Chapter Nine

The show Grey's Anatomy and the characters are the sole property of Shonda Rhimes and do not belong to me.

Two weeks passed and they barely spoke to each other, at least not verbally. She never tried to scrub in on any of his surgeries and on rare occasions when she had the opportunity, he would always pick someone else. As time passed it became increasingly impossible for them to avoid each other without drawing attention to themselves. She missed him, he missed her but they were both too stubborn to concede. In the interim life went on and Seattle Grace was the better for it. Burke was Burke, efficient, focused highly professional. And Cristina as usual, excelled in everything she did. No one could have guessed that their person lives were in shambles. None of their friends knew that they had become lovers. Late one evening while on call she was trying to take a nap in the on call room when he entered. At first she pretended to be asleep, hoping that he would leave. He didn't. So she opened her eyes.

"Do you realize that someone could walk in here any minute and see you here?" He didn't immediately answer her question.

"I locked the door." He stood there watching her and remembering what happened the last time they were in an on call room together. She closed her eyes and he started to speak again.

"I'm going away for a few days."

"So"

He smiled. She was still his Cristina, still very defiant. "So behave yourself while I'm gone."

She wanted to know where he was going and why but couldn't muster up enough courage to ask. Instead she took the easy way out, pretending that she didn't care. "Don't worry. I won't be sleeping with any other attendings. I'm cured."

"Cristina"

"It's Dr. Yang."

"Dr. Yang, You don't want to talk about what happened between us and I'm not going to force you . . . I want you to think about something while I'm gone. I want you to think about what you want from this relationship . . . what you want from me."

"We don't have a relationship and I don't want anything from you."

He came close to the bed and kneeled down. His movements toward the bed caused her to look up and their eyes met. He raised an eyebrow. "No"

"No" she answered, looking away. He reached out and turned her head so that she was facing him. "Liar" he said softly as he leaned in and gently kissed her lips. At first there was no response from her but she didn't pull away or offer any resistance. He felt her lips tremble confirming what he already knew, that she was not as indifferent to him as she pretends. He kissed her again, this time harder. Inadvertently her hands went up around his neck, her fingers in his hair holding him to her and returning the kiss with so much passion that she not only surprised him but herself. Reluctantly he released her. His body was about to betray him and he didn't her to know. He brushed her hair from her face and gently kissed her on her forehead. "Good night Cristina."

"It's Dr. Yang." She said momentarily, but it was too late, he had already left the room.

The next few days were the worse since she started at Seattle Grace. For the first time she knew what it felt like to be lonely. She couldn't understand it. She had Meredith and Izzie and Alex and George. Those were her friends. The people she bonded with. Burke was just the person she had sex with. Try as she may, she couldn't rationalize it. She missed him terribly. She was not the type to discuss her personal feelings with anyone, not even her friends. Now for once she wished that there was someone she could talk to. She had that someone, it was Burke. With him she didn't have to have long drawn out discussions, didn't have to say everything she feels. He knew. He was the only one who had seen her cry, the only one who could comfort her with a simple hug or a kiss on the forehead. He knew when to ask questions and when to simply hold her close. But even if he were there, he couldn't comfort her this time. He was the source of her problems. If she believed in God or miracles, She would think that he was a miracle sent from God, But a long time ago God took something from her that was just as precious and she didn't trust that god wouldn't take Burke as well.

Little did she know how close her fears were to becoming reality. A week passed and she didn't hear anything about him. As the end of the second week neared she began to hear rumors. At first there were just whispers, then the whispers became louder. She

heard through the hospital grape vine that he had gone on vacation for a week. He had told her that he would be away for a few days. It was the longest week in her life. She missed seeing him, missed observing his surgeries. She missed just knowing that he was there, even if she didn't get to scrub in with him. There were rumors circulating in the hospital grapevine that he was sick. She couldn't concentrate, not even on work. Her own feelings surprised her and scared her at the same time. He always seemed so healthy, so strong. Now, he was somewhere in a foreign country, sick.

