Wandering Aimlessly

.eight.

Okay, I've finally started writing regularly again. I promise, my little vacation is over! That's what it was, really.

Oh, and I actually read what I've written so far and it confused me so bad. I kept confusing myself with what I'd written and what I hadn't. How pathetic. Well, I've straightened it out, so things should be a little clearer for a while, at least. I really disappointed myself, actually. I can't wait for when I get to chapter ten and read the crap I'm writing now. Well, if you guys find it endurable…

DISCLAIMER

I don't own Descendants of Darkness/Yami no Matsuei. Darn.

EXCHANGE

Tatsumi: Gah! Finally!! So, who's point of view is it?
Watari: Ooh! Yay! It's mine!
Tatsumi: What!? But I'm the one who's been waiting for so long!
Amou: You've both been waiting for an equal amount of time. Actually, Watari's been waiting longer. And he waited quietly.

Tatsumi: Excuse me if I was anxious to see how the love of my life would reply to my confession!
Muraki: PFFT! Love of your life? Sounds so wrong coming from you.
Tsuzuki: Besides, Tatsumi, you're dead…

Tatsumi: Would all of you stop ganging up on me already!? This is one of the few fictions I get to actually be deeply involved in and I'm wondering if I even like it!

Watari: I love being in fictions! I get hunks for boyfriends!
Tsuzuki: I hate it. I loathe it.

Muraki: I like it. I'm paired with the love of my life. I get one because I'm actually living.

Tatsumi: -twitch- I quit.

Tsuzuki: Me too!
Watari: You guys!! Don't leave me alone with those two!! –stares in horror at Amou and Muraki- I quit, I quit!
Amou: -glances nervously at Muraki and giggles- So… how's it been with Tsuzuki?
Muraki: Oh my God. –rolls eyes- I quit.

Amou: What!?

.Watari Yutaka.

"You."

I felt my face take on an ugly, twisted expression as a cold, vice-like grip wrapped viciously around my heart. I held one hand to the wall of my chest and threw the other out in front of myself to keep him from getting any closer. I remained somewhat relaxed, though I was biting my lower lip hard enough to draw blood, "Tatsumi!" I said, looking over at him with dismay. He seemed equally distressed, puzzlement and the hurt of rejection swirling behind his eyes.

"Why!? Why didn't you say before!?" I saw his features brighten with hope and my heart sank further, "Why didn't you say before it was too late?!"

He stood up now, "What? Watari…?" He tried to step closer but I thrusted my hand out further to halt his proceedings, "It's too late now!! I have Hira, and-!" I stopped to swipe my hand across my face to halt the tears from sliding down my whitish face. I squeezed my eyes shut and hid my face in my hands in an attempt to dull the utter humiliation I was feeling.

How!? How could this happen? Why?! Tatsumi, whom I had lusted for in secret for so long… he actually felt the same? I could not do this. To choose between them right after I had just committed to locating a god to keep what I had with Hira. It just wasn't fair. If he had only said sooner this would be so easy! I had the very real urge to die a second time, and wipe myself clean out of existence. Of course, I had given it little thought if any at all, but right now it seemed like the easiest option, and the one that would quickest escape me from this stupid situation.

Again and again I was forced to halt his nearing me, as I tried to steady my breathing and staunch steady stream that now jumped from my stinging eyes. I needed to slow down, think things through, and sort things out. I finally shoved Tatsumi clean away and stood up, turning from him and pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to keep the tears in. I felt pathetic, and I hated it. Being pathetic wasn't attractive or appealing! Not to anyone, not in any circumstance!

Tatsumi was determined, and regardless of the hurt I must've just inflicted to him and the further dismissal of shoving away his offered consolation, he walked up slowly behind me and wrapped his arms about me. He laid his head gently on my shoulder, "Shh, hush. I'm sorry. Whatever it is, Watari, I'm so sorry," I barely heard the tiny susurrus, but it meant a lot to me. I was hurting, and I found that I even preferred him, the one who put me in this ridiculous condition, to Hira.

Which only frightened and upset me further, of course. I started to tremble, scared and confused as to what I should do. Having Tatsumi's confession… having him return my old feelings… it brought them back up. Tatsumi was open and wanting me, and I didn't have to just deny myself from him anymore! I could have him!

No. No. I couldn't have him. I had someone. I had Hira. And we were going to find Mikosei with our pure souls and wish ourselves a bright future together! We were! I chanted this over and over again in my mind, but ultimately this emotionless mantra failed and I turned around so I could bury myself into him. I did not know what to do. If I refused Tatsumi, I wouldn't work well anymore and I'd probably be thrusting myself into a deep, ridiculous depression of some sort. If I ended things with Hira I would feel lonely and I would never feel quite right with Tatsumi. And I couldn't cheat on Hira either, not only because it was wrong but because Tatsumi knew I had Hira too. Well, I could always find Mikosei and wish for a way for us to all be happy… no. No, this had to be decided right now. And who even said I could find Mikosei? I doubt I could.

"Tatsumi?" I thought I should move away from him, but I found that at this very moment… I really couldn't do that. That I really didn't want to.

"Hm?" He didn't move. I'm sure he was enjoying this.

"I don't know…" my nose was clogged now, and even as I smiled up at him through my ceasing tears, I still sounded ridiculous.

He smiled at me and patted my head, "What don't you know?"

My heart beat painfully hard and I buried my face into his chest for a brief moment, "I don't know."

He chuckled, "I can't really help you figure it out then."

I laughed a little and stepped back, much to his disdain. "Um… Tatsumi…"

"I know." He said. He was still smiling, albeit sadly, and I could see that he did know, "You can't, I know. I wanted to tell you anyway, Watari. I'm… I want you." He said this, but he managed to make it sound… not perverted. I think I know what he meant by it.

