Chapter 9
He felt the paternal proud feeling go through him as he watched his son look excitingly out the cockpit window. He could feel Luke's anticipation of finally going home. He still felt sadness though to see him go, so he tried to picture things through Luke's eyes: horrendous 'parents', being kidnapped by a strange man, begin taken to strange places, finding out his own kidnapper was his father who he thought had been dead for the past ten years. Anakin sighed; he'd be happy to go home too.
Luke pulled away from the window, the window revealing small handprints from where he was watching the landing going on.
He got one of his thoughtful looks again and looked up at Anakin with sad eyes, "Father, are you better yet?"
At that moment Anakin would've done anything for that kid.
Luke hadn't fully brought him out of the dark yet, for he was still at his post of Darth Vader. But the part that was Anakin Skywalker had returned upon seeing his son's face in the morning, upon seeing the reflection of himself and his wife in Luke's eyes. He could never fully be Anakin Skywalker again if Luke wasn't with him, he would turn back to his old ways, seeing him depart made him sad. He hadn't felt that emotion in a long, long time.
Never had Anakin expected something so drastic like this to enter his life. He thought that by leaving the Jedi he would stop all that. But by only knowing Luke for a small amount of time, he could already tell that what he thought of life when he was Vader was very different from what he thought of life as Anakin.
Anakin tried to find something positive in Luke's going away. As a father, nevertheless, he could've had it so much worse. Luke could've died with Padmé, too, and he would've never gotten to know his son…and now the emperor would never have to know that Luke existed. Anakin smiled at that thought, Luke would never have to be in service to the emperor.
In some ways though, he thought that maybe if he hadn't run into Luke on that day on Tatooine, it might've served him better. After all, it was his fault he had missed the first decade of Luke's life. It would've served him better; it would've saved him the pain of seeing him go…but the pain of never knowing him…that seemed much worse.
"Lord Vader," the pilot said. "We're coming up on Tatooine. Should we land, sir?"
He nodded. "Yes," he told the pilot, "Right by the second moisture farmer, captain."
The pilot nodded, moving the ship far enough away from the tiny farm so it wouldn't disturb Beru and Owen.
Luke had taken the seat next to the pilot, examining the many buttons and levers that the cockpit had. It was hard not to push, or pull, any of them – it was so tempting. Luke turned around briefly to find his father slumped against the wall, his hand pushed into his thick hair.
"Father?"
Anakin looked up upon hearing his son's voice. "Yes?" He answered.
Luke asked, completely clam, "You okay?" His compassion was unremarkable, it reminded Anakin so much of…
Anakin nodded, trying his best to hide his feelings, knowing Luke was force-sensitive. He lied, "Yeah, Luke. I'm good." Luke gave him a suspicious look. Anakin got up from the floor, and sat himself next to Luke on another chair and spun around to come eye level with his son. "Have you ever been in a starship before?" It stroke him as odd that he had never asked him this before…
Luke shook his head, his attention easily moved from the previous statement onto something more interesting. "Unless speeders count," he said. "But I guess this is probably the best I can ever get close to." He smiled, a memory flashing in his mind's eye.
Anakin shook his head. "Not necessarily," he told his boy. The astroscrews in Anakin's fake hand whirred as he used gestures to imitate the starships and speeders "What's left of some planet's monarchy has great ships."
"What's left?"
Anakin gulped. "The emperor is under the impression that planets should all go by a system of the empire, the empire only. The few that remain have specially been assigned," he told Luke, "for special reasons," he smiled.
Luke didn't say anything. He turned his chair around, back facing Anakin.
"Are you excited?"
"For what?" Came Luke's reply. He didn't turn around again.
Anakin paused. What kind of answer is that? "For going home, of course," he said. "You seemed a bit homesick, Luke."
"I was not!" As any ten year old would defend, he denied anything that made him seem weak.
Anakin chuckled. He thought he should change the subject, then. "I used to live here, you know," he told Luke.
"You could die here, you know," he mocked Anakin's tone, retorting what came to his mind, "People would kill you if they knew the creator of the empire was here."
He gulped. He didn't have anything to say. There was a pause, and almost if he could sense the tension, the pilot said, "Sir, we've landed."
Anakin nodded. "Time to get your things, Luke."
The boy nodded, going to retrieve the little belongings he had set aside in the corner of the cockpit. He waited at the door for Anakin, giving him a knowing nod, hoping that he'd follow.
Anakin got up from his seat, giving a stressed sigh as he did so.
Luke kicked at the sand in front of the doorway as he waited for his father to follow. Anakin was lagging behind, hoping, obviously, to avoid the traumatic experience of leaving his son that he had only known for a week…
Even at such a young age, Luke could tell that his father was miserable. He knew that when he found Luke, he had hoped of his mother to be with him, his precious Padmé was all that he really cared about. He was Darth Vader then, the ruthless Sith lord that had brought terror to thousands across the galaxy.
He was a changed man now, he had told him, and Luke couldn't deny that he didn't see a change in his father. It was something about the way he walked, the way he smiled upon seeing Luke – his snide remarks about his family, his way of life were gone, replaced by the fatherly poise of Anakin Skywalker.
But the paternal side of Anakin was something that Luke knew wasn't promising. He had told his own son, the only living pieces of him, that he would give his presence away for the emperor. Luke had known it then, as well as now – he cared about his master more than his own son.