She consumed herself with work and a few days later decided to take matters into her own hands. She heard that he was back home but needed extra time to recover. No one said what exactly happened to him. All she knew was that he was sick. She needed to see for herself that he was home and that he was okay. It never occurred to her that he may have company. That she should phone before showing up.

It took several loud knocks on his door before anyone answered. She waited. Momentarily, the door opened and he stood there, a surprised look on his face. She didn't know what to say to him. He was the first to speak. "Dr. Yang, what are you doing here?"

She started to stutter, unable to form the words. He stood there just looking at her, seemingly enjoying her discomfort.

"I..."

Before she could finish, a voice came from inside the apartment. "Preston, darling, I must go now, thank you so much for dinner." The voice was heading toward them. Cristina began to step away from the door, Burke reached out to take her hand but she pulled away, at the same time the voice appeared. It was Burke's date from the mixer. She felt nauseous just like she did that very first night. The woman looked at Cristina and recognition registered in her face. Burke reached out and grabbed Cristina's hand and held it tight. The woman picked up her purse and headed for the door. "Don't bother walking me out Preston, I see you have company, behave yourself." As she reached the door she reached up and kissed Burke on the cheek and to Cristina she said. "It's a small world isn't it, Dr. Yang." And she was gone.

With his guest gone Burke pulled Cristina into the apartment and locked the door. "So tell me, What are you doing here?" Before she could answer, he continued " This isn't a part of your little scheme to repay me is it? ...Because if it is, I want you to know that I consider myself paid in full." He was smiling, obviously joking but she was in no mood to laugh.

"Oh, I thought you said that I owe you, that it wasn't up to par."

She turned and faced the door, intending to leave.

He blocked her way. "Tell me why you came."

"It's not important. I should leave."

"You're not leaving."

She looked in his eyes, then looked down at the floor. "You can't force me to stay here."

"I'm not forcing you. To stay here, I'm asking you."

"I'm tired, I need to go home and take a shower." She sounded and looked tired. Weeks of not sleeping well had taken its toll. It was obvious to him that she was not taking care of herself.

"You can take a shower here, better yet, I'll run you a bath."

"Did you run a bath for your girl friend too?" Just the thought that he could be as intimate with someone else as he had been with her bothered her. Whoever the woman was, Cristina didn't like her.

Burke answered her question. " I told you before she is not my girlfriend."

While he spoke, he removed her bag from her hand and was beginning to take her coat off. She resisted, reiterating that she had to go home. Burke was insistent. "Don't fight me on this, okay. You're tired, you look tired' you shouldn't be driving."

There was something in his voice that drew Cristina's attention. He looked tired himself, a little thinner. She needed to know that he was okay, and so she asked. "What's wrong with you?"

He was not expecting her question. She was concerned for him and no matter how she tries to hide it. Her voice betrayed her. "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine."

She was looking at him as if she was searching his face for a sign that was telling her the truth. He couldn't lie to her.

"A couple of friends and I went on vacation in South America. It was more like a working vacation . . . We volunteered at a hospital there. I contracted a virus . . . I was sick for a few days . . . a viral infection...I'm better now."

She reached up and almost touched his face then realized what she was doing and pulled back. "Are you sure?"

He was startled by the concern in her voice. "Yes, I'm sure."

They stood there just looking at each other, neither one knew what the other was thinking. Cristina broke the silence. "Did she go with you?"

"Yes, She's a doctor Cristina."

"I see" She looked away. "I don't think it's a good idea for me to stay here."

He didn't say anything but held her hand and led her toward the couch. "I want you to sit here for a few minutes. I'm going to get your bath ready."

He left her and went into the bathroom. A few minutes later he returned, towel in hand, but he was too late. She was already fast asleep. The bath would have to wait. He picked her up from the couch and take her to the bedroom. Like he had done once before, he changed her clothes, putting her in one of his shirts and put her in his bed and covered her. As usual he slept in the couch and for the first time in weeks he slept like a baby. It's amazing how when they were apart, they were miserable and unable to sleep. Now, under the same roof, they slept peacefully, each knowing that the other was just a room away.