To my luck, I had a more rational reaction to these words this time. I blushed and blubbered for a reply. There was one that I was much wanting to say, but I couldn't. I had made my decision.

I was to be alone.

I mean, how was I to be with Hira when I ached so unbearably for someone else? And with Tatsumi… the guilt. There was no helping it. I was going to have to be good and follow the chief's rules and have no one. Hell, the rest of the Shinigami could do it. Terazuma and Wakaba were really the only Shinigami I'd met with anything of a romance, and theirs wouldn't interfere very much with their work, but perhaps make it better. Man, I didn't even get a partner to be with! Well… on field missions… Tatsumi was my partner… ah, no. I wasn't supposed to be raising my hopes, here.

"Thanks for understanding, then!" I trilled perkily, "So I guess I should go. I should probably help Tsuzuki get ready for wherever he's going!" I spun around and made for the exit, but I soon felt Tatsumi's arms around me again, "No!" He said, "No, Watari. Stay here for a while. I need you here."

I didn't doubt it, really. He'd probably tear himself apart in some way or another if I wasn't here to distract him. Besides, leaving now would just create a terribly awkward atmosphere for the next time I saw him. And really, I could stay. My company never allowed awkwardness, it's just when I left and thoughts of me and my motives on things could fester in people's minds… then things got a little weird.

"Okay, I can stay a while, but really I need to go help Tsu' later!" I panicked a little at the comfort in the cage of Tatsumi's arms and wriggled in an attempt to escape. He squeezed me one last time before release, and we sighed in unison, though for different reasons.

I myself was frustrated with the situation. I mean, first of all, that was pretty embarrassing. It wasn't very Watari-ish to explode with such sudden, rash, stupid emotion. At least Tatsumi didn't seem to care. Secondly, I wasn't really likin' the idea of ditching Hira and our expedition. Once he got a hold of me, I was gonna have to break free of him. Well, I mean, if I didn't break up with him… I'd have to bust my ass finding this damned God and then wish for an unwanted eternity with him. Not only that, but it would always be awkward for me when we were together, and I would have to lie compulsively and ceaselessly play a part that I really wasn't up to playing. Put short, it wouldn't work.

But man did I feel evil for dumping him. Maybe I could wait a while for a clear excuse to give him. One that wasn't really a lie.

Why not just tell him that I had found Tatsumi was attainable? Hira and I trusted each other, why couldn't I just tell him the truth? Sure, he'd be sad, but it was the way this problem was supposed to be fixed.

Hmm… I'd consider that. There may be hope for you yet, 'Tsumi!

We were in our seats again, having a fairly normal conversation about a weird book we found in Hisoka's room, when the phone rang. I really wanted to answer it, but Tatsumi moved faster than lightning.

"Tsuzuki?" God, someone needed to help him with that man. He should not be so obsessed.

I stood up and went over to Tatsumi, leaned in so I could hear the conversation, and contribute, if needed.

"Ah, no. Where's Tsuzuki? Is he there with you?" I giggled. No, no. I wasn't going to get involved in the obsession. I think Tsuzuki had plenty people helping him out. Tatsumi was like an obsessive mother, and Hisoka a slightly despondent father. Chief Konoe was Tsuzuki's good father, though he couldn't always be there for him. The Shikigami were his friends and cousins, and Wakkaba and Terazuma were his older siblings. Their friends, too, were protective of the little baby. The Count was… well, something. I didn't know how to classify him.

"Ah, he isn't," Tatsumi said, obviously let-down by the revelation that Tsuzuki was not calling for his help, "Is he not answering his phone?"

"He isn't. Did he talk to you last night?"

"About Muraki?"

"…Yeah."

"Well, we all went to see him, actually."

"You all got hurt?!" He sounded angry more than anything.

"What?" I entered the conversation, "None of us are hurt!"

Hisoka snorted, "Then why aren't any of you here at work? Tatsumi, you're apparently drunk!" He did sound a little disgusted, I must say.

Tatsumi sniffed indignantly, "It's not that bad. And it's only a hangover now."

Hisoka sniffed back, "No reason to miss work. Tsuzuki's come in with a hangover plenty of times. He does fine! …I guess. Well, you know! Fine for Tsuzuki!" He was probably kind of bored at the office, actually. With my fluorescent self being absent he probably had absolutely nothing but work to do!

Or, more correctly put, with Tsuzuki gone he had nothing but work to do…

"We'll explain later, Hisoka. I want the line open for Tsuzuki to call. Goodbye." I heard Hisoka going on angrily as Tatsumi pulled the phone away and ended the call, "I don't know why he didn't just come with us yesterday." I said, voicing both of our mild frustration.

He only nodded and jumped when the phone rang again. He eyed it angrily and I said, "Answer it. It might be Tsuzuki." And then I stood up and pulled some pots and pans out of a cabinet so I could make a nice breakfast to distract Tatsumi and save us from any awkwardness later.

Tatsumi sighed and eyed me warily before answering the phone, "Hello? Hisoka, is this you again?" He sounded so rude, I watched him and shook my head disapprovingly before turning and slamming my arm into the side of the refrigerator. I dropped every pan and every pot, and there was a deafening crash that was sure to positively enrage Tatsumi. Horrified, I turned to him, but he hadn't even seemed to notice. He clutched the table, veins swelling in his hands. His eyes were wide and his eyebrows fell into a deep, troubled 'V'.

"Excuse me? Muraki?" Rage. There was rage. "Me first. How do you have my number?"

