Maria propped her feet up on the coffee table in Eli's living room. It had been nearly a month since the appointment when she found out the growing baby inside of her was a boy, and Eli had gone ahead and asked her to be his girlfriend; and with her being pregnant the two had decided the best place to hang out was his apartment. It cut back on the costs (and dirty looks) that hanging out in bars required, classy restaurants were just neither one's style, and Maria's place came with Francis' antics when he got off of work or Antonio's surprise visit (which included small children and would ruin any sort of mood they'd managed to build.
Chilling out at Eli's place was rather comfortable too. They could just sit and talk, Maria could put her feet on the furniture without getting yelled at, there were no fancy throw pillows, nor a dining room table so there was no reason to not sit on his big comfy second hand couch and watch trashy television. The decor its self was nice and minimal; reminding her that real men existed, men that weren't into making their apartments look like something out of the pages of some magazine. And increasingly she found herself sharing his bed rather than heading back to her own place. Maybe as a middle school teacher she shouldn't be pregnant and having adult sleep overs with a man that wasn't her baby-daddy (though he was so totally the ex-husband of her first cousin).
Eli came into the living room from the kitchenette with two plates piled high with the Chinese delivery they had ordered. He handed her plate over and Maria let it rest on her growing abdominal bump (the unborn baby really had its perks: not only could it operate as a mini table, but she could stuff her face in public, act like a bitch, get free stuff, and people were nicer to her as long as she wasn't hanging out in dive bars). "I really need to get me one of those." Eli said glancing over at her as he took a seat on the floor between the couch and the coffee table.
Maria gave him one of her signature smirks, "Well if you don't mind taking me back to my place to grab a couple of things, I have a huge purple dick I could fuck you with. Maybe my raw power, and baby-batter could travel through that and give you an ass baby."
"Yeah, how about no. The thought of pushing a bowling ball through my anus is more than a bit horrifying." he winced a bit for effect.
"You never know. I've seen some amazing things go into asses before... and what goes in must come out."
He shot her an absolutely disgusted look, "Let's not discuss the mechanics of such things when we're eating... please."
"Pussy," she muttered under her breath before slurping down a greasy noodle. The relationship with Eli was the first real normal one she had ever been in. And despite it being all sentimental and shit, Maria had to admit it was going better than any of the wild ones she had had in the past. It was nice to just be able to sit around and be her usual brotastic self with a guy, have mutual attraction to one another, and not wonder what the hell was coming next. With Ivan things were never like this. It was always fighting and angry sex. She thought that that sort of thing would be enough for her but, having the real thing with Eli, was just so... wonderful... fuck these hormones are making me into a girl. She thought diving farther into her food.
"So... how was your day?" Eli asked raising and eyebrow. The room had been far too quiet for his tastes with just the television on.
"OK I guess," she started, "what are you though, my wife?"
"Ha, no. Just thought we needed to talk or something. With a mouth your size it's too weird when it's shut."
"I can do more than just talk with this mouth baby." she wiggled her eyebrows to emphasize her suggestive tone.
"You know, you shouldn't try to be sexual while lounging on a couch with a dish of food resting on your stomach and your feet on the table like that. You're one Coors Light t-shirt away from looking like you belong in a trailer park."
"Don't be such a classicist dick wad, there are plenty of hot ass working class girls out there."
"Says the trust fund baby that's only working because her father told her if she doesn't have an honest job for a few years he's not giving her jack shit."
"Better than your ex-wife," Maria said crossing her arms, "Even if she wasn't famous and talented she'd still be rolling in cash. I bet you wish that she didn't make you sign that pre-nup, huh?"
"Life isn't all about money my dear! It's just a matter of parenting methods, you know. Your uncle was a rich guy, pretty spoiled, and as his former son-in-law, I can say with the utmost honesty a total douche-bag. Your dad may be strict as hell, which to this day confuses the hell out of me how you're the way you are..." he paused for effect complete with a little sigh, "Anyways, you weren't spoiled and all that stuff, so no one would ever guess your upbringing."
Maria half tossed her now empty plate onto the coffee table and laid down across the couch so that her face was on the same level as his. At that instant she had never wanted to kiss anyone more then she wanted to kiss Eli. But acting on that urge would mean she would have to take the steps necessary to be all mushy, and that so wasn't her style. Why couldn't he have been the one to knock me up? she thought before poking him hard in the arm to salvage her dignity.
"What was that for?" he asked rubbing the sore spot raising his eye brow.
"Lighten the mood up a bit," she said with a sly little grin, "you were getting way too serious, so I thought that we needed a change in direction."
"So you went with the violent option."
"I could beat your ass, but I figured that would give you such a raging boner that you wouldn't even be able to contain your load long enough for me to get off. And you should know how I feel about that!"
