"Dave, you have a minute?"
"I was expecting you to come, Aaron." Rossi handed him a coffee mug that suspiciously smelled like something else.
"Not for me, I had more than enough of that, yesterday." Hotch refused and sat down on one of Dave's leather chairs. Rossi looked at Hotch expectantly, but it took a while until Hotch said something.
"It doesn´t make any sense. I don´t understand, why she left."
"Callie?"
Hotch nodded. "I wasn´t home, last night. I was at that bar, I felt like...I wasn´t looking for someone. Well, maybe I was, Dave. Jack stayed with Jess, it was way too late to pick him up, anyway. That´s when I met her. She was singing and the way she did it...We talked a little and..."
Hotch paused and Rossi tried to figure out, what Hotch was trying to say. He sounded confused, Rossi knew, how hard it was for Hotch to talk about his feelings. Dave listened carefully.
"And I've never done anything like this, Dave. But there's something between us, it was so obvious, you understand what I´m talking about?"
Dave was surprised. Hotch wasn´t someone that fell for a pretty face, Hotch always looked at the person, and this person, whatever the reason might be, seemed to be something special for Hotch.
"You think, you´re in love with her? Aaron, you're alone, since Haley's death, probably since your divorce, but that´s a wild guess. Men are not made for solitude, Aaron. But having sex with someone, doesn´t mean, you have to love that someone, as well. Especially if she might not feel the same."
"I'm not an idiot, Dave. And I do know the difference between love and sex. We made love tonight, in the true sense of the meaning. I didn´t impose on her, she came by. She even brought something for Jack. She feels exactly the same way. I know." Hotch said, almost inaudible.
Dave sighed, "I didn´t mean to offend you. But I don´t want you to come to a deadlock, because you´re lonely, desperate and sad."
"You have no idea, what´s going on inside of me, Dave." Hotch said stiffly.
"No, maybe not. But did you look into the mirror, lately? You noticed that dark circles under your eyes? They are topping Reid´s. You don´t eat enough and I guess, you don´t sleep either. When was the last time, you laughed about something stupid, Aaron? You´re like an oyster, all closed up. You´re pushing us away, all of us. For how long you didn´t come along with us, when the gang had some fun? This pain will kill you, Aaron. I´m your friend, don´t expect me, to watch your break down, doing nothing. I won´t." Rossi said sharply.
Hotch left Rossi´s office without a single word.
JJ heard the distinct 'Porca Miseria' as she slipped shortly after Hotch into Rossi's office.
"What´s up?" she asked.
"I said a few things right into his face. Maybe I went too far, JJ."
XXX
"How are you today, Callie?" Dr. Malone asked. She came to re-new her prescribe for painkillers. Ike Malone had a lot of patients and he generally tried to keep as much distance as possible, but when he met Callie Aimes it became difficult. He liked her. Callie reminded him of his granddaughter, Renée was a very warm and caring person, just like Callie. There was this foundation, Callie started, when she got ill. A foundation for disadvantaged children. Ike did know her for over two years now. At that time, the tumor was treatable, Callie went through hard times, chemo and radiation therapy, and it seemed as if the surgery was a success. Unfortunately, it only seemed this way.
"Aside from the fact that I'm as good as dead? Excellent, Ike."
"And aside from the sarcasm?"
"The paralysis is worse, mainly on the left side. And my memory sometimes is like a big Swiss cheese. Earlier this day, I did not know where my bathroom is. You know how long I have lived in this apartment already? For 12 years! And I didn´t know, where this damn bathroom is." Kayleigh stifled a sob.
Ike Malone swallowed. Callie was always very calm when she came here, but now she looked extremely vulnerable and confused.
"Is there anything else bothering you?"
"I've met someone, Ike. I feel attracted to him. He's also chipped in some way. Not like me, but not less injured, Ike. And I ... I, God, Ike. I accepted to die, and now ... " Callie wept uncontrollably. Malone patted her back, helplessly. He preferred 12 hours time in the operating room, than trying to comfort someone for whom there was no solace at all.
XXX
"Daddy, I missed you sooo!" Jack wrapped his arms around his father's neck and hugged him furious.
"I missed you too, buddy," Hotch said and replied the hug just as fiercely. His son deserved a father who loved him from the heart, and stayed with him, whenever it was possible.
"I've got something for you, Jack. But you have to watch out very well and you can´t take it to school, okay?"
Callie didn´t say so, but Hotch knew, usually pre-prints were under lock and key until the day of release. Jack nodded enthusiastically, he was good in keeping things to himself. Just like his father.