Wait. Muraki. Muraki? Why would Muraki call here? Oh, maybe Tatsumi was being invited, too! That was good! Then we wouldn't have to worry about a thing! Tatsumi would kick Muraki's ass into next week with his shadows of doom if Muraki's eyes went so much as a centimeter lower than Tsuzuki's nose.

"Fine. What is it, then?" I didn't move. I only watched from where I stood amidst the unbroken Teflon pots and pans at my feet.

"How did you know he was here?" He looked over at me, troubled again.

Now I was a little freaked out. Was Muraki stalking me? I did not want to end up like Tsuzuki and Hisoka. I knew that man could totally shake me. I really wasn't very interested in him. Maybe I could make him uninterested in me…

Tatsumi's troubled expression warped into anger, "Will you talk to him?" he snarled.

I nodded slowly. I don't know what to say…

"Fine." He held the phone out to me and I carefully stepped over Tatsumi pots and pans. He stood up and gave me the phone, then bent over and huffily began recovering his things that I had dropped. I sat in his discarded chair.

"Hello? Muraki?" I waited anxiously, to hear his waxy, nasal voice slither through the receiver and cause me to shudder. His first line always gave me a cold chill, but I'd be used to him by then. I hated it. It was like being doused in frigid water in one second, without getting wet, and being warmed instantly afterward. It near made your bones ache.

"Good morning, Mr. Watari."

It didn't work. No frigid water. Maybe it didn't work through the phone. Enamored by my relief, I answered very happily, "Good morning!"

He paused for half a second and I felt him smile. I smiled, too. Come on, smiles are terribly contagious! Especially for me! Well, this was weird… "I was wondering if I could ask you a question?" he said.

I had felt Tatsumi pause to glare at me for a second, so I waved him off before answering. Tatsumi hissed something venomous and I said, "Certainly!" Tatsumi continued to gripe incoherently and I rose my voice a little, "What is it, Mr. Muraki?"

I felt his smile widen. You know, the little pauses in phone conversations where you can sense the other person's expression shift. Muraki certainly wasn't frowning, I could just tell, "I just wanted to know if you knew a good place for me to take Tsu- Mr. Tsuzuki tonight."

I had been watching Tatsumi, annoyed, and his clutch on a plastic ladle grew very tight because of how happily I spoke to Muraki. The plastic utensil snapped, "Tatsumi, stop!" I screeched, snatching it. He glared at me and picked up the last frying pan and placing it on the counter. He turned to me, hands on his hips, and stared. "Actually, Mr. Muraki, I'm not entirely sure. But he really likes good food. Wherever it is you do end up taking him though, it has to be cheap. He doesn't like anyone but Tatsumi to spend money on him." The expression the secretary sported at this second was priceless, "He would feel uncomfortable anywhere too formal since he hasn't got any really nice suits. Don't take him shopping to get one, either, he'll be offended. See, you might have given him a lot of money, Mr. Muraki, but Tsuzuki doesn't like to spend money on clothes." Sweets. That's really about it. Oh, and the library he needs to repair. "Uh, does that help you at all?"

"It did help. I had been planning to take him somewhere very formal. Is he picky about food?"

Tatsumi had begun to rant about my earlier comment (you know, about who Tsuzuki likes to have spend money on him) so I said, "Please shut up!" and kicked at him irritably, "Just its price," I said, slightly exasperated.

"One more thing," Muraki said, "Are you angry?" it sounded like he actually cared whether I was or not.

I think the way I responded to this question was very important. I needed to slow down and think about it for a second. I was distracted both by Tatsumi's frustration and Muraki's patient waiting, but I think this is something I had already figured out at another time of thinking. I answered, "I'm not exactly mad," this was true, ""If Tsuzuki agreed to go with you, then it should be fine. I just wish thee was someone else for him. No offense, Mr. Muraki, but I'm having trouble trusting you." I spoke slowly, worried about ruining any good that Muraki might have built up. I don't know when, but some time ago, Tatsumi had slithered away to another room. I think I heard him in his little computer room next door.

"No offense taken." He said simply.

Feeling the need to continue, I plunged on, "I suppose it doesn't matter if I trust you, anyway. As long as you are good to Tsuzuki and he is happy… with you… then, well, I'm going to let it be."

"I will be very good to him. I love him very much."

I heard a snort, and actually thought for a second that I had just involuntarily voiced my distrust, but then I heard Tatsumi speak, "Doubtful."

That little cretin! He'd wandered off to snatch another phone! I stood up and winced a little at the wretched squeak the wood made against the tile and I marched out of the kitchen, ""Tatsumi! Get off the phone! That was very rude! Off the phone! Off or I'll kick you out!" Oops, sorry Muraki. I guess I could've set the phone away from my mouth.

That delinquent! Did he realize that he was tearing down our progress!? Wait, I'm sure he did, actually. He probably wanted to! "IT'S MY HOUSE!" He screamed. He wasn't going to be convinced to join my side, was he.

Annoyed still, I went back to my and Muraki's conversation, "I'll try to get him to see things the way I do, Mr. Muraki."

"Muraki, please."

I was confused at first, but then I realized that he was asking me to call him plain 'Muraki'. I was more than uncomfortable with that. But I'd go for it.

"Now I would like to get things arranged. I may call you later, Mr. Watari-," I felt like it was necessary, so I said, "Watari, please."

He paused for half a moment, then, "I may call you later, Watari, to ask if you think my plans are appropriate."

Gah, really? When he called, it was likely that I wouldn't be at Tatsumi's anymore. I don't think I needed Muraki calling here, having a violent conversation with Tatsumi, and deciding he didn't want to be a good guy anymore. Muraki, I mean. We were much better off having Muraki as an uneasy ally instead of a terribly troublesome enemy.

