It was raining like hell.
What the fuck am I doing? Lovino thought to himself. He was limping along the muddy road. It was Friday evening, two days after he had left Antonio. He hurt his leg pretty badly when he jumped out of the window. At first he thought that'd be it. He couldn't get away. But when he heard the Spaniard call for him from the window, he somehow managed to crawl out of sight. He had been just walking blindly without even knowing where he's headed. Now it was a rainy evening, it was getting dark and there wasn't even anyone around to give him a ride to the nearest... somewhere.
Dammit...
He was cold and hungry. He had been walking so much with his hurt leg that he had become exhausted. Now he was soaking wet as well.
But he didn't regret for a second that he left. He was happier this way...
On his own like he always ended up.
So then why...
Why were the raindrops on his face mixing up with tears?
...
Antonio groaned and looked at the clock. 7 P.M. Couldn't this day be over already? The weather outside was horrible...
He was curled under the blankets on his sofa. He didn't feel like doing anything.
He didn't feel like living.
Nothing caught his interest anymore. He didn't eat. He didn't get dressed. Why would he? There was no point when he didn't even meet anyone during the day. He didn't pick up the phone when his friend Gilbert tried to call him. A minute later his phone received a text from the said guy.
''God dammit, Toni. Pick up the phone!'' it said.
Antonio looked at his phone unwillingly. He almost dropped it when it started ringing again. He took the call.
''What?''
''Oh finally you picked up! Awesome!''
''Say what you have to say.''
''Fine, fine, calm down. I called you because this can't go on anymore.''
''What can't?'' Antonio's eyes widened for a bit.
''You have to pull yourself together, man. We're going to go visit Feli in the hospital. You'll come with us.''
''Don't just make conclusions on your own! But I guess I can come...''
''Awesome, Fran will pick you up soon.''
''We're going right away?'' He groaned and curled up under the blanket a bit more.
...
Despite the state he was in, Antonio was really glad to see Feliciano. It cheered him up a bit.
Feli was awake. He lied on the bed of the hospital room, attached to just a few machines. He had gotten better?
The Italian smiled brightly (but slightly tiredly) when the three of them entered the room.
''Ve... You all came to see me?'' He said.
''Kesesese! You bet we did!'' Gilbert replied cheerily, placing his coat on the table.
''So!'' Francis said, sitting down on the chair beside Feliciano. ''How have you been?''
Feli turned his head to Francis and smiled vaguely. ''I've been worse.''
He didn't even realize how happy that made the others feel. Antonio forgot about Lovino for a second. He forgot that he had ever left and somewhere in the back of his head he assumed Lovi was home, waiting for him now that Feli was doing a bit better.
Until Feliciano opened his mouth again.
''Where's fratello?''
How did he do it? With just two words he completely broke Antonio. Francis, Gilbert and Antonio all glanced at each other.
There's no way Antonio could tell him the truth.
Tell him, that he broke his brother's heart.
Tell him, that he left.
No way he could tell him now. Now that he had been feeling slightly better. No way in the fucking world he could tell him now. Maybe someday.
But for God's sake, not now.
''He didn't have the time to come today... he stayed at home.'' He said.
You fucking liar.
Gilbert and Francis both looked disappointed.
Antonio couldn't look him in the eye.
''Oh...'' Feli then said. ''Will he... will he come next time? I miss him.''
God dammit, Antonio.
Antonio forced a smile on his pale face.
''He'll come for sure.''
Feliciano's happy face made him die a bit on the inside.