I forced myself off Reddit so I could write this for you guys. Be happy. ;)

Insanity

Everything changed once Ash became famous.

Suddenly, everyone knew his name, height, shirt size, and insurance information.

The young man couldn't go out to get the mail without seeing the cameras poking through the bushes and being blinded by the flashes. He'd always assumed the paparazzi would be the worst part. They'd catch him everywhere he went and questioned everything he did. However, he turned out to be completely incorrect.

The worst part was the girls.

Once Ash became the Pokémon Master, girls wanted a date with him, girls sent him fan mail, girls, girls, girls. Ash, being the married man he was, did his absolute best to ignore them, and it worked. Ash ignored the girls, his wife was happy, and the girls just tried harder. So he ignored them harder and Misty glared at them harder.

The younger girls weren't a problem. They were school-aged little kids who just wanted an autograph from the best and cutest role model an aspiring young trainer could have. It was the "mature" girls who had issues. Half of them were at least fifteen years older than him, trying to regain some twisted sense of youth. The other half seemed to be perky twenty-year-olds. However, age, cup-size, and perkiness made no difference to Misty.

Misty was a firm believer in the principles of equality, and that was why she despised each and everyone of Ash's insane fangirls equally.

Whenever a fangirl did something really over the top (which happened far too often, in Misty's opinion), Misty made it a point to show them just what happens when one messes with the Pokémon Master's volatile wife.

People had always told Misty that her feisty temper would die down with age, but the prime reason this was untrue was proven one sunny day around six weeks ago when she took Ash to the Cerulean racetrack.

Misty Ketchum sat alone in the front row of the outdoor stadium, watching the race crews prepare the track for the qualifying rounds of the evenings' racing. Well, she wasn't really alone. Countless strangers surrounded her and the empty seat she was saving for Ash. She glanced around, trying to ignore the stares and mutters of the other racegoers next to her.

"Look! It's the gym leader, Misty!"

"She's the Pokémon Master's wife!"

"Well if she's here, doesn't that mean he's here too?"

Misty turned to her left and shot an icy glare to the men and women pointing and whispering conspiratorially in her direction.

"Do you people mind? I'm trying to enjoy an evening of annoyingly loud race cars driving around in a circle with my husband!"

The fans next to her immediately turned away and whistled nervously. Misty rolled her eyes.

"I hate these stupid races and these stupid concrete seats and these stupid people," Misty muttered under her breath. She glanced around, hoping to spot her beloved husband approaching, but caught no site of his messy black tresses or his eternal yellow companion.

Sighing once more, Misty got up from her seat, removed her jacket, and placed it over the hard sidewalk-colored concrete. Adorning her purse so she could buy herself the chili fries Ash had probably forgotten about on his way to the bathroom.

Upon climbing the steps to the concession level at the top of the outdoor stadium, Misty's hawk-like eyes caught a glimpse of her husband.

Ash Ketchum, dressed casually in faded jeans and a white polo shirt, chatted happily with the electric mouse on his shoulder as they waited in the concession line. Misty sighed in relief when she realized that he hadn't forgotten her fries or gotten himself lost.

She swore sometimes that she'd married Psyduck.

Misty trekked up the last few steps and walked through the thick throng of people, assuming she'd find her patiently waiting lover with Pikachu, buying her chili fries.

What Misty found instead was enough to make her blood boil straight through her skin.

Ash Ketchum stood in the same concession line, nervously looking around while a blonde girl who looked three or four years younger than the twenty-seven-year-old Master was obviously attempting to flirt with him. She carried a drink in one hand and played foolishly with the buttons on her blouse.

However, by the time Misty had arrived at the scene, veins nearly popping out of her forehead, the blonde bimbo had already downed her drink, dropped the plastic cup, and ripped her blue blouse open. A deafening scream of, "I LOVE YOU, ASH KETCHUM!" could be heard over the few racecars beginning to rev their engines.

Misty, who had stopped right behind the girl in surprise, felt a sickening sensation of vertigo while Ash stood stupidly with his mouth wide open. He looked over the topless girl's shoulder and saw his redheaded wife standing there, just as shocked as the rest of the nearby crowd who had watched the scene unfold.

"Misty, it's not what it looks like, I swear!" Ash said, shutting his eyes tightly to avoid staring at the blonde's chest. Pikachu imitated his master, placing his paws over his dark eyes.

Misty wordlessly walked over to Ash and grabbed his forearm, leading him away from the girl in the direction of where they had parked the car. Pikachu winced as he and his masters heard the dreaded followup cry from the drunk girl.

"Ash, won't you sign my chest!?"

Horrified, Ash attempted to open an eye to look at Misty—and ONLY Misty—but she cut him off before he could try.

"Keep your eyes shut." Misty let go of Ash's arm by the entrance of the parking lot. "Stay. Right. Here." Ash nodded fervently at his wife's menacing command, obeying her every word. Pikachu, who had not been ordered to keep his eyes shut, scrambled on top of Ash's head, and watched Misty stomp away.

Misty turned around after giving Ash his instructions and marched back to the exact spot where the blonde had revealed herself to Ash and the surrounding public. The girl stood there, obnoxiously giggling with her girlfriends, buttoning up her shirt.

"Shay, I can't believe you weren't wearing a bra when you did that!"

The group of girls giggled even louder as Misty approached, unnoticed by the other young women. Misty politely tapped "Shay" on the shoulder.

"Hi, you're the one who just showed your boobs to that guy, right?" Misty began innocently, fake giggling like the rest of the girls.

"Yeah, I totally did!" Shay slurred.

"Oh, good. Then let me show you this."

A sickening crack filled the air near them as Shay squealed and covered her bleeding nose.

"My nose job is ruined!" Misty smirked.

"I'm sure the surgeon who did your boobs can fix that."

And with that, the young redhead turned around, sauntered back to Ash and his starter, pushed him into the car, floored the gas pedal all the way home, and made sure the young Master knew just who he was allowed to see naked.

I know this wasn't *quite* true to the prompt of "insanity" but I figured Ash's fangirls could be pretty ridiculous, which makes them act sort of nuts. So that's why this happened. XD