"Do you have my number?" I asked grudgingly. I didn't really want to give it to him, but I also didn't want to ruin what we'd made. If I could stop that from happening, I would.

"I don't," he replied predictably. So I relayed that smidgen of personal information to him and got Tatsumi to turn a deeper shade of red. Boy, was I excited to talk to him after Muraki hung up! Just as I started to turn away from Tatsumi, his hand darted out and snatched the phone. I made no move to retrieve it, I only watched, slightly irritated.

"Muraki Kazutaka, if I receive a bad report from Tsuzuki then SO HELP ME, I'LL-!!" I quickly relieved Tatsumi of the phone then, realizing that, no, he couldn't be trusted with it. I wasn't feeling up to patching up the damage he could cause. I wanted this Muraki thing to work. Kinda. I always wanted to tear it apart, but this seemed to be the healthier option. "I'm sorry, Muraki. Good luck on your date!" And I hung up, unable to torture myself with my own false benevolence any longer. Now I was completely up and willing to render Tatsumi into the deepest, most serious undead sopor I could muster. Put simply, he was in trouble.

"Tatsumi Seiichirou!" I squawked, reeling on him abruptly. I really enjoyed his inappropriate surprise, with his glasses lightly askew and his hair still messy from his near sleepless night. "What're you trying to do!?" I continued determinedly.

He merely looked at me for a moment, then he remembered what I might be talking about and his animosity returned. It seemed he was unable to fathom why I would be so helpful to what he must still be considering a very troublesome adversary. "What?" he said calmly, "I don't think this is a good idea. Actually, I trusted you to agree with me."

I stretched one of my eyes open large so I could better observe him, "Tatsumi, we had this conversation in the kitchen. I think we should give this Muraki Tsuzuki thing a try. I mean, what if Muraki really is prepared to change? You know, with his half-brother's head gone and all."

Tatsumi had been shaking his head in disapproval during my entire idea, "And what of Tsuzuki? Do you honestly believe dating Muraki is what he wants? He's got some ulterior motive that we don't know about! He's not about to tell us either. As far as I'm concerned, his plan worked on you!"

I felt a little offended, as if Tatsumi were implying that I was merely too stupid to see Tsuzuki's plan coming at me, but then I remembered that Tsuzuki didn't have a plan. Ill-tempered, I began hissing my words through my teeth, "Look, Tatsumi, I don't think you're giving our strongest Shinigami any credit."

He eyed me as irritably as I had done to him before, "What are you talking about?!" To my utter exasperation, he actually seemed to be unacquainted of what I was talking about.

"Tatsumi!" I groaned, "Just stop, okay?! Just… keep yourself from getting involved in this!" Ooh. That was a little venomous, wasn't it?

Well, it wasn't like Tatsumi was going to be emotionally hurt by it or anything, "How can I not? This is my business as much as it is yours!" Ah, that was true enough. What to say to that…

"Let's just…," I paused, placing my hand on my forehead, eyes closed, "give this a try, Tatsumi. Let's wait for tonight's outcome and… we'll see, okay? Maybe this will work!"

Tatsumi sighed, "I hate it. Even if it is good for Tsuzuki, I hate it."

I shrugged, "So do I, but this isn't about us."

He looked at me abruptly with the instant realization that I was right and sighed again, shaking his head, "Well, regardless…" he made his way back to the kitchen, taking the phone he had gone to get back with him. He sat down and set the phone on the table, then looked at the pile of cooking things on the counter, "What were you doing?"

I chuckled, "I was going to make us breakfast."

First, he winced, knowing any type of recipes I had were not normal. I was happy eating some semblance of eggs for breakfast in the morning. Pancake tasting blobs were pretty good, too. I think Tatsumi should give my cooking a try, actually, but his expression spoke volumes of his aversion to such an idea. Annoyed, I sat down again and said, "So I guess we don't get breakfast."

He looked at me warily, "Cook for yourself, then," he said, slightly irritated, "I'm not hungry."

I'm not entirely sure, but the silence that ensued as I stood up and readied things to start cooking… it seemed to be an awkward one. I wasn't very good at figuring out what awkward silence were, but I felt as though I needed to shatter the silence and say something. I don't think this would have happened should Tatsumi be in a normal mood. Or maybe it was that confession he had made earlier. My stomach turned once. Was it going to be awkward between us from now on? Oh, man…

That completely sucked.

I couldn't really come up with any decent wording for it. I didn't think there was one. It simply sucked. It wasn't 'awful', and it certainly wasn't 'unbearable'. It just sucked. I didn't want it to be like that! Just a few minutes ago I had been completely, 100 confident that it wouldn't be like that!

Hey, hey. This was stupid. It might not be like that. This might not be an awkward silence.

I hissed and held my finger up for inspection. I watched the tight, pink, burned skin return to normal and sighed. I was thinking too hard. Now the eggs were way overcooked. Annoyed, I tipped the pan over the sink and watched the unpalatable slide off and slip down the sink.

Tatsumi, who had acquired a newspaper from somewhere, looked over at me, "Watari, don't waste the food."

I looked at him, "Oh, sorry. I overcooked it." I turned back to my cooking and then realized that it didn't particularly make sense for Tatsumi to be reading the newspaper. He was the undead, what did he care of the events happening to the living? "Why do you want to read the newspaper?" Actually, Meifu had a newspaper type dealie as well. Kinda like a daily update more than anything though. Yuma and Saya had come up with their own gossiping print once. I'd read it twice, and then stopped when I realized that they were pairing our office together with random people in the polls.

Terazuma and Tsuzuki was a big hit. Even Wakkaba thought so.

Tatsumi and Tsuzuki was the biggest idea of theirs. Everyone supported that.