Jess smiled, she always liked watching Jack and Hotch together. Jess knew how hard it was for Hotch at the moment and she gave him great credits, for never showing Jack that his father hardly coped with himself.
"Tell me, Daddy, what is it?" Jack jumped around his father.
"Slowly, Jack, do you remember how you asked me when you finally learn what happened to Ferdinand?"
"Ye-hes, and you said that we have to wait sooo looong." Jack showed a distance with his hands. Hotch had to smile when he saw the impatience of his boy. He pulled the book out of his briefcase.
"Kayleigh, the woman who wrote the book, gave it to me and she has also written something in it, for you, Jack."
Jack opened his eyes wide, "You met Ferdinand's Mum? And she did that only for me?" Jack looked fascinated on the usually blank first page.
"F-or li-ttle Jack. That's me, Daddy! But that's handwriting that is difficult," Jack looked pleadingly at Hotch and Hotch continued to read.
"who is as lovable as his Dad."
Callie had also drawn a little purple-eared rabbit and a larger one in brown, which, if you looked very closely, had a similarity with Hotch.
Jack insisted, of course, to read a few pages with his Dad before going to bed and after that, a very happy, little boy fell asleep.
"You're still here, Jess?"
Jess smiled, "First, I would like to watch you eat the vegetable casserole, I have just taken out of the Microwave and secondly, I would like to know how come you know Kayleigh Aimes."
"It's a long story, Jess."
She handed Hotch cutlery and poured him a glass of water.
"I have got time, Aaron. No one is waiting for me, yet."
"I can never make it up to you, what you're doing for Jack and me, Jess." Hotch said, feeling guilty again.
"No, but you don´t have to. Haley asked me to look after you and Jack, in case, anything happens."
Hotch looked at Jess in surprise.
"You never told me that. When did she ask you?"
"After the Reaper attacked you and Haley and Jack had to go into protective custody. It was two years ago, Aaron. I´ve been at the cemetery with Jack. He was trying not to cry, because his Dad doesn´t cry."
Jess put her hand on Hotch's, "somehow you have to try to deal with it, Aaron. Jack, he is a smart kid, he knows you´re missing Haley, as we all do. And he knows, you´re telling him a lie, when you pretend everything is going to be okay."
Jess blinked away a few tears. "Now, tell me about the writer."
Jess changed the topic. Hotch put his half-eaten plate away and got a slightly reproachful look from Jess. She jerked the plate in front of him again.
"Eat up."
"I thought, you wanted to know about Callie?"
"I know you´re multi-tasking, you can talk and eat, so?"
Jess put her head slightly askew and Hotch sighed. "I'm not getting out of this, right? I met Callie last night at the 'blue note', I sometimes go there, when things get too rough. She was singing."
"Singing?"
Hotch nodded, "She likes to do crazy things, sometimes. We, I mean, her and me. .." Aaron paused.
"You had sex?"
Jess nearly jumped in surprise, that was 'crazy'.
"I know, Jess. I´m not that type of guy. But Callie is something special, it wasn´t just an unimportant fuck, not for both of us."
"Okay," Jess said slowly, "so you´ll see her again?"
"I would love to, Jess. But Callie is in some kind of trouble, she doesn´t want me to get involved, I guess. She literally fled. And I will not oppress her, Jess. Damn it. Rossi said, I´m running into something, because I´m lonely and sad. I´m not that sentimental, am I?"
Jess looked at Hotch thoughtfully. "Oh, Aaron. I know how much you have loved Haley. But she's not here anymore and as mundane as it sounds, life goes on. You have the right to grab a bit of luck, Aaron. Listen to me. You are not to blame for her death, George Foyet killed her and he was a sick, dirty pig. He got what he deserved."
Jess hugged Hotch lovingly. "I love you, Aaron. And I only want the best for you and Jack. If you truly believe, Callie is worth the trouble, then talk to her again."
XXX
Jess wanted to go home, after she said goodbye to Hotch, but changed her mind. She knew the 'blue note'. Jess had been there, with Rossi a few times after Haley's death. When she felt the same need for closeness, as Hotch. Jess and Rossi had remained friends after their brief affair. Dave, Jess thought. It wasn´t an affair at all. They were in love, seriously. Dave proposed, but Jess didn´t accept. She promised Haley to take care of Hotch and Jack. She wasn´t able to live a happy life with Dave, when Hotch and Jack needed her so desperately. The detour to the bar was not very long, 20 minutes later, Jess stepped out of her car.
A/N Thanks for reviewing, guys. Guest asked, if there will be a happy ending at least. Kind of, I guess. Definitely not the usual one.