Chapter 4

I have no interest in Grey's Anatomy and my use of the characters is done without consent. No copyright infringement intended.

Her first three weeks of internship went by pretty fast. She had a core group of interns with whom she was developing fast friendships and Meredith, the intern with whom she was closest turned out to be not just any old intern but someone who had a very long and personal connection to the hospital. She respected Meredith for the simple fact that she did not flaunt her inside connection, but was willing to work extremely hard for everything she got. Meredith's prediction on the day they first met was correct. They had become good friends.

During those three weeks she hardly had any contact with Dr. Burke. On several occasions she sat in the gallery and observed him working. He was to say the least, brilliant. Many times in the middle of surgery, he would pause and look toward the gallery as if he was looking for someone. Almost always their eyes would meet and he would stare at her as if he was seeing through to her soul. Then came the day of Seattle's infamous underground bike race, The dead baby Bike Race. An unidentified patient who had fallen victim to the race was admitted to the hospital. She worked along with Meredith and Izzie, another intern with whom she had gotten close, but who exhibit an unnatural attachment to her patients, to find the John Doe's family. While Izzie wanted to find the family because she felt the John Doe may have a miraculous recovery, Cristina's motivation was the polar opposite. She hoped to find the family so that they could consent to donating his organs.

Although all of them, worked together to help the patient. All three had different objectives, but combined, they made a cohesive team. Meredith was the voice of reason, Cristina wanted the cool harvest surgery and Izzie was looking for a miracle. In the process they gave a blood transfusion to the brain dead patient. To counteract that, they needed to repair the patient's heart, and so they went searching for Dr. Burke. Cristina and Meredith found him in the men's washroom. Showing no tact or respect for his privacy, they proceeded to tell him what they had done. Although Meredith was there, when he spoke, he addressed Cristina. "You gave a brain dead John Doe a blood transfusion and now you expect me to repair his heart." He couldn't believe what they did. He turned to her directly and asked "You do enjoying crossing the line don't you?" Meredith would never know, but Cristina believed that his reference to crossing the line was directly related to her drinking the night of the mixer. His words caught her off guard and she retreated backwards. The look in eyes however, was one of amusement and admiration. Never in his career had anyone accosted him in the mens, and only a bunch of inexperienced, surgery hungry interns could pull it off.

Her inexperience as a doctor and her very poor bedside manner was never more evident than on that day. The family of the victim of the Dead Baby Bike Race, now identified as Kevin Davidson, was located. It was left up to Cristina to explain the organ donation process to his wife and to get her to sign the forms. Needless to say she failed. She was to the point, factual, but showed absolutely no empathy toward the patient's family. It was not just painful for the family but also for Dr. Bailey who was observing. In the end Cristina walked out of the room, unable to complete the task. Dr. Bailey's teaching ability saved the day and Cristina returned, this time armed with a better understanding of medicine 101. That day marked a turning point in her career. It was the beginning of the long process of changing her mind set from the academic super star to a well-rounded doctor.

That day was also a turning point in her relationship with Dr. Burke, For the first time since the night of the mixer, she spent a significant amount of time with him. She was there in the beginning when he and Dr. Shepherd first examined the patient, and was there again for the harvest surgery. He was professional and hardly paid any unwarranted attention to her. She in turn was just satisfied to finally be scrubbing in on a surgery, regardless of the fact that the patient was already dead.

Later on that night she accompanied Meredith and George to Joe's bar. They were sitting down having a drink when George brought up the Dead Baby Bike Race victim. "So Cristina I heard that you had a difficult time with the dead guy's family, maybe you could get Dr. Bailey to give you a lesson in appropriate bedside manner."

Cristina not wanting to discuss the matter glared at George. "Shut up Bambi."

George persisted. "No, seriously, even I could give you a lesson if you want."

They were both going at it not realizing that Meredith had suddenly gone quiet. She cleared her throat trying to get their attention but no one noticed her.

Cristina yelled at George. "George if you don't shut up, yours will be the next set of organs Burke will harvest."

Meredith cleared her throat again but they both ignored her.

"And what organs will you want from me Cristina? My skin, like you wanted from the dead guy." George was laughing, remembering Cristina's conversation with Kevin's wife.

Cristina gave him a dead stare and without even a smile on her face she said. "No George, your balls, that's what I'd like to harvest, your balls."

George physically recoiled, choking on the peanuts he was eating and attempted to answer. "My balls are not organs and . . . "

"Hello interns"

Cristina and George turned around swiftly, Meredith didn't move. She had already seen Dr. Burke standing directly behind them and had tried unsuccessfully to get their attention.

