Lovino knew.

He had always known.

It was just that the fucking idiot didn't say it straight to his face. Maybe that wouldn't have been so god damn painful. Why did he have to try to keep it a secret? Did he really think that Lovino didn't know? Did he really think Lovino didn't know that no one actually gave a shit about him? Did he really think that he didn't know that people were around him just to not make their sweet, cute Feliciano upset.

Did he really think that he hadn't realized that everyone wished it was him in the hospital dying?

Fuck...

He felt tears started to come up once again.

How many more times would the same people hurt him all over again?

How many more times would he have to cry for the same old reasons?

How many more times would his heart be broken for nothing?

''Lovino! LOVINO!'' Antonio had realized how bad this situation was. He ran upstairs to Lovino's door, that was already locked. He banged his fist on it.
''Lovi, let me in! I have to talk to you right now!'' he panted.

''I don't wanna hear it.'' A sinister voice replied from behind the door.

''Please! I know you heard me on the phone with Francis! I know what I said and I'm sorry! I was a jerk!''

''I have to agree'' Lovino said coldly.

''Open the door!''

''Fuck off!''

''I'm not leaving until you let me in there!''

Lovino felt the pain go aside a bit, and anger started to form up inside him.

''I told you to get the fuck out from here! I'm not going to let you in, bastard!''

''OPEN THE DOOR!'' Antonio knew that Lovino wasn't going to let him in. It wasn't even worth it.

But something told him not to give up just yet.

Lovino went silent. Antonio could have sworn he heard a sob.

''Fuck you...'' his voice was more quiet this time. ''Why do you even fucking care?''

Antonio didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. Why did he care? Who knows. All he knew was that he had to get in there.

''Lovino, I'll...

I'll break the door!''

''Why do you want to get in here!? If you still have something to say, then say it now and FUCK OFF!''

It was the same thing every time. No Lovi, please, I love you Lovi, I'm sorry. Why did he fall for that every time? That bastard always got away with everything.

Well he did. But not this time. What ever it took, Lovino would not let him get away with it. It's not like he had anything to lose anymore.

''Lovi-...''

Wait. There was something weird in his voice. Was he... was he crying?

Did that mean he really cared for him? Did that mean it actually mattered to him?

No. It didn't. He just wanted to get away with it. How Feliciano would hate him if he hurt his brother.

''Wait, why are you even here!? Surely you'd rather be seeing my brother at the hospital!''

Even if it was just a bit, that hurt Antonio. He'd rather be with his brother?

''Lovi, you know I care about you!''

''You wouldn't give a shit about me, if Feliciano didn't exist!''

That wasn't true. That wasn't the truth. Antonio truly cared about Lovino, even if Feli wouldn't exist. Feliciano was cute, sweet, kind, everything. Lovino wasn't. He wasn't like that. But he was very important to Antonio, and that's all that mattered.

''It's not true, okay!? It's not true...''

''When is anything true, Antonio? When do you actually tell the truth?''

''Well I'm telling the truth when I say I love you!''

Now it felt like someone took the pieces of Lovino's heart and rubbed it in his face.

That was it. The last piece of shit he'd take from that bastard.

Lovino had to get out of there. He had to get the fuck out, but how? Antonio was sitting outside his door, and he would surely grab Lovino before he could get away.

Maybe he could get out from the window?

He walked to the only window in his room. He looked out.

It was a sunny, beautiful day. The view out of the window was the backyard of their house, and a few lonely tomato trees under his window.

The drop was... high. It was at least five to six meters - his room was upstairs. If he jumped out now, it would kill him. Kill him, or at least damage him so he couldn't run away...

Then again, who cares? Who cares if one day I wouldn't show up? If i was just gone like that?

He looked down again. If he'd jump, he'd land on nothing but hard ground. He gulped.

''Lovino! Are you in there!?'' Antonio's voice said.

He'd eventually have to come out for a reason or another, or Antonio could ask the potato bastard to break the door.

He opened the window and stepped on the sill.

He looked at his room for the last time.

Here goes nothing, he thought, closed his eyes and dropped himself out of the window.

But there went everything.