Tatsumi and I had been paired together in one issue. .8 chance of being together. .6 chance of remaining together.

Needless to say, I was annoyed with the whole thing. Muraki wasn't in the entire paper, but that's who Tsuzuki had run off with. My best pairing was Tsuzuki. Hisoka was always paired with Yuma and Saya. They were very possessive of Hisoka.

Ah, I digress. Besides, what did Yuma and Saya's opinion on our relationships matter, anyway? Or the rest of the women's, for that matter?

"It's like research, Watari. There might be a serial killer or something out there. That directly affects us. Usually," He didn't sound too annoyed. He didn't even look at me as he spoke, however, and I feared he was still feeling a bit cantankerous.

"Hey," I said, trying to make this somewhat normal. Put simply, nothing about this had been normal yet. Tatsumi had acted all tender towards me, I'd cried, we had a stupid fight (or two), and I was cooking for myself in Tatsumi's apartment. Oh, and on top of that, Tatsumi was in a freakish, slightly-still-drunk-hangover and it was really making him act out of temperament. This was going to mar his etiquette when he had time next to think about it.

"Hey, I think we should go do something!" I flipped my finished egg onto a plate and turned to watch for a reaction.

He lowered the paper and looked up at me over his glasses, "Watari, where could we go? We're not on vacation." He turned back to the paper.

"We don't have to go somewhere that eats at our wallets," I reassure, turning off the stove and coming over with my breakfast, "It'll be good for us! We can go out and forget about all of this annoying stuff that's putting us on edge!" C'mon, Watari, be more excited then that! Make him actually want to come!

He still seemed skeptical, "Where can we possibly go?" he repeated, "Everything has a price these days."

"A park! The lake! Or we can go sight seeing somewhere!"

He glanced up again, "I think that by this point, we've seen everything there is to see…" Ah, he could be right about that.

"Tatsumi," I disapproved, "What are we going to do if we don't go out? Sit around all day!?"

He raised his eyebrows, still focused on his paper, "That's my idea of a vacation if we're going to be having one."

"What? Jeez, ruin the fun. What am I supposed to do? Watch you read the newspaper? No fun!" I couldn't give him any reasons to come with me and go somewhere. Because- there weren't any. I mean, other than me simply wanting him to come.

"You can read it when I'm done?" he suggested this, truly believing that it was a good idea.

"Tatsumi!" I whined obnoxiously, trying to think of something that might be fun. What did Tatsumi think was fun? Earning money? No, not even that. He probably more enjoyed the receiving of the money. Not working for it. But, hey, it was that way with everyone, wasn't it?

Well, there was one place I needed to go, and it wouldn't be a problem if he came. He would probably be grumpy, but it was the only thing I thought he might even consider doing, "Hey, Tatsumi! Why don't you come with me to help Tsuzuki?" I watched him lower the newspaper and raise it again.

"I'll probably be really 'annoying' and give lots of 'lectures'," he noted. Annoying and giving lots of lectures. That's what Tsuzuki and I had told him to stop doing on a daily basis. His reply was not so nice at the time, but we probably… nevermind. Point is, he was saying I would regret asking him to come.

He'd paused for a brief moment, then, before letting me agree with his statement and ditch the idea, he said, "I'm coming." I grinned a little. I mean, I wasn't the one who would have to listen to his version of 'The Talk'. It'd be a comical performance.

The phone rang, but Tatsumi wasn't as keen on answering as before. He merely raised an eyebrow at the phone, as if asking 'what?'. So I picked up, "Hello? Tatsumi residence." I added as an after note. I didn't want to be taken as an intruder or anything. Yeah, that would happen…

"Mr. Tatsumi, I think Watari's-"

At first, I was horrified to be hearing this voice at such a strange time. Then, I realized it was just Hira, and he wasn't going to kill me or anything.

"Hira? Is something wrong?"

He was silent on the other line.

"Watari? Well, I mean, I just-," he stopped to think, "Ano, why haven't you called yet? I was kinda 'spectin' you to." He sounded a little put out, but his Kansai accent, so much stronger than mine, was something that I apparently had been wanting to hear.

Stuck for an answer, I replied simply, "I'm sorry. I," time to make an excuse, "I just didn't want to, I guess. I felt like you were gone so I couldn't call you." Okay, that really wasn't an excuse. It's just that I had promised myself not to lie to him anymore. So that's what I was going to do. However, withholding information from him, which is technically what I had been guilty of doing before, was still allowed, because it simply made things good and bearable. If I told Hira that Tatsumi was after me, he would worry. I see Tatsumi every day, and I know him well (I think), so why wouldn't he be worried? It's just easier to stay silent on that one.

"I kinda felt the same way too, I guess," he sounded like a kid. Just a little bit, "Anyway," he went on, "Kazutaka called me and asked where he should take Mr. Tsuzuki, so I think they're going to Sora no Murasaki."

I was getting another call. I didn't particularly care.

"Um, what? I'm sorry, I got distracted," Damn. That sounded more uncouth than I had meant, "I was just getting another call," I added quickly.

"Oh, well… Kazutaka called and so I think maybe he's taking your frie-ass ketchup cubes." I really don't think this is what he said, but it's what I heard. I was getting another call. Again. I looked at Tatsumi, who returned the look when he felt my eyes on him, "You need caller ID," I said, grumpy. I wanted to know who was calling.

"What!?" Angry Hira, "Did you just not want to talk to me that much?!"

Oh, shit.

"No, Hira. No. I was getting another call again it's," I stopped talking. The freakin' bitch was calling again! "UGH!"

