.
"I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
like a fool at the top of my lungs.
Some times when I close my eyes,
I pretend I'm alright but it's never enough.
'Cause my echo, echo, is the only voice coming back.
Shadow, shadow, is the only friend that I have."
He had told Molly that he wasn't okay. He wasn't. He was faking his own suicide, for God's sake; of course he wasn't okay. He wasn't unfeeling. He wanted to be, he strived to be, but sentiment snuck in when he least expected it and... he wasn't okay.
Nothing about this is 'okay'. Standing on the edge of a building, telling John that he's a fake, that he invented Moriarty, the man who is lying, dead, behind him. That he had researched John and how, how could have he done that? He hadn't even know Mike was bringing John over, let alone being able to find stuff about his drunk, divorced sister online. He could have, he supposed, but it would have taken time, but he knows that John will swallow the lie, for now, anyway, because Sherlock's about to commit suicide in front of him.
But these details matter. He has to make sure that John utterly believes that he is doing what he is doing. That he really is going to be dead. If he can make his best friend believe it, three assassins will believe it, too.
And then? Then it's going to be a very solitary life, Sherlock reckons, but he lived that once before and he can live it again... albeit if he doesn't really want to.
"I don't want to be an island.
I just want to feel alive and get to see your face again."
Song: Echo by Jason Walker.
Disclaimer: I do not own the song, lyrics, etc.
Molly. :)
I do not own Sherlock. Thank you!