Chapter Ten

The show Grey's Anatomy and the characters are the sole property of Shonda Rhimes and do not belong to me.

She was up at the crack of dawn. Got dressed quickly and quietly left the apartment. He would awake later and find her gone. It was becoming a part of her mystique. Spend a few incredible hours with him, have the best sex in the world then disappear. He was looking forward to going to work. She would be there. He hoped that the hide and seek between them was finally over and that they could be much more than Intern and attending with a little sex in between.

At the end of the day he went straight home to shower and change. He was meeting Bill, an old college friend for dinner. He really would prefer to stay home instead of going out, but his friend was only visiting Seattle and he didn't know when they'd see each other again. He met Bill at his hotel and they went to the Hotel bar to have a drink before dinner. They drank and talked about old times but Bill noticed that his friend was not really there. He knew that there were only two things that would make his friend so troubled, women and work. For all that he knew everything was all right with work so that left one thing.

"So Preston, who's the girl?"

Bills question surprised him. "What girl?"

"You tell me. You're distant and this seems like the last place you want be . . . Hey, I'm your friend. So tell me, who's the girl?"

"There's no girl."

Bill smiled. He knew Preston very well. They were college room mates and had become very good friends. "Preston, you haven't heard a word I've said in the last half hour. I told you that my wife and I are planning to have a baby and you say nothing. I told you we want you to be the god father and you say nothing . . . who is the girl?"

"She's not a girl . . . she's . . . "

"She's what man?"

"She's someone I have no business getting involved with . . . she's trouble."

"She's trouble. And you've fallen for trouble?"

To hear someone else say that he had fallen for Cristina validated what he already knew. " I didn't say that I have fallen for her. I said she was trouble."

"Does trouble have a name?"

"I can't tell you that."

"So you're protecting her, from me, your best friend. Then she is someone you work with."

Burke didn't answer and it dawned on Bill. "Preston, don't tell me she's an intern."

"Okay, I won't tell you."

"Preston, listen to me. You've been around interns your entire adult life. There are two types. The ones who will bend over backwards for you, and I mean that literally, and the ones who are afraid of you."

Burke answered defensively. "She's neither."

"Then you have a problem."

"So how do I solve it?"

"Well they say the first step in resolving a problem is to admit that you have a problem . . . You, my friend, have just admitted that you're in love with trouble."

Burke sipped on his drink but said nothing. Bill was still a little bit shocked. It used to be that he was the one with lady problems and Burke was the one dishing out the advice. For the first time the tables were turned. "You know it's not a crime to date an intern. It could cause some problems with her peers . . . may cause some serious problems for you career wise, but there is nothing standing in your way legally . . . Question is. Is she worth the risk? ... Why don't you just sleep with her? Just screw the girl. That could cure you."

Burke stopped looking in his glass and looked at his friend for the first time since they sat down. "Who said I want to be cured? ...Maybe she's worth the risk"

"Does she know how you feel?"

Burke thought about Bill's question. It never occurred to him that Cristina may not know his true feelings for her. "I don't know if she knows . . . She could have guessed . . . I've never really said anything."

"Then think it over carefully man, and go with your gut."

"Do you remember what happened the last time I went with my gut?"

Burke's question took Bill by surprise. He had forgotten how vulnerable his friend still was.

"Look, Preston, don't let what happened before interfere with your life now . . . If you like this girl, go for it.

Burke smiled for the first time that evening. "When did you become so philosophical? ... that used to be my job."

Bill smiled at his friend. They had been through so much together, college, girls, relationships, marriage, heartbreak They'd been through it all and had been each other's sounding board. He hoped that this time his friend would find the kind of woman he was looking for, someone who deserves him. Bill lifted his glass. "Let's make a toast."

Burke lifted his glass. "What are we toasting?"

"This one's to new beginnings." Bill said, sounding a little sad. Although he was happy that his friend was finally putting the past behind him. He couldn't help feeling a little like he was being replaced. He was losing his friend again, to a woman.

"To new beginnings Burke said, and to old friendships."

The remainder of the evening was spent reminiscing about the old days at Tulane and Bill's quest to become a father. Afterwards the two friends parted company with Bill promising to phone before catching his flight the following day.

Burke went straight home after dinner. His conversation with Bill confirmed what he already knew. He had fallen in love with Cristina. He no longer cared about the possible damage to his career. There must be a way to have his career and Cristina too. He wasn't entirely sure of her feelings for him. He knows that she cares but to what extent, he was uncertain. It didn't matter. He would wait, no matter how long it takes.

Early the next morning he awakes to the sound of his alarm clock going off. He must have slept Straight through the night because the sun was now shining through his window. This would be a long day for him as he had back to back surgeries scheduled. The day was perfect. Cristina was assigned to him and they had the best day working together. She was smart and he understood why she was always first in her class in college. Show her a scalpel and its like showing candy to a child. She gravitates toward it, wants to touch it. She simply amazed him. He was nothing like her when he was an intern, and he had not seen anyone like her before. She seemed happy. The happiest he'd ever seen her. After scrubbing out from Burke's surgery she disappeared and he didn't see her for the rest of the day. His day turned out longer than he expected as he had to perform emergency heart surgery on a patient. He was exhausted but wanted to see Cristina before leaving the hospital. She was on call again so he knew that she was still there.

He found her in the on call room taking a break. He thought that she would be exhausted but instead she proclaimed the day to be the best day in her career. Medical crisis seemed to bring out the best in her. She seemed to get an adrenalin rush just thinking about surgery. The more complex the surgery, the better. In the middle of going on about her surgeries she realized that he was not really listening. "What?" she asked bewilderedly.

"Do you remember what I said to you before I went away?"

"No" she lied

"Think. I'm sure you'll remember."

She knew that the game was up and it was time to pay the piper. Her expression changed and sadness replaced the joy of having a successful day in surgery. "Burke, you're looking for something that I can't give you right now . . . You're looking for exclusivity and I can't commit to that. The only thing that I can commit to right now is my career . . . I'm sorry"

He felt like a fool. The silence that followed her little speech seemed to stretch on forever. He turned and walked toward the door. She felt a lump starting to form deep in her throat. "Burke"

She called after him, not wanting him to leave like that.

He turned around and faced her, an unreadable expression on his face. He stared at her until she looked away and then he said the three words that she was not prepared to hear him say. "Goodbye Dr. Yang."

He walked out into the cool evening air and headed for his car. The drive home was tedious and he swore under his breath at the other drivers who chose that night to be careless. Inside the sanctity of his apartment he grabbed his trumpet and started to play. It was a night for sad songs. He played until late into the night. Then he put the Trumpet away and headed for the shower. He scrubbed himself so hard as if by doing so he was scrubbing her away. Afterwards he grabbed a book and tried unsuccessfully to read it. Finally he gave up got a beer from his fridge and stood at his window looking out into the darkness. Maybe he thought. Love was God's way of punishing us for our sins. Maybe like sex love wasn't meant to last forever. Like sex, love must always come to a climactic end, and then we wait, until the next time.