That's about the time I notice the bloodstained rag on her right shoulder. My eyes widen greatly and I feel my jaw drop to the floor.
She's missing an arm.
Completely gone.
Her chin quivers slightly and I pull her body against me before she breaks. Her tears seep into my shirt and I pull the two of us away from the masses. I engulf my girlfriend into my arms, and hold her tight against me. I don't ask about it, and she doesn't offer any information to me. The pain I'm feeling for her sits dully in my bones, and eats my heart out. I want to take that pain from her, and never let her have it again.
When her tears finally dry, and her cries turn to quiet mews, her ocean blue eyes latch onto mine and I drop my mouth to hers quickly. I brush my lips against hers and she stands on her toes so she can taste me. I sigh into her mouth quietly, and tighten my grip on her waist. Somehow she still tastes like strawberries, even after going through hell. She tastes like heaven, and serenity and safety.
"I love you," I breathe, "So much." Her fingers latch into my ripped shirt and keep me close to her. The pink ting around her eyes turns darker, and I know she's about to cry again. I kiss her once more to tell her that I just want to hold her for the rest of my life.
She sniffles and her arm wraps around my neck, pulling me down closer to her. "I've missed you so much," She whispers, sniffling again.
"I've missed you, too." I reply, pecking her lips. I glance at the rag on her shoulder and she shifts uncomfortably in my arms. "You don't have to talk about it," I tell her quickly, "Let's just go get you cleaned up."
After a couple hours, the medics have performed surgery on Madge's shoulder and cleaned up the wound a bit. They didn't allow me anywhere near her when they were operating, said that I would 'distract them' or something. I don't know. Now, though, I'm waiting for them to let me back in when a small girl lunges at me. For a moment, shock courses through my veins, and I panic, I don't like stuff touching me.
"Prim!" I exclaim quickly, hugging her tightly. "You're okay!"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
I hesitate. "Katniss thought you were in the final bombing."
Prim shakes her head quickly and her eyes widen. "No, I wasn't. They didn't let me go in to the warzones, even though they were short on medics."
"Well I for one am so happy that you weren't there."
"Where is Katniss?" Her eyes are questioning and concerned.
Once again, I hesitate. "She, uh, went a little psychotic when she thought you were dead. They took her away for burn treatment as well as psychological treatment. You might want to ask another medic, I don't know." Her face falls and I quickly fix my mistakes. "I'm sure she's fine, Prim. When she finds out that you're okay she's going to be better than ever." But I don't believe that. Poor Katniss has suffered through so much. She's never going to be okay again.
Prim's two braids bob up and down as she nods. She scampers away from me quickly and I push myself off of the wall to find Madge. She finds me first though. I smile softly at her, before guiding her away from the rest of the people in the medical station. We sit in one of the hallways, leaning against the wall. I made sure to sit on her left side, so I can hold her remaining hand.
We're quiet for a very long time. I run my thumb over her hand and her head drops onto my shoulder.
"It happened about a month ago," She starts, and I look at her gently. "We were just outside of the city limits, and we were winning that one fight we were in. It was hand to hand combat. I was fighting against another woman, a Capitol woman. She had bright yellow eyes and looked like a dog. Her teeth were sharpened." Her telling me what the woman looked like must be some sort of a way to cope. "She had bitten down on my shoulder, and immediately it started gushing blood." Madge's voice quivers and my other arm wraps around her body. I move so I'm in front of her.
"It hurt like hell, Gale, but I kept fighting her. She hit me with a sword and..." Madge trails, but I nudge her. I need to know what happened. "It.. It didn't fall off, but it was close. Then the bomb fell. I got separated from my squad, and the next thing I remember is waking up at a medical station in the Capitol, with my shoulder wrapped."
She sighs and curls into my side, closing herself off again. Her hand releases from mine, and her fingers trail down my chest where she can feel the bandages.