"Uh…" Hira was probably not getting as much out of this conversation as he'd intended, "I can call back…"

I listened to the incessant, persistent 'blip' that continuously sounded off like some sort of warning. Like the phone was going to explode or something, "No, just wait," I said, as they rang the house for a fourth time, "I'll just answer it. I'll be right back." So I switched to the other line.

"Who is this!?" I squawked, "The line is busy! What's so important that you have to call ten million times!?"

So turns out it was Muraki, and he wanted to talk some more about his date. I guess it was nice that he was worrying over it so much, but I really didn't like the idea now that Tatsumi had reminded me how, um, sadistic Muraki was. So I asked him to be a good boy and, of course, he said he would. I mean, if he said no we wouldn't exactly let Tsuzuki skip off to go see him, would we? No, we wouldn't. Tatsumi, who'd heard that I was yet again speaking to Muraki, had picked up his phone to listen, but had stayed respectfully silent. And eventually Muraki was talking to Tatsumi alone, and I couldn't help but smile widely at their conversation. There was a strained atmosphere between them, but some things were said and they loosened up and perhaps cooled off some of that hatred of theirs.

Then I was left back to Hira and our uncomfortable situation, "Ah, sorry. It was Muraki. He's very nervous."

"Yeah!" Hira said, able to talk about something he was familiar with, "I hope it goes well!"

"Us too," I said, nodding.

"Oh, yeah. Why are you at Mr. Tatsumi's?" He didn't sound upset about it, to my relief.

"I was feeling kind of… down in the dumps. Didn't feel so much like sitting around home alone, you know? And Tsuzuki's busy today so I had to come hang with this grump," Tatsumi glared at me. He knew who I was talking about.

Hira laughed, and my whole body tingled. I did miss him. Maybe all of those reactions I'd had to Tatsumi earlier was just my longing for just someone. Does that make sense? I just needed someone, and Tatsumi was there, so…

Oh, damn. Was I going to be confused about feelings? That could get really annoying. I was supposed to know how I felt!

So the conversation went and Muraki called again. He asked me to dress Tsuzuki casually, which I could do, with a struggle. And finally Tsuzuki called and asked me to come over. Tatsumi was invited, too, and we were there in seconds.

"Hey, Tsu!" I said, perkily. I was in my normal garb, and I'd forced Tatsumi into one of his suits, so not to alarm Tsuzuki, "Nervous?"

He smiled, "Yeah." And he led us into his much improved apartment. You know, Muraki's donation had really helped the place a-

"THE HELL!?" Tatsumi stomped through the rooms, "HOW'D YOU AFFORD THIS!?"

Oooh… we didn't tell Tatsumi…

Tsuzuki cowered, "What d'you mean, Tatsumi? It's nothing special…" He tried to chuckle. The noise he did make was strangled by fear, and he literally turned and ran, as if this strange sound told Tatsumi about the large amount he'd received from Muraki. He was a dead boy.

"He won the lottery?" I said from behind him. I didn't know what excuse there could be. No matter where Tsuzuki had gotten the money, he should have been paying his debts off with it. You know, I think that's probably why Muraki gave him the money… the amounts were exactly the same. Hmmm… but how could Muraki know that? Well, he knew a lot of things, really. It made sense. I don't think he was meaning to treat his beloved purple-eyes to a thrice daily Cinnapon splurge.

"No." Tatsumi said simply, stomping after the ailing, purple-eyed shinigami.

I chose not to follow. This wasn't the argument I was anticipating to listen to. This was routine castigation on Tatsumi's part. Nothing special.

So I went to shoving my blonde head in the refrigerator and eyeing the very appealing array of comfort foods. Truthfully, I had a headache from trying vainly to hold back those tears earlier, and the best cure for that was always spumoni ice cream with an addend of sugar and chocolate syrup on top. Of course Tsuzuki owned generous supplies of this.

So I sat back for a while, and after Tatsumi had learned about the ridiculous display of philanthropy on Muraki's part, and learned Tsuzuki's fairly obvious reasons for using the money on things other than paying back his debts, we ended up sitting in the sitting room, in very nice leather furniture. I clutched the freezing carton of ice cream in my hands, spooning it gleefully into my mouth, and periodically adding more sugar and syrup. Tsuzuki sat beside me, clutching his knees and staring at Tatsumi with wide, purple, intimidated eyes. Tatsumi sat away from us, of course, on one of the separate pieces of furniture. He regarded my disgusting comforting habit coldly, then turned to Tsuzuki.

"I don't know what you're expecting," he began, "but I did not come to ask you why you want to go. I have my theories, and I am content (for the most part) with them. I don't feel like having my perfect excuses crushed by your freakish desire."

In the corner of my eye, I saw Tsuzuki wince unpleasantly.

"I want to tell you something," Tatsumi said, straightening up where he sat.

"Okay," Tsuzuki said, nothing that he was ready for the message. He'd known it was coming. If not today, another day.

"I care about you."

"…Okay."

"I don't like this arrangement."

"…Okay."

"And," he paused, and sighed. I stopped my vulgar actions to drown my headache out with brain freeze and watched Tatsumi carefully. No pained expression, but he wasn't completely in terms with himself for whatever it was he was about to say.

"And I won't do anything to stop it, I won't say anything to make you change your mind, I won't criticize you or make you feel bad for your decision, and I won't stretch this topic out any longer. I will stand back and let you act alone." He closed to enunciate more his finality.

"But-," Tsuzuki looked at him, "You don't-." Tatsumi opened his eyes again and shook his head.

"If you need help, I'll give it, but I'm not going to stomp on a potentially good thing. Everything has it's risks."

Hm. Interesting. It hadn't been some embarrassing relationship talk, but it had been entertaining nonetheless. I wasn't so shocked by Tatsumi's words, it was when he carried out this oath that I would see something peculiar in his decision.