George spoke up quickly. "Oh hi Dr. Burke. How long have you been standing there?"

Burke looked from George to Cristina who was now staring at her drink. "Long enough"

Then he addressed Cristina directly. "Dr. Yang, may I have word with you in private?"

George and Meredith both conveniently wanted to use the washroom and Burke sat in the seat that George vacated.

He looked at Cristina, a smile barely creasing the corners of his mouth. "So, Dr. Yang, I see you're back at the scene of the crime."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Burke continued. "If I remember correctly, this was where you were three weeks ago when I found you in the parking lot, drunk."

Cristina shifted on the bar stool and looked him directly in his eyes. For a moment she just stared, he does have beautiful eyes. She found herself thinking. Then she said to him "If any crime was committed that night it was by you."

Burke smiled speaking in a very low voice so as not to be heard by anyone else but her.

"And what crime could I have possibly committed?"

Cristina smirked. " I don't know, you could've touched me in places that I don't want to be touched. Or you could have taken pictures of me. You hear that in the news a lot."

Burke got up. Dr. Yang, rest assured, I never touched you. At least not in the way you mean, and do you really believe that I need a camera to remember what you looked like naked?"

He said the words and immediately regretted it. She had an uncanny way of getting him to do and say things that he normally wouldn't. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

She looked at him and smiled, satisfied that she got under his skin, showing him up as not being different from any other man. Ultimately, unable to resist looking at a naked woman. "Why shouldn't you have said it? . You meant it." "Are you always this brash Dr. Yang? For someone so small you are unnecessarily vicious."

"Another man hung- up on size." She murmured. "I can assure you Dr. Burke that regardless of my size I am going to be an excellent surgeon someday. My size doesn't hinder me. Now if you have any size deficiency that you're unable to overcome, that's your problem."

Burke opened his mouth but the words didn't come. He was speechless. He couldn't believe what just came out of her mouth. First she wanted to castrate O'malley, or as she said, harvest his balls. Now she insinuates that he has a size deficiency. He had never been shocked by anything that anyone says, until now. She has the personality of a Pit Bull. He got up turns to her and said. "I have to leave now Dr. Yang, but before I go, a word of advice."

"What's that?"

"Try to wake up in your own bed tomorrow morning." He lowered his voice, "Don't vomit on anyone . . . and the part of O'malley's anatomy you want to harvest, It's not transplantable."

With that he left her, staring at her drink, speechless.

Meredith and George returned soon after and both wanted to know what Burke wanted.

"He just wanted to talk to me about Kevin Davidson." She lied.

She went home that night exhausted. Her apartment offers no comfort. She felt lonely. She was used to living on her own and yet she couldn't get over the sense of loneliness since she moved to Seattle. She missed having someone to talk to. At least in college she had room mates. She phoned her mother in California and was relieved when no one was home. Her mother would have known immediately that she was unhappy. She picked up a book and tried to read it but couldn't concentrate. She showered and went to her drawers to get a clean pair of pajamas and saw his shirt. Seeing the shirt brought back memories of the incident earlier in the evening at Joe' bar. She couldn't understand what possessed her to speak to him the way she did. She never planned to. In fact, over the weeks she had come to realize how lucky she was that he saw her that night. That he took her home. She knew in her heart that he saved her from a lot of embarrassment or possibly worse. She truly wanted to thank him, but, everytime she tried to, she got cold feet. There was something about him that caused her to say and do the craziest things. He was good to her, made her breakfast. Cleaned her up and put her to bed. He had been nothing but a gentleman toward her, but something was happening to her that she couldn't control. It was new and scary and although she didn't recognize it, she knew that she had to protect herself from it. But how could she protect herself if she didn't know what she needed to protect herself from? All she knows is that whenever she was around him, he made her nervous. She can't think straight whenever he is near, and yet she cannot go a day without getting a glimpse of him, hearing his voice, or watching him work. He fascinates her. From the moment she woke up in his bed, he was no longer just the arrogant surgeon. She had seen a side of him that very few people have. There were a kindness and a gentleness about him. A side that most people at the hospital would be surprised to know even exists. Why then, was she so determined to dislike him? Determined for him to dislike her. In the OR she can be civil to him, there were too many people around for her to go off on a tangent. The OR then, would be her salvation. She would be safe there amongst the blood and the shiny surgical instruments. Safe . . . But from what?

Any woman in her right mind would give anything to have had the glimpse in his life that she had. To wake up in his bed and to have him make her breakfast. She was extremely lucky and didn't even know it. She put her pajamas on, grabbed his shirt, put it under her pillow and went to sleep.