In the early hours of the morning his sleep was interrupted by movements in the apartment. Judging from the lack of light from the window, he could tell that it was still very dark outside. He fumbled around for his watch. It was just after 3:A.M. He could hear the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Someone was taking a shower. He decided to stay where he was. He didn't want to startle her or make her feel uncomfortable. Minutes later the water was turned off and he heard the bathroom door open. She came to the entrance of the living room paused and looked toward the couch. In the darkness of the room she couldn't see that he was awake but aided by the pale light from the bathroom he could see her. She was wrapped in a towel, her hair loose and unruly. The sight of her had him thinking how easy it would be to simply remove that towel and reveal what was beneath it. He banished the thought from his mind. She was his guest and if he thinks of her in that capacity, then they would survive the rest of the night until morning when she leaves.

There were no sounds coming from the bedroom and he was beginning to think that she had gone back to bed. He was about to doze off when she entered the room again. This time she came right next to the couch and just stood there as if in deep thought. "Burke" She called his name softly, on one hand wanting him to hear her, On the other hoping that he didn't. She was about to walk away when he reached out and took her hand pulling her down on the couch, she didn't resist. He moved over making room for her. Wrapping his arms around her. He pulled her close. She smelled good. The mixture of soap and water combined with her own unique scent act as an aphrodisiac and he couldn't resist her, although he tried. "We shouldn't do this. You should go back to bed."

She moved closer and buried her face in his chest, ignoring his plea. "I didn't mean it . . . It wasn't repayment."

His arms tightened around her. Trying to control the excitement he felt at just hearing her say those words. "I missed you." He sounded sad, as if the memory of not seeing her for almost two weeks was too much to bare.

"I thought something happened to you." He could feel her body tremble as she finished the sentence. She tried to pull away but not soon enough. He felt the wet warm tears as it fell from her eyes onto his bare chest. He pulled her closer and in the darkness raised his hands to her face and wiped her tears away. "Don't cry."

"I'm not crying." She could control her words but couldn't control the trembling of her body. He pulled her closer and just held her. "Thank you."

Surprised at hearing those words from him she asked. "For what?"

"For caring."

"I didn't say I cared . . . I said I thought something happened to you."

He smiled. It was so like her to try to cover up how she really feels.

They laid there in silence, neither one wanted to move. Just being close was enough. And then she asked. "Did you sleep with her?"

"With whom?"

She hesitated, realizing that she didn't know the other woman's name "Your friend . . . although she looked more like a bloodhound to me."

"She's not a dog Cristina . . . and no, I didn't sleep with her." Despite his annoyance that she was calling his friend a Bloodhound, he was amused that she was showing signs of jealousy.

"Well, I could've called her a bitch but I didn't want to insult all the other bitches in the world."

"Cristina!"

"Have you ever slept with her?"

"Cristina! ...go to sleep."

"I've had enough sleep for one night . . . You go to sleep."

Again silence enveloped them. She was lying in his arm, a towel draped around her body and she had no clue of how that affected him, or if she did, she didn't care.

"You can't have sex with me if you're having sex with her."

"Okay"

She waited to hear him expand on the okay and when he didn't she pulled away from him and went toward the bedroom. She loosened the towel and it fell to the floor. She was looking around for her clothes when he walked in holding them. Except for the light coming from the lamp on the night stand the room was relatively dark. She didn't try to cover herself but walked toward him and attempted to grab the clothes from his hand. He grabbed her instead. "Did I say something to upset you?"

"No" She answered too quickly, he knew that she was lying.

He pulled her into his arms, his chin resting on the top of her head. "You look good wearing just your hair" he ran his fingers through her curls. "I'm not having sex with her." She leaned back into his body, unable to resist being close to him.

"You can't even see me clearly."

"No" he said tracing his hand down her body..."But I can close my eyes and I would still know what you look like.. I know every crevice, his hand traveled lower, every corner, and lower, every sensitive place on this body."

She gasps and at that moment he lowered his head and kissed her. The last of the night sky was beginning to fade and the light of the moon peeked through an opening in the blinds casting a golden ray on the two bodies feasting off each other. He picked her up and brought her to the bed. Something he had dome several times before. This time however, he didn't leave her, couldn't leave her. This time he stayed and lost himself in the enigma called Cristina.