turned to face me, a pained expression on his face, "Well," he said sadly, "Muraki certainly understands you better than any of us do."

.Muraki Kazutaka.

It is beyond my abilities to even begin explaining the amount of heartache I had begun to experience. After the events in Kyoto, my life took a fearful turn, and I was forced to recover for months. I was left with only one scar in the end, to constantly wound me as I came about it every day. It reminded me of the absence of my beloved.

The scar was twisted, purple, and ugly, thought not explicitly noticeable. The shape it took was unique, for my dear Mr. Tsuzuki had mercilessly twisted the knife after the cold steel had already served it's purpose and punctured through. Constantly, as I sat easting a late dinner in the staff room, constantly my hand wandered to the scar and massaged the old wound. It was all I had left of the Guardians of Death.

I didn't so much miss Mr. Tsuzuki as I did my life. Once I was healed, I put myself back to work in an attempt to live a different lifestyle. I couldn't kill, for I wouldn't fare at all well if the Shinigami were to come after me. I even had to cut ties with Oriya, who was still under the impression that I was dead.

I didn't know if there were any Shinigami still looking for me. I did not know if they had posted themselves at the Kokakuro, waiting with Oriya for my call. So I didn't call, simply because I didn't want my old friend in trouble. Though I don't think he's going to appreciate my reasoning. He'll just want to have known I was alive, regardless of his own well being. I wanted to call, but he wouldn't believe that. I must admit, I was rather lonely without the company of Oriya and the Guardians of Death. I missed having them dog me down, wanting my death and demise.

I missed the killing.

Even if the worry of being caught by the agents wasn't present, I still would have given up murder. I didn't need to kill people anymore. Now that the head of Saki had been vanquished in the Hell fires of that snake Touda, I had no reason for homicide. No more would I feel accomplished in killing. I would not feel as though I was inching towards a goal. Killing would be empty. Meaningless. I would not feel powerful, but dirty and lonely.

I sighed deeply and set my chopsticks down in the empty box that had contained my fired shrimp and rice. I needed to do something about this. For almost a year I had been living like this. Lonely and bored. It wasn't working, and somehow I was far more violent than before. My rage was much more easily provoked, and the homicidal urges I had were much more torrent. Somehow. The other day, I had nearly impaled my student.

Ah, Hira Andou. He was perhaps my favorite person nowadays. Though I can't help but think it was because he was the only person seeing me in a favorable light anymore. The only person who wasn't suspicious of my sudden change in behavior. Some of the people I worked with truly wondered what could have caused the Great, Impassive Dr. Kazutaka Muraki to have a change in behavior. A worse change at that.

"Oh, Doctor? We were needing you."

I turned and realized that I was in company of someone else. It was the nurse Reiko, looking ever nervous in the Great, Impassive Dr. Kazutaka Muraki's presence.

"What is it?" I said, standing up and discarding my meal in the waste can.

"Doctor Osaka was wanting you to help him with Mr. Kuchiki," Reiko said shyly, already trying to leave. I must admit I was rather agitated by her behavior. Offended, too.

"Ah," I said, delaying her escape, "The young man with the phobia of needles?" I didn't quite feel like helping Osaka. He was the most cautious around me. He was constantly turning all of the young nurses against me. The very same ones who had been crushing on me ever since my arrival many years ago. In fact, I could easily quit working and live quite comfortably with the money I had now, until the end of my days. I didn't have to put up with Osaka's aversion to me. But I couldn't quit. It wouldn't work. I needed a purpose in life. A goal.

Despite the level of confidence I had in myself, thoughts of entering Purgatory has occurred more then once. There were problems with this idea, however. Since I hadn't killed anyone for such a long time, my power had dissipated considerably. The only way for me to get into Purgatory would be death. But whatever death I subjected myself to, the result would not be a journey to Purgatory, but one to Hell. I knew I was going to Hell- that was easy to foresee- and I did not fear it, but I was in no hurry to get there, either. I was trying to avoid going to Hell as long as I could. Motivation enough to keep me alive for the time being. Besides, my human instincts of self-preservation were strong, and I still had the option of killing to see Mr. Tsuzuki again.

Several times I had considered gaining power in killing, and making a surprise entrance in Meifu. What was I supposed to do when I got there, though? No matter what I did, all I could think of was Mr. Tsuzuki. Was that a bad thing? No, not necessarily. But occasionally I felt symptoms of my obsession turning into… something else. Which was a weakness, was it not? To care about someone so much. I disliked weak people.

Except Mr. Tsuzuki.

"Yes sir. We need to give him and injection and he will not cooperate."

Why would they need me for something like that? Osaka was a big man, they could easily restrain Mr. Kuchiki without me.

"Doctor, Mr. Kuchiki was asking for you specifically. Doctor Osaka said it would be best if we just let you do it."