"Mutts. Underground right before we got here." I tell her, she doesn't need to know the whole story. Not yet, at least. Right now, I need to know that she's okay. I could care less about my own sanity, she's the only one I'm thinking about.
We're quiet again, and some soldiers march past us. Boggs is in the group, and he gives me a nod.
"Gale?" Madge asks softly. Hesitantly, even.
"Yeah?"
"Do... Do you still want to.."
"Do I still want to what? Madge?" I force her to look at me. I take her chin in my hand and raise an eyebrow. "Talk to me." I need to know that she's okay, I need to know that she's going to be fine.
She speaks the words in a rush, like she doesn't want me to hear them nor answer them. "Do you still want to be with me?"
My brows furrow on my forehead, and she repeats the question. "Why the hell would you think that I wouldn't want to be with you?" I try to make my voice calm and quiet, but inside I'm burning. I'm pissed to no end. Why in God's name does she think I don't want to be with her? She's all I want.
"Because of my arm; I just thought.." I press my mouth to hers quickly to shut her up, and her fingers tangle in my hair. The familiar sensation of massive knots return in my stomach. Goddammit, this is what she does to me.
"Well you thought wrong, Madge." I nearly snap and she cowers down. "Listen to me, dammit, Madge, look at me." Finally, her eyes meet mine. "I don't care. I don't care that you only have one arm, I don't care that it's different, I don't care. I love you. Nothing's going to change that."
"I just thought that you would want someone normal." Her voice is sad, quiet.
I breathe quietly. "Madge, normal is boring. I want someone who can surprise me every day, I don't want someone who does the same thing everyday, I want a real person. I don't want a cookie cutter person who just goes about their days normally, I want someone who mixes it up here and there." I pause and her fingers tug on the tips of her hair from her ponytail. "Sure, it'll be different. It'll take some getting used to. But you're still you. It doesn't matter."
"Gale,"
"No," I stress, pulling her thin body into my lap. She's lost a ton of weight, she's probably barely above one hundred. It's a miracle she's still alive. "I only want you. There is no one else." She tries to speak again, but she ends up sniffling. "We clear?"
Finally she nods, and launches herself at me. Her mouth devours mine, and I respond with just as much enthusiasm. I need her. In our frenzy, I don't even notice the few soldiers that come to stand in front of us.
"Soldier Hawthorne." My head falls back against the wall, and I glance at the men. Coin's associates. Quickly, Madge slides off of my lap and I stand, saluting them.
"Yessir." I reply, and one man steps forward.
"You are needed in the conference room." I glance at Madge slightly, and she raises an eyebrow. I nod quickly and wait for them to leave. "We have orders to escort you there." I grumble incoherent words and turn back to Madge.
"I'll find you later. Don't go to far, okay?" She nods and I help her stand. I brush my lips over hers quickly and she smiles a little before scurrying back down to the medical station. I watch her disappear into the room before I follow the soldiers. I can't help but think that this is going to be bad.
Once in the conference room, I find the other remaining Victors in the room. There's not many left. Katniss and Peeta. Finnick and Annie. Enobaria. Beetee. A couple more I can't name. Finnick's on webcam, considering he went back to District 13 when he found out that Annie was in labor. Annie's nowhere to be seen, but Finnick looks completely filled with euphoria and complete and utter serenity.
Katniss looks banged up. She looks tired and melancholy, and just done. She and Peeta sit next to each other, not conversing or anything. Boggs comes into the room and nods at me. The two of us stand at the back of the room, considering we aren't exactly Victors. Coin sits at the head of the table and her hands fold in front of her.
"In light of everything that has happened.. I believe that a congratulations is in order." No one says anything. There's no congratulations that should be said. We killed so many people. I killed so many people. It makes me sick. "Secondly, we have a decision to make."
So Coin explains about the Games for the Capitol children, to let the Capitol know what they've been putting us through. One look at Katniss, and I know she's all for it. The Games were sick, yes, but they need to experience it firsthand.