He just rolled his eyes and stood up to throwaway the paper plates they had eaten on. She sighed a little bit rolling over to glance at the ceiling for a moment, stretching her arms up before letting her hands rest over her eyes until Eli returned nudging her to sit up and give him a bit of space on the couch. Once he was settled into place Maria slipped her legs over his lap, and in the overly sentimental fashion that she was starting to find a bit of reluctant comfort in, Eli kissed her on the lips and rubbed circles into the small of her back.
"Are you going to spend the night?" he asked adjusting her legs so that they were across his lap in the most comfortable, for him, way possible.
She made a low voice in the back of her throat placing her signature smirk on her lips, "That all depends..." she wiggled her eyebrows for effect.
"Oh it does, does it?" he pressed a finger to his chin as if he were in deep thought, "On what exactly?"
Maria twisted her knees slightly away from his body and pulled her torso towards them as much as the growing bump on her abdomen would allow, "I think you know, what I have in mind. What, with all these crazy ass hormones and shit?"
He paused for a moment thinking playfully before his face changed to a more serious expression. "I don't know about that Maria."
"What do you mean you don't know about that? We've never done it Eli- I need to know what you can do before I can make a total commitment to this relationship."
It was true. Despite the fact that Eli was her boyfriend of nearly a month, he was stable too, and way more loving then Ivan ever said. It had been even longer than that since she had had any sort of sexual contact with someone that wasn't her right hand or an artificial reproductive organ. It had been an okay time, just her and her toys, but she had to admit that she was craving sometime with the real thing.
"Yeah, I know, I know." he sighed turning to look at her and placed a warm hand on her cheek. "I just... I just can't help but think that there is a baby inside of you, and he's not mine. How would you like it if some strange man's dick came all up in your zone."
"Like your dick could make it all the way up to my sacred womb," she rolled her eyes half whining. "Come on Eli I want you to put it in me!"
"I don't have any condoms."
"You're the only man who wants them! Isn't it my job to talk you into wrapping your silly old willy!
"You know what I was saying about having a dick invade your personal space? Well how would your like some baby-batter getting all up on you too?"
"I don't get the point as to why you would have to wear one; I'm already knocked up and I'm pretty sure that we're both clean, so why would we need condoms for?"
"You know with that sort of attitude I can see how exactly you wound up with this little-unexpected-bundle-of-joy-about-to-be." he gave a final sigh of defeat before clicking his television off and pressing his lips to hers with far more passion then any kiss he had yet to give her. She smiled into his lips lifting her arms up to wrap them around his shoulders before her cell phone so rudely interrupted them.
"Are you going to get that?" Eli asked his lips just barely grazing her cheek.
"Do I have to? I was just about to get laid."
"It could be an emergency..." he lifted the phone up glancing at the screen that displayed 'Francis' in bright blue letters on a dark screen, "It's your roommate."
Maria groaned, everything with Francis was an emergency, meaning that there was really no such thing as emergency with the man. She rolled her eyes holding her hand out so that he could pass over the phone, "What the fuck do you want?" she hissed into the phone the, I was about to get my groove on went unsaid but she deeply hoped that he fully understood that's what was going by her tone.
"I can hear that I'm interrupting something... so I will be quick.", Francis spoke quickly through the phone, "You have a guest over here... and his name is Ivan."
"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" She swung her feet over onto the floor and stood up running her free hand through her long white hair. Ivan had turned up looking for her, great, that sort of thing never meant anything good. Though Maria had to assume she was asking for it not turning back up after their fights and not answering any of his calls. "How fucking awesome."
Eli sat on the couch starring at her with his mouth open.
"To make matters even worse he is currently standing in the hall way watching the door. You see he wants to have a conversation with you and refuses to believe that you are not home." Francis sounded on the nervous side. It was awkward when she thought about it, he normally was a bit more found of Ivan though he was quick to admit that the relationship between Maria and the large Russian man was most unhealthy.
"Call the fucking cops on him," she sighed, that wasn't going to happen. Ivan may have just been a florist but no one called the cops on him. She started gathering her stuff together and shot Eli a longing look before slipping the phone in to the nook of her neck, "Sorry Eli I need a ride back home man- it looks like I need to get into a fist fight. Francis was going on about something in his signature over dramatic fashion. Her man gave her a solemn nod before standing up.
"Okay, whatever man. Give me a few minutes I'm on my way back." Maria knew that Francis had to know he was ruining her first time having sex in months now. And if he didn't she was sure as hell going to make sure that he knew the moment that she got back.
"So fist fight?" Eli asked raising an eye brow as he made his way to the door.
"Yep," she nodded, "looks like my baby daddy is trying to find me.