Sorry about the late update. We're back in the Tf2 viewpoint again. Feel free to offer suggestions, advice, or critique. The capo's capper, the weather master, and the familiar fez are described. If you are like me and can't read French, it says, "Of all the morons I have seen…" but I may be off a little.

"Nom nom nom. Nom nom." Heavy took yet another bite of his sandwich as he, Medic, and spy made their way to the odd little town Spy had spotted. "Nom nom-"

"If you make one more sound sandwich is getting a bath in some jarate!" Spy yelled, highly annoyed by the constant sound heavy made at lunchtime.

Heavy stopped eating for a little while, before beginning to nom as soft as he could. Spy reached the end of his rope and slapped the sandwich out of Heavy's hands. "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Heavy yelled as the sandwich hit the ground. Grabbing it from the grass, he begged "You can save him, right?"

As Medic tried to explain the difference between Sandvich and humans, Spy muttered, "De tous les abrutis que j'ai vu…" Then he noticed that they had already entered the city. "Stop your petty quarreling and get over here!" he commanded. They looked up at the tall, purple house in front of them.

"Inside!" Heavy proclaimed, before going in the front door without waiting for the other two. Looking around for any unwanted spectators, they followed.

Inside, they found dresses, jewelry, and all kinds of clothing and garments. Strangely enough, they had four armholes. Nobody noticed, however, because Heavy had made a far more important discovery.

"HATS!" He was yelling as he ripped open a chest full of fedoras, ball caps, top hats, and every other kind of hat in existence. They plowed through in no time and found a few to their liking. Heavy found a simple black fedora with a gray stripe, Medic had a Spartan helmet, and Spy found a fez and sunglasses. Happy with their new items, they continued exploring the purple house.

They found a bedroom with more clothing scattered about and a large, luxurious bed in its center. "Should vhe be snooping in a woman's room?" Medic asked himself.

Spy answered "No," and walked in.

Sadly for all three, they didn't find any bras, panties, or other things they should not have been looking for. They did hear a feminine voice downstairs, crying its eyes out, so they all bailed and jumped out the window.

A somewhat beaten Spy stood up and yelled, "I'm alive!"

Medic landed on him. Not seeing the form below, he stood up and declared, "I live!" Then, he looked up and saw Heavy on his way to the ground.

"Schiza" he cursed.

Engie finished the last component of his crude portal and whooped with victory. "Now that's how you build a portal!" He looked around for his teammates, but the hilly countryside prevented him from seeing which way any of them had gone. He was about to head off in a random direction when he saw Soldier in the distance, flying high up into the air. Soldier shot two rockets, one of which was headed straight towards Engie…

He dove to the side as the rocket destroyed his portal. He stared at the wreckage, frustrated, before lifting his middle finger in Soldier's general direction. With a sigh, he grabbed a piece from his dispenser and began rebuilding the portal.

"Ya' think anyone's in there?" Scout whispered to sniper. They were standing outside of a large hut in the woods, with Sniper up in a tree, scoping out the premises. "Maybe Pyro wandered in there and took a nap or something."

"If Pyro wandered in there, this hut would be a bloody pile of ashes! And I do see something happening on the other side of the house, but its too dark to tell." He checked the door on their side. "It's safe to go in, mate. Let's go."

They crept into the back door, bat and knife at the ready. It was dark in the tight quarters, and they had to feel their way around the hallways. Light began to emerge from the end of the hall, and they crept forward even slower. On the count of three, they burst into the circular room to find…

A bunch of wounded horses being healed by a zebra.

"Now that's some shonky business right there," Sniper whispered to Scout. Every one of the Ponies was staring at them, wide-eyed. For a while, nothing moved. Then, another horse entered from another room and said, "Well, I'm back!"

Out of reflex, Scout swung.

Derpy Hooves collapsed on the floor, out cold. Every other pony in the room screamed and ran around before most of them escaped. "What. Was. THAT?" Sniper asked, wide-eyed, as the final pony face planted in its rush to get out. "Did that horse just say something?"

"I dunno, man," Scout shuddered, "but this is gettin' way too weird for me." The pair ran off and out of the woods, screaming every time they saw one of the ponies.

Pyro woke up and stood up, feeling re-invigorated and fresh. He had more friends to play with, so he pranced off towards the town, ready to bring on the joy. As always, every bunny and squirrel he saw got to taste the sugary goodness of his lollipop.

That's it for this chapter. Try not to worry about the ponies from last chapter; their fates will be further explained and dealt with in the next chapter.