Gods, he tried to convince himself that this wasn't true. He hoped that Anakin had seen past Palpatine, that Luke was more important now – maybe, just maybe…
But he knew not to put too much hope into this. It wasn't true – he had told Luke, also, that he had always been 'different'. A different man, somewhat of an outcast from the Jedi – it was probably the reason he turned to the dark side, Luke decided.
When he had turned to the dark side, Anakin had lost everything. His brotherly master, who was more of a father to him but a brother to Obi-Wan, his 'family' in the Jedi Order, his trusting guidance, and his wife, Padmé. There was tragedy there, but Luke knew nothing of it. He wasn't aware of the struggles Anakin had gone through before Luke's birth.
Luke hoped that maybe he would change his ways – maybe he wouldn't tell the emperor about his presence. Maybe he wouldn't go back to the dark side!
It was useless to think these thoughts, though. He knew it would never happen – his father now lived with the dark… or did he? Suddenly, Luke was so confused – had he made the wrong decision by returned back to the farm?
After all, Anakin Skywalker was his father, his dad. He couldn't blame him for not knowing that he was alive, for he was hidden from him for the first decade of his life. If he hadn't turn to the dark side, they'd be a family, all three of them, per say – Anakin, Padmé, and Luke. It would just be right.
Anger streamed throughout his veins. If he hadn't become Vader, the most feared man in the universe, maybe – just maybe – his mother would be alive. And they'd be a family! Gods, how he hated his father now!
But he couldn't fully hate him – no. His father was no longer Darth Vader. He could see it in his eyes; he was Anakin Skywalker again. He had blue eyes. Gone, was the yellow hint. Wasn't that a sign that he had turned back, become good?
He kicked said again, he wind blowing it back and landing on his shin. He grunted, loud enough for Anakin to hear. There was no sign of Beru or Owen, for they were probably inside the burrow, not able to hear their nephew outside.
"I think it's time," Luke told his father, who was now standing close to him. His eyes looked watery, blue there were no tears.
Anakin nodded. It was time. "Goodbye, Luke," he said as seriously as he could. He held in the pain he felt – he would let it out later, on the ship… when he was alone. He didn't say anything else; he just waited for Luke to make a move.
Was he supposed to hug him, tell him how good he had been to him in the past week? No, he decided – because that would all be a lie. He had captured him, thrust him on board, and kept him there. He had brought him to his mother's burial, where Luke had realized who Vader really was, his true identity towards Luke. Then, after – they had made up, slightly. And Vader wasn't Vader anymore… he was Anakin.
Anakin watched as his son trotted down the steep stairwell down into the homestead. He couldn't help but feel the pang of leaving him, the insanity of it all. After all, he had been fair enough to bring him home – couldn't that be enough? Couldn't Luke finally see who he really was, deep down?
No.
He couldn't.
Luke didn't even look back. He just disappeared down into his home, leaving nothing behind, nothing said. Goodbye, my son, he thought. He nodded his head, and turned away, walking towards his ship.
"It's good to have met you, Anakin..."
What had he done wrong since Luke had discovered that he was his father? Everything, he guessed. He hadn't been the right man he should've been… he shouldn't of taken Luke away, he decided. He should have left him be, to go on to live his life. He was sure they'd meet again in later years – hopefully. Maybe Luke would join the band of Rebels, like he talked about.
Luke was a rebellious boy – he hated Darth Vader with a burning passion. No, it wasn't what he did after Luke had found out his parentage; it's what happened before that. It was the things he did while under the orders of Sidious.
Execute Order Sixty-Six…"Anakin, no!"
"Master Skywalker, there are too many of them – what are we going to do?"
The youngling's faces flashed in Anakin's mind. Why did he do that? What compelled him to think that killing innocent children would save his wife from death? Was Padmé really worth that, and in the end, she died anyway?
And it was because of you, Anakin Skywalker…"Wait!"
Anakin turned around, compelled to see the childish voice that was in the far off distance… Luke, little more than a small spec, getting bigger – running towards Anakin at full speed. "Wait, Father!" His voice got louder as he grew closer.
He stopped in front of Anakin, breathless. He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his son at this moment – he had run out of impulse, it was his decision. "Wait," his voice was smaller now. He had gotten Anakin's attention already; he just wanted to make sure.
"Luke?" Anakin asked. "Why are you back?" It wasn't like he didn't want him back; he didn't want him to come with him, he just – needed to know.
Luke swallowed hard. "I – um," he stuttered, obviously not prepared for this moment. "You're my father, right?"
Anakin nodded.
"And I'm your son, correct?"
Anakin nodded again.
Luke frowned. "Then aren't we supposed to be together? I mean, I'm only at my aunt and uncle's because I had no one," his father thought he saw a hint of desire in Luke's new, tiny smile, "Well, I have someone now, right?"
Anakin chuckled, surprised by this. He was shocked, actually, and that was an understatement. He didn't have words.
"My aunt and uncle don't know that I'm even home," he said. "I don't think they heard me come in. I mean, we didn't even really say anything outside. So – I was…"
Luke looked down, making shapes in the sand with his boot. "Will you – uh – not tell the emperor about me, if I stay?" He looked up, staring at Anakin up his big, blue eyes. They were piercing, promising…
And Anakin couldn't refuse him.
A/N: No, it's not over! Please review, I enjoy your feedback!