"Okay…" Tsuzuki glanced at me, mildly confused, "Thank you…" I wonder if he was thankful or not. Honestly, I couldn't tell.

"Aw, that was nice of you, Tatsumi!" I said, encouraging the bespectacled secretary to follow through with his idea. I think we should sit back and watch the show before we decided to complain about it. We really couldn't know how this might turn out.

"Okay, let's go get you dressed!" I said, springing up and simply letting the emptied ice cream carton roll off onto the carpet. Tatsumi made an annoyed noise, but Tsuzuki, who should be the one concerned, did not notice anything wrong in doing such a thing. Where was all of his garbage anyway? The place was spotless save some DVDs he had strewn out in front of his television. The wires to his new appliances weren't 100 well organized, either.

So we did that, Tatsumi quietly appraising our ideas from the doorway to Tsuzuki's bedroom, sometimes even making a remark on how stupid something looked or how some of the shirts were too form-fitting and ostentatious. Then, after we'd finally picked out a good suit that Tsuzuki had never worn (it was from the Count, you see), we received a phone call from Muraki requesting Tsuzuki wear something casual, so we had to start all over again. We finally came up with something bearable for him, though Tatsumi was not satisfied at all. But it wasn't his choice, was it? And he wasn't supposed to be interfering anymore, either.

"Okay, you're ready!" I said, brushing off his shoulders and turning him around, "Have fun!" And I shoved him out and closed the door in his bewildered face. Tatsumi sighed from behind me and I smiled at him, "He grew up so fast," I said, swiping at a nonexistent tear under my eye.

He snorted and wandered back to the middle of the apartment where he stood inert, arms crossed over his chest, "I don't think we need to stay here. Maybe I should go do some work…"

If he went to work, I would inevitably end up there with him, and I was ardent to the idea of keeping myself out of work and hanging around eating spumoni ice cream and doing nothing, "No, let's go out now, Tatsumi! Or maybe we can go spy on their date!" Wow, I was already being a negative influence against his vow to butt-out.

"No." He said bluntly, remaining static and dull, "I have work to do…" And he turned back to the door, walked past me, and left. I stood alone for a short moment before I followed sullenly. No personal day for me. It would not be a good image to show up together in front of the chief, especially since the he was still under the impression that Tatsumi was so terribly drunk and I was simply missing. Or maybe Hisoka had left him the wiser on out condition. Though I doubt it. He didn't really know what we were doing either. I didn't even know!

Well, Tsuzuki… we'd have to come up with something for his absence. No idea what it could be. I didn't really want to stroll in and say he was missing. That would cause some sort of ridiculous, unnecessary uproar.

So we arrived at work and told the chief strange stories of yakuza gunmen and large trollish lumbermen and the sort, sat down, whispered to Hisoka the truth that Tsuzuki was off having a dreamy time with a dreamy rapist and Chief Konoe learned the truth through the teenagers squawking rebuttal and disapproval. "Can I trust you two at all!?" He said in a very Tatsumi-ish way.

So we explained, bowing and begging (this was mostly me, I guess) that Tsuzuki needed to learn things from Muraki and he could get Muraki to stop being a dreamy serial killer/rapist and morph him into a dreamy doctor, and they agreed to sit down, shut up, and deal with this situation in their heads.

Eventually, we were granted permission to go home, though I had been home, at my apartment, for the majority of the day, and I didn't really feel like going back now. Having company all day was nice, and Tsuzuki, Tatsumi, and I had spent time together like we hadn't for a long time. Ever since Hisoka'd arrived… Well, I wasn't blaming it on anyone. We just hadn't been able to get together. No time to even think about it.

Tatsumi, bless him, either noticed my reluctance or decided he didn't want to be alone either, so he ended up following me to my apartment. Neither of us said anything, I didn't ask him why he was following me, and he didn't ask if he could come back with me, but we just kinda felt… attached to each other's sides for the time being. I… couldn't possibly guess why that might be.

This wasn't good. I mean, I was totally falling for him.

Best to go in alone. It was getting late. I'd just have to tell him that I was ready to turn in. He could come in for a few minutes while I got dressed for bed, but then, it was out with him. I had some things to brood over anyway.

The walk went silent, and awkward. He wasn't one to have nice little walks with no words, where there was mutual trust and understanding between the two. But I think that's what this was to him, because he didn't seem uncomfortable in the slightest. Which was only a little frustrating for me. I was supposed to be the collected one in this situation! Whatever. It hardly mattered. We'd be there in seconds.

We turned the corner and I let out a large, false yawn, "Oh, man, Tatsumi. I'm bushed! I think I'm gonna go to bed, okay?" I placed my hand on the doorknob and turned once to see his reaction and bid him… "G'night! See you tomor-"

He took my face in his hands, and pulled my lips to his. It was a fleeting kiss, much shorter than I would've preferred. He pulled back a little to search my eyes for something, before pressing his lips to mine again. This time our two mouths parted with a tiny, wet, kissing sound as he drew back and I blushed. "Tatsumi…" He searched my eyes again for a reaction, but I knew he wouldn't be able to figure out what I was thinking, because… I didn't even know what I was thinking.

I do think, however, that the pink blush on my cheeks told him something.

"Good night," he said softly. He turned to leave, and was met with a blast of light to his face. A car, a very fancy one, might I add, was speeding at the apartment complex. I watched it for a minute, questioning the urgency of the person behind the wheel, and watched as the driver's side door flew open and Dr. Muraki Kazutaka stepped out and hurried to the passenger's side to make sure Tsuzuki was getting out and walking fine.

