.
"I'm walking up to you so slowly.
It's about time, it's about time to fly away,
but wait.
I swear it's different 'cause I'm lonely.
Fold your wings; you'll need them more one day."
It's not as though John can believe any of this.
He can't. He can't entertain the thought, like Sherlock had said, that he had been taken in as well by the lie. He knows that it isn't a lie, that someone is making Sherlock say this, making him stand there. Someone is pulling the strings. It's Moriarty; Moriarty, who's real and who's alive and who's making Sherlock say that he's a fake, that he invented the crimes, that he is going to commit suicide.
No, it can't be true. It can't be real.
But it is. It's real.
Sherlock is standing on the edge of St Bart's, Sherlock is saying "This is my note", Sherlock is going to jump, and John is going to watch.
He's going to watch his best friend die, he's going to watch his life fall apart. He's going to watch everything fall apart as Sherlock falls down and, it's terrifying, it's acutely terrifying, that John is going to not only lose everything he knows but his best friend, his only best friend.
Yes, he goes out drinking with Mike and talks with Bill and gets on well enough with Greg, but he doesn't have the same relationship with them that he does with Sherlock. He doesn't have that and he isn't going to have it now and he'll never have it again.
He's never talked anyone down. He did training at Bart's, he did war in Afghanistan. Morale had never been particularly high; John had had to remind people what they were fighting for, what was at stake, reassure them that this would all be over soon.
But he had never had to talk someone down, not like this, and no one, no one, can talk Sherlock Holmes down.
Not even him.
John knows that he's going to lose his best friend.
No, he doesn't believe all the drivel that Sherlock is spewing, but he does believe the emotion behind it. Something is wrong, something is seriously wrong, besides the obvious Moriarty scandal, but John doesn't know what and he knows that he can't understand it right now.
But he's going to lose his best friend.
He's losing his best friend and he's losing a part of himself as well.
He can't breathe.
The world is about to shatter and all John can do is watch.
Song: It's About Time by Barcelona
Disclaimer: I do not own the song.
No matter how many times, Reichenbach always eats away at my sanity. And pulls at my heartstrings. Revisiting this hurts. :pI do not own Sherlock.