Before realizing how strange it was that Kuchiki wanted me, I let my anger flame some more. I did not care if the man wanted me. Why on earth would Nurse Reiko bother me during my dinner break for this rubbish? Frustrated, I pushed past her and moved to where I knew Mr. Kuchiki was. It was then, as I stormed down the congested hospital hallway that I questioned my summoning. Why would Kuchiki want me? I was never very kind to him. Nor was I sympathetic when I had to give him an injection. I was rather rough with him, quite frankly. Only because he was one of my most annoying patients. Perhaps he liked my appearance. Patients sometimes asked for me so they could get a good look at me. I didn't like it.

Another idea came to mind, but I instantly brushed it aside. It was completely ridiculous for me to be hoping so much for things top work out to my benefit. It was unbecoming and foolish. I had never had much luck in life, and now was certainly not the time for me to start having good fortune.

I drew back the curtain to Kuchiki's area and moved over to the man, looking at the clipboard set on the table next to him. "Might I ask why you asked for me?" I inquired, picking up the syringe on the metal tray beside me. I noticed the scalpel was wet with blood, but did not comment on it. ((I don't know why there was a scalpel with the syringe, okay? Just ignore it.))

"They told me to ask for you," the man said, eyeing the needle. He looked terrified, but I couldn't know if that was because of his phobia or something else.

"Oh?" I said, as if I had been educated of what he meant, "Who?" Maybe he would answer, maybe not. I could promise him an uncomfortable injection should he decide to be uncooperative.

I ran some scenarios through my head in an attempt to explain the bloody scalpel. Perhaps we had underestimated Kuchiki's fear and, in panic, he had seized the small knife and attacked Osaka or one of his assistants? I would normally expect to have heard more commotion had such a thing occurred, but I had to keep it open as a possibility. Such were my ways.

"They told me to ask for you," Kuchiki repeated, now looking at my face.

Well, well, well. Not going to cooperate? "Who?"

"They did." He said it to my face, not gesturing towards anyone or anything (Anything? WTF?). I sighed.

"Mr. Kuchiki, it would truly be a shame if I had to give you a painful injection because I was frustrated with you," I prepared the needle lackadaisically, ridding the syringe of extra fluid.

The man moved back jerkily in his bed, "Not fair." He stated, so concerned about the needle that he appeared to be talking to it.

"Leave him be, Muraki!"

My heart skipped a beat. No two beats. It had stopped completely. "Mr. Tsuzuki." I confirmed as I turned to face my love, "You came?" I was only trying to calm myself down now. I set down the syringe slowly, and shifted myself instinctively back to my confident, smirky, sophisticated self.

He hadn't changed at all. The expression he wore, however, was one that I had not yet seen. A mix between relief and hatred. I suppose I shouldn't flatter myself, but I'm convinced that he was happy to see me alive and in tact. I'm quite pleased with that, actually. I was happy to see him as well.

"Them!!" Mr. Kuchiki shrieked, "They told me to ask for you!" he wished desperately to spare himself from my earlier promise of a painful injection. Normally, I would have had to decapitate him for interrupting this moment, but I was too captivated by the purple eyed creature in front of me to care. He got lucky.

Something moved behind Tsuzuki and I shifted my attention to it, ready to annihilate any present threat. Ah, Seiichiro Tatsumi. Better leave him be.

"Mr. Tsuzuki," I said, not hiding my delight. This was it, my life was back, "You seem surprised to see me."

He nodded, "I thought you'd be in bad condition."

"Oh," I said, smirking. I moved towards him and an expression of shock flew across his face for a second. He probably didn't expect me to get right into business. I was picking up right where I left off, "Were you worried?"

"Don't flatter yourself!" he snapped, moving closer to Tatsumi.

"Already doing this?" Tatsumi said sharply, moving forward and blocking much of Tsuzuki from view, "It seems your doing absolutely fine, Muraki."

I nodded at him for a second, loathe of him. Damned shadow shifter. He was in the way! "Of course…" I said, smiling a little. Finally, finally my reunion with Tsuzuki and this stupid secretary felt he needed to get involved!

Tsuzuki sidestepped back into view, "You've been rather well behaved," he observed. Though there was a bit of sarcasm, probably referring to my threat to Mr. Kuchiki, whom I'd already forgotten.

"Why don't we continue elsewhere?" I said, as usual. This time I couldn't take him anywhere but outside, and Mr. Tatsumi would obviously be accompanying the both of us.

"Fine," Tatsumi answered, picking up the scalpel. He pulled a bloody handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the scalpel clean, "Mr. Kuchiki, I apologize for frightening you earlier." He set the blade down again and turned, leading us out of the hospital.