I walked slowly towards them after Tatsumi, thinking at first that Tsuzuki had somehow managed to get hurt. Actually, there was a dark stain on his sweater, but the colour of the turtleneck was so dark I couldn't discern what it could be. As Tatsumi and I neared Tsuzuki and Muraki, I realized that our purple-eyed colleague had been stabbed. There was a hole in the fabric of his shirt.

I wasn't worried. He looked fine. He was healed. I went to Tsuzuki, and Tatsumi confronted Muraki. Perhaps not the best idea, but this would be sort out, whatever it was.

"Hey, Tsu? You okay?" He followed my gaze to his stomach and slapped a hand over the healed skin, "Yeah… that was nothing." He said dully.

"Was it okay?" I asked quietly. Muraki was less than a foot away, having a very low conversation with Tatsumi.

Tsuzuki shrugged, and his expression noted that it was fine, but he shook his head after that, "You'll see…" he said, turning to enter Tatsumi and Muraki's conversation. The two turned to us, Tatsumi not angered, but surprised. He looked down at the hole in Tsuzuki's shirt and then back at Muraki, who sighed.

So Muraki wasn't the one who'd driven the weapon in. Tsuzuki must've done it. Unless there was someone else… who, though? Honestly, they'd gone to homely, cozy, family restaurant!

"Well, you can come on in!" I said, turning and hurrying into the building, feeling like I was required to say something since we were at my apartment building.

"Tsuzuki, take a shower," Tatsumi instructed, as though we'd just entered his turf. I wasn't annoyed. It was a good idea. Now we could talk to Muraki alone. Tsuzuki only nodded and walked off sullenly. I think he knew we were sending him off.

Muraki smiled at him, just a tiny bit, before the purple-eyed shinigami traipsed over to the door, gave us an annoyed look, and left the room. That smile was an actual smile. No malicious, dirty intent behind it. How confusing…

Muraki sat down at the table, and I followed. Tatsumi stood and leaned on the counter, eyeing Muraki grumpily, "Why was he wounded?"

I had not even a single guess to answer this. All I could do was watch Muraki and wait for the cold man's reply, "He stabbed himself."

My breath caught once. Was he back to that stage? Had this relationship thing already failed? They were back strangely early, and Tsuzuki had stabbed himself… no win, it seemed.

"Why?" Tatsumi said, unphased, "What did you do to him."

Muraki cleared his throat and closed his eyes, "I kissed him," he said with dignity.

Tatsumi cleared his throat as well. This wasn't really something he wanted to talk to Muraki about.

Muraki continued before Tatsumi could call the fault, "But I don't think that's why he hurt himself," His eyes were open again so he could study our opinions, "I'd already kissed him before then and it hadn't had such an effect at all. I mean…" he watched us carefully, "He seemed to enjoy it."

I tried to picture the scene in my mind but I quickly shook it away. I would never understand the relationship those two had. Best to play it safe and not even try to understand it.

Muraki was frowning now, even though, to me, the conversation had taken a positive light. "In the car he began calling me things he'd never called me before. He called me Mr. Muraki and there was something else but I can't remember now."

We took this is, but had no reply.

"I think he's trying to go to that place where he died."

Tatsumi was confused and so was I. Where did Tsuzuki die? Muraki's grandfather's house?

"That place in his mind where he spent eight years."

Tatsumi nodded and I made a little, "oh". I didn't want Tsuzuki to go back there. It would be an unpleasant experience to say the least, and King Enma had no point in keeping a broken Shinigami around. He'd get rid of him.

"You had to have seen it," Muraki said, shaking his head, "It wasn't like him."

Tatsumi twitched, probably itching to say something rude, and how it was all Muraki's fault, but he was trying hard to keep to his earlier promise. I spoke for myself, "He doesn't seem so upset. You weren't mean to him or anything. I just don't want…" Tatsumi walked up and stood directly behind where I sat. I wanted to twist around and look at him, but I needed to focus and get my message across, "I don't want this to continue if Tsuzuki's going to be stabbing himself."

"No."

This wasn't Muraki, and al three of us shifted our attention to the purple-eyed Shinigami standing at the bathroom door. He hadn't showered… he must've been waiting to listen to us talk about him.

We watched as he swallowed and walked slowly towards us, "Muraki… he didn't do anything, I was just being…" He swallowed again, seeing Muraki's pleased expression, "I want to try again, but I'll pay more attention."

Tatsumi looked at Tsuzuki with hard, critical eyes, "Tsuzuki. Why did you hurt yourself?"

Tsuzuki took a deep breath.

"Because I like Muraki."

-END CHAPTER EIGHT-

Another pointless one. We're getting close to the chapters that will all have a point, but I need to build up some circumstanced until that comes. I hope you guys can be patient a little longer. Next chapter is going to be two different POVs, I think. The next chapter has a certain plan, but I think I'm going to smash it's plan with chappie 10, 11, and a tiny part of 12. It'll get things moving along. I apologize for anyone who's disappointed.

QUESTION TO THE READERS

None. I just want to see if anyone's still with me.

Please give your input through a review!

EXCHANGE

All, Except Amou: …

Amagumo: Oh, come on! Someone talk! C'mon Muraki –pokes-

Muraki: -glares dangerously-

Hira: I'll hang out with you.

Tatsumi: -restrains himself from attacking-

Watari: -restrains Tatsumi from attacking-

Amou: Sure! See? Why doesn't anyone like the nice guy?
Hira: -still uneasy- Yeah? I mean, I haven't even earned a reputation yet! Give a guy a chance!

Amagumo: Ah… this is boring.

Hira: Well sorry if I'm too boring for you!! I quit too!! -sits down next to Watari to watch-

Amagumo: No way! NO WAY!! I hate you guys!!