She Ain't You
Barry Allen had left hours ago on a train he actually caught for a change. Felicity had practically floated home on a cloud of nerdy thoughts tinged with tiny red hearts. Even Oliver, who was time worn and battle scarred, could see them as if it was a Warner Brothers cartoon.
But here he was, as he usually could be found, alone. The Big Belly Burger diner. Eating amazingly greasy yet completely satisfying French fries.
Savoring the salty, greasy and tomato flavor of a fork full of fried potato, Oliver pondered what exactly had just happened to his team since Mr. Allen walked, no better yet, liedhis way into his team. Obviously, he was grateful that Barry saved his life. However, it annoyed him greatly that the fresh-faced geek had not earned Queen's trust to be told his secret by Oliver himself.
Give Felicity a break, a voice scolded him in his head, she was saving your ass like she always does.
More like covering hers, he argued back with the other side of his head. Grimacing outwardly at his cruel comment, he changed his tune quickly as he stuffed another forkful of fries into his mouth.
Look what you give her: nothing. Platitudes. Small gestures but nothing that says, "Felicity, I am useless without your skills. You bring amazing talent to the team." But no, you stay aloof and unreadable, his conscience assailed him. Oliver closed his eyes as if he were savoring the flavor of his favorite guilt-trip snack but now it just tasted like sawdust in his mouth.
Barry. Barry. Barry Allen. His thoughts became darker. Opening his eyes he recalled the tender glances he gave her. How he positioned himself so close to her that if she barely moved, she touched him. How he made her laugh to easily and frequently.
Queen wondered if he ever made Felicity laugh in merriment rather than self-effacement. I have my reasons; I have my motivations. I don't owe anyone an explanation for why I treat Felicity the way I do. It's for her safety. I do it for her, he announced in his skull proudly but faltering at the end.
Riiight, his conscience sneered back.
" You know, most men drink to drown their sorrows, not eat them away." The familiar baritone of Diggle announced his presence behind Oliver. Oliver didn't flinch in surprise but instead barely turned his head. " May I join you?" Dig rumbled as he stepped into Oliver's line of sight, his eyes arching upward questioningly.
Oliver made a gesture with his fork, glowering at the older man. John sat next to Oliver in a chair at the table positioned in the middle of the dining room. The booths lining the windows were filled with people and almost every other seat taken. It was the busiest he'd seen the place since the Undertaking disaster.
Silence weighed between them. Oliver continued to munch through the basket of fries.
The familiar bell jangled at the entrance door of the restaurant behind them and a woman's voice began to babble excuses. Oliver pivoted and saw only the back of the woman with a long blonde ponytail. She was meeting some friends and rambled on about how work made her late and she almost hit a dog and … the commentary wore on. Is that Felicity? Oliver pondered, still not able to get a clear view of her face, but he could make out her voice above the din of conversation. He didn't recognize the other people with the woman. Blinking he realized he just admitted to himself that he spied on her acquaintances. Setting his jaw, he resolved to stop doing that.
"What are you doing yoga to see, Oliver?" Diggle asked finally, tired of seeing ketchup drip onto Oliver's shirt from his suspended and apparently forgotten fork in his hand.
"Is that Felicity?" Oliver said out loud, still perturbed he couldn't see the woman's face. All he could glimpse was a bare profile, slim glasses, that identical blonde ponytail. She wore bright colors like Felicity and her mannerisms were a doppelganger almost.
John turned and glanced, "Nope. Not her."
Oliver cut his eyes quickly at John, then back at the woman "How are you so certain?"
John looked evenly at Queen and said "What's got your shorts in a bunch?"
Queen realized he sounded a bit unstable and turned back around still listening carefully to the woman's voice, "Sorry."
"Well if it was her, don't you think she'd see us, walk over and say hello?" John offered then prodded, "You know she's only work with us for, oh, two years."
Oliver resumed his attack on his fries, now cold, as Dig's words sunk in and gave him a slow burn. The lady's voice babbled like a brook and it was driving Oliver nuts. He imagined the swing of the ponytail over that delicate neck and the way Felicity would brush it away from her pretty and feminine tops. "Ahem." John cleared his throat.
"What?" Oliver growled through a mouthful of fries.
" So are you going to tell me what is going on with you or am I going to make my very intuitive and perceptive assumptions." Dig returned propping his forearms on the table.
Oliver swallowed and took a sip of his iced tea with a steely look, "There is nothing wrong here."
John inhaled and then sighed the way a parent would when trying to pry information from a recalcitrant teen-ager and stood up, "Ok. Fine. Have it your way. I'll see you tomorrow." Queen mumbled a good bye, but Dig paused a few steps away, "It isn't her." Queen blinked and then watched John pivot and leave.
Turning his gaze back to his basket of mostly gone fries, he stuck his fork in the remainder and sipped his tea again. Between gulps he listened to the voice of the woman and compared it to Felicity. The cadence, phrase choice and lilt were so close to Felicity that he found a strange feeling of regret forming in his chest instead of the happy butterflies.
Putting down cash on the table, he stood to leave and finally got a good look at the woman. It wasn't Felicity and a mixed bag of emotions stirred in him; half elation and half disappointment. Either way the mixture was bitter. She ain't you, he thought sourly and resolved to see less of Barry Allen and more of Felicity on non-work terms. The bell rang as he opened the door, and the woman looked toward him in a friendly way with a half smile but all he saw was Felicity's face. Oliver gave a sociable smile back and left into the dark air.