I was glad now that I was so obsessed with seeing Tsuzuki. I wouldn't have been able to keep myself composed otherwise. Every voice I heard I compared Tsuzuki's to. I couldn't rest until I saw him. My mind sought him out in everything I did, and I couldn't find anyone nearly as magnificent as him. I had to see him. Now that I had, it was not too much of a surprise, somehow. Besides, every time I saw one of the Shinigami I was pitched into one particular attitude. It was instinctive. None of the Shinigami had ever seen me act differently, except for the tiny nuance of confusion I exposed when Tsuzuki had stabbed me one year ago.

The shadow shifter led us to a bench, which confused me, because none of us would be sitting down. It was felt to be a vulnerable position.

"Sit down, Doctor," Tatsumi instructed.

Oh, I see. They were going to shove me into submission? Fine, whatever. I didn't need to hurt anyone or defend myself. I sat down and looked up at him expectantly. Honestly, I had nothing to say to him. I'm sure there were plenty of things I could say to Tsuzuki, but the presence of Mr. Tatsumi kept me distracted. I'm sure this was his purpose of being here with Tsuzuki.

Tatsumi did not say anything. He looked unsurely at Tsuzuki for a moment, sighed, then walked away. Of course he didn't go far, but he managed to get himself involved in looking at some of the flowers the nurses had planted in dedication to me. My stab wound and my burns were all treated at this hospital, and the nurses had drowned me in flowers. I told them to plant them outside, and they did. The very same day I had instructed them to get busy.

I grinned, "Did you want to see me?"

Tsuzuki blushed, and backed away a little, "I was just wondering what you were up to, since you'd stopped killing people."

I sighed and scooted over to the far side of the bench so he could sit down at any time, "I'm afraid I couldn't tell you, Mr. Tsuzuki. I have no motives at the moment. Nothing to do. I must say, I missed you very much. All of you Shinigami."

He gave me a strange look, and seemed a bit angry for a second, as if he was convinced I was trying to trick him, "Why?"

Oh, why did he need to torture me with such a question? I could barely answer, "I just missed my old life."

"Oh, the killing," he said, previous hopes destroyed. He was probably still convinced that I was completely turned around, ready to reconcile for my sins. Actually, if it ensured his trust and admiration, I would do anything to fix the murders I had committed. I voiced this, "Tsuzuki, I would be completely willing to fix what I have done in the past."

He looked at me strangely, and sighed. He actually sat down, too, but he had made sure to sit as far away from me as possible, "Have you heard of Mikosei, the God of Chance?"

I do believe I had. Mikosei was my first option in restoring Saki. I had pursued the God for a long while, and learned quite a lot. It taught me of the Shinigami, and the powers they had, which convinced me to get a hold of Tsuzuki. "I have," I said, looking at him, "What do you hope to get from him?"

I must have reminded him of something, for he looked at me quickly and changed the subject, "What did you tell Hira Andou about me!?"

At first I was extremely happy that he had asked me such a question. Instantly, I was convinced that he had been researching my location and my activity behind the scenes in the year we were apart, but I realized differently then, "The blonde scientist he's dating…" I said, thinking aloud. Hira liked to talk about his boyfriend, "Yutaka…" I only just now related this "Yutaka" to the one "Yutaka Watari" of the judgment bureau. It wasn't a connection I would usually make, even if I was obsessed with the Shinigami of Meifu. So Hira was dating one of Tsuzuki's closest friends, and I hadn't even known? Oh dear, my keenness was hurting terribly.

"I merely told him that I missed you dearly, and that you had-," he cut me off venomously, "Purple eyes!?"

I nodded, "Magnificent purple eyes," I corrected calmly.

"I hear you told him you loved me as well."

Well, um, yes. But it's unconfirmed, "Of course. I was experiencing tremendous heartache, Mr. Tsuzuki."

Heartache that was beyond my ability to even begin explaining.

-END CHAPTER THREE-

Tsuzuki: Why was I being so nasty in this? I was so OOC!!

Amagumo: I warned the readers about OOCness at the beginning of the fiction.

Hira: I'm still OOC.

Amagumo: Hira,you can't be… oh, nevermind.

Tatsumi: Watari hasn't been dumped.

Watari: Of course not! Who would dump me?

Muraki: I would.

Watari: Shut up, Dr. Death!!

Muraki: At least I finally got to speak.

Amagumo: Yes, be grateful. I could have easily paired Tatsumi with Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki: I would have liked that better.

Amagumo: Too bad. Muraki had to be paired with someone, and it couldn't be Tatsumi or Watari most definitely.

Watari: What about Hisoka?

Muraki: No.

Amagumo: Just no.

Watari: shrugs

Amagumo: This chapter took me a little while, didn't it? Sorry! I think it's longer than the other ones, though. Chapter four shouldn't take as long. It shall be Muraki's point of view!! Maybe even Watari's. If Watari's POV isn't in chapter four it will be in chapter five, so don't worry. Oh, and don't forget! Reviewers get cookies! If you've reviewed and haven't gotten a cookie, feel free to flame!

All: Please do. She deserves it, doesn't she?

Amagumo: sobs I'm so abused.