We take a vote. Katniss, Enobaria, Boggs and I vote yes. Peeta, Finnick, and Annie vote no. "Then it's decided. We will start planning the Games soon enough. As for now, Katniss Everdeen, I believe you have a job to do." Katniss swallows and glances at me. I know that she's not planning on killing Snow, that can wait. Her plan is to kill Alma Coin. No one should want her as out president.
After Katniss kills Coin the next day, the country is put into chaos. Snow is trampled in the masses after Coin falls from the balcony. Katniss is out back in psychological attention and I don't see her for weeks after. I return back to District 13 three days after Coin is killed. My family is happy to see me, yes, but I'm just not there. I can't focus these days. Posy tries to get me to be myself again, I just can't do it.
Finnick and Annie have a healthy baby boy. He's born into a new age, an age of happiness and better lives for people. They named him Navin, which means "new", because of the recent newness our country has had. He's the most adorable baby boy I've ever seen. Looks exactly like Finnick, except with Annie's dark hair. He's gonna be a great kid.
Madge keeps her distance. I hate it. I know why she's doing, and I don't want to have it. Eventually, I cave and I go to talk to her.
She looks entirely too tired. There are bags under her eyes and she looks like she hasn't done much in the past few days. She looks like she's gained a little weight back from our time in the war. Immediately, I cut to the chase.
"Come with me." Her jaw drops a little but then she closes it and retreats into her apartment. I follow quickly and shut the door. "Madge,"
"You know I want to." She says quietly, chewing her lip. "But I can't."
"And why the hell not?" I ask, brows furrowing.
"Because I can't."
"Madge," I start, my arms dropping down around my girlfriend's waist. I tug her body closer to me and she obliges.
"I can't, Gale. I can't because I can't do anything. I'm virtually useless. I can't cook, I can't clean, I can't even put my own hair up anymore. I can't do anything."
"Madge," I plead again, "I don't care. I don't care about any of that. I just want you to come with me. I want you to come with me so I can have a life with you and not be stuck underground for the rest of our lives."
"I want to, Gale, I really do." She pauses, chewing her lip. "It's just not the right time."
"Wait, Madge," I protest and she pulls herself away from my grasp.
"What happens if we break up, Gale? What do I do then? Fend for myself?" She asks, raising an eyebrow. Her sass is definitely is not gone.
"No," I stress, "Madge, that's not going to happen because we aren't going to break up! I want to marry you! How hard is it for you to realize that!" Her eyes brim with tears and she pulls herself even further from me.
"Don't do this. Not now. Maybe," She takes a shuddering breath. "Maybe in a couple months I'll come down there. I-I don't know."
"Madge," I croak, my hands reaching for her again. I can't just leave her here.
"I'll call you everyday, a-and I'll try, but Gale, I just don't," She pauses and looks at her remaining hand, "I just don't think it's going to work."
Usually, Hawthorne's aren't ones to give up. But I do, oh God, I give up. I deflate and finally nod. "Okay." I know what this is about. It's about her insecurities about her arm. She thinks that I'm going to want someone else because she doesn't look normal anymore. But I don't, I only want her.
"We're not breaking up, Gale." Madge finally says, looking at me. "Just taking a break."
"Okay." I repeat, turning to leave. I try not to let the tears burn in my eyes, but they do, and it hurts. Dammit. Why does she do this to me?
"Call me when you get there?" I turn to take in one last look at my girlfriend. Her blue eyes, golden ringlets and the brushing of freckles over her nose.
"Okay." I say again, and hurry out the door.
I don't ever call her.
A/N: So I know it's pretty bad right now, but it's okay. It's gonna be okay, I promise! I'm thinking of either one or two more chapters or this story. Sorry if this one's rushed, I really want to get to the next chapter. This basically summed up a lot of the ending of Mockingjay, except I made it better. Prim's alive, Finnick is alive (I know a lot of you will be happy about that) and everything's kinda okay.